#casuallaurie

As soon as they got back from the hospital, Benny was sent straight to bed. Ethan, for the first time, was denied access to Benny’s room and was forced to set up on the sofa. Dylan stormed off to his room and Alaois followed uneasily. 

It was late and they were supposed to be settling down to sleep, but Alaois's mind was very active.

“I think you should go and talk to her” Alaois said. They were laying back-to-back in Dylan’s bed, both with a different stance on the newly arisen situation. 

“I can’t. I feel like giving her a jolly good thrashing and I doubt I’d be able to stop myself, not tonight” Dylan mumbled. “I can’t believe she let this happen” 

“Dyl, it was a mistake. Think about it: before that scan, as far as she was concerned, she was a virgin. This is hardest on her” 

“Ally, just shut up and let me sleep. I need a bit of time to get my head around the fact that my baby is going to have a baby”

“Fine” Alaois climbed out of bed, pulling his dressing gown on. “I’ll go and talk to her then”

-

Alaois knocked on Benny’s door and opened it slowly. Benny shoved her face into the pillow when she heard the knocking, trying not to make a sound. Alaois shut the door and sat down on the edge of her bed. 

“I know you’re awake” 

Benny sat up slowly. It was obvious she’d been crying. The two of them were quiet for a moment. Alaois took hold of her hand, squeezing it gently. He watched her as she looked at their hands. His heart swelled with hurt as he watched her crumble before him and collapse into his arms. He held her tight, feeling quite desperate. He hadn’t felt like this in years. He dread to think how Benny was feeling. He’d never witnessed anyone cry in this way, and it was honestly quite scary. His heart was thumping and he could feel his pulse all over his body.

“It’s ok” He kissed her cheek and held her ever tighter, having started to cry himself. “It’s ok sweetheart, it’s ok” 

“I can’t believe this is happening!” She sobbed into his shoulder. “I’ve never seen him so disappointed..! He’s never going to forgive me for this” 

“Hey, hey don’t say that! Don’t say that, he’s just in shock” 

“How do you think I feel?!” she pulled away from him, but still held to his arms quite desperately. “I didn’t even know I’d had sex before. I still don’t quite believe it. I never asked for this! I never asked to get pregnant! How am I supposed to look after a baby?! What if I get attached and dad takes my baby away? What if Ethan leaves me? I don’t know what to do!”

“Hey, shh, don’t say things like that. There’s still a long time before the baby arrives, if you want it to. You don’t have to start talking about this stuff. Your dad will come round to the idea, and so will Ethan. And no matter what, I’ll support you, whatever happens” 

The blond had to stop, wiping the tears from his eyes and face and trying to compose himself. He was supposed to be the adult here - he wasn’t doing Benny any favours, crying like this. Benny was in a state, obviously unsure what to do with herself even in this moment, let alone in the long run. 

Alaois looked at her. She was still in her clothes, still with her plimsolls on her feet. He looked down at himself, in his joggers and t-shirt and dressing gown and slippers. He stood up and lifted Lofty into his arms. 

-

Alaois bundled Lofty into his hire car and strapping her in. Thankfully Ethan had stayed asleep as they’d snuck past, so they didn’t have any more problems to add to their trauma. 

-

Alaois took Lofty to a 24 hour cafe he’d frequented before he’d moved to Australia. They stayed there for a number of hours, talking and sometimes crying, while nursing hot drink after hot drink. 

“I think you’re in for a bit of an experience tomorrow” Alaois said, sounding nervous. “I think your father will want to confront you, and I don’t think he’ll be gentle... Before I came in to see you, he told me he wanted to thrash you...” 

“I’m surprised he didn’t” Benny said quietly, staring into her drink. “I’m relieved, mind, but surprised. I think, if Ethan’s mum wasn’t away and he wasn’t staying, then he would’ve done. So maybe that’s what I’ve got to look forward to when he’s gone” 

“I won’t let him hurt you over this” Alaois said, reaching across the table to hold her hand. “I never did like him hitting you, even if it’s not my business. You were such a tiny little girl; I always feared he might be too rough with you. He’s a hard man... But you’ve always been a proper little Englander, perfect stiff upper lip. It never seemed to have a huge effect on you” 

“Well there was never any reason to be affected by it, not really. It was just the alternative to time out or sweet restrictions. It’s never bothered me because he never really hurt me or gave me any reason to be scared of him. There were a couple of people in my year at school who were terrified of their parents, used to shake when they entered the room and stuff. I’ve never been scared of dad. We’ve always got on. Which is probably why this is so hard” 

