#oldpalegoth

Dylan was sat on the sofa with his laptop and a glass of brandy when he heard the door open and slam shut. 

“Hey, you’ll take it off its hinges if you’re not careful, Benny!” he was in a good mood, and he turned to look at her. She rushed by, forcing him to turn the other way. “Benny?” 

Dylan shut his laptop and put down his glass. “Benny!”

He moved his laptop aside and went out into the corridor. He knocked gently on his daughters bedroom door. 

“Benny?” 

“Go away!” came the muffled reply.

Dylan sighed heavily, but silently, closing his eyes for a moment. He left it, went out to the kitchen and switched the kettle on.

-

Dylan held both mugs in one hand and knocked on Lofty’s door again. There was no protest, so he opened the door slowly and shut it behind him. Lofty was face-down on her bed, her face buried in the pillow and her skirt rucked up in an undignified manner. 

Dylan put both mugs down on the bedside table. 

“You’re not preserving your dignity too well” he said softly, pulling her skirt right.

She suddenly pushed herself up, turning to look at him.

“I was four dad!” She cried. “I was four! Why is it ruining things now?!” 

Dylan looked at her. “What do you mean? What’s happened? You’ve been looking forward to tonight for all week” 

“Yeah, I know, but it had to be ruined, didn’t it?” 

Dylan made her sit up and sat beside her, much to her annoyance. 

“Tell me what happened. In your own time”

She managed to stop crying just enough to speak. 

“Everything was going so well. We went back to his and we started messing about and stuff, and he wanted to go further, so, so well, y’know, and then, and then he saw” she wiped the tears away with the heel of her hand, the look on his face coming back to her. “He didn’t even listen to me. He just kept shouting and saying stuff... He said no one could ever love me with something like that” 

It took Dylan a moment to register what she was referencing. “Wait, do you mean your old scar from getting that lump removed?” 

The way she started crying more and covering her mouth with her hands was enough of an answer. 

“Oh sweetheart. Come here” he reached for top button, and she flinched a bit and grabbed his hands. “Hey, sh, sh, sh, it’s ok”

He undid her shirt and slipped it off her shoulders. It was apparent then how things had gone. There were red marks on her upper left arm where she’d obviously been grabbed. She’d obviously been in a rush to get out of there, as her bra wasn’t exactly on properly, and he’d noticed her shirt hadn’t been buttoned up right either. Lofty apparently became aware of this, and reached back to do up the other two clips. The motion perfectly displayed the old scar under her left arm. 

“It’s a little red. You should’ve told me”

“I think it’s just because I’ve been scratching it a bit” Lofty mumbled, wiping her eyes. “I got a bug bite. It gets a bit red sometimes anyway, like if it’s been hot”

“Benny, what are you thinking right now? About your scar, I mean?” 

Lofty swallowed, not making eye contact. “That he’s right... That no one is gonna love a girl with an ugly scar like this. He said other stuff about me too. Like that I obviously needed a decent razor as well as concealer for the scar”

“Uh, has he ever seen a man?” Dylan said, he pulled up his trouser leg a bit. “Most men look like this. They’ve no right to go policing women about it. Wait, did you say he told you to get concealer to cover that?” 

Benny nodded. “He said I should’ve at least had cosmetic surgery...”

-

Dylan stared at her in shock for a moment. “Benny Louise Chiltern, I want you to listen to me now, ok? Anyone who says anything like that to you, anyone who treats you like that, especially over a tiny scar like this, is unworthy of you. He doesn’t deserve to even be thought of. Don’t dignify him with your tears like this. He’s obviously scum, by the sounds of everything you’ve told me just now. Having good looks doesn’t mask a personality as ugly as that” 

“I still think he’s right” Tears started to fall down her cheeks again.

Dylan stood up, making Lofty stand up too. “Right, come on” 

“Dad! I-” 

“Shush” he brought her up in front of the mirror, standing behind her and keeping hold of her. “Come on, what do you see?” 

“Dad, don’t! I look terrible when I’ve been crying”

“That’s not the point. Come on” he took her left hand carefully, holding her arm up. “Is it obvious?”

“Dad!” 

“Well, is it? We’ve been here before” 

“Dad, don’t do this!” she pulled free, turning to face him. “Don’t you think I’ve been through enough today?!”

