Came across this today "Someone who overthinks is also someone who overloves" and it's such a painful truth. Like is there such a thing as overlove, how can someone overlove but it's real and the thing is because of that you are abandoned one too many times because you were clingy and you were too much. In the beginning they thrive under that much attention and care you give them but as time passes it gets too much and they won't say anything to you coz they don't want to come across as cruel, no they just start distancing from you and here is where the overthinking part comes in, as you think of every interaction between you two to understand why they have started to pull away and you won't know and you might never know coz you are just too scared to ask them in fear of them telling the truth that "we were suffocating them". So we pretend nothing is wrong and we allow it to happen and act as if we don't notice it and one day they have completely cut us off. And we move on even though it hurts to do so but what else can we do, not like we can force them to stay. And this happens over and over again and at one point you even think it's better to not care so much so they won't leave but that's even worse coz it feels like you are burying a part of yourself and you are constantly checking every conversation with them to see if you have crossed that line and it's exhausting. And is that even worth it though, this pretend game where you are acting as a completely different person. But you are so scared of not being enough or being too much that you are willing to go through all that just so they would stay. And the saddest part is we don't expect even half of the affection from them, we give and give and give without expecting anything in return because that's just who we are. We are happy with the bare minimum and that is enough. But the truth is it's not enough because we deserve better than that. We deserve to experience the love that we give to others.
Recently I have realized something, that its okay to overlove. In fact share all that love to people you see out there, or people you talk to because one day you will meet someone who will love you in that exact same way reciprocating all that you give equally and it's beautiful as you finally understand that you weren't too much or you were suffocating them. It's just that they are not worthy of such encompassing love. They just don't understand that kind of love. But there will be someone who will and when you find that person/'s it's all going to be worth it. You just have to be patient. And believe me don't diminish that love for anyone. It's what makes us who we are and this world needs all the love it can get.
