#beetober2021

“What happened to Mingjue?” Lan Qiren rushes out as he steps forward, taking Nie Mingjue’s wrist in his hand.

“Will he be alright, Lan-laoshi?” Nie Huaisang sobs out and Lan Qiren frowns in concentration.

“I think so. He needs a healer and someone who can transfer qi to him, but I think he’ll make it. He’s strong-willed.”

Jiang Cheng would offer himself for the qi transferring, but he doubts his offer will be well met.

“There needs to be justice,” Lan Xichen says and Jiang Cheng wonders just what kind of relationship he and Jin Guangyao had for him to be so ignorant of Nie Mingjue’s struggles right now.

“Yes, there needs to be,” Lan Qiren agrees and stands up, a serious look on his face. “If you killed Jin Guangyao you will need to be held responsible for it.”

“He was trying to kill Nie Mingjue. I tried to stop him,” Jiang Cheng says, keeping his answers short, because he knows no one here will really listen to him but Lan Qiren frowns.

“If that is the truth then we need to hear Nie Mingjue’s account of what happened,” he says as he strokes his beard. “I propose imprisonment until he wakes up to give his version.”

“No, uncle!” Lan Xichen cries out, but Jiang Cheng thinks this is better than anything else he could have hoped for.

It’s likely he’ll die in that prison cell still—seeing as he just killed Jin Guangshan’s son, who always had something personal against him—but at least he’ll get a bit of time.

Not many words are exchanged as Jiang Cheng is being led into his cell and once he’s shoved in there and the guards have left, it’s quiet and dark.

“Well, fuck me,” Jiang Cheng mutters and sits down to mediate.

It’s not like there’s anything else for him to do at the moment.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng comes back into awareness when he hears someone approach his cell.

“Jiang Wanyin,” Lan Qiren says and Jiang Cheng gets up to greet his old teacher properly.

“Lan-laoshi,” he gives back but Lan Qiren waves him off.

“None of that nonsense,” he admonishes him. “Tell me, are you telling the truth about Jin Guangyao?”

“Yes,” Jiang Cheng gives back, keeping eye contact with Lan Qiren. “He was bragging about killing Nie Mingjue right to his face. I had to stop him.”

“Then you did the right thing,” Lan Qiren mutters, stroking his beard again. “But Jin Guangshan is out for blood.”

Jiang Cheng snorts at that.

“Please, he only recognized Jin Guangyao as his son because he turned into a war hero when he killed Wen Ruohan. I mean, look at the name he gave him; he clearly doesn’t care about him.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Lan Qiren agrees. “But it’s convenient for him right now. He fears you.”

“Me, right,” Jiang Cheng scoffs. “What does he have to fear from me? I’m just a kid with a burned down Sect.”

“And yet you fought in the war, more bravely than Jin Guangshan. Lotus Pier is already rising again, people are flocking to you. He’s afraid of that.”

“So what? He’s going to take this opportunity to kill me?” Jiang Cheng wants to know and he can’t find it in him to even be angry.

Of course he would be killed for doing the right thing. Why did he even expect anything else at this point in his life.

“There might be a solution,” Lan Qiren says. “Depending on what Nie Mingjue says when he wakes up.”

“And what would that be?” Jiang Cheng asks, because he’s not actually that keen to die.

Not with Jin Ling back at Lotus Pier.

“If you said you acted in defence of your spouse, things would be different,” Lan Qiren says and Jiang Cheng jerks back.

“I will not pretend to be engaged or married to Nie Mingjue just to safe my life!” he hisses out, because like this he would drag down Nie Mingjue as well.

“But it might be the only choice!”

“How are you even going to spin this? I will not be allowed to talk to him and Nie Mingjue will certainly not say it unprompted.”

“We’ll see about that, actually. The boy is not dumb by any means,” Lan Qiren muses, stroking his beard again as he walks away without so much of a goodbye.

Jiang Cheng wonders if this is the last he will ever see of another living person until he’s executed.

~*~*~

“Wanyin,” a voice says, and Jiang Cheng sits up on the floor.

Nie Mingjue is staring into the cell, propped up by Nie Huaisang who seems ready to buckle under his weight.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng gives back, deciding to match him in informality.

“Open the door,” Nie Mingjue barks out and a poor guard scrambles to obey him. “I hope you treated my spouse well or else you will have another thing coming for you,” Nie Mingjue tells them, briefly catching Jiang Cheng’s eyes, who nods.

It seems like Lan Qiren did make it work somehow.

“Are you alright?” Jiang Cheng asks and rushes forward to take Nie Mingjue off Nie Huaisang, who groans.

“Have been better,” Nie Mingjue says and then hugs Jiang Cheng. “We married in secret shortly after the Sunshot Campaign,” he whispers, and Jiang Cheng nods.

“How is the—investigation going?” Jiang Cheng winces at his own choice of words there because Jin Guangshan will not allow an actual investigation.

“Jin Guangyao was trying to kill da-ge. You acted in defence of your husband. There is no investigation to be held,” Nie Huaisang informs him, and he hugs him as well as soon as Nie Mingjue pulls back.

“Thank you for saving him,” he whispers and Jiang Cheng awkwardly pats his back.

“Sure,” he says and then winces when his stomach growls. “Is there any way your husband can be treated to a meal or two?” he asks and Nie Mingjue chuckles.

“Sure, come along.”

He brings Jiang Cheng to his personal chambers, where food is already waiting for them and it’s only when the doors are closed that Nie Mingjue throws an apologizing look at Jiang Cheng.

“I’m sorry,” he says and Jiang Cheng simply shrugs.

“For what? Saving my life with a lie?” he wants to know as he shovels rice into his mouth. “Could be worse.”

There’s a beat of silence before Nie Mingjue speaks again.

“I didn’t know you cut your sleeve.”

“Well,” Jiang Cheng mumbles with his mouth full of food, before he swallows. “It’s not like I ever got a chance to really find out,” he admits. “But I do enjoy looking at both,” he admits, flushing a little bit. “What about you?”

“I do. Cut my sleeve that is,” Nie Mingjue admits without an ounce of shame and gingerly sits down opposite of Jiang Cheng.

“And I mean with the story we spun, we were married for years in secret. It’s not like much has to change now, so we can probably get away with as little as possible.”

Jiang Cheng pauses at that. Now that his life is no longer in danger, and his stomach is no longer grumbling loudly enough to deafen him, he takes a moment to think it through.

“Actually,” he slowly starts, and he avoids looking at Nie Mingjue for this, “I don’t think I’d mind anything more—public.” He winces. “I mean, only if you’d want to try, of course. We could court in secret and see if we could be a good match, maybe, and then in public we could pretend to be happily married? I mean only if you want of course, and you don’t have—”

“Yes, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue interrupts his rambling with a chuckle. “We can try for real,” he says, and Jiang Cheng is taken aback by the dimples that appear when he smiles.

“Okay, then,” he dumbly says and Nie Mingjue laughs at him a bit more.

“Eat your food, husband,” Nie Mingjue tells him and Jiang Cheng is never going to admit it, but that word out of Nie Mingjue’s mouth makes a shudder run down his back.

Pretending to be married to Nie Mingjue while getting to know him better is not going to be the worst in the world, Jiang Cheng guesses. He’s starting to look forward to it, actually.

  “I’ll ask you one more time. What are you doing here?” He brought his sword up, assuming a defensive stance even though he moved Baxia back to his back. 

  “Near Qinghe? I don’t know, making the rounds, maybe.” And escaping my elders., he added mentally. Not that he was going to tell him that, anyways. 

  “Oh. Oh!” He brought his sword down again and Mingjue resisted the urge to smile at the cute way he opened his mouth minutely, as if finally realizing that he was near Qinghe. “I’m just passing, sorry for trespassing.” He bowed again, bringing his hands up after he put his sword back in its sheath. “Please, don’t tell anyone you saw me.” 

