It all happens lightning fast. Jiang Cheng sends Zidian out, trying to keep it’s tension high with his other hand, not caring about how the whip bites into his own flesh. On the other side, Nie Mingjue does the same, stabilizing Baxia with his hand as he channels his qi towards the creature they are fighting and the moment combined their qi hits it, everything explodes into light and Jiang Cheng is thrown back.
He groans, shaking his head as he rights himself but as soon as he sees clearly again, he jumps to his feet.
“Mingjue?” he calls out and breathes a little easier when he gets a “Here” back.
“What the fuck was that,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, making his way over to where Nie Mingjue is just pushing himself to his feet but he stops dead in his tracks when he sees an egg where before the creature was.
“What the fuck is that?” Jiang Cheng says again, this time with much more urgency than before and Nie Mingjue follows his gaze.
“Fuck, is it going to come back?” Nie Mingjue asks, keeping Baxia at the ready.
Jiang Cheng shrugs—it’s not like he actually knows what they were fighting in the first place or what this egg is supposed to be.
“I don’t think so,” Jiang Cheng says once he carefully inspected the egg.
The creature they just fought was brimming with malicious intent, but this egg feels different. This egg feels familiar in a way Jiang Cheng can’t name and he carefully puts his hand on it.
“There’s something inside,” he says with wonder and then looks up at Nie Mingjue.
“Mingjue, did we just create an egg?” he asks, because what other explanation is there for it and Nie Mingjue turns big eyes on him.
“What the hell,” he mutters and comes closer. “Are you sure?”
“Well, it is right there,” Jiang Cheng snaps out and then turns away from Nie Mingjue. “Are you going to take responsibility for it?”
“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says but he stops himself with a sigh. “You think I wouldn’t?”
“Doesn’t seem to me like you’re that interested,” Jiang Cheng bites out, the anger that’s been filling him for days now bubbling up again.
“Because you yelled at me to stay away!” Nie Mingjue gives back, his tempter clearly rising as well.
“Yeah, I wasn’t the one who welcomed the hug of a very marriageable lady,” Jiang Cheng hisses and Nie Mingjue throws his hands in the air.
“I told you, she hugged me without my consent and I nearly threw her into the nearest wall for it. Why do you always believe the worst gossip? And then coming from Old Man Yao on top of that?”
“Maybe because he’s the only one telling me shit,” Jiang Cheng almost yells, but he knows that they are being ridiculous. It’s not like he doesn’t believe Nie Mingjue and it’s not like he would ever actually cheat on him, either.
“It’s Old Man Yao,” Nie Mingjue stresses. “He’s always saying shit. Now, can we please come back to this other problem?”
“Well, it’s our problem now,” Jiang Cheng says, challenging Nie Mingjue with a look.
“Wanyin, if I wanted to leave you alone, with the egg on top of it, then I would point out that between the two of us you are clearly the only one with any form of animal attached to your person that lays eggs. And might I remind you that there are two of them on you right now? But I’m not pointing that out, because I’m not an asshole and I’m not going to leave you with the goddamn egg,” Nie Mingjue shouts and it’s so stupid, so absolutely ridiculous what they are doing right now, what they are fighting over, that Jiang Cheng burst out into laughter.
“Wanyin!”
“No, I know, I’m sorry,” Jiang Cheng says between bouts of laughter. “It’s just—it’s an egg, Mingjue. An egg. What’s it gonna do? Demand child support?”
“It’s probably going to hatch at one point,” Nie Mingjue grumbles, but there’s a smile playing around his mouth, too. “Maybe we should go back to Lotus Pier to make sure it doesn’t break out here or something.”
“Oh, now you’re inviting yourself into my home. First a hug with a stranger and now this? You’re awfully bold, Nie-zongzhu,” Jiang Cheng teases him, his anger of the incident all forgotten.
He can’t even remember why he believed Old Man Yao in the first place.
“Fine, be like that,” Nie Mingjue says and then carefully takes the egg into his hands. “It probably needs to be kept warm. Do we even want it to hatch? I guess we do, huh?” he mutters to himself and Jiang Cheng watches him fondly.
“I apologize,” he says, tired of being away from him and Nie Mingjue looks back at him.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, this is neither the first nor will it be the last fight we have over totally stupid things. We simply have to accept that this is who we are now,” Nie Mingjue says and carefully cradles the egg to his chest so he can reach out for Jiang Cheng’s hand.
“Are you still bleeding?” Jiang Cheng asks, taking Nie Mingjue’s hand to inspect the cut on it.