“You were a right little daddies girl. Loved you to bits - still does. He always did his best by you. He didn’t come to Australia with me for your sake as well as his own. He didn’t want to uproot you, and he wanted a life in England for the both of you” Alaois said. “Of course he still kept in touch on a regular basis, but it was still hard on both of us when I moved”

“He’s never let me be alone” Benny said. “He’s always worked full time, but he always made sure Iain or Louise or Zoe or someone I was close to was there at my little school plays, or to take me to parties and appointments and everything like that” 

“He’s always done his best... I know me and you aren’t exactly on his good side right now, but when he warms to the idea, he’ll support your every move. And if you decide to have the baby, he’ll be a great grandad. We’ve just got to let the smoke settle first”

-

Alaois’s prediction about Dylan wanting to have it out with Lofty the next day was spot on. He sat Lofty and Ethan down at opposite ends of the sofa and had quite a lot to say for himself. Alaois sat at the breakfast bar, pretending the newspaper in front of him was distracting him from the altercation happening metres away from him.

“I still can’t believe I’m having to do this” Dylan said, exasperated. “How do you expect it’s going to work, Madam? How are you going to support a child? Oh exactly, you’re not: I’m going to have to pay for everything. Have you any idea how expensive babies are? Or how much care they need? And of course, it’ll have to be me looking after it, and then organising childcare when it’s old enough - which, might I add, is a nightmare in itself”

“You wouldn’t have to look after it” Benny’s voice shook as she spoke, and she could barely keep her eyes on her father for more than two seconds. “I can drop out of college-” 

“No you bloody well can’t!” Dylan shouted, make both Benny and Ethan flinch. “You are not going to put your future at risk all because of some stupid drunken mistake. And that goes for you as well, Ethan”

“Well why not?! It’s my mistake and it’d be my baby. I could go back to college when they start school” 

“It’s not as simple as that, and you know it. No, both of you are bright young people with brilliant careers ahead of you. I won’t let you jeopardise that. You’re still my daughter, and you will still do as I say. If I say you stay in college and get your diploma, you will bloody well stay there! Yes, you can have a few days rest here after the birth, but then you are straight back, catching up on work and completing this course. And you” he directed his attention to Ethan. “You will be there at the birth, and you will support this baby. I won’t let you walk away from this one” 

“Well maybe I don’t want the baby!” Benny shouted before Ethan could reply to Dylan. 

Dylan looked at her. “Well then you need to sit down with Ethan and have a proper talk and make a decision. This isn’t something you can sweep under the rug or keep putting off. Now, I need to go to the hospital for a few hours. By the time I get back, I want you to have made your decision: I want to know if I need to call in a favour and get you booked in for an abortion”

-

Ethan was frankly useless, and it was starting to annoy Alaois. 

“For the love of all that is good in this world, would you just talk to each other! Ethan, you haven’t said a word. This is your baby too, whether you like it or not” 

Benny stood up. “You know what? Fine. Obviously you don’t care about me or this baby, so you’re not gonna have a say in what happens! And you’re not to tell anyone about this” 

“W-w-wait, wait, I never said I don’t care!” Ethan said, grabbing her arm to stop her from leaving. “I just don’t know what to think. I don’t know how to be a dad” 

“Oh, and you think I know how to be a mother?!” It was getting harder for her to disguise her cries. “I’m the one with a little tadpole-y embryo thing swimming about inside me! No matter what I do, it’s still going to be me who gets the full effect of it”

Alaois made his move and caught her before she crumbled. “It’s your decision, at the end of the day”

“I just feel so overwhelmed by it all” she cried, clinging to him. “How am I supposed to decide something this big in a matter of hours?!” 

“Your dad shouldn’t try to rush you into this. He’ll probably have calmed down a bit once he’s had his hands on a good case in A&E. You’ll have a good chat at some point and you’ll feel a lot less horrible about everything”

They hugged in silence for about a minute before Benny pulled away. 

“I’m going to bed” She said, turning to go and shutting the sliding door to the hallway behind her, lest anyone try to follow her. 

Alaois looked over at Ethan. “You need to step up your game”

-

Ethan went into a bit of recluse. His phone was a little pay-as-you-go embarrassment and he was out of credit, so he couldn’t phone his mum like he wanted to. Plus, Benny had told him not to go spreading the news around, which was understandable. 