  “No that anyone would ever believe me. You are dead, after all.” He said, watching as the younger boy kneeled near a tree and started pulling some plants before pressing them together until a plaster was formed. “Are you hurt?” 

  “No. I’m doing this for fun.” He moved his head to the sides quickly, his voice reaching a false and too happy tone before going back to his usual tone and this time he didn’t resist the urge to snort. “Shouldn’t you keep going? You never know what kind of creatures are waiting in the shadows while you are here with a minor ghost like me.” 

  “I don’t think you would be a minor ghost if you were really dead.” He stepped closer to him in time to see a gushing wound on his calf. “What happened?” 

  “I cut myself. Nothing more.” And it was just then that he noticed how pale Jiang Wanyin looked and how his hands were trembling as he applied the plaster over the black-rimmed wound. Nie Mingjue tried to remember what could do a wound like that as he bandaged it tightly. “Bye, Nie-zongzhu. Have a good day.” 

  “Wait, Young Master Jiang.” He grabbed his wrist, forcing him to stop. “You should have a look at that, a professional look. It looks bad.” 

  “Ghosts don’t need healers, Sect Leader Nie.” He pulled his arm back, trying to get him to let go. “And don’t call me that. Young Master Jiang is dead, haven't you heard?” 

  “Then who are you?” They stared at each other for some time before he sighed and motioned for him to lead the way. 

  “Go on, let’s end this soon.” He stepped aside, stopping fighting against his hold. 

  “Alright, but what should I call you?” He pressed, letting go of his wrist and taking a step back. 

  “Ghos-...” He stated, before his eyes rolled back and he fell down to the ground, only missing hitting his head because Mingjue held him in time. Without thinking, he jumped on Baxia and fled back to Qinghe with the boy, who shouldn’t be as alive as he was, in his arms and paleing at every second that passed. His healers looked at him suspiciously and tried to fuss over him too, but nodded when he said he was fine and asked for discretion and no comments before he went to fetch his brother. 

  After he explained everything, Nie Huaisang only nodded and told him to go on with his day, that he would make sure that his friend was okay. It was well after lunch when he appeared again with a fierce look on his face and a plan at the tip of his tongue. Apparently, Jiang Wanyin wasn't going anywhere anytime soon because the wound was poisoned and the plaster had the contrary effect of what he thought it would, quickening the poisoning and because Nie Huaisang himself wasn’t letting him go anywhere. 

  “For all the effects, he is our cousin and his courtesy name is Nie Qinghua, he uses a mask because it’s tradition on that branch of the family and his passing time with us for better education.” Nie Huaisang said, opening his fan with a flick of his wrist and staring at him with what seemed a challenge. “He is not coming back, Da-ge.”

  “Alright. And I really doubt he would like to, with the way he was insisting he was dead.” Nie Mingjue said, putting the letter of the Sect Leader Yao down and his chin on his palm. “Does he agree with this? Or did you just take a half-coherent noise as agreement and follow through with your plan?” 

  “Of course he agreed with this.” His fan quickened in speed and he raised an eyebrow. “Fine, I’ll ask him again when he’s more awake.” 

  “Good.” He smirked, getting back to the letter. “What is his given name?” 

  “The same as before. But nobody from before is getting close enough of him to call him by his given name.” His brother got up, closing his fan with a snap before pointing it at him. “He is not going back to them, Da-ge. He is not.” The challenge was still on his eyes as he walked away from the throne room and Nie Mingjue thought that everyone who ever said that he was weak and unfit for the Nie clan had never truly seen where Huaisang’s strength really stood. 

  Two days later, Jiang Wanyin - for the outsider world, Nie Qinghua now - was up and actively agreeing with Huaisang’s plan. He explained that no, he did not die or faked his death but rather got lost after a night hunt and slightly disoriented after a particularly strong hit - At this, his cheek got adorably red and Nie Mingjue smiled at that. When he finally managed to get back home, he heard the rumors that he was dead and then he left, starting to wander around as a rogue cultivator. The gushing wound was apparently the night hunt’s fault too. 

  And just like that, Wanyin started to live with them and, at some point, he became Nie Mingjue’s first adviser and Nie Huaisang’s unwilling model to everything. Slowly, he wriggled his way into Qinghe’s lifestyle, starting to advise him over his shoulder and his acid humor while join the disciples every day on their training to learn the Nie style of fighting even if both Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue said that he didn’t need to. After he recovered fully, both of them started to spare everyday, early in the morning, finishing their exercise right before Nie Huaisang woke up and claimed him fully until he was needed in a meeting or something. 

  Despite his young age, Jiang Wanyin was really smart and had good ideas to help the clan, though some did have that eager hope that everyone was better than they seemed. He liked to discuss everything about the leadership of a clan and involved himself truly with the disciple’s training, supervisioning it every time he could and always wanting to know more about everything and everyone. He was strict, though, stricter than Nie Mingjue sometimes and more times than now they would be in a situation where they would be playing the strict and relaxed parents while his disciples tried to hide their amused laughs and grins behind their sleeves and each other’s shoulders. 

  When the cultivation meeting’s happened, Jiang Wanyin always sat between him and Nie Huaisang, wearing the mask that they ordered especially for him and combined with his new robes. At first, the other Sect Leaders were suspicious of him, especially Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao, who had been recently officialized after he proved his value. They tried to discover more about his past, but they weren’t capable of passing Nie Huaisang’s schemes and the Qinghe people’s loyalty to their new second in command that somehow managed to be even more hard-headed than their Sect Leader. 

  Even though they were suspicious, none of them suspected who Nie Qinghua really was and it was obvious it got to Jiang Wanyin when he introduced himself to his shije and shige again and none of them recognized him, simply smiling politely and introducing themselves back before leaving. He tried to make it look like it didn’t affect him as much as it did, but by that time Nie Mingjue knew him a little bit better and, not for the first, he wished he could declare war against the Jiangs for making this special and sweet boy so self-conscious and afraid of love. For the looks of it, his people agreed with him. 

  Eight years passed without further incidents and Jiang Wanyin had grown up a lot since he became Nie Qinghua. He learned a lot of the Nie’s style and some of the disciples, the younger ones especially, started to pick up on some of the Jiang’s style and Nie Mingjue couldn’t say he was really angry or offended at it. Not when it not only saved some of them, but made Wanyin’s eyes light up when he noticed that they were imitating. 

  But, nothing lasts forever and though their time together wasn’t free of worries and fights, Nie Mingjue couldn’t really say that he had a bad time with him by his side. It was some months before Wanyin’s twenty-four years birthday when his first qi deviation happened and he didn’t want to think why it took longer than it should. He stayed bedridden for only four days before he was up and working again, against both Wanyin and Huaisang’s protests, right in time for the last cultivation conference that unfortunately was being held at Qinghe. 

  “Mingjue, really, you should call this off. You are in no condition to head a meeting like this.” Jiang Wanyin said, crossing his arms as Nie Mingjue finished the last of his braids. 

  “Exactly, Da-ge! If you won’t listen to me, listen to A-Cheng!” Nie Huaisang said, passing his guan to him and hitting his shoulder weakly with his fan. “Just thought about all the bragging that Sect Leader Yao is going to do and how Sect Leader Jin is going to do whatever pleases him and nitpick everything!” He pleaded and Nie Mingjue rolled his eyes at them as he stood up. 

  “I did and if the Healer Zhao says I am good to go, then I’m good to go.” He tightened his belt and turned to both of them with a raised eyebrow. “I’m fine, I’m going to be fine and if Sect Leader Yao starts to talk too much bullshit, I will simply throw Baxia at him and keep going.” 

  “Da-ge, do not throw Baxia at Sect Leader Yao!” Nie Huaisang said, following after him before stopping on his track with a questioning look. “Though it would be hilarious to see it and, probably, very effective. Alright, Da-ge, you can throw Baxia at Sect Leader Yao but only enough to scare him.” He nodded and Jiang Wanyin chuckled beside, his arms still crossed as he followed them a few steps behind. 

