#okcryptid app

OkCryptid- Isthantari Edition and Monster March Day 5- Insect- Jika Intergalactic space aliens that are insectoids. 

Lexi and Jaxx

“Come on Lexi, it’s gonna be fun,” Beth urged you as you stared at the app on your phone. 

Trepidation wasn’t the only feeling swimming in your head. Fear and disappointment were heavy too and you worried that no being in any universe was going to want you. Because the thought of shouldering another rejection was almost more than you could bear. You- who had never had a steady boyfriend since oh, never.  

But with more nagging from Beth, you begrudgingly downloaded the app OkCryptid and set up a dating profile on it and used the most flattering picture that Beth’s family photographer had taken of you this past year since her family had one big family set of pictures along with individual pictures so that the pictures on all of their many varieties of couture business cards would be current and "up to date". 

And since you had come with Beth for that. Beth paid for the photographer and his crew to do the same for you along with glamor shots of yourself after her family’s pictures were done. And you had to admit, they were very well done and you did look like a plus sized model after. But considering Beth’s natural supermodel looks and physique it was rather impossible to feel pretty when a goddess like her was next to you and in your presence all the time. 

But back to the current predicament. Beth helped you put your first message on there- to explain that what you were looking for- was a date for Saturday night at Deep Sound for Beth’s birthday party she was having with her friends that evening since she would spending brunch with her family and get her birthday presents from them then. 

Deep Sound- was a bar and nightclub. Situated on top of a brand new skyscraper where all the other species in the universe met the residences of Earth and mingled and thanks to the city’s world and intergalactic market- Astris- that was right across the street. The nightclub could offer the best fare Earth had to offer as well as the best fare from all the other galaxies since it was situated between all the boroughs where different species liked to keep themselves to in the city.  

Beth, which was short for Bethsabinerada, she was half high elf and half Cerulian. And tall and slim and lithe and practically perfect in any universe. And she had no shortages of drop dead gorgeous men who would give their right nut to be with her. But she was putting off any serious relationship for the sake of having fun in her young adulthood. Only something the rich, young and beautiful could really afford to do. 

Her mother was a Cerulean aristocrat and ambassador to Earth which is how her parents met. And her father was a high elf and a ceo and on any number of councils. But Beth was the youngest of their children. Her brothers and sisters had already gotten married and began to have kids. So being the baby, she was especially spoiled. At least in the sense that her parents paid for the vast majority of her very lavish lifestyle. Including this fabulous apartment that was right in between a high elf borough and a Cerulian one since the two species had a lot of the same looks, aestetics and culture. But Ceruleans, being aliens, were also other worldly and ethereal in naturally spectacular good looks. 

The apartment itself was quite large and was richly furnished. With enormous closets that were still stuffed to the brim with Beth’s extensive clothing collection, using one of the spare bedrooms as a whole wardrobe and vanity with her expensive makeup collection. Plus her parents paid for all of her credit cards and vehicles which she just got her new set of vehicles as an early birthday present just a few days prior.

You on the other hand, got her ‘hand me downs’. As in beauty products, makeup, vehicles, luggage, furniture and the like. Except for clothes. Which if you were a third or even a quarter of your size, maybe you had a hope of fitting into them. But her parents viewed you - as her live in, platonic body guard. Because you were protective, big and strong. But because you were female, you posed no threat of impregnating their daughter or eloping with her either. Because both of you were attracted to men and still best friends since childhood, and you were sensible and ‘motherly’ and made sure she didn’t get in too much trouble. Or at least any trouble that her parent’s couldn’t get her out of.

Cerulians were known for being rather ugly as kids and going through an ugly duckling phase as tweens and then once they became middle teens and older, suddenly they got prettier and prettier and prettier before peaking at 30. And Beth was 28, about to be 29. And because you had befriended her even when she was “ugly and awkward”. Since you had gone to school together as young children and once she befriended you, she made sure you were always at whatever school her parents put her into. You got to go to her school on a scholarship for sports since you were one of the few female sumo wrestlers at the time. And that’s where you met and befriended her, and you got to enjoy her lavish lifestyle with her as an adult because you had been close ever since. 

You on the other hand, had orc in your blood from your father’s side. So while you looked mostly human. You were big, strong and muscular and bulky and far from dainty or petite, all your life. And you worked so hard to be as feminine as possible as a late teen and early adult. But it didn’t matter how much makeup you put on, or how you did your hair, or how often you got your nails done, or what pretty, flowery dresses you put on, or what uncomfortable heels you squeezed your fat feet into. It didn’t seem to make much of a difference when you were usually were twice as big and three times as strong as most guys. That usually deterred them because they felt emasculated by you. 

Whatever. Their problem, not yours. 

But because of Beth’s status in high society. You felt incredibly alienated in this plush, lavish lifestyle you enjoyed with Beth. Everyone always wanted to be Beth’s friend. And her pretty, rich and fabulous friends that she had made as an adult, simply put up with you. Because you were Beth’s friend and they benefited from the protection you offered from certain predatory types of men. That, and you could hold your own and your liquor really well. Often you carried Beth and the other lightweights out of certain places and into a ride to get you all home when the group would go out partying. You were the “responsible one” that everyone’s parents loved and admired and trusted implicitly, especially Beth’s.  

