21M dealing with repeated push–pull breakup with avoidant ex (21F) and i really need advice. how do i fix this and is this even recoverable?
my ex and i had been in this push pull cycle for 8 months now ever since we confessed in april. she broke up with me after being in a situationship/relationship and all of these relationships lasted about 1 week while the situationshiop lasted a bit more than that 2 weeks or so. now she used to end things with me all the time saying that i deserve more and that she has past trauma etc and at one point its really made my mental health get fucked. everytime she used to breakup with me for no absolute reason she used to say fucked up things to me and said that shes lost feelings an this happened everytime. while her best freind used to tell her to just date me and she was mostly on my side through it all. now we were in this realtiionship again in october which ended in 2 days because she accused me of checking some other girl out and mind you i did not do that. her own bsf told her she prolly overanalyzed and she came back 2 days later saying she wanted to get back together and i accepted again. this time it lasted 4 days then she ended eveyrting because it was getting tom uch for her again - she saw a dream about me which was bad and said that she has a connection with dreams. ive always been patient with her because i never wanted her to get the idea that hses unlovable and i watned to show that i am here for her throught everything and i was. i still want to. we decided to remain friends and shes tried to cut me off alot of times too but then always came back too. in november she became friends with this other guy again who she was freinds with in first year(we're in third year now) she said that theyre jus freinds and i saw ther ditching me for this other guy, and it got progressively worse. she alwasy said we were friends ans said she lost feelings for me etc but ik she was lying and i asked her if she was over me and she said 61%. which is absolute bull if you think about it. we even went on a slight friends date(not a date date) i gave her flowers too which she hesitated but then took. but then she started ditiching me for htis guy again and i lost it and i made the biggest mistake ever. my first outright mistake because i had enough. i was too hurt and jealosuy too over and i just showed her the middle finger and then on text said that shes just seeking mael validation. a few days later i apolagized and she started hanging with this other dude alot but still kept justifying that theyre just freinds but they were hanging out alot and she was staying back on campus to hang with him. we fought alot on text and she sadi shes done witht me and all and yes i get i made a mistake but i didnt mean it. i apolagized alot and now were in this 3 weeks no contact and its semester break, exams just ended yesterday. idk what to do and all i do now is pray. she blocked me and unblocked me multipel times too. everytime we fought she blocked me and then unblocked me 2 days later on her own. idk what to do anymore and i love her alot and ik this is toxic but i want to fix this. someone pls advice and help me. id really appreciate it. im in a state where i cry almost every night becasue of the whole thing and how much ive been hurt and how much i want to fix things with her and htis jealousy becasue of the other dude.
The only way to end this cycle is to stop engaging in it. Block her on everything, stop giving her the time of day, and move on. Relationships - of any kind - should add to your life. This one doesn't. She clearly has no interest in fixing anything with you. You need to let go and move forward with your life.
