The Trucker bka Bubba

The first guy to inbox me that I matched with. A northerner, 29 new to the area looking for a thrill.  So damn cute with a full time job.  Ambitious rapper in the making with a lil dental dysfunction but he cute.  We met at a restaurant practicing social distancing,went to the airport and watched plans take off while smoking blunts and listening to his mixtape. Lets just say we met and he friend zoned me. lol 

The 29 yr old too old to know better to young to still be a dumb nigga.

Flashy ass navy vet...well he was a cook on a submarine.  It was all good when we met until he got upset when we talked music. He started playing music from a British rapper whose lyrics were worst than a mumble rapper on a mediocre beat.  I wasn’t impressed and honestly when exposed to dummy shit for too long my head hurts and I get the urge to want to pick up a book.  I was like “Enough is enough please change to an artist who reads books.”, that set him off.  We went from falling in love to instant hate in the matter of minutes.  He screamed and yelled and got into a verbal shouting match about rappers.  I exited immediately.  “I’m out! I’m gonna go read, I’ll leave you with the writer who raps about seasoning a girl like shes chicken.”  The nigga must of thought that line was so cold cuz he said it twice.

The Porn Star

An army vet and personal trainer at the local L.A Fitness.  Recently divorced with 2 daughters old enough to jump me and film it and edit it to upload on Instagram.  I remained on my best behavior to keep from becoming the next Katt Williams even though I was ready to devour him like the chocolate drop he is. 

This barbie plays with G.I Joe

We sent pictures back and forth via text.  He cute and could dress.  Then pictures morphed to videos and to my surprise...they were explicit....or was I surprised.  Snippets of him half naked morphed to butt ass naked. Well ok than fat dick daddy, show me all the goods!  So i asked questions and got a link to a few videos and really got to see what Fat Dick G.I Joe was working with.  Thank you.  So he asked me out but when we met I noticed his body was better in person.  Total body babe.  But....he looked better from a distance or with a hat on.  We went to the drive in, it was his first time.  We attempted to make out, which lead to attempting to ride his face but the damn console was in the damn way of his BMW coupe.  

The Help Desk Customer Service Rep...who thinks hes the smartest in the room and loves to play devils advocate.

My issue is how every conversation got sexual, but he never sent no dick pic or print. Don’t talk about it be about it.  On our first date we went to the park. We discovered a park neither of us have been too.  New to the city from Miami, the chocolate dread head with a rapper name was comfortable around me. Not afraid to reach for my hand nor place his hand around my waist.  However, the good comes with the bad and at times he got too comfortable.  Standing behind me with his dick pressed up on my ass like we posing for a mall photo graph with matching air brush tees.  We don’t go together, fuck is you doin?  Back the fuck up.  Talking to him at times would be just too much.  Asking him about his job got so technical. He gave me the run around but using my context clues, I’ve come to the conclusion that he works remotely as a tech help desk rep.  Needless to say, every convo was either about sex or just overly complicated.  

The Virgo

Successful entrepreneur feeling the pressure of the Chinese virus, the flashy Nigerian  was handsome and well dressed.  Pulled up in a smooth white Mercedes SUV.  Literally called me up and said “Hey! Wyd?  Lets link up.”  Excited, he went on to encourage me to get out the house. “Come on, lets be spontaneous.”  No usually I don’t do this, I require a minimum of 24 hr advance notice,but I wasn’t do a damn thing.  Wine and good convo.  I won’t say we hit off in love but we defiantly had a good time.

My Girl Gotta Girlfriend

......and y the fuck not cuz these niggas ain’t shit.  She cute and got a fat ass.  I’m so inexperienced I wouldn’t know what to do with it but curiosity scissor with 2 fat wet cats.  A married flight attendant and drama nerd.  No kids and 2 incomes....y'all lookin for a third?  “Sure!” she texted back, “If you don’t mind a nerd with a beard.”  Suga moma is that you? Spoil me, please.  “Are you interested in being the third?” Possibly.  

The Poet