“Yes, and I want you to know that there’s no reason for you to believe what some scumbag said to you” he said, a hand on either side of her face. “He’s nothing. You shouldn’t believe what one person said to you. You’re too important to be taken down by people like that. Do you remember us in front of this mirror before because of your scar?”

Lofty broke down and fell against his chest, clinging to him tight. Dylan hugged her, trying to calm her sobs and continue to repress his own tears further. 

“Don’t make me think of it” she cried against him. “All of that... I think I remember more than you think I do. I can remember the needles and the pain and everything. I don’t want to think of the chemo again” 

“Ok sweetheart. Ok” 

-

Dylan sat down on the floor with Lofty in front of him, leaning against him once she’d calmed down a bit. Her old toy diplodocus was within arms reach. He grabbed it and handed it to her, and she held it against her herself. She looked up, looking at their reflection in the full length mirror. It was a familiar sight. 

“You told me off back then, do you remember? Because I was upset about it and you were trying to explain that it was the scar or my life. And I said I wished it was my life” 

Dylan rested his head against hers. “You were so little. So young. It was horrible hearing you say something like that. I think it was just because you were sore and scared. I never meant to tell you off. It just happened” 

“We did this when I was out of hospital again after the op, didn’t we?” 

“Yeah, we did. You had your new pyjamas on, little pink silky ones that Connie had bought you as a get well soon present” Dylan said. “You were still feeling poorly and confused. I don’t know how well you’ll remember the times we did this before your diagnosis. I even did this with you when you were a baby. I’m not sure why” 

“So, why did you do it that night?” Lofty asked. 

“Well I know why: because I wanted to show you that nothing had changed. Not where I was concerned. I wanted to show you that I still loved you just as much as before, if not more” 

“I can remember it. I can’t really remember exactly what you said. I remember bits, but I can’t work out how to get them from my mind to my mouth. I remember you calling it my lifeline. You said it a lot” 

“Well, it is, essentially” Dylan said. “It’s like I used to tell you: it was a scar or your life. You mentioned that, didn’t you?” 

Lofty nodded. She was quiet for quite a while, relaxing as Dylan cuddled her. She could remember doing this with Dylan when his old boyfriend was still around, and many times since. She always saw a different side to her father while they did this. He seemed to forget his reflection was visible to her, and she could read his emotions clearly from it. 

“Ethan said it was proof I was a fighter” she said, making Dylan jump a little as she broke the long silence. She shivered a little. 

“I think you should get your shirt back on now. And I think that tea has gone cold now. I’ll stick the kettle on, ok?” 

-

Lofty suddenly felt very alone when Dylan had left the room. She tried to cling onto the warm feeling she had had just moment ago. She looked at the shirt on her bed, and then at everything she was wearing. She picked up her phone, deleting all the texts and blocking the number of the “date” she’d had. She wanted no trace of him in her life, down to any fingerprints he may have left on her clothes. She stripped off and threw everything into the dirty washing basket. It was Sunday, so they’d all be washed tomorrow evening. She could live with that. She pulled on some shorts and found some cute pyjamas in the back of her drawer that she hadn’t worn for months, and slung those on, along with her silk dressing gown. She grabbed her diplodocus and went out into the living room.

-

Dylan smiled at her when she came in, coming over and handing her a mug of tea. 

“Earl Grey” he said. “Thought I’d treat you” 

“Thank you” she smiled, sitting down on the sofa. Dylan sat beside her, and she looked at his mug. “Have you got the same?”

“No, just the usual Yorkshire for me”

Lofty looked at him as she drank. Dylan noticed. He didn’t say anything, but he put his arm round her shoulders. 

“I love you, dad” 

Dylan stopped mid sip. “I love you too”

-

The doorbell rang just as they were finishing their drinks. 

“That’ll be for you” 

Lofty looked at him for a second. She set her mug down and went to open the door. 

She was almost knocked over by the force of the blond jumping at her for a hug. She heard the thunk of his glasses as they hit the floor, and she finally registered who it was and hugged him back, starting to cry again.

“I told him everything” Dylan said, getting up to shut the door. “I hope you don’t mind”

She didn’t. She was too happy with Ethan to be bothered. 