Still, you didn’t understand how you live in a city so big with so much diversity yet still be all alone most of the time.  

Beth though, both despite and because of all of this. She was incredibly sweet, kind, loving and very protective of you in her own way. She made sure you never really spent any money you earned. That you saved all you could because she knew that her lifestyle wasn’t going to last forever. When she would turn 30 in just a short year. She would be given- one year exactly- to either find Mr. Right or have him chosen for her by her parents and settle down and start a family immediately. However, all of Beth’s siblings, relied on their parents to find them mates from across the galaxy. Especially since they were already deep into business and or politics when they became of age or even sooner. Beth, however, wanted to be different. So she got a “light” job that she didn’t need to be that involved in. So she didn’t have to rely on her parents to find her a mate, so that she could choose for herself. Even as daunting as that was from her overwhelming plethora of options. 

Meanwhile your parents didn’t seem to care one way or another. As long as you were happy, that’s all they cared about. Every time you went out, she “paid” for everything and took care of you. Because you had always taken care of her and she made sure you knew and felt- that you were her favorite person in the universe. And her one true, genuine friend who always had her back and so she always had yours. And she also managed to have her parents pay off all your debt, and school loans and other “incidental expenses”.  And her gifts to you were actually stocks in all of her family businesses so that your investment portfolio matched hers. And once she would eventually find Mr. Right and marry and settle down, it was you who was going to keep the apartment. And it's furnishings as her last gift to you. 

It was clear to everyone, especially her family, that you were her favorite person to spoil. And she made sure that you were taken care of too and always invited to everything she was invited too. And if you weren’t, she didn’t feel the need to go and wasn’t shy about her displeasure at your own uninvited status. And made sure she mentioned it to her socialite friends and family. Once people got that message that they couldn’t have Beth without you. All the invitations started to have your name on them too, right under Beth’s name of course. Beth also used how her dates treated you to gauge whether or not they were worth her time. Because how her dates treated you indicated how they usually viewed and treated women they weren’t attracted to and if they even looked at you wrong, they got kicked to the curb and immediately blocked.  

But it sucked all the same. You were quintessentially the “fat, ugly friend” not that you felt that you were ugly but others treated you that way and you hated it no matter how much you genuinely cared for, loved and adored Beth. 

“Come on, everyone else has dates for the night, even if it’s just one night, dance, have fun, drink, live a little.” She encouraged you before you hit the button that officially introduced your profile onto the app- OkCryptid. 

Within just a moment, you had a few matches and one message in your DM’s from a prospective candidate and your jaw dropped as did Beth’s. 

“Oh no way! You got a doctor!” She cheered excitedly. 

“Of what?” You asked as you clicked on his profile. 

Dr. Jaxx Kizu, was a biochemical engineer on Jazine Prime. Which was the Jika ship that hovered over the city and he worked with Zie Pharmaceuticals, well damn. And he was messaging you!

“Damn girl, count me jealous.” Beth laughed. 

Your hands got clammy and your cheeks grew flushed and your heart drummed in your chest. You were both excited yet...strangely dreadful at the prospect of another disappointment. 

“Well answer him!” Beth encouraged you as you opened the message and read it again. 

‘Greetings, my name is Dr. Jaxx Kizu, I understand from your message you’re looking for a companion to celebrate a friend’s birthday?’ He messaged you. 

‘Yes’ you replied. 

‘Well if you would like, I would enjoy the privilege of going with you to your friend’s birthday celebration. I can meet you there or I can pick you up at another location, perhaps a restuarant for dinner- since the time of the celebration is late at Deep Sound. Whichever you prefer.’ Jaxx messaged you back. 

“He’s awfully formal.” You murmured to Beth who eagerly read the message from her spot next to you on the couch. 

“He’s a Jika, they’re all a bit robotic. But they’re nice! And super helpful and respectful too. Well, when they’re not in an army trying to either conquer or take over a planet. But otherwise they are very proper and courteous, nothing wrong with that.” Beth reasoned. 

“And tall! Have you seen them? Most of them are like 7 feet tall. And he’s actually cute. Look, if you look closely. He’s actually a little different in looks to a normal drone. Drones are all cookie cutter but look, he’s different! Even his colors are different, his black has a purple sheen too- instead of green so maybe he’s a different class of Jika. See? I told you- this was going to work out. You weren't on that app- five minutes and you have a date for Saturday and you have all week to talk to him and get to know him a little bit before then. Trust the process.” She urged you. 

“Fine.” You conceded. 

“Thank you!” She hugged and kissed your cheek. 

“Now I gotta go, I’ll be late for work.” She saw herself out of your shared apartment. 

‘Actually, do you mind if we meet up for coffee on Wednesday?’ You asked as you winced as you typed in the messsage. 