So he sat on the sofa, trying to become one with the armrest. He wanted to be with Benny, but she’d made it clear she wanted to be left alone. Alaois had just switched off his Call The Midwife boxset -, which seemed like an insensitive choice to begin with. He was now loading up some Hotel Hell on the planner. It was the quietest he’d seen him, and it was a little uncomfortable. Ethan supposed he wanted to take his mind off the current situation too. 

-

Dylan seemed quite relaxed when he got back from the hospital. 

“Good day at the office?” Alaois asked. 

“I’ve definitely had worse” he replied with a bit of a smile, taking his shoes off and hanging his coat up. “Benny!”

There was a bit of a thump and then the door to the corridor slid open. Benny lingered nervously in the doorway, waiting to see if she was going to get shouted at. 

“We need to tal-”

“I’m keeping the baby” 

Dylan was a little taken a-back by the sudden interruption. 

“Ok” he said gently. “Come to my room, sweetheart. Let’s talk properly” 

Benny wasn’t too sure, but Dylan put a hand on her back and sort of made her walk with him.

-

It felt almost like old times when the two of them were settled down on the king size bed together. 

“I understand why you were so angry and disappointed with me though”

“Good, but I’m still sorry about how badly I reacted” Dylan said, pulling her closer. “You’ll have another scan in about four weeks if you continue with the pregnancy. We’ll have to do everything properly” 

“You’re not going to tell everyone I’m pregnant, are you?” 

“No, that’s not up to me. Have you told anyone?”

Lofty bit her lip. “I told Iain. And Jac. But I don’t want to tell anyone else, not yet, anyway... Maybe when I’m four months or so..” 

“It’s up to you who knows and when” he found himself rubbing the girls stomach gently. “I’m too young to be a grandad”

“And I’m too young to be a mama, but here we are” she swallowed heavily. “Are you really going to look after the baby while I’m doing college and stuff?” 

“Definitely. You’ll just be starting your second year by the time baby is born. After you’ve finished college, maybe you can have a gap year to spend time working weeks and spending evenings and weekends with the baby before you start university” 

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you?” she said. 

“Well, one of the nurses fell ill halfway through dealing with a patient, so I had a good forty minutes suturing an unconscious patient for them” Dylan said. “It gave me a lot of time to work out some practicalities”

“So, you’re ok with me keeping the baby?” 

“Of course I am. How does Ethan feel about it?” 

“We haven’t really talked. I think he’s scared of the whole idea. He’ll come round eventually” she said. “It’ll just take time”

“Alright darlin’, I’m just going to-”

Benny slowly became aware of her surroundings, and in the sudden panic of it, she grabbed hard at the sleeve of The Stranger, half pushing them away and half clinging on. She could hear them trying to reassure and calm her, though the words seemed incomprehensible. She soon grew to recognise the voice. 

“Iain..?” 

“Yeah, it’s me, love. Try not to move - we need to finish getting you strapped to the board. You’ve had a crash” the paramedic told her. 

It took her a moment to remember exactly what had happened. She tried to keep still but still look around. She could see Alaois, speaking frantically to someone official-looking and obviously struggling to keep his eyes off her. 

“Where’s Ethan?” 

“He’s on the way to hospital with the other crew” Iain said. “We’ll be moving you shortly” 

“Is he ok?” 

“Lets just focus on you for the moment” he looked at his colleagues as they got into position to move their patient. “Ok, on lift. Ready, brace, lift”

-

Benny grew quite panicked in the ambulance, which wasn’t helped by Alaois who was in a similar state of mind for a number of reasons. He was still in shock from witnessing the accident, and from seeing the day suddenly being turned on his head. He’d only been back in England five minutes, and he’d already ended up putting Dylan’s beloved daughter in a situation which had ended in a disaster - and not to mention he’d put Ethan in the same boat.

-

As Iain turned the key in the ignition, the first crew unloaded their patient into A&E, starting their handover to the first doctor to greet them as others joined to lend a hand in the case. 

Dylan was one of these, and after a double-take, he was firmly aware of who this patient was. 

“Ethan? I thought you were with Lofty and Alaois today” 

“I was...”

-

Out of professional courtesy, Dylan took a back seat from Ethan’s treatment and returned to his patients in cubicles, making periodical voyages to the front desk on the lookout in case whatever had happened to Ethan had affected Lofty too. 

-

Dylan’s fears were confirmed around 25 minutes after Ethan’s arrival. For a while he was too caught up in shock and denial to move, but he managed to corner Alaois as Benny was taken into resus. 