  “He would jump so high!” He chuckled, trying to hold back his smile as Nie Mingjue looked at him over his shoulder. 

  “And what about the scream he would let out?” He asked, very pleased with himself when both him and his brother started snickering like crazies. Really, he raised two monsters, he really did. “Ok, ok, control yourselves, we are here.” Two minutes passed before he stepped into the conference room and greeted all the other Sect Leaders there, sitting on his chair and trying to not let any anger settle in. It was all going fine and smooth until Jin Guangshan made an unfortunate comment and Jiang Wanyin responded it with sarcasm out of instinct. 

  “What was that, Nie-guwen?” Jin Guangshan said and Nie Mingjue immediately zoomed back in the conversation when he noticed it was to Wanyin he was talking with. 

  “Nothing, just agreeing that it's a very intelligent idea to go on with that marriage agreement when both parties are so interested in it.” He shrugged and Mingjue leaned towards Nie Huaisang with an inquisitive look. 

  “They are talking about Jiang-guniang and Jin-gongzi's marriage, Da-ge. Really, weren’t you listening?” He rolled his eyes, holding his fan higher as Jin Guangshan pointed at Wanyin and asked what the Nie clan had to do with the agreement between the clans Jin and Jiang. 

  “Nothing, Sect Leader Jin. But my cousin was only stating what everyone thinks about it and you asked him what he thought about it too, after all.” Nie Mingjue intervened when Wanyin’s shoulders tensed up. “He merely answered.” 

  “Sect Leader Nie, I know that you and your brother are very protective of your cousin, but you should really leave him to talk for himself. He is your advisor, after all.” Jiang Fengmian interjected and he saw Nie Huaisang’s fingers tightening against the fan. “I know he must be very intelligent or he wouldn’t have become your first advisor, after all.” 

  “And doesn’t show his face.” Sect Leader Yao muttered, probably thinking that nobody could hear him when it was exactly the contrary. 

  “I am, Sect Leader Jiang, but it would be very unkind to my cousin if I spoke over him every time.” Jiang Wanyin said, crossing his arms. “And I don’t show my face because of a tradition on my side of the family, Sect Leader Yao, but if my face will give you more trust in my opinions…” He lifted one of his hands, moving to remove his mask. “Then I will gladly remove it for you, Sect Leader Yao.”

  “Wait, A-Hua.” Both Nie Huaisang and Nie Mingjue moved to stop him, but it was too late and he had already removed it. 

  “See? Happy now?” He waved the piece of cloth to the side as Jiang Fengmian stared at him with wide eyes. 

  “Wanyin?” Fengmian said, getting up from his seat. 

“It’s not even about you. I always have to go with a whole division and I barely get to do anything,” Jiang Cheng corrects. “I never got to travel. I just—I want to see something of the world,” Jiang Cheng tells him and Nie Mingjue nods.

“And you want to go home,” he guesses, because he’s sure that will be one of Jiang Cheng’s stops.

Nie Mingjue wouldn’t be surprised if he even stayed there for a longer time, too. It’s where his siblings are, after all.

“No,” Jiang Cheng immediately says. “I do not want to go home. I don’t want to see my parents.”

“Alright.”

“You’re taking this way to calmly,” Jiang Cheng whispers and Nie Mingjue wonders what he expected of him.

“How should I take it?” he asks but Jiang Cheng only shakes his head.

“Not like this! Why are you so okay with this?”

“Because you want to leave. I want you to be happy and if you have to leave for that then I will let you do that.”

“Mingjue, no,” Jiang Cheng says and gets up so he can walk around the table and climb into Nie Mingjue’s lap. “I’m not unhappy. And I don’t want to leave you,” he says and his voice doesn’t allow an argument. “I’m happy here with you, because I like you,” Jiang Cheng goes on and since he’s this close now Nie Mingjue gets to see how a faint red dusts his cheeks. “I love you. It’s just—”

“You want to go,” Nie Mingjue finishes and follows it up with a soft kiss.

“I was barely eighteen when we were married. I have seen nothing of this world. And there’s a pair of rogue cultivators in the city, who said they’d take me with them if I want. And I want, Mingjue, I want to go out and experience all of that.”

“You don’t have to argue with me,” Nie Mingjue says with a small smile and puts his thumb to the corner of Jiang Cheng’s mouth. “I love you, too. You can go wherever you want to.”

“But I will come back. I promise I will!” Jiang Cheng tells him and Nie Mingjue nods, even though he knows better.

Jiang Cheng might say that right now, and he might even mean it, too, but Nie Mingjue has experienced life outside of this city, outside of this marriage. His time away will change Jiang Cheng and he might find that Nie Mingjue no longer fits him when—if—he comes back.

“How about this,” Nie Mingjue says and moves his hand to cup Jiang Cheng’s cheek in it. “I’ll keep a lantern lit for you, so you’ll always find your way home.”

It’s stupid, Nie Mingjue knows it, because by the time Jiang Cheng will be able to see the lantern, he is already mostly home, but he can’t help himself. “And when your parents are here, I’ll extinguish it so you know to stay away,” he adds and it startles a laugh out of Jiang Cheng.

“Okay,” he softly agrees and turns his head into Nie Mingjue’s hand. “And I’ll come back.”

It sounds like a promise, but Nie Mingjue doesn’t dare to trust it.

~*~*~

“Which one of your poor disciples has the duty to keep the lantern lit?” Jiang Cheng asks on his very first visit back.

He looks good; like life itself and Nie Mingjue has to admit that life on the road seems to be good for Jiang Cheng.

“Or is it like a punishment for them?”

“What are you even talking about?” Nie Mingjue asks with a small frown. “I keep the lantern lit. It’s my husband it’s supposed to guide home, so it’s my duty to look after it.”

“Oh,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and a second later Nie Mingjue finds himself with an armful of Jiang Cheng. “I miss you when I’m away,” Jiang Cheng says and it sounds like a confession.

Nie Mingjue swallows his bitter reply—but not enough to want to stay—and instead simply hugs him close.

“I miss you, too,” he admits into Jiang Cheng’s hair and they stay like that for a long time.

Two days later, Jiang Cheng leaves again.

~*~*~

“What are you doing here, Wanyin?” Nie Mingjue hisses and pulls Jiang Cheng into an empty room. “Your parents are here.”

“I know, I saw that the lantern was extinguished,” Jiang Cheng reassuringly gives back and moves his hands over Nie Mingjue’s arms. “But I wanted to see you.”

“You’re an idiot,” Nie Mingjue mutters and Jiang Cheng grins at him.

That must be a recent development, Nie Mingjue thinks, because Jiang Cheng never grinned like that before. Nie Mingjue wonders where he learned it and who teased it out of him first and he can’t deny that he’s filled with jealousy at the thought.

He will still not ask Jiang Cheng to stay.

“But I’m still your idiot,” Jiang Cheng gives back, more confidently than Nie Mingjue has ever seen him and a second later Jiang Cheng pulls him in for a kiss.

It seems like the Jiang delegation will have to wait a little while longer.

~*~*~

It goes on like this for almost two years. There’s no schedule to Jiang Cheng’s returns and he doesn’t write to Nie Mingjue much. The worry for his husband sits deep, especially when word of a dangerous night hunt reaches him, but somehow Jiang Cheng always makes it back to him.

“You know you don’t have to come back if you don’t want to, right?” Nie Mingjue asks one night, when Jiang Cheng is safe and sound in his arms, and Nie Mingjue can almost feel how Jiang Cheng frowns.

“But I want to come back,” he says, sounding confused about this topic.

He wants to come back, but he never wants to stay. Nie Mingjue refuses to let that hurt him more than it already does.

“You always can,” he whispers and hugs Jiang Cheng close.

Maybe one day it will be enough for him to want to stay.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng arrives back in Qinghe four days after he left and the only reason Nie Mingjue can think of is that he’s hurt.

Or that he’s finally here to tell Nie Mingjue that he’s not going to come back at all.

“Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue asks in alarm, because he sweeps into his office with an urgency that Nie Mingjue doesn’t know from him.

“I’m here,” Jiang Cheng says and doesn’t stop in his advance until he crashes into Nie Mingjue. “I’m here.”

“I can see that,” Nie Mingjue gives back, still confused about this, but he hugs his husband back, because what else is he going to do.

“No, I mean—” Jiang Cheng starts and pushes away from Nie Mingjue so he can take his face into his hands. “I’m here to stay. I’m here, my soul, I’m here.”

“What?” Nie Mingjue chokes out, because this is not what he expected.

Jiang Cheng always leaves again and he never wants to stay.

“I went out again but this time it didn’t feel right,” Jiang Cheng explains. “The only thought on my mind was that I want to come back home, back to you. No night hunt could interest me, every inn was below my standard, because you weren’t in it. I’m done living outside of this, and I am so done of living without you.”

Jiang Cheng smiles slightly at him and Nie Mingjue realizes with a start that he looks scared.

“If you’ll take me back, of course,” he adds, his voice barely above a whisper and Nie Mingjue immediately nods.

“I never let you go,” he admits. “This has always been your home and I have always been waiting for you,” he confesses, because now he can without making Jiang Cheng feel guilty over it and Jiang Cheng beams at him.

“I love you. I love you even more than before,” he says and Nie Mingjue believes him.

His time on the streets might have changed Jiang Cheng but that part has always stayed the same, despite Nie Mingjue’s worries.

“I love you,” Nie Mingjue whispers, too afraid to break this precious moment, and Jiang Cheng gently wipes the tears away that spill over. “I have missed you so much.”

“I’m here now,” Jiang Cheng promises and softly kisses him. “And now I can be a good husband to you.”

“You always have been,” Nie Mingjue tells him, because Jiang Cheng needs to know that.

“Well, then I’ll be an even better one now,” Jiang Cheng decides with a laugh and Nie Mingjue loves him so much, he would let him leave a thousand times over if it would make him happy.

But luckily staying with Nie Mingjue is all Jiang Cheng needs for that.

Nie Huaisang doesn’t need the encouragement. He’ll say what he has to say and then he’ll leave again.

“No,” Nie Huaisang says, and comes closer to wave the piece of paper directly into Nie Mingjue’s face. “Explain.”

“You said you don’t care about my expenses. Then don’t care about them,” Nie Mingjue says with a sigh, because he knows what this is about already and he really doesn’t care.

It’s his money and he can do whatever the fuck he wants with it.

“But this is—“ Nie Huaisang seems to be struggling for words.

“My money, my decision,” Nie Mingjue helpfully chimes in and Nie Huaisang huffs and puffs in outrage.

It’s rather cute, not that Nie Mingjue would ever say that out loud.

“But you booked that hotel for ten years in advance,” he yells out and Nie Mingjue rolls his eyes.

“So?” he asks, damn well knowing that he went overboard, but he wants to do this for Jiang Cheng.

He repeatedly said how much he enjoyed their little stay in the hotel, and Nie Mingjue would book it for them every other weekend if he thought he could get away with this. But since he can’t, he thought this will have to do.

But apparently he can’t even get away with a yearly visit.

“Da-ge! You don’t even know if you’ll still be with Jiang Cheng ten years from now! No offense, he’s my best friend and all, but he’s not easy to be with, not even as a friend. It must be even worse as a boyfriend. What if you break up in three months?”

“First of all, Wanyin is perfectly easy to be around,” Nie Mingjue says, finally looking at Nie Huaisang, even thought it’s in outrage. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Clearly you didn’t fight yet,” Nie Huaisang grumbles and Nie Mingjue narrows his eyes at him.

“We did fight already, if you have to know.” They even fought in that hotel, not that Nie Mingjue is going to tell Nie Huaisang about that. “It’s not a reason to break up. We fought, we made up, it was forgotten. I don’t understand what the big deal about this is. You think I want a relationship like Xichen and Guangyao, who smile all the damn time even though they would rather scream at each other? I prefer a good, short fight. At least afterwards we can move on.”

“Huh,” Nie Huaisang says but then he shakes his head. “Don’t distract me! That’s not even the point!”

“Then what is the goddamn point?” Nie Mingjue asks and rolls his eyes.

“That is so much like Wanyin, it’s disturbing,” Nie Huaisang whispers and then shakes his head. “The point is that you can’t book this hotel ten years in advance!”

“Of course I can,” Nie Mingjue says with a frown. “I did, didn’t I?”

“Da-ge! What if you break up? This hotel has a ninety percent cancellation fee!”

“So I’m not going to cancel, I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“You could break up!” Nie Huaisang yells at him and Nie Mingjue shakes his head.

“Only if he wants to. I’m in. This is it. I’m going to marry him, there will be no break-up at all,” Nie Mingjue confidently says and clearly takes all the wind out of Nie Huaisang’s sails.

“You’re going to marry him? Did you propose already?”

“Don’t be stupid, we’ve only been together for a few months,” Nie Mingjue says and he thoroughly enjoys the scandalized look on Nie Huaisang’s face.

“I hate you. Don’t come crying to me if you have to cancel all of these bookings and you lose a ton of money,” he tells him and prompts walks out of the apartment again.

Nie Mingjue is not worried. They will still be together ten years from now, and he’ll still want to make Jiang Cheng happy and relaxed. It will be fine.

~*~*~

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng says, staring up at the same hotel they’ve been staying in for the last three years now.

“My heart?” Nie Mingjue gives back, taking Jiang Cheng’s hand in his and pulling him inside the building.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t get to say what he wants to say for a while longer, though, because they are busy checking in and soon enough they are standing in the same room they are always staying in.

“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng says again with a sigh and now that catches Nie Mingjue’s attention.

“What?” he asks, worried that something is wrong.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Jiang Cheng says with a wince, “but why are we always staying here during our vacations?” he wants to know and Nie Mingjue frowns.

“Because you like it,” he says, confused as to why Jiang Cheng would even ask that question.

“Okay, but maybe I would like other places, too? Maybe you would like to see other places as well?” he asks, and it only makes Nie Mingjue more confused.

“But you said it the first time we were here. That you loved it here. I booked this hotel in advance for years, so we could always come back on our anniversary.”

“Mingjue!” Jiang Cheng yells out, but soon enough his shock morphs into laughter and he almost doubles over with how much he laughs.

“What is going on?” Nie Mingjue asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest, suddenly self-conscious about this.

“My soul,” Jiang Cheng wheezes out and comes closer so he can clutch to Nie Mingjue’s arm while he still gathers himself together. “My soul,” he says again once he’s a little bit composed. “I love you, but you can be so stupid.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nie Mingjue sniffs out and Jiang Cheng leans up to kiss him.

“You’re a little dummy,” he fondly says. “I loved that first vacation so much because I was with you. Because you were there and we were together. It barely had anything to do with this hotel. I would love it anywhere with you. Even camping in the woods would be great with you, because you are there,” he explains and Nie Mingjue can feel himself flush a little bit.

“Oh, I see,” he whispers and Jiang Cheng shakes his head with a smile.

“I would actually love to see some other cities, every now and then. Change it up a little bit, you know? How long have you booked this in advance?”

“Years, maybe?” Nie Mingjue says, no longer counting how many years in advance he has been doing this.

He doesn’t really understand why Jiang Cheng’s face goes all soft at that.

“You were really sure about us, huh?”

“Of course,” Nie Mingjue immediately says. “You’re it for me. I’m going to marry you and then we’ll grow old together,” Nie Mingjue says with absolute confidence, because there is no other future out there he even wants to contemplate.

“I see,” Jiang Cheng whispers and hugs Nie Mingjue close. “I want to marry you, too. But only if we get to see something else during our holidays,” he then adds and Nie Mingjue laughs.

“Whatever you want, my heart,” he agrees and he doesn’t even think about the stupid cancellation fee.

If Jiang Cheng wants to see something else, then Nie Mingjue will make it happen, no matter what. And besides. Nie Huaisang could do with a holiday every now and then again as well.

