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The OpenVisionZ blog #7 - "The Return of Long Dick Chappy" 

Long Dick Chappy

Long Dick

Chappy was introduced in a earlier blog and is back to lay the smack down on his hoes! Long Dick Chappy has been pimping for 39 years he started back in the days of the Reagan Administration and has had numerous hand surgeries from smacking his bitches silly. This is the story of how he turnt out a doctors wife after being in surgery for slapping the shit out of his main bitch so hard that he shattered his Pimpin hand.  So the story goes like this one day Long Dick Chappy had a hankering for a chicken on cheese sandwich from his favorite fried chicken spot in town Chix Big Breasts Fried Chicken & Chili Waffles. So LD Chappy sent his best errand runner hoe Ms. Shirly Fudgy Buns Malloy to go get him some good ol Chicken on Cheese sandwiches

and a 3 stack of bacon chili waffles. She was a white bitch so she didn't know much. She wasn't much of a earner as she had a anal issue and seemed to always have a mean case of leaky ass, so when customers started to complain due to the reverse shit stain affect Long Dick just made her a certified errand runner. That's neither here nor there though.  So Long Dick sent Shirly out to Chix Big Breasts Fried Chicken & Chili Waffles to get a chicken on cheese sandwich and a 3 stack of bacon chili waffles with extra maple syrup, So Shirly headed off to the spot and Long Dick gave her about 3 dollars, called her a bitch and said she better have change when she gets back. The meal was more than 3 bucks so Shirly had to turn a few tricks to make enough to buy LD's food and give him change from the 3 dollars he gave her.  Shirly Fudgy Buns started to trot down W. 47th street when she was approached by a greasy little middle eastern man with caterpillars for eye brows and a hairy gorilla back driving a kool-aid red Maserati

, he waved her down and Fudgy Buns explained that she was going to Chix Big Breasts Fried Chicken & Chili Waffles for her pimp Long Dick Chappy and that she was supposed to bring back a chicken on cheese sandwich and a 3 stack of bacon chili waffles and how she only has 3 dollars for a 12 dollar plate of chicken. So the greasy little man asked her if she wanted to make $37.00 to sprinkle hot chili flakes on his oily chest and back and rub him down with hummus and baklava juice. So Shirly was always told to get that money by LD and she had no choice but to accept the little middle eastern mans offer of $37 dollars to smother him in hot chili flakes and baklava hummus extract. Shirly Fudgy Buns got into the red Maserati

and they turned down a dark ally off W. 23rd and Mulligan ave then Shirly Fudgy Buns ambivalently turned the trick seductively rubbed him down with hummus juice, threw the chili flakes on his chest and oily back, and gave him a pertinent slap on his fuzzy ass as she grabbed her money and jumped out before the greasy little middle eastern could get his underwear on. The greasy little middle eastern man was satisfied until he noticed the shit smudges Shirly left on his passenger seat, but by then it was to late Shirly had already got that $37.00 and was halfway to Chix Big Breasts Fried Chicken and Chili Waffles.

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A couple hours went by and Long Dick Chappy was getting hangry and he needed his chicken on cheese sandwich and a 3 stack of bacon chili waffles, he was starting to get mean. Shirly didn't realize how long it took to smother that lil middle eastern in hummus and baklava juice and she was gone for almost 2 hours. Long Dick

was pacing the hotel room in a hunger rage and he started throwing punches, swearing, yelling, swinging bolos all over the place and getting furious.  He was screaming "Where this bitch at with my chicken on cheese sandwich"  "What this bitch think this is, bitch tryn to play me for my money" "I want my 3 stack of bacon chili waffles, Bitch, Ima smack a hoe I swear I'll smack a hoe!!"  LD

was throwing swinging his arms in a flurry of rage, throwing hay-makers while flipping out about how long it was taking Shirly to get back, and then all of a sudden mid throw Shirly walked in the door and KA POW KRAK POW she got cold cocked right in the face, Fudgy Buns went down, LD

 just cracked Fudgy Buns with a shot from Jupiter and knocked her out cold, the chicken on cheese sandwich and the 3 stack of bacon chili waffles she was holding flew half way across the room and Shirly hit the floor like a sack of rocks, Long Dicks change of $14.09 was spread across the room as Shirly hit the floor and LD grabbed his hand in pain.

Shirly Fudgy Buns Malloy

LD's hand started to swell up and he realized that he just not only broke his pimpin hand but Shirly forgot the maple syrup

for his 3 stack of chili waffles. Shirly was layed out cold on the floor blood leaking from her nose and shit leaking from her ass. Long Dick started to poke her with his bunion foot to wake her up and her eyes started to open and she slurred the words "hummus and hot pepper baklava flakes", LD made a non-plussed facial expression, then said "Where my money bitch?" Shirly was concussed and had no idea where she was, LD went to cock back his pimping hand and squinted in pain then realized he broke it on Shirly's head. Now the main thing on Long Dicks mind was how's he gonna get to the hospital with this bitch all concussed and shit, she wouldn't be able to drive Chappy's Big Dick Caddy to the ER, so Long Dick decided to drive himself to the hospital and on the way he would stop by Chix Big Breats Fried Chicken & Chili Waffles for that maple syrup