“Are you hurt?” 

Alaois jumped, looking at Dylan in shock for a moment before shaking him head. 

“Good” 

Dylan dragged the blond into the (thankfully empty) staff room, shutting the door behind them. 

“What happened?” 

-

Although hesitant at first, Alaois explained everything to Dylan, unable to make eye contact throughout. Once he had finished, they stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. 

“I need to see my daughter”

-

Dylan went to resus, keeping his distance for a few moments at first, undetected. Benny’s neck had been cleared and was now without collar and board, which made her condition seem less serious. With this, he was able to attempt a scenario with a positive outcome. 

“I really can’t leave you alone for five minutes, can I?” he said as he approached the bed. 

“...There was a loose wheel... and the break wires snapped” She didn’t sound all there, which wasn’t surprising, given the circumstances. 

Having already conducted a primary survey, Dylan moved on to his secondary survey, which wasn’t very popular with Lofty, who was feeling quite battered. 

“They’ve already done this” she said, trying to push his hands away.

Dylan payed no mind, and continued, taking a glance at her notes afterwards. He was more than relieved to find that it was mainly heavy bruising and a few cuts. Yes, she’d been knocked out, but the CT was clear, so it could have been a lot worse. He did, however, had concerns about the bruising on her stomach.

“I think we should do an ultrasound, or at least a fast scan” 

“They’re waiting for the machine” she wasn’t interested in talking to Dylan, especially not about her injuries. “How’s Ethan?”

Dylan looked up from the file briefly. “I haven’t seen him since he was brought in” He went back to the notes.

“Can you go and get an update for me?” 

“I’d prefer to stay with you” 

Benny sat up, trying to mask the pain it caused her. Dylan barely looked at her. 

“Lay back down: you need to rest” he said. 

“No, I need to see how Ethan is” she tried to climb out of bed, but Dylan was very quick to stop her. 

“If you lie down and stop fussing, I’ll check on Ethan for you” 

Benny took a moment to think about it, and decided that was probably the best option. She wasn’t sure she wanted to see Ethan is he was in a bad way.

-

Dylan seemed to be gone for ages. Luckily Lofty was soon distracted by the ultrasound machine being wheeled in. She tried to stay still, but the pressure on her bruised stomach hurt quite a bit and she found herself grabbing at Louise’s hand for comfort. 

“I’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve ended up in here” Louise said, holding Lofty’s hand between both of hers. “We need to see each other off hospital premises a bit more, don’t you think?” 

“We could go to that cafe again.. The one that used to be a train” 

“Sorry” Connie interrupted them, having noticed something on the scan which she hadn’t expected. “Benny, I think you might be pregnant” 

-

The feeling that swept over her was like nothing she’d felt before. It was a lot of fear and nerves and confusion, and it was very hot and uncomfortable.

It took her a moment to formulate a reply. “Well that’s impossible; it must be something else” 

“I don’t think so” Connie turned the monitor so Lofty had a better view. “See this? You can already see the head. I’m not an expert at this, but I think you’re about seven weeks”

Benny pushed Connie’s hand away and sat up. “I don’t believe you. You must’ve seen it wrong; there’s no way in hell that I’m pregnant” 

“Benny, we’ll have your blood results back soon” Louise said, squeezing her hand. “They’ll confirm what we already know” 

“But it doesn’t make sense! Even if I was pregnant - and I’m not saying I am - how would it survive the crash?” 

“They can survive more than you’d imagine” Connie said. “We won’t tell Dylan, but you should really think about telling the baby’s father” 

“I’m not pregnant! I don’t care what the scan says, there’s no way - I mean, I’m on the pill! And even if I wasn’t, I’ve never even had sex before”

Connie and Louise looked at each other, and then back at Benny. 

“I know you’re in denial, but lying about your sexual history isn’t going to change anything” Louise said. 

Benny was growing frustrated. “I’m not lying! I think I’d remember if I’d been having a bit of the ol’ leg-over, wouldn’t you?” 

Connie almost laughed, but was careful not to. “You really are your father’s daughter, aren’t you?”

-

Dylan came back into resus with Ethan. He had his arm in a sling and was bruised and visibly shaken, but since he was out of bed, at least they knew there was nothing serious. Plus, he was in his own clothes, so at least he’d been discharged.

“Ethan..” She felt quite relieved to hug him, but it wasn’t long before she broke free and asked her dad to leave. “I need to talk to Ethan”

Dylan respected her decision and left. Lofty looked at Connie. 