“I told you, she hugged me without my consent and I nearly threw her into the nearest wall for it. Why do you always believe the worst gossip? And then coming from Old Man Yao on top of that?”

“Maybe because he’s the only one telling me shit,” Jiang Cheng almost yells, but he knows that they are being ridiculous. It’s not like he doesn’t believe Nie Mingjue and it’s not like he would ever actually cheat on him, either.

“It’s Old Man Yao,” Nie Mingjue stresses. “He’s always saying shit. Now, can we please come back to this other problem?”

“Well, it’s our problem now,” Jiang Cheng says, challenging Nie Mingjue with a look.

“Wanyin, if I wanted to leave you alone, with the egg on top of it, then I would point out that between the two of us you are clearly the only one with any form of animal attached to your person that lays eggs. And might I remind you that there are two of them on you right now? But I’m not pointing that out, because I’m not an asshole and I’m not going to leave you with the goddamn egg,” Nie Mingjue shouts and it’s so stupid, so absolutely ridiculous what they are doing right now, what they are fighting over, that Jiang Cheng burst out into laughter.

“Wanyin!”

“No, I know, I’m sorry,” Jiang Cheng says between bouts of laughter. “It’s just—it’s an egg, Mingjue. An egg. What’s it gonna do? Demand child support?”

“It’s probably going to hatch at one point,” Nie Mingjue grumbles, but there’s a smile playing around his mouth, too. “Maybe we should go back to Lotus Pier to make sure it doesn’t break out here or something.”

“Oh, now you’re inviting yourself into my home. First a hug with a stranger and now this? You’re awfully bold, Nie-zongzhu,” Jiang Cheng teases him, his anger of the incident all forgotten.

He can’t even remember why he believed Old Man Yao in the first place.

“Fine, be like that,” Nie Mingjue says and then carefully takes the egg into his hands. “It probably needs to be kept warm. Do we even want it to hatch? I guess we do, huh?” he mutters to himself and Jiang Cheng watches him fondly.

“I apologize,” he says, tired of being away from him and Nie Mingjue looks back at him.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, this is neither the first nor will it be the last fight we have over totally stupid things. We simply have to accept that this is who we are now,” Nie Mingjue says and carefully cradles the egg to his chest so he can reach out for Jiang Cheng’s hand.

“Are you still bleeding?” Jiang Cheng asks, taking Nie Mingjue’s hand to inspect the cut on it.

“Ah, bullshit. It’s a papercut, nothing more,” Nie Mingjue says but Jiang Cheng has to make sure for himself that it’s nothing more serious than that.

“We’ll get our cuts cleaned once we’re back. Now come on, the egg probably doesn’t like it out here.”

“Ah, you’re already getting attached,” Nie Mingjue teases him and Jiang Cheng sends him a very pointed look, seeing it’s currently Nie Mingjue who is cradling the egg to his chest like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

He very wisely doesn’t comment on it, though.

~*~*~

“Congratulations, you are parents,” Jiang Cheng’s healer tells them in his driest voice possible and Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue share a look.

“What now?”

“This eggs holds both of your spiritual signatures, so it’s undeniable that you are its creators. What it will eventually hatch into, I have no idea. I have never seen anything like it.”

“So what’s going to happen?” Nie Mingjue asks and Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to trade places with him when the healer almost kills him with his look.

“I have never seen anything like it. What in this sentence makes you believe I know what’s going to happen?” he gives back and Nie Mingjue takes a step back.

Good instinct, Jiang Cheng has to give him that.

“I would treat it like any egg. Keep it warm, keep it dry and safe, and then we’ll just have to wait and see,” the healer advises them and Jiang Cheng nods.

They can totally take turns carrying the egg, no problem.

It’s a bigger problem as they originally thought, mostly because they are afraid of breaking it, but one of them always keeps it on their person at all times.

It takes three weeks for something to happen, though.

“Mingjue!” Jiang Cheng yells across the trainings field, “the egg!”

It’s enough to get Nie Mingjue moving, and Jiang Cheng decides not to glare at the disciples who snicker behind Nie Mingjue’s back.

“What’s happening?”

“There’s a crack!” Jiang Cheng says as they rush back to their room and Jiang Cheng is worried.

He thought he took good care of the egg but what if he did something wrong? What if he damaged it somehow?

“It’ll be alright,” Nie Mingjue says, clearly reading his mood and Jiang Cheng gives him a tight smile.

When they get back to the room there are more cracks on it, so clearly it’s just about to hatch.

They argue over whether they should help it along or not, but by the time they come to a conclusion their little baby snake is already born.

And a snake it is. A tiny snake, it’s body green with brown dots sprinkled all over it. It’s kind of adorable, Jiang Cheng has to admit.

“Well, that’s certainly your kid,” Nie Mingjue drily says, his eyes on the snake and Jiang Cheng huffs.

“It has your Sect’s colours. It’s clearly just as much your kid as it is mine. You’re not getting out of this. You really can’t deny that it’s your kid, too.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Nie Mingjue says and takes his eyes off the snake, that’s just confusedly wriggling around for now. “Listen here, Wanyin,” he says and turns Jiang Cheng towards him. “You don’t get to say shit like that. I’m going to marry you, so you better stop saying shit like that.”

“Oh, now he wants to marry me,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, but he’s absolutely delighted by this turn of events. “Now that we have a snake baby, he is suddenly keen to take responsibility.”

“I would have taken responsibility all the way back when we first kissed, but you wouldn’t let me,” Nie Mingjue says with an eyeroll and Jiang Cheng wonders if that is his influence. “Now you don’t get out of it again. That’s our kid, snake or not, and you don’t get a choice anymore. Huaisang has the auspicious date ready anyway, so this is happening. We’re so getting married.”

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng chokes out, tears clouding his vision but he’s so, so happy that he doesn’t even care.

“That was easier than expected,” Nie Mingjue muses and Jiang Cheng really has had enough of him talking so he fists his hands in his robe and pulls him into a kiss.

It’s a good thing they have their eyes closed for it, because there’s a bang and a blinding light and when they blink their eyes open again the snake is gone.

Instead, there’s a human baby staring at them.

“Aaah-baaa,” it gurgles and Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue share a look.

“Not so much a snake anymore,” Jiang Cheng eventually says and Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“Still ours though,” he says and then promptly picks the baby up. “No getting out of it, my point stands.”

“I wouldn’t even think of it,” Jiang Cheng whispers back, putting his hand to the baby’s back and he has no clue what happened or how they did it, but he guesses they must be blessed.

And he will never let either of them go.

“Or maybe I’m just laughing at you,” Jiang Cheng shoots back and his smile widens when Nie Mingjue laughs at that.

“Would serve him right,” Nie Mingjue laughs out.

“No, no, that smile was too sweet for that,” Mo Xuanyu now chimes in as well and Jiang Cheng feels ganged-up on.

But instead of that making his hackles rise, he just laughs as well. It’s all in good faith here, and he doesn’t have to fear accusations or harsh words.

“You’re too sweet,” Jiang Cheng says in an absolutely childish manner and to top it off he also sticks his tongue out to Mo Xuanyu.

“Hey, that’s my boyfriend, you can’t have him,” Nie Huaisang protests and almost lunges over the table to grab Mo Xuanyu.

“Good thing I don’t want him,” Jiang Cheng says right before he stuffs some rice in his mouth.

Dinners are always chaotic like that and while in the beginning it was overwhelming for Jiang Cheng, he now loves them.

“But seriously, if there is someone, you’d tell us, right?” Nie Huaisang asks once he’s back in his own seat.

“Maybe,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug.

“Why only maybe?” Mo Xuanyu now inquires as well and even Nie Mingjue seems interested in his answer.

“Well, depends on if I think I have a chance,” Jiang Cheng honestly gives back. “There’s no use in pining over a boy if I don’t stand a chance with him.”

Nie Huaisang blinks at him.

