#open setting

Let all who come To this happy place Put a great big smile Upon their face

No gods No kings Only tomorrow Great, big beautiful Without sorrow

For remember folks At twilight’s break No gods no kings But those we make

And the words were written On some happy stone

GREAT MEN DIE ALONE

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So, it's a creepy Disney thing! But, believe it or not, I actually have lore for this fucker! More on that past the break!

SUBJECT: PORKY is a large prismatic's pig's head protruding from a massive window located within a brick building in a “glitch street” in [REDACTED] Michigan. Subject has been roughly estimated as being the size of a Volswagen Beetle, accurate guesses are unknown thanks to subject's concerns about us being “A Robberies”

Aside from the Subject and its location, the brick building appears to be 80%non-anomalous. The other twenty percent is minor anomalies; which our archetectural estimates have shown mainly to be of use in supporting the unusual archetecture of the location; described as “Anomalous” and “whimsical” by otehrs. Subject's hypothetical lower body has not been located within the building, if it is there at all.

Subject is capable of speech and appears to be an anomalous “merchant” of some sort; possibly related to subjects [REDACTED], offering “Straws, Bricks, and Woods” as building materials. The definitions of such subjects appear to be loose, and may be classified as minor anomalies.

Potentially useful anomalous materials have been investigated for use by G.U.F.F., but have had secondary issues with acquisition thanks to subject's ecdentricities; both in inconsistent stocking of such goods and most notably their fears of “A Robberies” or “A Police Thieft”.

Financial compensation for goods rendered MUST be given to the Subject directly, and the goods will be located within the first room through the front door of the building. DO NOT TRY TO CHEAT SUBJECT.

On a related note; rumors of a “screaming wall” within the house are accurate, though agents are STRONGLY ADVISED AGAINST seeking such a place out. It has been called a gruesome experience by those that have, and its very existence should be a warning in and of itself against scamming the Subject..

Itinerary of anomalous goods purchased and sample’s of subject’s “Complementous Cataloge” are forthcoming.

So, yeah, I added in a Vendor-y thing to the G.U.F.F.’s repritoire. And yes, for the record its sales are a reference to the Three Little Pigs

Of course, as with all the G.U.F.F. stuff, they are free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY-Vanilla license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

Subject LAUGHING DEATH is a pistol-sized firearm-morphic organic lifeform found in what is believed to be one of the areas where the [REDACTED] Wars intersect to our existence. Subject is believed to be part of a mass-produced range of guns, as its genetic composition bears teltale sequences similar to Subjects [REDACTED] which are also 96% likely to be linked to such a war

Subject is a firearm that consumes organic material and metallic tissues to produce strains of organic ordinance, to be fired and used for termination of living organisms.

NOTATION TO G.U.F.F. STAFF: Subject is to only be fed through proxy means such as mechanical arms. G.U.F.F. will not be held responsible for loss of digits or limbs.

At regular intervals, subject is to be fed only three-fourths nonsentient animal protein and one fourth metallic substances. Variations in diet must be approved by the G.U.F.F. for the purposes of testing. DO NOT LET IT CONSUME FLESH BELONGING TO SENTIENT OR ANOMALOUS ORGANISMS. TESTING ON SUCH IS SEVERELY RESTRICTED.

Subject is also to be regularly tested at least once a week on G.U.F.F.-approved anomalous firing range. Subject’s ballistics must be observed for variations in composition and effects due to diet. Human substitutes will be provided for these tests.

END NOTATION

Subject is notable for its wid variety of producable “ammunition”, its cartilaginous composition seeming to be able to stretch to [REDACTED] times its size to contain its ammunition. Tests are to be released, eventually.

 Subject’s intelligence is minimal, though it is reported to produce a sound that members of the organization analogize to “laughter” when entities around it are injured or when it is fed.

SO YEAH, always gotta have a horrible organic gun in one’s anomalous crud collection! I’m proud of the design I made, tho less so of the actual concept.

Do I overdo the idea of weapons-with-lots-of-variation? Like, legit, I’m curious, because it is a fav trope but I do worry I overdo it.

And, as with all of my G.U.F.F. stuff, this entry is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY-Vanilla license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

The Palace Of Summer is a strange place amongst strange places. The way it shows up in those times of extreme heat, a castle of sweet-coloured ice beneath falling snow on an icy cliff, no matter what the terrain around it; is unusual yes; but the sort of unusual those who study strange spaces are accustomed to.

So too is the palace of delights, of ice cream and sno-cones and other flavored treats, and snow of all sorts perfect for packing and water for swimming; all cool but never too cold no matter what those inside are wearing.

Mystic spaces of delights that appear from nowhere are not unusual; though the ones that are non-sinister like the Summer Palace are rarer than the ones that function for the young like the tongue of a snapping turtle towards a tasty fish.

What is unusual; however; is the unseen ruler of the palace, Princess Glacidulce, and the enigma of what she truly is. It is known for certain she is the daughter of the Snow Queen, that is for certain, and she speaks through her otter-like agents, but why she made the palace is an enigma she and her agents do not tell.

And so too are the strange treasures she leaves behind, ranging from smaller than a teaspoon to larger than a bus, all of which have something to do with sweetness and ice.