.  Long Dick pulled up to the ER and parked his Big Dick Caddy in the ambulance spot, hopped out and headed through the doors to the ER and was immediately approached by security who asked him to move his vehicle, Long Dick Chappy raised his head and gave the security a long cold stare and said "Bitch, Don't you Know I Got That LD?" and the security guard turned around and waddled away perturbed and a bit sad. Long Dick walked into the waiting room started to yell out "Hey yo, Yo!! I broke my pimping hand on my bottom bitches head, lemme get a doctor!!"  So a nurse grabbed a wheelchair and Long Dick sat down in it then pulled out his 3 stack of bacon chili waffles and started to drizzle maple syrup

on them while telling the nurse that he would love to see what kind of anthropomorphic mouth skills she has and that she could make a pretty penny working the track for long dicked pimp like him, and that he could set her up something special if she wants to put it down on the track. She rolled her eyes and wheeled him into the X-ray room.

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Long Dick's x-ray's were processed and Dr. Dike Mufkins came in and explained that he had three broken fingers and a cracked knuckle, and that he would need surgery and a few titanium pins and rods if he ever wanted to slap a hoe again. Long Dick Chappy has had few surgeries in the past, he has had a double penal implant and a penal reduction along with a few ass injections that his bitches were extremly jealous of.  Long Dick

agreed to the surgery and the surgery was a success, the Dr. explained that Long Dick would have to stop slapping his hoes for a little while if he wants his pimping hand to heal properly.  Unfortunately Long Dick Chappy was a pimp and a pimp rules by the magnitude of his slap, and needless to say Long Dick had to get his money.  Long Dick was so offended that Dr. Dikes was telling him that he would have to stop slapping hoe's for his pimping hand to heal properly that he sat up pulled out a bottle of pimp powder

, sprinkled a little bit on and then slapped the living shit out of Dr. Dike Mufkins for saying that he would have to stop slapping hoe's. The Dr. hit the ground and Long Dick started to run his pockets looking for his wallet.  LD

grabbed the Dr.'s ID and credit cards and hopped in his Big Dick Caddy and started to drive to Dr. Dike Mufkins house in the hills.  Chappy pulled up and rang the door bell.  Dr. Dike Mufkins wife Mrs. Mufkins came to the door and said who are you?  Long Dick raised his head and said "Bitch I'm Long Dick Chappy the slickest pimp this side of Harlem, and I'm here to collect bitch" The woman was confused and a little turned on, she noticed the pins and rods protruding from Chappys hand and just as she asked if  he knew her husband, Long Dick Chappy raised his secondary pimping hand sprinkled some pimp powder on it and smacked the silly out of Mrs. Mufkins  - POWWWW!! Long Dick just recruited the Dr.'s wife with a pimp slap from heaven. She spun around and fell into a daze.  Long Dick threw her over his shoulder and threw her Big Dick Caddy's trunk then began to drive back to the sleazy Hotel Fornication.

Junkie Ally

He pulled up to the hotel and Shirly Fudgy Buns Malloy opened the door and started to ask Long Dick where he has been and what he was doing "how were the bacon chili waffles?" and blah blah blah Long Dick reached back and slapped the hell out of Shirly and said "Bitch shut up and help me get this hoe out the trunk".  LD and Fudgy Buns grabbed the Dr.s wife out of the trunk and began to bring her into Hotel Fornication.  They layed her on the bed and then there was a knock on the door. It was Dr. Dike Mufkins, bloody faced and asking where his wife is.  Long Dick opened the door and said "Yo bitch chose me, now beat it punk bitch"  Long Dick Chappy

started to say he owns his wife now and she would be working the track down by junkie ally where the tricks get turned for rock bottom prices and that he would give him his wife back once she makes up for the money he lost during his hand surgery and she had to compensate him for the comment Dr. Mufkins made about not slapping hoes until it heals. Dr. Dike Mufkins was nervous and he didn't want to test a pimp on his pimp shit so decided to just walk away. By this time Dr. Dikes wife started to come to and she began to ask Shirly Fudgy Buns where she was and who's the little guy in the leopard print jacket and purple hat with the peacock feather in it,  Long Dick turned around and said "I'm the Pimp that just made you a track star Hoe" She looked up and POWWWW!! Long Dick gave her a open hand slap, the translucency of the pimping powder

cloud mesmerized Mrs. Mufkins and she began to strip down to her underwear and smear lipstick on not only her mouth lips but also her vagina lips, and at that moment Long Dick Chappy procured her the sobriquet "Cindy Sultry Lips Mufkins"!! The next thing Long Dick Chappy did was smack her on the ass and told her "Bet Git My Money, Hoe, Bitch, you got dem sultry lips now get them to work" They hopped in the Big Dick Caddy and  drove down to Junkie Ally. Junkie Ally was a bit off the beat and track but still in the perimeter of the hustlers and johns and so "Cindy Sultry Lips Mufkins" started her first day of thotting for LD Chappy the slickest pimp this side of Harlem!!

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