“But where’s the fun in it if you can’t even whine about it?”

Jiang Cheng shrugs again.

“I don’t need to whine about it. I’d rather keep it to myself.”

And his therapist. His therapist knows about his feelings, because it was quite the problem for Jiang Cheng for a long while. He was worried it’s just a co-dependency or something, that he fell in love with Nie Mingjue because he was nice to him, but they worked through that and now Jiang Cheng can honestly say that he’s in love with Nie Mingjue for all the right reasons.

And that’s totally okay, even though Jiang Cheng is sure that Nie Mingjue will never see anything more in him than another little brother.

Which is also totally okay for Jiang Cheng.

“Well, Huaisang, maybe you should take a hint from that and keep every other thought to yourself, too,” Nie Mingjue chimes in, making Nie Huaisang splutter in indignation.

Jiang Cheng laughs along with Mo Xuanyu and he thinks that this is already pretty perfect.

Even though he can’t reach across the table and hold Nie Mingjue’s hand.

~*~*~

When Jiang Cheng comes home, he’s surprised to find it empty. Nie Huaisang and Mo Xuanyu are supposed to be home right now, and Nie Mingjue will surely arrive in a few minutes, but it’s not like Jiang Cheng minds an empty house anymore.

He used to dread it, coming home to an empty, cold building, but even with the absence of the other’s this house feels homely and warm and Jiang Cheng doesn’t feel at all lonely.

Jiang Cheng just vanished into his room to change into more comfortable clothes when he hears the front door.

He sticks his head out of his room, ready to call out to whoever just arrived but when he hears Nie Mingjue’s voice, he falls silent.

“I will not tell him, Huaisang!” Nie Mingjue hotly says and Jiang Cheng frowns.

It seems like he is on the phone because Jiang Cheng can’t hear an answer from Nie Huaisang, but Nie Mingjue huffs in anger.

“And then what, huh? Absolutely not!”

Another silence. Jiang Cheng knows he should either get back into his room and pretend that he never heard anything at all, or come out and greet Nie Mingjue to let him know that he’s not alone but something keeps him glued to the spot.

“What if Wanyin doesn’t understand?” Nie Mingjue asks and now there is no chance that Jiang Cheng is going to interrupt him, he’s way too curious for that.

“What if he can’t look past it? This is his refuge and I refuse to take this home from him.”

Jiang Cheng frowns at that as a sinking feeling threatens to swallow him whole.

“I’m not going to—Huaisang, that would be betraying his trust! Never suggest anything like that again!”

Jiang Cheng does not want to listen to this anymore—and he guesses the feeling of despair is what he gets for eavesdropping in the first place—but he also can’t bring himself to move.

“No, Huaisang! It could change everything and if he can’t ignore it—if he can’t trust me again after telling him then I’ll have destroyed the one good place for him. I would rather die than do that.”

Jiang Cheng blinks, and he wonders what Nie Mingjue could have done that is so horrible, that is going to make Jiang Cheng turn away from him.

“This discussion is over!” Nie Mingjue decides suddenly and apparently hangs up because he doesn’t say anything else.

Jiang Cheng debates just ignoring this; if he doesn’t know, it can’t hurt him after all. But now that he knows that something is wrong, he simply has to know. The uncertainty will eat away at him forever if he doesn’t get an answer to what Nie Mingjue did and so he squares his shoulders and walks towards the kitchen where he can hear Nie Mingjue.

Jiang Cheng’s heart is beating a painfully fast rhythm in his chest and his hands shake, but he has to know. He will ask and they will find a way through this, because Jiang Cheng cannot stand to lose another family.

“Mingjue,” he says and watches how Nie Mingjue jumps in surprise.

“Wanyin,” he says, but he sounds panicked. “I didn’t know you are home.”

“Clearly,” Jiang Cheng can’t help but to say and he can see that Nie Mingjue instantly understands that he heard everything. “Tell me what you mean, Mingjue.”

“Wanyin, I—” he starts but Jiang Cheng can tell that he’s going to look for excuses and he won’t have it.

“Just tell me, Mingjue. We can—I mean, how bad can it be, right?” he asks with a small laugh, because there are at least a dozen bad scenarios in his head brewing at this moment. “If you’re—talking to my parents you should let me know. If it’s a work thing, then that’s fine, I understand but if it’s something else—just tell me, alright?”

Jiang Cheng is close to begging Nie Mingjue because he needs to know, he needs to know if they can fix this or if his world is being shattered again.

“I’m not talking to your parents, Wanyin, I would never do that, especially not behind your back” Nie Mingjue immediately tells him and he comes closer.

He clearly wants to reach out for Jiang Cheng but thinks better of it in the last moment and Jiang Cheng closes the distance between them so he can fist his hands in Nie Mingjue’s shirt.

“Then just tell me what’s going on,” he demands and Nie Mingjue sighs.

His face goes all sad and soft and it’s almost too much for Jiang Cheng to stand right now.

“Wanyin,” he says again and Jiang Cheng shakes his hands.

“Mingjue, tell me right now what you did!”

“I fell in love with you,” Nie Mingjue gently tells him and removes Jiang Cheng’s hands from his shirt before he takes a step back. “I love you. I’m not going to say it again, and nothing will change, alright? I would never do anything to misuse your trust, please believe me. It doesn’t have to mean anything at all and I hope you can look past it.”

Jiang Cheng feels like he can’t breathe, his heart in his throat and his stomach doing somersaults and he’s so happy he could cry, but he sees the genuine worry on Nie Mingjue’s face and he has to rectify that immediately.

This is not something to be scared of.

Jiang Cheng moves forward, putting his hands on Nie Mingjue’s shoulders and he leans up on his toes until his lips brush against Nie Mingjue’s.

He thinks that’s a pretty clear answer, but when he moves back, something in Nie Mingjue’s face twists and he puts his hands to Jiang Cheng’s elbows and gently moves him away.

“You don’t have to do that,” Nie Mingjue whispers. “There are no obligations here. I’m not going to demand anything of you, so you don’t have to be afraid. Nothing will change; your stay here is still unconditional and you don’t have to pay me back.”

Jiang Cheng blinks at that, before anger bubbles up inside of him. But there’s a rule in this house and Jiang Cheng will obey it.

“Room, now,” he snaps and Nie Mingjue flinches at his tone but Jiang Cheng doesn’t wait for an answer.

He storms off, certain that Nie Mingjue will follow him and indeed he does. When he closes the door to the room behind him, he seems scared, but Jiang Cheng doesn’t let him wait too long.

“You absolute fucking bafoon,” Jiang Cheng snaps and Nie Mingjue’s eyes go wide. “I did not spend several hours with my therapist exploring if I was only attracted to you because you were kind to me or because I felt like I needed to repay you for you to make this an issue now. I did not go through all of that for you to not believe me right now!”

“Wanyin—”

“No, shut the hell up! I get that you’re concerned, but goddamit, Mingjue, I’ve had a crush on you sine I was a teenager and I know you never noticed my poor attempts at flirting but to have you not even believe me now—that’s just too much!”

“What are you saying?” Nie Mingjue haltingly asks and Jiang Cheng glares at him.

“I kissed you. What do you think I’m saying?”

“I’m not—going to assume anything anymore,” Nie Mingjue decides and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“I love you, too, you idiot,” he tells him. “And now will you let me kiss you, for god’s sake?”

The words barely left Jiang Cheng’s mouth before Nie Mingjue crushes into him, his lips hot on Jiang Cheng’s.

“Finally,” Jiang Cheng pants when they eventually part and Nie Mingjue cups his cheek in his hand.

“Is this really fine? No misplaced sense of guilt or that you have to repay me or that you can’t say no to me out of fear?” Nie Mingjue still asks, but he keeps stroking his thumb over Jiang Cheng’s cheek and Jiang Cheng nuzzles into his hand.

“This is so much more than fine,” he tells him. “I love you. I worked it out with my therapist, I promise. None of those reasons you just said apply. I’m in love with you, pure and simple, okay?”