‘I’d love to. Do you know where Booker and Loke’s is? I really like their coffee.’ He messaged back. You had heard of Booker and Loke’s. They were supposed to have really good coffee that was sustainably sourced that reinvested a good portion of the sales back into the farmers and the environment. 

‘Sure, what time?’ You agreed. 

‘Whatever time works best for you, I have all availability.’ He responded. 

‘How about 9?’ You suggested. That would give you time to get home and changed from your scrubs you wore to work and you could get a tea because they were supposed to have awesome tea there so you could enjoy the date and then go home and get some sleep before work Wednesday night. 

‘Splendid, looking forward to meeting you in person at 9am, on Wednesday, September 16th at Booker and Loke’s.’ He replied. 

‘See you then.’ You blew out breath as your heart continued to pound in your chest. Well, if he took one look at you and decided against it, at least he wouldn’t embarrass you in front of everyone by standing you up on Beth’s birthday, again. Like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. And if he decided against it, at least you would have a chance to find a replacement with the other matches you had just gotten. But none of them were messaging you. 

But this was your first date with a Jika. So you were going to hope for the best and be prepared for the worst. But right now, you needed to get some sleep before tonight as you got a shower and blacked out your room and played your customized playlist of sleep music on and took a special gummy to help you sleep and you were out like a light only half an hour later.  

“So? How are things with Jaxx?” Beth asked you when she got home from work just as you were about to go into work yourself for the night.

“We’re meeting for coffee on Wednesday.” You answered. 

“Wow, that good- huh?” She smiled brightly. 

“I guess we’ll see.” You shrugged as you grabbed your things and left to go to the hospital to work as a medical coder for the night. Beth was a receptionist at a high end spa- Via- during the day. Which meant that your apartment was filled with products from the spa and also why she always looked like a million bucks because she got free treatments at “work”. Lucky. 

You on the other hand always came into work with two days worth of work load on your shared desk. That you shared with the girl who did your job during the day and she did so little. But you were sure she was fucking the boss and could get by with doing the bare minimum and leaving you with the lion’s share of the work. 

But, it was gainful employment and the benefits were nothing to shake a stick at. Like really good health insurance, vision, dental, 401k, stock options, the whole 9 yards. And it paid pretty well and you were good at it. And it physically wasn’t very demanding. And you were a natural night owl anyway- and you liked how peaceful things were in the office while you worked. No patients, no doctors or nurses, just you and your work mates who loved to talk shit and gossip about the day shift and the doctors in the office. All while listening to good music and eat at your desks as long as you cleaned up after yourself. And usually the nights flew by because you were having fun. That and your work mates were awesome. Your very few ‘friends’ outside of Beth and her own friends. But they usually had their own families and lives outside of this and you rarely got a chance to socialize outside of work because of the hours. 

You came into work and got settled in before you noticed someone had put out a bowl of candy and grabbed a handful. 

“Nice, thanks for the sugar whoever brought it in.” You called out as you logged in. 

“You’re welcome.” Sydney answered from across the desk as you could hear her fingers typing at a frantic pace. 

“I swear it’s like they didn’t do jack shit today.” Alex growled from her computer as she furiously typed on her computer too. 

“You’d think we’d grow used to it by now.” You murmured tiredly as you looked at your work load and just shook your head before you bluetooth-ed your music to the speakers. 

“Ah, finally, good music.” Sydney sighed in relief. 

“I have carbs!” Samantha crooned as she came in with a box of bagels and a stack of cream cheese containers. 

“Yay!” You all cheered before you paused to get the day old bagels and doughnuts that Samantha brought in. She worked two jobs, the closing evening shift at a bakery and whatever didn’t sell she loaded up and brought into work as a medical coder. 

“Dibs on a cherry cheese crown!” You insisted before you snatched one of the few that were there before the others were quickly taken up. 

“So? Anything new? Any plans this weekend?” Sydney asked. And while normally, you’d keep your mouth shut, but you wanted input on this Jika situation. 

“I have a date.” You revealed which caused the others to gasp excitedly. 

“With who?!” They pressed eagerly. 

“A Jika doctor. Beth twisted my arm to get OkCryptid so we could get dates for her birthday on Saturday and we got matched and he messaged me about it first.” You volunteered. 

“Oh, well all the Jika are nice because of the hive mind and all. A bit stiff, formal and robotic because of it too. But nice. I’m sure you’ll have fun and if he’s a doctor, at least he’s smart.” Sydney offered. And yet your confidence wasn’t particularly bolstered. 

You managed to get through the night and decided to swing by Booker and Loke’s to at least see what they had. nd if you would like anything they offered. It was a rooftop cafe on top of the intergalactic market, Astris. Where a lot of restaurants and in particular- chefs, got their produce along with locals and tourists alike. It also not only had international produce but intergalactic produce as well which was the major pull. Ok, yeah you could understand why he would want to meet you here. The place was pretty cool. 

You got up to the roof and suddenly realized about a few dozen Jika all here. They were flying in from all over and then landing and getting in line. As you looked around you realized there were three different “kinds” of Jika here. They were all yellow and black but the black was different between them, there was red sheen, blue sheen and purple sheens and they were all chatting to each other in the native Jika language- which was a series of clicks and trills and it sounded...like chickens, the way chickens talked to each other. It was, actually, adorable. 