“Ah, bullshit. It’s a papercut, nothing more,” Nie Mingjue says but Jiang Cheng has to make sure for himself that it’s nothing more serious than that.
“We’ll get our cuts cleaned once we’re back. Now come on, the egg probably doesn’t like it out here.”
“Ah, you’re already getting attached,” Nie Mingjue teases him and Jiang Cheng sends him a very pointed look, seeing it’s currently Nie Mingjue who is cradling the egg to his chest like it’s the most precious thing in the world.
He very wisely doesn’t comment on it, though.
~*~*~
“Congratulations, you are parents,” Jiang Cheng’s healer tells them in his driest voice possible and Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue share a look.
“What now?”
“This eggs holds both of your spiritual signatures, so it’s undeniable that you are its creators. What it will eventually hatch into, I have no idea. I have never seen anything like it.”
“So what’s going to happen?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to trade places with him when the healer almost kills him with his look.
“I have never seen anything like it. What in this sentence makes you believe I know what’s going to happen?” he gives back and Nie Mingjue takes a step back.
Good instinct, Jiang Cheng has to give him that.
“I would treat it like any egg. Keep it warm, keep it dry and safe, and then we’ll just have to wait and see,” the healer advises them and Jiang Cheng nods.
They can totally take turns carrying the egg, no problem.
It’s a bigger problem as they originally thought, mostly because they are afraid of breaking it, but one of them always keeps it on their person at all times.
It takes three weeks for something to happen, though.
“Mingjue!” Jiang Cheng yells across the trainings field, “the egg!”
It’s enough to get Nie Mingjue moving, and Jiang Cheng decides not to glare at the disciples who snicker behind Nie Mingjue’s back.
“What’s happening?”
“There’s a crack!” Jiang Cheng says as they rush back to their room and Jiang Cheng is worried.
He thought he took good care of the egg but what if he did something wrong? What if he damaged it somehow?
“It’ll be alright,” Nie Mingjue says, clearly reading his mood and Jiang Cheng gives him a tight smile.
When they get back to the room there are more cracks on it, so clearly it’s just about to hatch.
They argue over whether they should help it along or not, but by the time they come to a conclusion their little baby snake is already born.
And a snake it is. A tiny snake, it’s body green with brown dots sprinkled all over it. It’s kind of adorable, Jiang Cheng has to admit.
“Well, that’s certainly your kid,” Nie Mingjue drily says, his eyes on the snake and Jiang Cheng huffs.
“It has your Sect’s colours. It’s clearly just as much your kid as it is mine. You’re not getting out of this. You really can’t deny that it’s your kid, too.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Nie Mingjue says and takes his eyes off the snake, that’s just confusedly wriggling around for now. “Listen here, Wanyin,” he says and turns Jiang Cheng towards him. “You don’t get to say shit like that. I’m going to marry you, so you better stop saying shit like that.”
“Oh, now he wants to marry me,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but he’s absolutely delighted by this turn of events. “Now that we have a snake baby, he is suddenly keen to take responsibility.”
“I would have taken responsibility all the way back when we first kissed, but you wouldn’t let me,” Nie Mingjue says with an eyeroll and Jiang Cheng wonders if that is his influence. “Now you don’t get out of it again. That’s our kid, snake or not, and you don’t get a choice anymore. Huaisang has the auspicious date ready anyway, so this is happening. We’re so getting married.”
“Okay,” Jiang Cheng chokes out, tears clouding his vision but he’s so, so happy that he doesn’t even care.
“That was easier than expected,” Nie Mingjue muses and Jiang Cheng really has had enough of him talking so he fists his hands in his robe and pulls him into a kiss.
It’s a good thing they have their eyes closed for it, because there’s a bang and a blinding light and when they blink their eyes open again the snake is gone.
Instead, there’s a human baby staring at them.
“Aaah-baaa,” it gurgles and Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue share a look.
“Not so much a snake anymore,” Jiang Cheng eventually says and Nie Mingjue shrugs.
“Still ours though,” he says and then promptly picks the baby up. “No getting out of it, my point stands.”
“I wouldn’t even think of it,” Jiang Cheng whispers back, putting his hand to the baby’s back and he has no clue what happened or how they did it, but he guesses they must be blessed.
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i find him hot but idk he’s like giving grifter vibes
hes hot and there's truly some thing he knows about! but God I keep getting clips of his podcast or whatever and I think he's such an asshole sometimes
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