“And I told Boris” Ethan said, stepping back from the hug, but keeping his hands on her waist. 

“What? Why Boris?” 

“Because he loves you as much as I do, and he’ll sort out the bastard” 

Lofty couldn’t help but laugh. She kissed him and stepped back, picking up his glasses and handing them to him.

“Thank you”

“Wait a minute, it’s a Sunday night. You mum’ll go spare” 

Ethan shook his head. “Oh, no, our parents sorted it, kinda, so I’m staying here for the night. I think you could do with the company, by the sounds of it”

-

Lofty was feeling very emotional and had a bit of a cry about Ethan being there. She loved him so much, and she loved that Dylan liked him too and treated him like part of the family. Ethan was a bit of a one when it came to Lofty’s tears, and he started blubbing too. Dylan hugged them both.

“You big softy, Ethan” he said. “Do we need to put on an old video to settle the pair of you down? Another cup of tea wouldn’t hurt either”

-

Dylan made them both a cup of tea while Lofty dug out the old Bagpuss video. 

Dylan sat with them for a while. They spent about an hour curled up together on the sofa. Ethan started to drop off first, at which point Dylan switched the telly off. 

“Ok you two, bed now, please” he said softly. “I’ve got work tomorrow and you’ve both got school. A good nights sleep is in order”

-

Obedient as always, Ethan was first to be ready, even though Lofty was already in her pyjamas. Dylan decided she needed the extra TLC tonight and gave her a big cuddle and tucked her in, as well as Ethan. As usual, they were happy sharing the single bed. 

“Goodnight you two”

“Goodnight” 

Ethan waited for the door to close, and kissed Lofty, snuggling close to her. 

“I love you so much” 

“I love you too... Thank you”

“For what?” 

Lofty shrugged. “Everything, I suppose. You’re always so lovely to me.What did I do to deserve someone like you?”

Dylan took down the box of Leibniz biscuits from the top cupboard - and stopped for a moment when he found they were already open. 

“Alaois, have you been at these?” 

“Hm?” Alaois looked at him from over on the sofa. “Oh. Not exactly. I gave a couple to Lofty ‘cos he’s been good today” 

“What? Alaois, you know these are mine! There’s a reason I’ve made that obvious” Dylan snapped, half-slamming the cupboard door. 

“Well he’d been good, and I thought he deserved a treat. Don’t get so wound up: it’s just a biscuit”

“It wasn’t just a biscuit; it was one of my biscuits. If you felt he needed a treat, why didn’t you get him something from over the road or give him something from his cupboard? You know I don’t like people interfering with my things” 

Alaois frowned. “Sorry, but like I said; a treat” 

“Are you deliberately missing the point here?” 

“Give it a rest, Dylan! Can’t we just forget about it? You don’t have to police everything that he eats” 

“That’s a bit strong, isn’t it?” Dylan said, sitting down at the other end of the sofa. “Having something for myself doesn’t mean I’m policing what he has” 

-

They sat quietly together for a good fifteen minutes before Alaois piped up again. 

“You do police him a little bit”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Well you know, you cut him off from things most kids his age are well acquainted with” 

Dylan looked at him. “You’ve lost me”

Alaois sighed irritably. “You’re the one being deliberately ignorant now. Ok, fast forward a few years to when he’s started school and at the end of the day, all these little classmates of his will be talking excitedly and rushing home to watch a new episode of some little kids show, or they’ll be talking about their favourite shows and Lofty will be on the sidelines unable to join in. And say they all notice and ask what he likes and it’s all these things from the 50s up till the 80s that these kids won’t know about” 

“Hold on, you’re having a go at me because Lofty’s future classmates won’t be familiar with The Herbs?” 

“I’m just sayin’, there’s gonna be a gap and it’s gonna be awkward for him. I don’t know why you won’t let him just watch what’s actually on the telly. I was showing him some Spongebob the other week and he was loving it” 

“He watches that on the laptop sometimes anyway. Besides, I have my reasons for only showing him old stuff. I sampled a lot of that new stuff and honestly, is it any wonder parents have trouble settling their kids down and that so many more kids now have that unsophisticated American sense of humour and don’t understand jokes like; true or false, James May? There’s no substance to 90% of those programmes. Back in our day, there was actually lessons in a good amount of the things we watched. No, I show him a few new things on the laptop but there’s a reason my Sky subscription doesn’t cover the children’s channels” 

Alaois looked at him. “Wait, so what current things are you letting him watch?” 