“I don’t know if I can tell him” 

“Would you like me to tell him for you?” When Lofty nodded, Connie addressed Ethan. “Ethan, we did an ultrasound to check for internal bleeding. Luckily it was clear on that front, but we found something else: Benny is pregnant” 

Ethan didn’t speak for a good thirty seconds, much less look at his girlfriend. Eventually he swallowed heavily. 

“Well that solves the mystery from the party then” 

“What party was this?” Connie asked. 

Now was Benny’s turn to neglect eye contact. “It was a friends sixteenth, and the only non-alcoholic thing in the house was water and we were all close and we all went overboard” 

“We were both so drunk, we couldn’t really remember much” Ethan added. 

“Yeah... Well I don’t remember going upstairs, but we woke up in bed and we weren’t exactly dressed... But we’d fallen asleep wearing next to nothing before so even though we thought we might have done it, um, well, we didn’t really consider it properly cos we were confused and couldn’t remember anything about it” She wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. “I still don’t understand. Ok, so obviously we had sex, but I’m on the pill” 

“You were on your period that week” Ethan said. “You nearly backed out of going, remember?” 

Benny nodded, turning to Louise. “Can you go and get my dad?”

-

Dylan was on the sofa in the staff room with Alaois. They’d gotten over their shouting match and blame-game, and had settled into talking things through in a more civilised manner. 

“You know I never would’ve taken them if I’d known they were at risk. I’ve lived next to a track ever since I moved to Oz and we’ve never had any accidents since I’ve lived there” 

“I know. I was just scared. You were always great with her before, no matter what I said. I’m sorry for everything I said. And I’m sorry I hit you. I know Benny wouldn’t blame you” Dylan said. 

“What did Ethan’s mum say?” 

“She’s relieved it was just bruises and a sprained wrist. She can’t really get away from her work trip for another four or five days, so she’s happy for me to look after him for the time being” 

They were interrupted by Louise appearing at the door. “You’re wanted in resus” 

-

It wasn’t until after he’d slapped her that Dylan realised what he’d done. It felt like an instinct. 

“How could you be so careful and stupid?! And this goes for you as well” he snapped, glaring at Ethan. “You’re sixteen. You’re sixteen, and you’re going to have a baby. You’re only a kid yourself!” 

“Dylan, stop it” Alaois said. “You don’t know the situation yet” he looked over at Connie. “Fill us in?” 

Connie did so, and Alaois was quick to cut in before Dylan had a chance. He gave Benny a hug and kept hold of her hand when he moved back. 

“It was a mistake, granted. But it’s still a lot to get your head around and it’s not something to be ashamed of” Alaois said. “Whatever you decide to do, we’ll all be here to support you. Won’t we, Dylan?” 

“If you’re ready to be discharged, we’re going home” Dylan said, turning on his heel and storming out of resus.

-

Lofty felt devastated by Dylan’s reaction, and Ethan was filled with shame, which made him feel even worse. For the first time, he dreaded staying at the boat. 

Alaois took on the role of supportive parent and helped Benny to get changed and compose herself. His heart was thumping like anything and he wanted to start the waterworks himself. 

-

What followed was a highly uncomfortable car journey. Benny and Ethan sat in the back unable to look at each other, and Alaois sat in the passenger seat unable to look at Dylan. It was going to be a difficult few months.

“Fancy going on the swings?” 

“Uh, I’m sixteen. Plus, it’s really busy” Lofty said, carrying on down the path quite quickly.

“Aww, you used to love the swings!” Alaois said, jogging a little to catch up with her. “I don’t suppose you come here much any more” 

“Well, we were here a couple of weeks ago” She said, stopping and turning back. “Ethan, keep up!” 

Ethan did a little jog to her side. “Sorry, my shoe came undone...”

“Yeah, cos you don’t double-knot them” she rolled her eyes. “But yeah, we had a water fight here a while ago, us and a bunch of people from school. It was good until dad showed up” 

Ethan nodded. “He wasn’t too happy. Because Lofty had run away”

Lofty gave him a shove. “Hey, you know the full story - don’t turn me into the bad guy” 

Alaois carefully moved them apart. “You’ll have to tell me. Don’t start fighting while I’m here though - I see enough of that at home!”

-

It was nearing the end of August, but, having become accustomed to the Australian heat over the past 12 years, Alaois was wearing a jacket. Benny, on the other hand, was wearing hot pants and a strappy top, and Ethan was in shorts. He looked at them, almost laughing as they sprung up in goosebumps from the air conditioning inside the cafe.