The leaving behind of things beyond memories is unusual for those who control strange spaces, to the point of perhaps being taboo, and the appearances have been getting more and more common. And, more troublingly, the time it first showed up and the accelleration of its appearances map eerily well with the increase in global temperatures en-masse, as if it is trying in vain to fight such back.

But, more unsettling still is the rumors of a war, with a place called only The Forest Of Mirrors...

This setting is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY-Vanilla license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as its creator!

And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!

Manufactured en-masse, often on worlds torn by war, the Pearl Sword and Amber Sword are both artificial; weaker imitations of the Cardinal Swords, still difficult enough to design that they still only show up in the hands of those honored or elite enough to receive them.

The Pearl Swords have the power of Stars and the Amber Swords have the power of Preservation. At their base level this usually amounts to the Pearl Sword sending out sparkling elemental motes and the Amber Sword shooting a ray putting people into a crystalline torpor.

But, they have a major ability that lets them do so much more. For, you see, they accrue power over time, growing with their wielders and having their core specialties shaped in any number of directions, with their appearance continually changing to reflect such.

Related to their mercurial nature, no two of them are alike in personality as with most people, though there is a slight tendency for the Pearl ones to be either overly-humble or complete divas and for the Amber ones to be down-to-earth but somewhat stubborn.

While none of them have reached the power levels of the original Cardinal Swords, they do have the potential for such, and some iterations are getting close. And, for the most part, the Cardinal Swords welcome them as kin and friends.

Well, except for Diamond, who basically wants them gone, but that’s Diamond for ya.

It is said there are also other mass-production varieties either made or in development by their mysterious creator, with Coral; Petrified Wood; Ammolite and Stalactite ones rumored, along with more dubious ones of Fordite or Bezoar or; god forbid; Kidney Stone...

As with all my cycles of weapons, these are free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY-Vanilla license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

And, if you wanna support me, maybe check out my Patreon, or even just send a Ko-Fi my way! Every penny is appreciated, and I am eternally grateful for those who donate!

WARNING: THE FIRST PIECE OF WRITING MADE AFTER CONTACT WITH SUBJECT MUST BE GIVEN TO THE G.U.F.F. FOR DISPOSAL. PAPER WILL BE IMMEDIATELY PROVIDED FOR USE AFTER CONTACT FOR IMMEDIATE MONITORING.

Subject LEVIATHAN BANNER is a piece of what has been determined to be biologically closest to human skin, carved and pyrographically altered to depict what seems to be a variant on the famous cover from Thomas Hobbes “Leviathan.”

Subject has mind-affecting properties, causing any who read it to become compelled to write what seems to be a contract. Contract has extremely similar wording across all iterations, and retains mind-anomalous properties when copied.

When contract is signed by a secondary indivdual, they are fused with the primary writer in a biological convocation. Upon multiple observed occurrences, bodies appear to prefer fusion in what is roughly a humanoid shape, with the original writer of the contract appearing to biologically alter into the shape of a head.

Estimated amount of assimilated individuals before biological unviability is 151; including the “head”. Psychic contact with head has been limited, resulted in traumatic [REDACTED] for [REDACTED] agents.

Subject found adjacent to corpse of fused entity in the millitia compound of [REDACTED], amount of subjects within fused entity estimated at within the amount of five digits. Fused entity appeared to have been biologically operational, come to injury by secondary means. This implies further anomalous properties, warranting further study.

So, yeah, another thing I made by coming up with the pic before the narrative! And boy did I have trouble coming up with the narrative, hence why I made this pic ages ago and am only now getting to posting it!

And, as with all of my G.U.F.F. stuff, this entry is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY-Vanilla license so long as I; Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as their creator!

The WARDUMMY was an earily attempt at designing a mechanized soldier for the purposes of war; one of the first designed by the U.S. government using wholly mechanical; non paranatural phenomenae; designed to be tele-electronically animated from a “core” central processor.

This model contains gyroscopic mechanisms for stabilization and miniaturized hydraulics for propulsion, with two “hands” that roughly function as dextrous appendages and can be replaced with firearm attachment/usage mechanisms.

The most impressive mechanisms are contained in the head, comtaining two highly advanced miniaturized televisual cameras; a high-fi speaker and speech synthesizer, and a glistening “reciever dome” for contact.

The prototype was abandoned due to the extensive costs of production and issues with functionality compared to traditional soldiers. Its mechanisms were durable, but prone to breakage outside of artificial settings; and its physical strength and stability beyond its usage of firearms were below average even at peak condition.

It was given to the G.U.F.F. as a “present” despite its seemingly non-anomalous nature. It has been used as a conduit for contact with computer and electrically-based subjects due to its low functionality; as a telemetrically operated manipulator of unknown subjects; and as a mechanism for deeply; deeply stupid pranks.

Through its usage in our programs; it has gained a singular anomalous property by unknown aggregate  means. It is currently indestructable, durable beyond conventional and many anomalous means; and if destroyed or lost will appear immediately afterwards in foundation custody.

It has been called our “mascot” by many members, and this writer would not contradict that...

So, yeah, I couldn’t quite figure out anything super-creative for this hypothetical-warbot. So I decided to make ‘em the Foundation’s equivalent to Buster from Mythbusters!

As with the other G.U.F.F. stuff, this entry is free to use as you see fit under a CC-BY Vanilla 4.0 License as long as I, Thomas F. Johnson, am credited as the creator when you do so!