“Why is this so important to you?” 

“I just wanna know! Why is that so bad?”

Dylan sighed irritably. “Uh.. Well, Spongebob, like I said. A couple of other American things... Steven Universe and... Adventure Time, in small doses. Oh, and The Story of Tracy Beaker. I think it’s all repeats on the telly but it’s on Netflix so he watches that sometimes... Look, Alaois, he’s happy with his videos most of the time. I can cope with him having telly differences when he starts school. It’s not the end of the world”

“Have you tried asking him what he wants to watch?” 

“Flippin’ heck, what is this; twenty questions?!” Dylan snapped. “He watches what I let him and he’s quite alright with that. He’s three years old, he doesn’t go to playgroup anymore, he doesn’t know anything different. He’s fine as he is” 

“...He’s going to have an old sense of humour” Alaois grumbled. 

“Oh for the love of all that is good in this world, would you give it a rest?!” he near enough shouted, standing up and heading back over to the kitchen. “I let him watch those old programmes because I like what they teach him and he enjoys them. And aside from that, aside from that episode with the Millers Song in it, having Bagpuss on on repeat some days doesn’t drive me crazy. I don’t see what your problem is” 

-

Dylan calmed himself down making tea for the two of them. He was ok for a while after he sat down, but Alaois seemed to be on a roll this evening. 

“I’ve noticed how you’re kinda old fashioned and restrictive with his toys too” 

Dylan sighed. Here we go again... “Have you?” 

“There’s a lot of wood. Aside from his dinosaurs and stuff. But yeah, a lot of wood” 

“Again, I fail to see the problem here” 

Alaois shrugged. “I just think it’s funny. You don’t like loud flashing and crashing toys, and y’know, all the toys that kids his age play with. We both know you have a habit of looking down on parents who think they’re better than other parents... But Lofty has a wooden espresso machine and a cheeseboard play set. That’s kinda pretentious” 

Dylan tried hard not to laugh. “I’ll give you that one. But in my defensive, Rita bought those for him” 

“Ok, but what about that pink tiered thing?”

“Do you mean the afternoon tea play set? It was reduced” Dylan put his mug down. “Besides, it helps his hand-eye coordination. And he asked for it, so you can’t hold that one against me either”

“Ok, ok, fine” Alaois took a large gulp of tea. “What about all those old toys though? Did you get them just to match those old videos? Like that Noah’s Ark. That’s gotta be, like, 100 years old”

“Uh, for your information, that Noah’s Ark is a genuine German 1940s model and I was lucky to come across it. And as further information for you, I bought that about ten years ago. I just handed it down to Lofty when I knew he was sensible enough to play with it properly” 

“That’s still pretentious”

-

Dylan was trying to remain calm. Alaois was knelt in front of the shelving unit that housed the videos. Every so often he’d take out a video, read the back of the box, and then put it back. 

“Half of these have bite marks on the box” 

“Yes. Well, he liked chewing things when he was a bit younger. He’d bite anything he could get his hands on” 

Alaois looked back at the shelf. “Where did you get all these, anyway?”

“I had a lot of them anyway, have done for many years now. I think a lot of them were from charity and antique shops. I got some off ebay too. They were fairly cheap. Not many people have working videos players anymore, not really” 

“...Hm, so you really think these are the better option?” 

“Oh for the love of -  do we really have to go through this again?” 

“I’m just trying to understand your point of view. Aren’t some of these quite violent? Like, did you ever read the Famous Five books? They were always smacking each other and beating each other” he lowered his voice. “I imagine Lofty’s very used to that sort of behaviour by now anyway”

Dylan stood up. “And what exactly do you mean by that?” 

