#original experience

the other day, i went to get a haircut. i had been planning on trying a mullet for the first time, partially inspired by dan howell. i asked my bf if i should show this photo as reference:

he said "NO, that's too freaky."

during the haircut as i was showing other inspo pics to the hairdresser, i VERY briefly swiped over the dan howell one. the lady cutting my hair saw it for one (1) millisecond and urgently said "oh that's cute!!!" i think with how fast it passed, she didn't want to miss the opportunity to comment on it. so that's she said it so frantically. or maybe because she recognized him?

i responded with "oh yeah, that's a youtuber..." and there was an awkward moment of silence after.

which maybe made me sound suspicious?? like the freaky tongue-out-guy picture was NOT a youtuber? and instead a DIFFERENT kind of "content creator" i knew?

I basically felt like a criminal on his run for years, scared that an higher being would notice, point and make the sky fall on me for daring to exist wrong.

I've always been aware of how unrealistic and stupid it was to be so ashamed for no actual reason, but I could never shake that off; then as I gradually got more comfortable with my identity it got better and better, till it just stopped.

trying to read eltingville smut and YOUR OWN FUCKING WORK POPS UP💔.

I'm gonna tell you some chismeee ☕☕☕

So. My ex texted me, and I'm a kind soul so I answered, bcs it is not that serious to me; note: he just broke up with his girlfriend, just so you know. (Her possibly cheating and he's not so innocent either,) according to my sources.

The thing is, we've known each other for years, now (I mean, elementary, middle, and high school) and we dated for a month THREE YEARS AGO, mind you; the worst month of my life, I was lonely, craving attention, doing not good stuff... You get it.

I was really struggling, and, he was (still, I think) also struggling with mental health, he was actually worse off than me. And I was playing therapist.

Things ended, and I suggested we stay friends, but he refused... So I said, whatever, and moved on with my life. Because it was only a month, but he seemed really hurt... For some reason? Wrap it up, my guy.

He didn't even pay attention to me, girls... What was I doing. Like I said, I was craving attention, and he wasn't even giving me the slightest bit. Just a drop of nothing and I would take it.

In those three years, I improved A LOT; I'm not struggling anymore. In fact, I think I'm at the best moment of my life. So far. It could always get better.

And today he texted me. And it threw me off.

Basically, he said he felt sad, lonely, and angry about some things that were happening, probably his breakup, but I played dumb and didn't ask. He said he wasn't talking to anyone (meaning friends), asked about me, and I didn't give any details. I just said things were going well.

This was already throwing me off because... Weird. And also he was speaking English in some sentences... We speak spanish, man. And that's just weird.

Wtf are you doing, buddy? Seriously, that's just weird and cringe. And he was calling me "sis", using acronyms, just randomly speaking English. But I didn't mention it... (so throughout the entire conversation I was laughing my ass off)

Then he asked me if I'd like to go out, said to get out of HIS shitty routine. ??? So I said, "sounds good to me."

He said, "What do you like?" I said, "Whatever." He said, "Do you like boba?" I said, "Yes." He said, "What's your favorite?" I said "caramel"

He said:

MIND YOU, whole conversation in Spanish. And I said, "I'm at (another place)" because I knew where this was going... I asked "why" Then he said, "Do you really wanna know?" I said, "yeah I guess" He said, "I was going to take it to your house."

... I BEG YOUR FINEST FUCKING PARDON?

Well sometimes random characters pop in my mind as ‘placeholders’ for the ‘reader’ right, and it’s so random dude