And your little giggle of amusement seemed to alert all of them to your presence. They all stilled and turned to you which shut you up before you ducked your head, cleared your throat awkwardly and got in line and looked at the menu board. You noticed...you were the shortest and littlest person here. Compared to them, you felt so normal not to mention small and petite despite your own 6 foot frame. This was nice. 

And up this close, you could see both subtle and striking differences between individuals. Instead of all them looking the same. You could even hear distinct voices between individuals and different tones of inflection as they seemed to carry on as usual after watching you get in line. Plus all these Jika were practically giant! They were easily 7 and a half feet tall and impressive builds with wide shoulders and massive and strong wings. The wings themselves even folded neatly onto their backs. The red ones had the most spikes but the purple ones had some spikes too while the blues had none. 

Then it was your turn at the front of the line. 

“Hello, can I get a medium chai with extra whip and a ham, bacon, egg and cheese croissant?” You ordered, figuring that was as good as a “late night snack” for you as any other. And when you talked, suddenly the Jika who had been in front of you, who was actually the only one like himself. His black had the purple sheen but it had a turquoise-ish tint to it. So he came out indigo violet with a hint of peacock teal in certain lights like a dual chrome eyeshadow or even one of those beautiful fancy beatles. He didn’t have spikes but he was gorgeous and he seemed to do a double take when the line went from front to back line- to side to side line- down the length of counter where they had a variety of breakfast options laid out and presented beautifully. He had gotten the fruit tart for breakfast along with his coffee. 

“Miss Alexis Frost?” He asked curiously after he had been subtly eyeing you as you came down the line. 

“Uh, yeah? Do I know you?” You asked as you eyed him cautiously as you looked down to see your hospital badge with your name on it still on your left shoulder which you quickly grabbed and put in your purse. You don’t remember ever meeting anyone or anything like him. 

“Uh, kind of? We got matched on OkCryptid yesterday?” He supplied. 

“Dr. Jaxx Kizu?” You blinked in surprise. 

“You can just call me Jaxx.” He grinned, his mandibles moved out and down to reveal a rather human looking mouth underneath them as he smiled pleasantly at you. 

“Oh, hi,” you greeted as he offered one of his hands to shake yours. 

“Pleasure to meet you in person Miss Frost.” He greeted back as he shook your hand in one of his four. Because he had two sets of arms. 

“If I can just call you Jaxx, you can call me Lexi.” You proposed amiably. 

“Excellent.” He grinned. 

“Do you have a moment to have breakfast with me?” He asked as he gestured to an open table.

“Yeah,” you agreed as he turned and paid not just for his own order but yours as well. 

“I can get my own..” you tried to argue.

“No I insist.” He waived off before you got your food and got into the little table. Thanks to the higher bar stool style chairs, which were big, heavy and very robust. You had to climb up into them and were grateful they actually fit you and you didn’t feel like you were sitting on a skinny little ledge. But because of how Jaxx’s body was laid out, most of his height was in his legs so for him, the high chairs were just normal chairs. And this way, you were more or less eye level with him. Well, he was still just a head above you. Which was nice for you instead of you looking down at your companion, you were looking up for once. 

“So if I may be so bold to ask, why did you want to meet me on Wednesday before Beth’s birthday party?” He asked curiously. 

“Uh, well, that was mostly because for the last few years, I’ve gotten stood up and usually guys just see me from about six feet away and walk away and I would rather you meet me for coffee and take one look at me and decide against it - then doing it for the party and that way I have time to find a replacement.” You confessed. 

“Ah, I see. Well let me assure you, that I will not be one of them. You’re perfectly lovely and I have no intentions of letting the past repeat itself in that respect.” He reassured you and you blushed and smiled. 

“Thank you.” You thanked him. 

“So are you needing to go into work? I have a few questions I would like to ask you but I don’t want to make you tardy for anything.” He proposed. 

“Oh, no, I just got off of work actually, I work nights at Riedson Hospital.” You gestured in the direction of the hospital. 

“Oh, well am I keeping you from resting?” He asked worriedly. 

“No, I won’t go to bed for a little while yet, we got time.” You reassured him. 

“Or am I keeping you from anything though?” You asked thoughtfully. 

“Oh no, I won’t be needed for a few more hours. So I also have time to stay and talk.” He returned graciously. 

“So, were you just looking for a date for your friend’s birthday or were you open to anything more?” He asked thoughtfully, if not just a bit hopefully. 

“Um, well I guess that depended on how good the date went I guess.” You shrugged. 

“Oh, well, would you be comfortable enough telling me how you would determine that outcome?” He asked hopefully. 

“Uh, well if you actually liked me and were attracted to me and didn’t immediately want to dump me in favor of Beth. That would be ideal.” You professed. 

“Is Beth short for Bethsabinehada Loremanore Del Monico-Francias?” He asked. 

“Yes.” You nodded. 