“Okay,” Nie Mingjue says with a smile and leans in for another kiss. “Do you—what happens in the room stays in the room,” he reminds Jiang Cheng then. “Do you want us to keep this a secret?”

“Fuck no,” Jiang Cheng hotly gives back. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I want to let the entire world know that I bagged you.”

“You have been spending too much time with Xuanyu,” Nie Mingjue says with a pained grimace and Jiang Cheng laughs.

He doesn’t even stop when Nie Mingjue kisses the laughter right out of his mouth.

“Maybe, yes,” Jiang Cheng whispers. “But from now on I’m going to spend all my time with you.”

“Deal,” Nie Mingjue agrees and pulls Jiang Cheng out of the room, holding his hand the entire time.

Jiang Cheng can certainly get used to that.

“I’ll make sure to write him once I find it,” he promises Jiang Yanli, who nods, clearly satisfied with his answer.

“Alright, then I’ll leave you and your not-boyfriend alone for now,” she tells him with a wink and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” he gives back and he wonders why no one believes him when he says it.

“Sure he’s not,” Jiang Yanli sing-songs and walks over to the door. “Bye, A-Cheng’s not-boyfriend,” she says with a laugh and then leaves a spluttering Nie Huaisang in the hallway.

“Why is that still going on?” Nie Huaisang demands to know once he comes into the living-room. “Why is no one believing us when we say that we are not actually boyfriends?”

“I have no goddamn clue,” Jiang Cheng sighs and lets his head fall back, closing his eyes. “But I hate it.”

“Are you alright?” Nie Huaisang asks, putting his blessedly cool hands over Jiang Cheng’s eyes and it’s chasing away the headache he didn’t even notice yet.

“No,” Jiang Cheng admits. “It’s just one of those days.”

“Where you’re trying to figure out what you’re waiting for?”

“Yes,” he agrees. “I mean—why am I still here? I get why you’re still here, but why me? I have everyone back and they are all happy, without any drama in their lives and I just don’t get it,” he rambles and Nie Huaisang makes an understanding noise but it’s not like he has an answer for Jiang Cheng either.

Neither of them know why it’s only them who cultivated to immortality, and it’s not like anyone has given them any answers either. The only clue they found about this during their centuries and millennials of searching for answers is that they will re-enter the circle of reincarnation once they find what they are waiting for.

It’s pretty easy to figure out what Nie Huaisang is waiting for, especially since in all their different lives they have never once encountered Nie Mingjue but Jiang Cheng can’t say the same for himself.

He tried a dozen different things over his different lives; he made sure he and Wei Wuxian stayed friends, he spent one dedicated life to be Lan Wangji’s friend, he helped Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan get married and be happy and have Jin Ling and this is not the first life where all of this is true.

Jiang Cheng has everything he missed; even his parents are still around and surprisingly enough he’s on good-ish terms with both of them.

There is nothing he is missing and yet he is still as immortal as he’s been for centuries now.

“Maybe you’re waiting for him, too,” Nie Huaisang says and Jiang Cheng sighs.

He doesn’t outright deny it, because it could be after all, but—“I just don’t understand why I would.”

It’s not like he and Nie Mingjue had a good relationship in their first life. Tragedy struck too soon for them to form anything at all.

“You did propose a courtship with him,” Nie Huaisang reminds him and Jiang Cheng sighs again.

“I did, but more for political reasons, you know that. Your Sect was strong, even after the Sunshot Campaign and it would have been good for Yunmeng Jiang. And besides. It’s not like I got an answer.”

“Aw, Jiang-xiong, come on, you can admit it,” Nie Huaisang teases him and climbs over the back of the couch so he can poke at Jiang Cheng’s face better. “You had a crush on my brother. It wasn’t all political.”

“And what about it?” Jiang Cheng gives back as he slaps Nie Huaisang’s hand away. “Who didn’t have a crush on your brother. And if this is the logic you want to go with, then it’s just as plausible that I’m waiting for Xichen.”

“You do know that he cultivated to immortality in his seclusion, right?” Nie Huaisang asks and he’s serious right now.

Jiang Cheng knows Nie Huaisang well enough by now to know that while he doesn’t really regret his actions back in their very first life he does feel bad for Lan Xichen.

“I went to see him a few years back,” Jiang Cheng admits. “Or maybe decades? I can’t remember at this point.”

“Oh.” Nie Huaisang shuffles down the couch, just enough to put his head in Jiang Cheng’s lap and it’s only when Jiang Cheng starts to card his fingers through his hair that he speaks again. “How is he doing?”

“Not so well, I think,” Jiang Cheng softly says. “I told him that we encountered Meng Yao a few times, but it didn’t seem like he’s interested in hearing this. I think—at this point he’s just punishing himself.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for da-ge, too.”

“Maybe,” Jiang Cheng agrees, because it is possible. “If we ever do end up finding him, we’ll have to bring him there.”

“Sure,” Nie Huaisang agrees. “Do you think—he’ll remember?”

Not everyone they have encountered remembered their first life, or even any that followed after and it differs from reincarnation to reincarnation.

“Does it really matter?” Jiang Cheng gives back.

“No,” Nie Huaisang decides.

Jiang Cheng hums, because he didn’t expect anything else and then they fall into silence.

Jiang Cheng honestly dreads the day they find Nie Mingjue because if Nie Huaisang is wrong and Nie Mingjue is not actually what Jiang Cheng is waiting for then he’ll be all alone in the world, and he’s not sure he could take it.

But even thinking that feels mean towards both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng pushes those thoughts away.

It’s not like he has any influence over this anyway.

~*~*~

In the end, Nie Mingjue finds them. They are just on their way back to their apartment, bickering over the groceries, when it happens.

“Huaisang? Wanyin?”

They whirl around only to come face to face with Nie Mingjue.

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang cries out, dropping all of their groceries and flinging himself at Nie Mingjue. “Da-ge, you’re here!”

“Di-di,” Nie Mingjue chokes out, burying his face in Nie Huaisang’s hair and Jiang Cheng wonders if he only remembered his past life now that he saw them or if he knew all along.

“What is happening?” he asks, and Jiang Cheng figures it’s the first.

He looks good, he has to give him that; clad in modern clothes like they all are these days and that still somehow strike Jiang Cheng as strange, but his hair is still braided with the distinctive Qinghe Nie braids.

If he didn’t remember before, then clearly his subconscious did.

“I have missed you so much,” Nie Huaisang sobs out and Jiang Cheng turns around, busying himself with picking up the groceries that are littered all over the floor now.

“We should move this to my apartment,” Jiang Cheng says, trying his best to be happy for Nie Huaisang instead of bitter.

Nie Huaisang is going to die in this lifetime and Jiang Cheng will have to go on alone.

“Sure,” Nie Mingjue mutters, clearly still shocked by what is happening but Jiang Cheng hears them both follow him.

Nie Huaisang babbles excitedly at Nie Mingjue, bringing him up to speed on everything that happened after he died and Jiang Cheng tries to blend it out.

That was his most miserable life and he doesn’t want to be reminded too much of it, even though it’s long past and he never allowed it to be that bad again.

The Nie brothers keep up a constant chatter in Jiang Cheng’s back until he lets them all into his apartment and then Nie Mingjue reaches out to grab his elbow.

“It’s good to see you, too, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng even believes him.

He wants to give the sentiment back but when he turns around he catches Nie Mingjue’s eyes and everything comes to a stop for a heart-stopping moment.

“I would have said yes, you know, if death hadn’t robbed me of that opportunity,” Nie Mingjue tells him, his voice shaking the slightest bit and Jiang Cheng can almost feel how his immortality is leaving him.

“I’ve waited an eternity for you,” Jiang Cheng accuses him but he’s still shaken from the revelation that it was indeed Nie Mingjue he was waiting for all this time.

“And we’re getting our chance now,” Nie Mingjue immediately promises him, making Jiang Cheng honest to god flush, even though he thought himself to be long past that.

