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//vampires avid is stronger than me because if half of the population of Oakhurst was either a vampire or calling me insane for talking about them while dealing with the very recent trauma of killing my partner who got turned into a vampire I would just cry in my room 24/7
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OOC POST:
ok, in regards to my last post, I locked in
[I caught the news of @blueespeon / @badertincoming's passing.]
[While this blog has been on hiatus, I've been hard at work behind the scenes, slowly chipping away at asks so I can finally return. The most recent ask I finished drawing was one I had received months ago, from Bader. So, the news that they would never live to see it was heartbreaking.]
[Afterwards, I was a bit conflicted about what to do with the finished ask. I'm still not ready to return, so would it be right to come back weeks/months later and reopen wounds by posting it? But ultimately, I decided to keep it in my queue to post as if it were from any other asker, because to do anything else would be disrespectful to their memory. They sent many asks to this blog, and I am grateful for each and every one of them. Their last ask to me should be no different.]
[Thank you for your time with us, Bader. I did not know you beyond your characters, but we will all feel the ache of your absence in every post you ever made and every ask you ever sent us, and it will haunt us like a ghost. Please, rest well.]
I still have no clue why I've mentally decided Jason Grace is the world's biggest ABBA fan, but I will die on this hill now
Hey, long time no see! Lionpaw’s diary has been on my mind. I don’t really have the energy for a big art project these days, but I’d love to keep the story going somehow. I’m looking at a few options, but it’ll probably stay on hiatus a bit longer.
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New Lucio ref sheet, post distortion
I thought it would be fun to alter his design post distortion because it is still a part of him, he still does have a chance of distorting again
Or he can manifest ego I guess. He's too depressed to manifest ego
Ooc: help a guy out
//One of the reasons why both Jason & AK don't seem to get very triggered often is because both are constantly in a state of emotional repression and dissociation, also repressing their memories of the past. For Knight, this shows in how he thinks of Jason as a separate person– even though he is the manifestation of the brainwashing and torture he refuses to acknowledge. For Jason, it's like he's pretending it never happened. He's trying to be the person he was, but it never works. He tries to be this person and forces himself to forget about what's really happened to him. Both of these sides of the same person block out all they can of their deeply, insanely traumatic past while keeping part of the memories they don't even know of. Ex, how Jason & AK thinks his parents didn't like or love him and were abusive, same with the view of the rest of the batfamily.
I think if they weren't repressing and masking all these memories and thoughts, Jason/AK would definitely be more maniacal and/or labelled 'psychotic,' because of all that brainwashing and trauma. Certainly more unstable – but definitely furthered by the memories being there. He can't heal by avoiding them like he does, but if both sides begin to acknowledge these memories and emotions it will wreck them but they will be able to heal with so much time.