“Oh come on, you can’t deny that you hit him”

“Well it’s not like I’m beating him black and blue and to the point where he trembles every time I walk into the room. And more to the point, it’s got nothing to do with you!” Dylan snapped. “He’s my son, not yours, and how I choose to discipline him is entirely my own business” 

“Look, I’m not against hitting kids, but I still think you can be a little harsh with him. He doesn’t like it” 

“He’s not supposed to like it - it’s a punishment! He doesn’t like being told off or put on the timer or being denied pudding. I suppose you’ll be telling me that’s harsh too. What do you expect me to do? Let him run wild and do whatever he pleases? You only think it’s harsh because he cries when you’re here, because he knows you’ll rush to his defensive and try to overwrite whatever punishment I’ve just given him” 

Alaois almost rolled his eyes at Dylan. He’d grown fond of Lofty in the past few months and he knew Dylan was probably right, but he didn’t like the way Dylan was saying it. 

“Well maybe I’m just a bit softer than you. Isn’t that the way the whole family thing is supposed to work? A strict parent and a fun parent?” 

“Alaois, you’re not his parent! I know we’re together and I know the two of you get along, but the fact remains that he is my son, and my responsibility. I’m not about to take parenting tips from someone who hasn’t any kids of his own. Hell, I hardly pay attention to people who do have children!”

“Maybe you should, every once in a while, then! It’s not a bad idea to see how other people are raising their kids and seeing if there’s anything you can use to make life easier. God knows even I started looking at those little Awesome Inventions parenting hack posts after I first met Lofty. Why are you so scared to look for help or accept that people do things differently?” 

“What are you talking about?! I’m not scared of looking for help. If I need it, I have people I can ask, and I know that other parents do things differently, but different isn’t always good. I’ve had a long career, and I’ve seen some terrible parenting in that time. I’ve seen everything from people putting Dr Pepper in their six-month-old babies bottle to causing permanent damage to their children by giving them adult medicines or handling them improperly. I’m not going to stand here and let you make me out to be a terrible parent”

“I never said you were a terrible parent! I just feel like you’re depriving him of a lot of what it is to be a kid”

-

Dylan couldn’t even reply for a good fifteen seconds after that. “I wish I knew what was going on inside your head. Do you want to know what being a kid is all about? It’s about having no worries and feeling safe knowing there’s someone there to look after you every day. It’s playing endless games with all different toys and playing outside and coming home with cut knees and grazed elbows. It’s exploring and fussing and spilling full bottles of bubble bath all over the floor and it’s drawing in books and making a mess and not caring. It’s... it’s more than just watching the same telly and playing with the same toys that people your age are watching and playing with. There’s nothing wrong with doing things differently” 

“I’m not stupid, I know what being a child is! I’ve been trying to explain to you that you’re just gonna make it difficult for him when he starts school and he can’t bond over the same things the other kids will. Isn’t that a talking point for little kids? Just the stuff they watch and the toys they play with? I don’t know what it was like for you, but the first friend I made at school came about because he liked my Danger Mouse lunchbox. Even in secondary school, I used to spend full afternoons with my friends talking about the stuff we used to watch and getting into trouble when we suddenly remembered another one and shouted the title and everyone else shouted back. I just think it’s important. Look, you know I love Lofty, and I don’t want him to miss out on stuff like that. It’s a big part of a kids life, isn’t it?”

“I appreciate your concern, but none of this is up to you. You need to stop interfering. It’s like I was saying earlier; you always try to overwrite any punishment I give Lofty just because he turns to you with crocodile tears. You might be my partner but you’ve no right to undermine me as a parent. If I start telling him off or setting the timer or whatever, it doesn’t really help when you start arguing a point with me, or when I tell him he isn’t allowed any pudding and you slip him something anyway. I’ve got a system going here, Alaois” 

“Well sorry that seeing him upset makes me feel sorry for him. I know you’re just doing your ‘job’, as it were, but I’m not exactly used to the whole parenting thing, and you’re raising him in a very different way to how I was raised. I guess you wouldn’t approve of it even if I told you” 

Dylan glared at him, still breathing heavily from his last addition to the shouting match. 

“I will raise my son the way I want to and the way I see fit, and I won’t change that just because you or anyone else doesn’t like the way I do things”

-

“Daddy?” 

Both men stopped, looking down to where Lofty stood, just behind Alaois. He was wrapped up in his little dressing gown, clutching his favourite little blanket in his hands. 