“She was also on the app. She appears Cerulian and terran,” he noted, his voice serious if not just a little hesitant. 

“She is, the terran is elven. High elven." You supplied. 

“Ah, does she eat enough? She looks severely underfed and malnourished and so...sickly.” He noted and you couldn’t help it but you erupted into a deep belly laugh. 

“Beth? She looks sickly?” You repeated in surprise at the proposterous notion. 

“Oh yes, very much so. She looks like a stiff breeze might topple her and she’d shatter into a thousand pieces. Is that why your dates have abandoned you in favor of her? Do they have a hero complex of saving the dying?” He asked in all seriousness as you looked at him like he was crazy. He must really not know Earth’s inhabitants or other species that well. 

“Uh, no, she’s quite healthy, way healthier than I probably am.” You muttered before you took a bite of your breakfast sandwich. 

“No, you’re perfectly healthy. I have several ranges of vision. Not to be invasive, but I can see that your heart rate and blood pressure are well within normal and accepted limits and your body is really well balanced, strong and nourished.” He reassured you. 

“How can you tell?” You asked. 

“I can see it, I can see your blood pressure in the vessels in your eyes. And the pigments in your skin and your cellular processes with it. You’re practically glowing with health and very beautiful. So to hear your claim about her is quite surprising, if not a little disturbing. It should be the other way around. Anyone in thier right mind would and should be withdrawing their interest in her and redirecting at you. You’re the healthy and genetically opulant one.” He praised as you gave him a disbelieving look. Granted you were no doctor and not intimately familiar with Beth's personal health. 

“Well their eyesight isn’t as good as yours then. Because they can’t see that closely to see cellular and genetic levels. They just see her from perhaps my ocular prospective.” You gently argued. 

“But even within the range of your own eyes. Surely you can see how she has very little body fat and her ratio of fat, muscle and bone is out of proportion and her complexion is much too melanin deficient.” Jaxx contested in the most matter of fact tone. 

“Well, maybe you’re not familiar with the cultural importances of those characteristics in Earth’s society. Low body fat but small lean muscle and fair skin are seen as a high beauty standard for women here on Earth.” You informed him. 

“I have noticed such trends. But I thought the educated populace would see how dangerous and unviable that is. Because one does need to consume certain quantities of fats, sugars, carbohydrates and protiens, vitamins and minerals does it not? Because to not consume the proper quantities leaves the body in a deficit.” Jaxx insisted. 

“Well, actually for some people, thier metabolysms are just naturally good and they get really good genetics to be naturally thin. That’s what Beth is, everyone in her family is just like her physically and they’re all doing just fine and married and having kids.” You explained. 

“I think this is something we will have to agree to disagree.” Jaxx offered. 

“Probably, so, enough about Beth, I didn’t sit down to breakfast with you to talk about her, I sat down to talk to you about you and get to know you.” You amicably offered. 

“Agreed. So, like my profile said, my name is Jaxx Kizu, I hold doctorates in...” Jaxx began.  

After that the conversation flowed really well. And despite coming from different worlds, you got along and really clicked outside of the disagreement about the state of Beth’s health, but everything else you seemed to agree on. And he was funny and charming and enthusiastic about his career. And about Earth, about the medicinal benefits of mushrooms in particular because one of his doctorates was in mycology as he was very facinated with all of it.

By the time your body reminded you that it needed sleep, he made sure that you would get home safe. And he cemented the plans to meet again on Wednesday. And again on Friday to make sure you would have the perfect outfit for Beth’s birthday. And then of course again on Saturday and exchanged phone numbers so you could text each other so you didn’t have to keep using the app to get and stay in touch. 

And while he was formal. He was also incredibly intelligent but it was balanced with his genuine concern and thoughtfulness and attentiveness which was amazing. Usually you were used to Beth getting all of that, but all of it was on you. And he made you feel like you were the most sublime being in the universe.

Ok, OkCryptid was definitely worth it. Because it really did have someone for everyone. 

You got home and Beth was awake and drinking her morning tea with her morning small bowl of very carefully measured fruit, yogurt and granola. 

“Everything ok? You’re home late.” Beth noted the time. 

“Everything’s great.” You answered cheerfully. 

“Oooh, you sound happy, did you get a raise or a bonus or something?” She asked hopefully. 

“Nope, work was shitty because Angie didn’t do shit on the day shift. Other than probably sucking all of Dr. Parkers’ cock.” You answered which made Beth almost snort her tea laughing. 

“But you are all smiles and practically glowing with happiness, come on, out with it.” Beth insisted. 

“So, I met Dr. Jaxx Kizu.” You grinned which got Beth to gasp. 

“And?!” She demanded. 

“And he’s awesome! We have three dates set up this week.” You revealed with your giddiest smile as she squealed in delight. 

“How did you meet? Was he at the hospital?” She pressed. 

