#ordoesit

1: College in general has the ability to mess you up so much, especially since you thought you were done being messed up. Turns out, college kids/professors exist.

2: Everything you were always scared to do (like being alone), you do on a daily basis, in fact its necessary for you to do them on a daily basis and you even enjoy them

3: Everything is grey. Finding a black or white college experience is impossible. You could be questioning someone's audacity at one moment and simultaneously be able to have the best time with them. You could have the best and worst day of your life every day. You could feel invisible and like the centre of attention all at once.

4: You feel like going back every day despite everything, just to see. Because anything can happen, everything does.

5: You question yourself over and over and over again. You feel like you're still 9 years old and its 3rd grade, you feel older than you could physically be. You never realise that all of this is just being 19, you feel like you'll be 19 forever, this terrifies you and comforts you at the same time.

6: Your college experience will never be the same as of those around you. This will confuse you, but its true for everyone.

Do you really think that I can?

I don't feel like I can.

I see the notes, I know they're there.

I want to show you that I can play them.

But can I really?

There's always that voice that says you can't do it.

You're no good.

There's someone better than you.

But I want to keep on fighting.

I don't want to give in to that voice.

I need to fight.

I know that there is someone better.

I know I might screw up.

But I want to keep on trying and failing.

Because every time I fail I can pick myself up again and do better.