“You should be in bed, Benjamin” Dylan said firmly. 

“I know, but, but I can’t sleep when it’s so loud...” 

“Well put the quilt over your head and try” Dylan snapped. “Alaois and I are having a discussion here” 

“Dylan, you’re being-”

“What have I just been saying?!” Dylan interrupted. “Benjamin, get back to bed this instant!”

“Hey, there’s no need to shout at him like that!” Alaois snapped. “He’s scared, and is it any wonder?” 

“Have you not been listening to a word I’ve said?” 

They started in on each other again. Lofty didn’t know what to do. It was even worse here than it was in his room. He started crying quietly, covering his mouth with his blanket. They kept shouting at each other, and Dylan told him to go to bed a few times, but he was too scared and confused to move. Dylan was growing more and more frustrated. It was as though the two were refusing to hear him on purpose. Dylan saw red and he raised a hand to the boy. 

-

They were all in shock when Alaois grabbed him by the wrist, stopping him from even blindly attempting to strike the child. 

“Don’t turn your anger against me into anger against him”

Dylan looked at him for a moment, then at Lofty, and snatched his hand away.

“Fine, you know what? If you’re such a brilliant parent, you can put him back to bed and explain why we were fighting” Dylan turned on his heel, grabbing his cigar tin and storming out of the boat. 

-

Alaois took Lofty back into his bedroom and gave him a cuddle. 

“Why were you and daddy shouting so much?” 

“Uhh, well... Well, we had a bit of a disagreement and we were both being a bit silly about it all. I’m sorry we scared you and kept you up” Alaois lay down on the bed with Lofty at his side. 

“Is it my fault?” 

“No! No, of course it’s not your fault, silly!” Alaois held him tight, kissing his cheek. “It wasn’t your fault at all, I promise”

-

Alaois spent a good hour reading lots of little books to Lofty. When they were just settling down, they heard the front door of the boat open and close, and the sound of the lock turning. So, Dylan had finished his cigar. Lofty whined uncomfortable, climbing onto Alaois’s chest and lying down on his front. 

After a couple of minutes, the bedroom door opened. Alaois held his breath, not daring to speak in case Dylan was still in full-argument mode. Dylan slid a hand between the two and lifting Lofty up, holding him round the chest. Lofty whined, holding his arms out. 

“Leeshy..!” 

Alaois merely handed him his fluffy diplodocus, and watched as Dylan turned and left him alone in the room.

-

Dylan put Lofty down on the bed and shut the door. Lofty let go of his diplodocus and rubbed his eyes briefly, whining. Dylan sat down close to him on the bed. 

“Let’s take this thick dressing gown off, shall we? We don’t want you overheating now, do we?” 

Lofty nodded, watching him with tired eyes. The air immediately around him was still thick with the scent of cigar smoke, and his memories associated with the smell made him feel even more tired. 

“Daddy, why were you and Leeshy shouting so much?” Lofty asked as Dylan hung the dressing gown up on the back of the door. 

“Because he doesn’t agree with the way I look after you and he has the audacity to think his opinion will change my parenting tactics” 

Lofty didn’t understand entirely, but it gave him a much better insight that Alaois’s answer had. He stayed quiet for a moment, playing with his dino while Dylan got ready for bed.

“Is it my fault?” 

“No” Dylan said. “It was about you, but it wasn’t your fault. Alaois was the one who started the argument, so the fault lies with him. In no strain of events would the blame lie on you”

“Ok...” he climbed down from the bed, only just managing to keep his footing at the bottom. 

Dylan looked at him. “Are you going to see Alaois?”

Lofty shook his head. “Need a wee” 

“Ok. Don’t take too long about it though: it’s getting late”

-

Lofty climbed back into bed and Dylan pulled him close and held him tight. It wasn’t especially comfortable and he squirmed quite a bit. 

“Hey, what’s the matter?” Dylan let go of him.

Lofty grabbed his diplodocus and lay down again, leaving a small gap between himself and his dad. 

“Does this mean Leeshy isn’t going to visit any more?”

Dylan stopped for a moment. “I shouldn’t think so. We’ll sort it out... Come on now, you look exhausted. Get some rest” 

Lofty let Dylan tuck him in and he curled up on his side. “Daddy, what do you think about Leeshy?”