“Nope, I asked him to meet me for coffee on Wednesday after work. He suggested Booker and Lokes, which on the roof of Astris. So I curiously went there after work today. And come to find out, not only do they have amazing coffee and a really nice selection of breakfast foods. Booker and Lokes is also is a Jika hot spot. And because it’s on top of the market and practically open air, they all fly in and then get in line, get a snack and a cup of coffee and then fly away to their jobs. There must be at least four classes of Jika because I didn’t see any Jika with the green sheen to their black there. But I did see- red, blue and purple sheens to the black on the other individuals there. And Jaxx is kind of a mix between the blue and the purple but there was almost a turquoise to his purple which is stunning. And he’s super handsome and fine as hell and a foot taller than me and at least two feet wider than me and he’s bigger than me in just about every way. Well except his waist was smaller than mine, but no biggy.” You eagerly plopped across from her at the table and excitedly gestured about how big he was compared to you. 

“And he was really formal but super nice and not at all creepy. And I didn’t see a single red flag, or get any bad vibes from him at all. Which, at first I thought was weird cause I’m used to every guy I meet- instantly throw at least one red flag and raise at least one alarm bell. But not him. He was genuinely nice and actually genuinely interested in me. And because he’s a doctor he was really technical when he talked, but I was able to keep up pretty well. He studies Earth’s mushrooms and is looking for medical applications for them both for Earth’s indiginous populations and the intergalactic populations. Anyway, he was really nice and sweet and thoughtful and attentive and practically perfect and he said I was ‘glowing with health’ and he said I was ‘genetically opulant’? Whatever that means. I mean he is a very smart, geeky nerd, and strong and handsome to boot which is really nice. I didn’t think I’d be into Jikas but boy oh boy am I into him. I dig him. I dig him a lot. He may be a nerd, but he’s a super nice and sweet one too, perfect gentleman otherwise.” You boasted. 

“Well that’s because you are really healthy Lexi! And because you’re a hybrid, of course he’d see your mix of genetics as the wonder that they are because you got the best of both worlds, both literally and figuratively and I’m so happy that you found someone who could see that as well as I can.” Beth nodded in agreement. “Just because you don’t have the same body shape as mine doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy at all.” Beth reassured you.

“Well that’s the thing. He looked at your profile on the app and thinks that you’re very sickly, underfed and malnourished and that the reason every guy dumps me in favor of you is ‘they all have a hero complex trying to save the dying’? Or some kind of ridiculous nonsense. We almost had a fight about it actually. But we let it be the one and only thing we agreed to disagree on was the state of your health. But otherwise we agreed on everything else.” You revealed as Beth frowned at you but her blush reached all the way to the tips of her delicate pointed ears as she bit her lips anxiously as she tried to school her features. 

“Which I don’t know, maybe he only knows Cerulians and isn’t that familiar with terrans, elves especially.” You tried to waive off, not catching Beth’s reaction at all as Beth just huffed a humming laugh and did her best to appear normal and composed, despite her unsettled nerves. 

“Probably. But I’m really happy for you and I hope it works out.” Beth offered as she got ready to go to work herself. 

“Me too, have a good day at work. Upgrade, upsell and all that jazz and make a mint in commission.” You offered her as you hugged her and kissed her cheeks.

“Aww, thanks, sweet dreams Lexi.” She offered in turn before you went to bed. 

Meanwhile the moment you disappeared into your bedroom Beth’s face dropped to one of worry anxiety and dread before she gathered her things and instantly called her mother. 

“Hey Sweetie,” her mother, Faehaethy who simply went by Fae, chipperly answered her daughter’s call. 

“Hey, I need a favor. So Lexi has a boyfriend…” Beth began. 

“Oh good! Finally, I thought I would have to try to hire someone to go out with her for your birthday again and actually pay them double to not back out the moment they saw her.” She admitted. 

“No, there’s no need for that. But um. Mom? He’s a Jika.” Beth informed her mother nervously. 

“Really? That’s surprising.” Fae answered noted as she looked over to her husband as they were having breakfast date in a very fancy restaurant downtown. Her father, Tasar could use his exceptional hearing to hear his wife’s conversation as he knitted his eyebrows together and frowned at her. 

“Is that a problem?” Her father Tasar asked as Fae put an earpiece into her ear and the other earpiece to her bluetooth headphones in her husband’s ear to hear the conversation privately.  

“Well, so far, he’s pretty perfect for her. But um…” Beth stuttered as she got into the elevator and pressed the button to take her to the garage as she decided which vehicle she was going to take to work today as she looked at the variety of keys on her key chain. 

“But what Dearest?” Her mother pressed. 

“He took one look at my profile picture on OkCryptid and he…he instantly knew.” Beth confessed. 

“Knew what?” Fae asked. 

“That I’m sick.” Beth admitted shamefully. 

“How could he possibly…?” Fae began. 

“Because he’s a doctor Mom! A medical doctor! And he’s a royal class Jika too! Unmated to the Queen. He works on Jazine Prime and you have heard how royal class Jika males are exceptionally perceptive. Apparently he just took one look at me from just a picture and he knew I was ill. And he took one look at Lexi and knew she was perfectly fine and way healthier than me. And he told Lexi that the reason every guy who sees me- leaves any interest in her to try to ‘play hero and save the dying’ which is what Lexi told me he said. If word got out that I…” Beth admitted as she did her best to not cry and ruin her makeup. 