“I don’t suppose your father ever considered coming over to the land down under, did he?” Alaois asked. 

Lofty shrugged. “He’s never mentioned it. He doesn’t like the heat much. Like me” 

“And me” Ethan said. “It makes me feel queasy” 

“So do diving boards” 

Alaois laughed. “You certainly got your father’s skill for snide remarks, didn’t you?” he shook his head fondly. “You’ve come out with some right crackers, and I only got here the other night!” 

Benny smiled somewhat smugly. “Well, it’s all part of my natural charm” 

“Well you’re not lacking in that department” Ethan said.

It was Benny’s turn to laugh then. “Smooth as f- uh. Yeah” 

“Ohh, daddy’s got you well trained then”

“Shut up, Alaois” she shot back, but not nastily. “Anyway, where are we going?” 

“Oh you’ll see. I need to pick up the hire car first”

-

Benny suddenly got very excited when they parked up outside the go-karting track. 

“I haven’t been go-karting since the residential we went on in year six! This is so cool!” 

“Haha, I live right near one in Oz. I spend a lot of time there cos my mate owns it” Alaois smiled. He turned to Ethan. “Ever done go-karting?” 

Ethan nodded. “Well, uh, only the ones with pedals, like bikes. I kept crashing into the barriers with it”

-

Even Ethan started feeling a little giddy with excitement as they got strapped into their helmets.

“I’m driving” Lofty said.

“Oh. Right, but I want to do the last few laps, ok?”

Lofty nodded in agreement.

“Ay, don’t you go hoggin’ the wheel the whole time, little miss” Alaois said, giving her a poke. “Didn’t our Dylan ever teach you how to share?”

“Biscuits and go-karts are on different ends of the spectrum”

-

Alaois stopped in shock for a moment.

“Oi, this isn’t the dodgems!”

Benny merely laughed and resisted the urge to give him the middle finger.

“I saw that” Ethan said.

“Saw what?” Lofty asked, swerving past Alaois’s kart.

“You almost making gestures at him. Your dad would’ve killed you”

“Maybe, but only if he found out about it”

She slammed on the brakes to avoid smashing into a younger kid with his dad, resulting in herself and Ethan having a bit of a jolt. 

“Ow” Ethan mumbled, adjusting his helmet. “Are you alright?”

Lofty nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

Ethan nodded, and Lofty smiled at him and set off again. The kart suddenly felt rather unstable and they both noticed, but neither of them said anything. 

-

For a few laps they got on with it, but it started getting a little more unstable and it made Ethan start to feel nervous. He put a hand on Lofty’s arm. 

“I feel a bit sick. I think we should stop the go-kart” 

Lofty nodded, easing the break down. The kart carried on, so she slammed the break down in a similar manner to how she had done earlier. Still the kart failed to stop.

“What the-” 

She looked down at the pedals in confusion and frustration. 

“Benny!” 

Having her eyes on the pedals meant she wasn’t aware of the track, and by the time she looked up everything blurred with the force of the collision against the barrier.

Dylan was sat on the sofa with his laptop and a glass of brandy when he heard the door open and slam shut. 

“Hey, you’ll take it off its hinges if you’re not careful, Benny!” he was in a good mood, and he turned to look at her. She rushed by, forcing him to turn the other way. “Benny?” 

Dylan shut his laptop and put down his glass. “Benny!”

He moved his laptop aside and went out into the corridor. He knocked gently on his daughters bedroom door. 

“Benny?” 

“Go away!” came the muffled reply.

Dylan sighed heavily, but silently, closing his eyes for a moment. He left it, went out to the kitchen and switched the kettle on.

-

Dylan held both mugs in one hand and knocked on Lofty’s door again. There was no protest, so he opened the door slowly and shut it behind him. Lofty was face-down on her bed, her face buried in the pillow and her skirt rucked up in an undignified manner. 

Dylan put both mugs down on the bedside table. 

“You’re not preserving your dignity too well” he said softly, pulling her skirt right.

She suddenly pushed herself up, turning to look at him.

“I was four dad!” She cried. “I was four! Why is it ruining things now?!” 

Dylan looked at her. “What do you mean? What’s happened? You’ve been looking forward to tonight for all week” 

“Yeah, I know, but it had to be ruined, didn’t it?” 

Dylan made her sit up and sat beside her, much to her annoyance. 