“Oi! Stop that!” Dylan grabbed Lofty round the chest, holding him back. “You need to calm down, Mister” 

“Did you mix up your coffee with his morning milk?”

Dylan gave Hansen a look. “He’s been hyper and naughty ever since he got back from Iain’s earlier. I’ve no idea why. It’s not over-excitement either, otherwise he wouldn’t be so angry. I’ve never seen him like this”

Dylan set Lofty down on the rug, trying to distract him with a colouring book. 

“Perhaps it was Iain then” 

Dylan didn’t seem so sure. “I’ll text him, see if he did anything to set him off”

-

Dylan was still sat on the laptop half an hour later, looking at the summaries and parent comments on Cartoon Network programmes. 

“Hmm... It all seems to make sense now, looking at this. The only ones that aren’t problematic or a bad influence or whatever are this Steven’s Universe and Adventure Times things. And even then, I’m not about to have a change and start paying for this damned stuff. He can stick with his videos” 

The laptop closed quite suddenly, almost catching Dylan’s hands in it. Lofty looked up at him, his little brow furrowing and an angry, demanding look on his face. 

“I want to watch Pingu now” 

“Try asking nicely, and maybe you’ll get your way” 

“I said now!” Lofty shouted, stamping his little foot. 

“Hey, don’t start that, young man” Dylan said firmly, moving the laptop aside. 

Lofty turned on his heel, storming off - but he turned around at the last minute. He put his hands on his hips. 

“Iain would let me!” 

“Well, I’m not Iain”

“Well I wish you were!” Lofty shouted, purposefully knocking over a stack of DVDs.

“Ben! Put those back this instant!” 

Lofty shook his head, sitting on the floor and grabbing his colouring book, setting to work like nothing had happened. “No”

-

Lofty shrieked again and shoved and hit Dylan and tried to struggle away. 

“Hey, don’t you dare push me like that, you naughty little so-and-so!” Dylan kept hold of him. “How many times do I have to say it this evening? You need to settle down! What’s gotten into you today?!”

Lofty whined loudly, trying to push Dylan’s hand off his arm. “Let go! I don’t care I don’t care I don’t care!”

He tried to hit Dylan with his free hand, only to be grabbed by the wrist. He let out a squawk and somehow managed to break free. He ran over and climbed onto the sofa, trying to crawl onto Hansen’s lap. Hansen took hold of him under the arms and held him at arms length. Lofty started crying, begging for a cuddle from the man. 

“You’ve behaved terribly this evening” Hansen said. 

“I wanna watch my video!” Lofty cried, making grabby hands at the consultant in further attempts for a hug. “It’s not fair!!”

“If you apologise to your father, maybe you’ll be allowed to watch it”

“NO!! I don’t want to!! It’s not fair, it’s not fair and I hate-”

Hansen held him firmly, which shocked the little boy to silence, as the man was usually so gentle with him. 

“That wasn’t a suggestion, Benjamin” 

Lofty whined, shaking his head at so fast a pace that it must have made him rather dizzy. 

“Apologise to your father”

Lofty scowled and started shouting quite incoherently, scratching at the CEO’s arms and hands. Mercifully, his nails had been cut the day before so he didn’t really do any damage.

He was suddenly grabbed from behind, and it silenced him for a few moments. He tipped his head back, looking up at Dylan. 

“You’ve earned yourself a time out, young man” 

-

It was more than just a struggle trying to get young Lofty to sit down on the red mat on the floor at the end of the breakfast bar. After initially getting him to sit down, he kept getting up, shouting and lashing out when he was told off. He didn’t appreciate Hansen watching them, and that seemed to make his struggle and protest intensify. He snapped, trying to bite Dylan in one desperate attempt to free himself.

“BENJAMIN CHILTERN!” Dylan shouted. “STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!”

Lofty stopped for a moment, shocked and scared by the sudden shout. For a second, it seemed like he was going to back down, but the expression on his little face changed and he seemed to square up to Dylan. It was all Dylan could do not to laugh at him - which helped him keep from shouting at the boy any more. He grabbed hold of the boy, picking him up and sitting him back down on the red mat. Lofty, of course, wriggled, but Dylan kept hold of him, holding him there until his struggles gradually stopped.