“So how do you wish for us to intervene? Does he need to be silenced?” Tasar asked his daughter quietly. 

“No. I just want to reach out to him. See how he knows I’m sick and if he can figure out how to heal me and make me better and even make all my siblings better too. Then that would be great. But, if he can’t, we have to give him something to keep him quiet so that he won’t tell Lexi or anyone else.” Beth admitted as she hurriedly walked to her SUV and got in. 

“We’ll take care of it.” Her parents reassured her. 

You see him approaching and you think you forget to breathe for a few seconds. He’s beautiful; his snake half is a deeply iridescent purple. His skin is a rich brown, which seems to almost have the same kind of iridescence as his scales. His face is somewhat angular, with a strong jaw His hair is black, cut in a sort of punk undercut, with purple and blue highlights that match his scales. You want to run your fingers through it and see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“Hey! Pratha, over here!” You say, catching his attention.

He turns to look at you, and his smile dazzles. He slithers your way, that smile never leaving his face.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Your pictures didn’t do you justice,” he says. His voice is as attractive as the rest of him, and you feel yourself blushing.

Spirits but how are you going to make it through this date without combusting. What was a naga this handsome doing on a dating app? You feel incredibly lucky he picked you, and internally you’re flailing.

“I got our tickets already, our tour starts in just a few minutes.” You tell him. “Shall we head in?”

“Absolutely. Lead the way,” He says.

As you stand in line waiting, he tells you a bit about himself. He’s a software engineer, working for one of the big tech firms. He has four sisters (one older, three younger) who meddle constantly in his life (but he loves them anyway). His only pet is a goldfish, but he has a few houseplants. He asks about you in turn, and you share details of your own life. He shows genuine interest, asking serious questions about the things you share with him.

And then it’s your turn to start the tour, and a tall ghost in a long gown is telling you about the history of this mansion, and the woman who lived here. A short time later, having been led along a twisting-turning path through the old Victorian mansion, teased by ghosts and startled a time or two, you’re released back into the open air and sunshine of the beautiful afternoon. At some point you and Pratha have begun holding hands. You like the way it feels.

“There’s a cafe around the corner where we could get some coffee, if you’re interested?” You say, not quite ready for this date to end.

“You’re not sick of me yet?” He asks, almost nervous. “I thought for sure you would be after I jumped away from that ghost and nearly knocked you over.”

“No, that was cute,” you inform him. It had been; Pratha had shrieked in surprise and tried to put himself between you and the danger.

“Then I’d love to get coffee,” He says, blushing.

Hours later, when you part ways with promises to meet again soon, you’re still not sure how you’d matched with him on the app, but you’re definitely glad you did.

This story was a Patreon reward. Find all my Patreon rewards on the Patreon Perk Masterlist.

This story also used OkCryptid, which is an open-use collaboration for any exophilia authors created by thetravelerwrites.  

“Thanks,” you said, taking your seat. “I love this place, I’m glad you suggested it.”

“Yeah, it’s decent,” He said. “The service leaves a lot to be desired sometimes, but the food’s nice.”

You smiled, but his comment niggled the back of your mind.

“So you work in bonds?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s not a glamorous job, but it’s good money,” You replied. “You?”

“I’m in real estate,” he replied. “House flipping. You can sink a lot of money into it, but it nets way more than you put into it if you do it right. It’s a lot of work, though.”

“I bet,” You said.

The waitress walked up just then with a glass and sat it in front of Brian, which you assumed was his refill. “Here you are, sir.” She then turned to you and said, “Hi, I’m Amanda, I’ll be your server. Can I get you a drink?”

“Yes, sweet tea, please,” You replied.

“I’ll be right back with that,” She said as she picked up Brian's empty glass. You thanked her.

Brian picked up his glass, frowning, and called the waitress back.

“Hey, come back here,” He said.

Amanda was back at the table in a flash. “Is there something wrong?”

“Yeah, this glass is filthy,” Brian said, his voice condescending, holding the glass delicately by the rim with his thumb and middle finger. “Do you not have eyes? Did you not see the glass was dirty? This is disgraceful, I want to talk to your manager.”

You squinted and a saw a small smudge on the side of his glass that could have just been a fingerprint.

“I’m so sorry, sir, I’ll get you a fresh glass and call the manager over for you right away,” Amanda said, her cheeks flushing. She swiftly took the glass and shuffled off.

You stared at Brian in disbelief. “What the hell was that?”

“I know, right?” Brian said snidely. “I told you the service was shit here.”

“No, I mean you,” You clarified. “Why did you do that? You didn’t have to be rude to her; it’s not her fault the glass was dirty.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, it is. It’s her job to make sure I don’t get dirty dishes, calm down,” Brian said dismissively.