“Oh, fuck no,” Nie Huaisang whispers in the background and when Jiang Cheng manages to tear his eyes away from Nie Mingjue he has to laugh at the comical face he makes.

“You told me again and again that maybe your brother is who I’m waiting for. And now you’re saying that?”

“I didn’t mean—I didn’t consider the consequences!” Nie Huaisang wails and slaps his hands over his eyes. “I don’t want to see this!”

“Too bad,” Nie Mingjue says and smiles at Jiang Cheng. “Because it’s happening.”

Jiang Cheng is helpless against that smile and he figures it’s only fair. He took chances with Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji and even his parents; he made sure his sister is beyond happy and that nothing bad happens to any of them.

And now it’s time that he gets his chance.

“I’ll go back and tell da-ge to fly faster,” Nie Huaisang says, interrupting Jiang Cheng’s daydream of a nap—the closest he gets to one, these days—and turns around on his heels.

“What? Huaisang, come back!” Jiang Cheng hisses after him, too afraid to raise his voice any more than that but Nie Huaisang is only waving his hand over his head as he walks away.

Jiang Cheng is left staring after him.

“Fuck, what is he going to do?” Jiang Cheng whispers, completely horrified, because he doesn’t need Nie Mingjue to see him like this.

His intention was to hand Jin Ling off to a healer to greet Nie Mingjue and his people and then show them their rooms before everyone retires for the day and Jiang Cheng could go back to pick up Jin Ling again.

He doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, even though he did make sure he looks presentable.

“Oh no,” Jiang Cheng mutters when a lone figure appears on the sky.

It seems like Nie Mingjue is pushing himself to get to Lotus Pier as fast as he can, and Jiang Cheng will have words with Nie Huaisang when he sees him again.

How dare he make Nie Mingjue worry?

Nie Mingjue touches down a few feet away from Jiang Cheng but the sound of Baxia and his movement is enough to set off Jin Ling again.

Jiang Cheng honestly wonders if he doesn’t have a golden core already, because he simply cannot imagine how a person this small can make this much noise or keep going for days on end.

“Nie-zongzhu,” Jiang Cheng greets him, still, because he needs to be as polite as he can, and he can’t bow.

“None of that,” Nie Mingjue waves him off and then puts a big hand on Jin Ling’s back. “What seems to be the problem?” he asks and Jiang Cheng helplessly looks up at him.

“He’s just colicky, I’ve been told,” he whispers, barely audible over the cries and Jiang Cheng has to fight some tears himself.

He’s just so, so tired.

“Alright, give him here,” Nie Mingjue says, gently taking Jin Ling out of Jiang Cheng’s arms.

Jiang Cheng wants to fight him on that, because Jin Ling is no burden and he is perfectly capable of holding his nephew himself, but his arms are shaking, they are that tired and Jiang Cheng is aware that he can’t do anything in his state.

Nie Mingjue puts Jin Ling face down on his arm, his hand under his tummy and Jin Ling’s face almost smushed in his elbow and Jiang Cheng fears that Jin Ling is going to fall right off.

He never held Jin Ling like that, always too afraid to lose his grip if he doesn’t hold him pressed against his chest and seeing Nie Mingjue so casually do it gives him anxiety.

“There, there, little guy,” Nie Mingjue mutters and moves his arm slightly, stabilising Jin Ling with another hand to his back.

Jin Ling doesn’t outright stop crying—Jiang Cheng is not sure if his pride could have taken that hit—but he goes down to soft whimpers and sniffles and that is better than anything Jiang Cheng managed so far.

It’s enough to make him burst out into tears instead.

“Oh, dear,” Nie Mingjue says and cradles Jin Ling against his chest, so he has one hand free to pat Jiang Cheng’s head.

“I don’t mean to,” Jiang Cheng says between his tears. “I’m just so tired.”

“I get it,” Nie Mingjue reassures him. “Why don’t we sit down for a moment, huh?”

Jiang Cheng is pretty sure that Nie Mingjue meant somewhere inside, with a table or something, but he simply sits down right where he stands. He doesn’t care anymore.

“That bad?” Nie Mingjue asks as he crouches down next to him.

“He has been crying for three days now,” Jiang Cheng says, furiously wiping tears off his face. “I just want to sleep.”

“I remember that phase with Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue tells him. “My father and his mother were still around, though, so I only saw their exhausted faces in the mornings and they were doing it with two people. I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you.”

“So hard,” Jiang Cheng sobs out and then buries his face in his hands.

He doesn’t want Nie Mingjue to know this, he doesn’t even want to admit this, but right now Jiang Cheng feels like a child himself. And maybe he needs a little bit of comfort, too.

“It will get better, I promise. It usually doesn’t last for that long,” Nie Mingjue tries to reassure him, but three days already seems pretty long to Jiang Cheng.

“You don’t have to—I’m sorry,” Jiang Cheng gets out, even though he refuses to look at Nie Mingjue. “I’ll get a grip in a moment, I promise. I was prepared to receive you properly, I had it all planned out.”

“Wanyin, that’s okay,” Nie Mingjue says and finally sits down next to him. “This is actually pretty good,” he then says and it’s so out of left field that Jiang Cheng’s head snaps up.

“What about this is good?” he demands to know, because Jin Ling is still crying and he is crying and he really can’t see how any of this could be considered good.

“Listen, I don’t want you to make a decision right now, and we actually had a plan for this, leading up to it all subtly and shit, but. I’m here to propose a courtship between us.”

Jiang Cheng can only blink at that.

“A what?”

“A courtship. Between you and me, in case there was any confusion. It’s mostly political—for now, I hope—but I was scared that during this visit I would only get to meet Jiang-zongzhu. I mean, not that he’s a bad person or anything, but I’d like to get to know Wanyin as well, especially if you agree to the courtship, so—” he trails off, awkwardly shrugging with one shoulder, trying to hold Jin Ling as still as possible.

“A courtship,” Jiang Cheng whispers, wiping off some more tears. “After this display? You still want to propose a courtship?”

“Wanyin, what I just saw makes you human. It’s natural to cry and despair if your kid is crying all the damn time and no one is around to help. I would be worried if you took it all in stride, actually.”

“A courtship,” Jiang Cheng says again and now Nie Mingjue frowns at him.

“Did I break you? Are you okay?”

“I’m just—a courtship. Between you, an actual war hero and the most celebrated cultivator of our generation, and me, an orphan who lost everything and everyone and is now settled with a kid that isn’t even mine.”

Jiang Cheng really can’t wrap his head around it.

“Well, to me it’s a little bit different,” Nie Mingjue tells him and gently bumps their shoulders together. “To me it’s like this: I simply did what duty demanded. You on the other hand, rose above and beyond duty and managed the unthinkable: you survived the Wens, losing your home and your family, and having your core crushed, and still you strode up to the battlefield strong and ready, people following your call. You did the impossible; not only during the Sunshot Campaign, but also here. This was a husk a mere year ago. Now Lotus Pier is thriving again and everyone can see it will rise to it’s former glory soon enough.”

Jiang Cheng flushes bright red at those words.

“Shut up,” he hisses but Nie Mingjue only smiles at him.

“You did very well, Wanyin,” Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng shoots up to his feet.

He absolutely cannot stand hearing Nie Mingjue say these things about him.

“Give him here,” he snaps, snatching Jin Ling out of Nie Mingjue’s arms and he almost doesn’t care that it upsets Jin Ling again. “Someone will show you to your rooms,” he tells Nie Mingjue without meeting his eye and then he turns around on his heels.

“I’m looking forward to this courtship,” Nie Mingjue yells after him.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that quite yet,” Jiang Cheng yells back, but he has to admit that he is already charmed.

Not enough to give in though, not yet, but he guesses if Nie Mingjue’s visit continues like this, he’ll buckle soon enough.

“Yet is right,” Nie Mingjue replies and despite everything it brings a smile out on Jiang Cheng’s face.

He’s looking forward to getting to know Nie Mingjue better.