earthatnight

One day you will stop being the person I text when I think of far fetched dreams and a tuck shop in Arangkel. One day you will stop being the person I think about when I think about nothing. The word on the tip of my tongue when I want to speak just for the sake of speaking. The concept I explain when the subject is beautiful. You will stop being my other life, the one I'd ask for if one could ask for lives. You will stop being my haunting when it's 3 am and I'm still awake. Or when it's morning and I’ve just woken up, or when I breathe. And it's not that I miss you all these times, I’ve never had enough of you to miss. It’s like if I think enough about you then you’re technically existing right here with me. Like you’re the realest thing in my life. One day I won’t think about you enough. And not in the way that I’m making a conscious effort to not think about you. I just won’t. You won’t be a memory, or a concept, or a haunting. You’ll belong nowhere in the places I’ve never been able to leave. I’ve never been one to leave but I’ll leave you, I swear one day I will. One day I won’t be 19, looking up at you with eyes full of love.