#oldage

ढलती उमर भी ढलती शामों से पाकीज़ा होगी,

कांपते होठ, धीमी धड़कनों का डर भी गुमशुदा होगी,

जिस तरह आज सुबह तुमने सूरज से पहले मुझे चूमा,

क्या उसी तरह , मेरी आखरी नींद में साथ दोगी ?

“Młodość to kapryśny przyjaciel. Możesz mu poświęcić wszystko, a i tak Cię porzuci. Prawdziwy przyjaciel to starość. Nie opuści Cię, dając z siebie coraz więcej i więcej, aż do dnia twej śmierci.”

    Seated in the doctor’s office I peeked over my magazine, causing the collage of perfume bottles to distort until they resembled vague, pastel coloured light-bulbs clustered at the brim of my vision. Across me slouched a woman with a house shaped cage on her lap, a string of drool snailing down her chin as she snored. I made a face at her green-cheeked conure as it inched down its tightrope towards me, bobbing its head. The middle-aged man a few seats down, his cowboy hat flipped over his eyes, fanned himself with a lung disease brochure even though the air conditioning had been set to blast. My eyes followed their thought bubbles as they bounced off the oily walls and popped. The severed letters puffed up to the ceiling in a cloud of confetti, mundane details they’d already forgotten. The parakeet’s thoughts were less entertaining, a string of staccatos that fizzled out before they could even form. 

maybe it was the twinkle in your eyes, or the sweetness of your voice, or perhaps the softness of your hands that captured jeonghan’s heart—the angel, who once swore to the heavens that love is not something he would like to gamble with.

a man of his word, that was what the celestial ones used to call him. he held his promises dearly, and the darkest of secrets never ever escaped past his lips.

until you came.

it was a bright sunday afternoon. jeonghan, in his human form, wandered the premises of a small cozy town. flower petals filled the rough sidewalks, dried up leaves littered the roofs of each house, and puddles of water surrounded the tall trees that loomed over the tiny shelters. jeonghan loved it.

and he loved it even more when his eyes landed on you.

there you were, clad in white, small flowers laying on top of your head as if they were made by the heavens particularly for you. in your fist was a small book, and it seemed old by the way the cover was on the brink of falling, but you held it fragile like it was glass. your eyes sparkled with mirth as you carefully scanned the words, and jeonghan could not just stop himself from looking.

you did not notice him until you looked up from your book, the sound of the pages coming together bringing jeonghan back to his senses. the first thing he did was to shoot you a small smile, his fingers crossed behind him as he waited for your response—although a voice in the back of his head demanded him to run and save himself from embarrassment. 

unexpectedly, before he could run away and let fear get the best of him, you flashed him a smile too.

“what’s an angel doing here?” 

jeonghan was supposed to go back to the heavens that same night, and yet he found himself sitting beside you, listening to the origin of your ability to see non-humans. your voice was like honey, and the smile that accompanied it was one that he’d like to take a photograph of and boast to each and every celestial being.

and from then on, his visits to the mortal world became more frequent. his nights have gotten warmer, and your bright eyes have been the only ones keeping him sane. with you by his side, he knew nothing could go wrong.

-

“i love you.” you murmur in between short intakes of air, clasping jeonghan’s hands as he shed tears to the sight of your fragile body.

there you lie, eyes dull and desperate, pleading for the heavens to grant your sweet angel only the happiest days when you finally succumb to the darkness. 

“i love you so much.” jeonghan cries, holding your hands even tighter now.

you flash him a smile. 

any minute now, you’ll belong to another body. your memories will just be untold stories, and you’ll have to live another youth filled with countless uncertainties. 

“promise me you’ll find someone and be happier with them?” you manage to say, a chortle escaping your throat as the surroundings get hazier—the silence becoming even more comforting. 

and in an instant, your hands fall out of jeonghan’s grasp. 

a man of his word, the heavens said. but as he watches you drift into permanent sleep, he finds himself shaking his head to your last words.