“Tell me what happened. In your own time”

She managed to stop crying just enough to speak. 

“Everything was going so well. We went back to his and we started messing about and stuff, and he wanted to go further, so, so well, y’know, and then, and then he saw” she wiped the tears away with the heel of her hand, the look on his face coming back to her. “He didn’t even listen to me. He just kept shouting and saying stuff... He said no one could ever love me with something like that” 

It took Dylan a moment to register what she was referencing. “Wait, do you mean your old scar from getting that lump removed?” 

The way she started crying more and covering her mouth with her hands was enough of an answer. 

“Oh sweetheart. Come here” he reached for top button, and she flinched a bit and grabbed his hands. “Hey, sh, sh, sh, it’s ok”

He undid her shirt and slipped it off her shoulders. It was apparent then how things had gone. There were red marks on her upper left arm where she’d obviously been grabbed. She’d obviously been in a rush to get out of there, as her bra wasn’t exactly on properly, and he’d noticed her shirt hadn’t been buttoned up right either. Lofty apparently became aware of this, and reached back to do up the other two clips. The motion perfectly displayed the old scar under her left arm. 

“It’s a little red. You should’ve told me”

“I think it’s just because I’ve been scratching it a bit” Lofty mumbled, wiping her eyes. “I got a bug bite. It gets a bit red sometimes anyway, like if it’s been hot”

“Benny, what are you thinking right now? About your scar, I mean?” 

Lofty swallowed, not making eye contact. “That he’s right... That no one is gonna love a girl with an ugly scar like this. He said other stuff about me too. Like that I obviously needed a decent razor as well as concealer for the scar”

“Uh, has he ever seen a man?” Dylan said, he pulled up his trouser leg a bit. “Most men look like this. They’ve no right to go policing women about it. Wait, did you say he told you to get concealer to cover that?” 

Benny nodded. “He said I should’ve at least had cosmetic surgery...”

-

Dylan stared at her in shock for a moment. “Benny Louise Chiltern, I want you to listen to me now, ok? Anyone who says anything like that to you, anyone who treats you like that, especially over a tiny scar like this, is unworthy of you. He doesn’t deserve to even be thought of. Don’t dignify him with your tears like this. He’s obviously scum, by the sounds of everything you’ve told me just now. Having good looks doesn’t mask a personality as ugly as that” 

“I still think he’s right” Tears started to fall down her cheeks again.

Dylan stood up, making Lofty stand up too. “Right, come on” 

“Dad! I-” 

“Shush” he brought her up in front of the mirror, standing behind her and keeping hold of her. “Come on, what do you see?” 

“Dad, don’t! I look terrible when I’ve been crying”

“That’s not the point. Come on” he took her left hand carefully, holding her arm up. “Is it obvious?”

“Dad!” 

“Well, is it? We’ve been here before” 

“Dad, don’t do this!” she pulled free, turning to face him. “Don’t you think I’ve been through enough today?!”

“Yes, and I want you to know that there’s no reason for you to believe what some scumbag said to you” he said, a hand on either side of her face. “He’s nothing. You shouldn’t believe what one person said to you. You’re too important to be taken down by people like that. Do you remember us in front of this mirror before because of your scar?”

Lofty broke down and fell against his chest, clinging to him tight. Dylan hugged her, trying to calm her sobs and continue to repress his own tears further. 

“Don’t make me think of it” she cried against him. “All of that... I think I remember more than you think I do. I can remember the needles and the pain and everything. I don’t want to think of the chemo again” 

“Ok sweetheart. Ok” 

-

Dylan sat down on the floor with Lofty in front of him, leaning against him once she’d calmed down a bit. Her old toy diplodocus was within arms reach. He grabbed it and handed it to her, and she held it against her herself. She looked up, looking at their reflection in the full length mirror. It was a familiar sight. 

“You told me off back then, do you remember? Because I was upset about it and you were trying to explain that it was the scar or my life. And I said I wished it was my life” 

Dylan rested his head against hers. “You were so little. So young. It was horrible hearing you say something like that. I think it was just because you were sore and scared. I never meant to tell you off. It just happened” 

“We did this when I was out of hospital again after the op, didn’t we?” 

“Yeah, we did. You had your new pyjamas on, little pink silky ones that Connie had bought you as a get well soon present” Dylan said. “You were still feeling poorly and confused. I don’t know how well you’ll remember the times we did this before your diagnosis. I even did this with you when you were a baby. I’m not sure why” 

“So, why did you do it that night?” Lofty asked. 