Luckily, Lofty gave up on his running away tactic, and stayed where he was. Dylan set the timer on the breakfast bar at twenty minutes.

“Don’t you dare move, understand?”

Lofty watched him go, and started in on his angry shrieking and shouting again. It was a reel of “It’s not fair”s and “Iain would let me”s, amongst other things. After five minutes with no reaction from either grown men, he gave up shouting and started sobbing instead, knuckling his eyes and hitting the side of the breakfast bar. 

-

Lofty managed to calm down and spent the last five minutes of his time out in silence. Once he heard the timer go off, he swallowed heavily, hearing footsteps. Dylan knelt down in front of him, and he whined quietly. 

“Is there anything you want to say?” Dylan asked, speaking to him softly.

Lofty hugged himself, nodding. “...’m sorry for being naughty an’ for hurting you an’ mur Hansen..” 

“I accept your apology, Ben. Thank you” Dylan assured him gently. “Is there anything else you’d like to tell me?”

“...You were really scary when you shouted at me”

Dylan nodded. “I know. But you weren’t listening and it was the only way to get  you to listen. I’m sorry for scaring you”

Lofty stood up slowly, taking a couple of steps forwards and snuggling into Dylan’s chest. Dylan hugged him tight and kissed his forehead. 

“Can I watch Pingu now?”

“No, you need to be settling down for bed. I’d rather you watched something calmer like the Clangers” 

“But-”

“No, don’t you start again. We don’t need another tantrum, do we?”

Lofty looked a little put out, but he didn’t say any more about it.

“You just got a little ahead of yourself, didn’t you? You naughty thing” he gave him a light tap on the behind. “Come on: let’s get your video on”

Dylan held him tight and stood up, taking him over to the sofa and sitting down with him. Lofty wriggled away from him, nervously crawling over to Hansen. He suddenly seemed even bigger and scarier than usual. 

“I, um, ‘m sorry for shouting and hurting you..”

Hansen gave him something of a smile and pulled him onto his lap. Lofty had to steady himself with both hands against the mans chest, and as he was doing so, he received a quick kiss on the forehead. That was as new as the firm grasp from earlier, but much more welcoming. He let himself fall against him and snuggle into him. 

“You’re better with him than I am”

-

When asked, Lofty chose to watch The Wombles, but he fell asleep near enough as the opening of the first episode finished. Even so, the two men kept the video playing, watching a couple of episode together in silence. 

“I must say, your parenting differs a lot from what’s common these days”

“If you’re about the have a go, I’m not in the mood” Dylan grumbled. “I don’t know what got into him earlier and I was mainly improvising, if that’s the right word for it”

“I’m not one to judge others, especially since I myself am childless” Hansen said. “For the record, I think you conducted yourself well, given the circumstances” he looked down at the toddler sleeping in his arms. “I must admit, the possibility that he could make such a ruckus had rather escaped me”

“He’s usually so well behaved. I think it might have been because of the programmes Iain showed him. A lot of those parent comments said they’d had adverse reactions to showing their children some things on that channel..."

“He’s only three. Young children inevitably copy some of what they see on the television and that’s just common knowledge and fully understandable from a developmental point of view” Hansen said. “Is that why you show him old childrens’ programmes?”

Dylan nodded slightly. “Partly. Personally I either disapprove or don’t like the look of quite a lot of childrens’ media nowadays. I did try to let him watch this new stuff at first, but he lost interest pretty quickly. I had a lot of these old programmes on video anyway, and he liked then straight away. Things aren’t as innocent and tame as they were back then” 

“If he likes what you show him and you don’t want his personality shaped on the questionable shows on television today, there’s nothing stopping you from carrying on like this. Perhaps that’s part of the reason why he’s usually so calm”

“I’ve thought that too. He’s always been quite mellow and soft though. I know he’s only young, but even so...” Dylan stopped for a moment, looking back at the telly. He was happy having a toddler sat watching The Wombles and Bagpuss and whatever other innocent old programmes in the evenings. Yes, he knew there may end up being something of a gap at school when it came to television talk, but that wasn’t exactly important. “I like things as they are. Next time Iain looks after him, I may have to send some videos along too”