“Well I know why: because I wanted to show you that nothing had changed. Not where I was concerned. I wanted to show you that I still loved you just as much as before, if not more” 

“I can remember it. I can’t really remember exactly what you said. I remember bits, but I can’t work out how to get them from my mind to my mouth. I remember you calling it my lifeline. You said it a lot” 

“Well, it is, essentially” Dylan said. “It’s like I used to tell you: it was a scar or your life. You mentioned that, didn’t you?” 

Lofty nodded. She was quiet for quite a while, relaxing as Dylan cuddled her. She could remember doing this with Dylan when his old boyfriend was still around, and many times since. She always saw a different side to her father while they did this. He seemed to forget his reflection was visible to her, and she could read his emotions clearly from it. 

“Ethan said it was proof I was a fighter” she said, making Dylan jump a little as she broke the long silence. She shivered a little. 

“I think you should get your shirt back on now. And I think that tea has gone cold now. I’ll stick the kettle on, ok?” 

-

Lofty suddenly felt very alone when Dylan had left the room. She tried to cling onto the warm feeling she had had just moment ago. She looked at the shirt on her bed, and then at everything she was wearing. She picked up her phone, deleting all the texts and blocking the number of the “date” she’d had. She wanted no trace of him in her life, down to any fingerprints he may have left on her clothes. She stripped off and threw everything into the dirty washing basket. It was Sunday, so they’d all be washed tomorrow evening. She could live with that. She pulled on some shorts and found some cute pyjamas in the back of her drawer that she hadn’t worn for months, and slung those on, along with her silk dressing gown. She grabbed her diplodocus and went out into the living room.

-

Dylan smiled at her when she came in, coming over and handing her a mug of tea. 

“Earl Grey” he said. “Thought I’d treat you” 

“Thank you” she smiled, sitting down on the sofa. Dylan sat beside her, and she looked at his mug. “Have you got the same?”

“No, just the usual Yorkshire for me”

Lofty looked at him as she drank. Dylan noticed. He didn’t say anything, but he put his arm round her shoulders. 

“I love you, dad” 

Dylan stopped mid sip. “I love you too”

-

The doorbell rang just as they were finishing their drinks. 

“That’ll be for you” 

Lofty looked at him for a second. She set her mug down and went to open the door. 

She was almost knocked over by the force of the blond jumping at her for a hug. She heard the thunk of his glasses as they hit the floor, and she finally registered who it was and hugged him back, starting to cry again.

“I told him everything” Dylan said, getting up to shut the door. “I hope you don’t mind”

She didn’t. She was too happy with Ethan to be bothered. 

“And I told Boris” Ethan said, stepping back from the hug, but keeping his hands on her waist. 

“What? Why Boris?” 

“Because he loves you as much as I do, and he’ll sort out the bastard” 

Lofty couldn’t help but laugh. She kissed him and stepped back, picking up his glasses and handing them to him.

“Thank you”

“Wait a minute, it’s a Sunday night. You mum’ll go spare” 

Ethan shook his head. “Oh, no, our parents sorted it, kinda, so I’m staying here for the night. I think you could do with the company, by the sounds of it”

-

Lofty was feeling very emotional and had a bit of a cry about Ethan being there. She loved him so much, and she loved that Dylan liked him too and treated him like part of the family. Ethan was a bit of a one when it came to Lofty’s tears, and he started blubbing too. Dylan hugged them both.

“You big softy, Ethan” he said. “Do we need to put on an old video to settle the pair of you down? Another cup of tea wouldn’t hurt either”

-

Dylan made them both a cup of tea while Lofty dug out the old Bagpuss video. 

Dylan sat with them for a while. They spent about an hour curled up together on the sofa. Ethan started to drop off first, at which point Dylan switched the telly off. 

“Ok you two, bed now, please” he said softly. “I’ve got work tomorrow and you’ve both got school. A good nights sleep is in order”

-

Obedient as always, Ethan was first to be ready, even though Lofty was already in her pyjamas. Dylan decided she needed the extra TLC tonight and gave her a big cuddle and tucked her in, as well as Ethan. As usual, they were happy sharing the single bed. 

“Goodnight you two”

“Goodnight” 

Ethan waited for the door to close, and kissed Lofty, snuggling close to her. 

“I love you so much” 

“I love you too... Thank you”

“For what?” 

Lofty shrugged. “Everything, I suppose. You’re always so lovely to me.What did I do to deserve someone like you?”