“No,” You said, feeling your face, chest, and shoulders start to grow out hot out of annoyance. “It’s the dishwasher’s job to make sure you don’t get dirty dishes. And the waitress didn’t make your drink, either; the bartender did. Her job was to ferry the drink from the bar to the table, which she did. You might have even smudged it yourself! It could have been the grease from your cheese fries, for all I know. Despite the fact that you're mad at the wrong person, you didn’t have to be an ass either way.”

He rolled his eyes. “Look, we were having a good time. Can you just drop it?”

“No!” You said.

A manager in a suit arrived at the table, a chubby, sandy-haired minotaur with fur to match, brushed straight and shiny. His eyes were brown with odd yellow flecks and his wide nose a darker tan than his fur. His name tag said “Duffy.”

“Is there a problem, sir?” He asked. His voice was higher pitched than you expected. He’d be a tenor if he sang. You suddenly wondered if he did sing.

“Yeah, your staff is serving customers with dirty dishes,” Brian snapped. “Do you not have a functioning dishwasher in this place? You know I could report you to the health department for shit like that.”

“I’m very sorry, sir. I’ll happily comp your drinks for the rest of the evening, if that would help.”

“As long as they’re in clean glasses, sure,” Brian sniffed. The manager nodded and walked away.

“See?” Brian said smugly. “I got us free drinks out of it.”

“He comped your drink to shut you up, idiot,” You said. “Do you have any idea how much shit these people have to deal with on a day-to-day basis? They know the easiest way to get people like you off their backs is to give you something for free.”

“So what?” Brian said. “This is their job, right?”

“You could do so much better for yourself in the long run if you took a second to take people’s feelings into consideration.”

“They’re service people and strangers I‘ve never met. Why should I give a shit about their feelings?”

All you could do was bite your cheek and shake your head at him. “You’re a piece of work, you know that? I’ll tell you what. I’ll bet you I can get more free shit by being kind to the wait staff than you did by being an asshole. Whoever wins gives the other a hundred bucks and pays the tab.”

He snorted and reached into his wallet. “Fine. Go crazy.” He slapped a hundred dollar bill onto the table. You matched it with a bill from your wallet.

Amanda returned with your tea and Brian’s drink, thankfully in a glass that passed his inspection, and asked, “Are you guys ready to order?”

“The porterhouse, rare, with potatoes and beans,” Brian said, and you glared at him. The porterhouse was the most expensive thing on the menu. He simply smiled at you.

“Okay, and for you?” Amanda asked you, her notepad at the ready.

It was actually the first time you had looked at the menu. You pursed your lips and searched until you found something suitable.

“Yes, the shrimp scampi, please?”

“You got it,” Amanda said, jotting it down. “I’ll have these out to you guys in no time.”

Brian snorted. “We’ll see about that.” And you glared at him harder. Then you smiled placidly.

“Why are you smiling? You haven’t done anything yet,” Brian said, taking a sip from his drink.

“Yes, I have,” You replied. “I just ordered a dish that I’m allergic to.”

“You’re allergic to shrimp?” He asked skeptically.

“Nope, mushrooms. But the menu was slightly smudged and it was hard to see the word ‘mushroom’, which is the kind of thing people like you would miss and then get all bent out of shape about.”

He huffed and folded his arms. “So what’s you’re plan?”

“You’ll see.”

The two of you waited in a sort of stymied silence for about ten minutes later, at which point your food was delivered to the table.

“Oh,” You said softly as the plate of noodles and shrimp was placed in front of you. A pile of mushrooms was plainly visible.

“Is something wrong?” Amanda asked, her voice openly anxious.

“Oh, honey, it’s not your fault, I should have read more carefully. I’m allergic to mushrooms.”

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry!” Amanda said, hurrying to take the plate from the table. “Can I get you something else?”

“Does the fettucini have mushrooms?” You asked.

“No, ma’am,” Amanda said.

“I’ll have that, then, please. Can I have broccoli on the side?”

“Of course! With butter?”

“Oh, yes, please, thank you so much. I’m sorry to be such a bother,” You said regretfully.

“Oh, not at all, sweetie, let me put that order in for you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s totally my bad.”

Amanda smiled brightly as she walked off, and you turned back to Brian.

“Well?” He said, holding out his hands expectantly.

“Wait,” I said.

The manager arrived at the table again, looking wary. “I understand there was another problem?”

“Oh, no, it was my fault, really,” You assured him. “I didn’t read the menu correctly and I accidentally ordered something I’m allergic to. It was no one’s fault but mine, honestly.”

His shoulders visibly relaxed. “I’m so sorry. Allow me to comp your meal. Please, it’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that!” You insisted. “It was totally my mistake.”

“Still, I feel badly that your experience tonight has been so poor. Allow me to make it up. Free dessert as well,” He said. He really was so sweet, though you knew that was part of his job, so you didn't read too much into it.

“Oh… thank you,” you replied, turning so that you were staring directly into Brian’s gaping face when you said flatly, “That’s very kind of you.”

The manager, Duffy, bowed a little and walked away.

“I win,” You said.

“You didn’t win,” Brian countered. “You manipulated them.”

“Being nice is not the same being manipulative,” you said. “If I had genuinely ordered a dish I couldn't eat by accident, that's exactly how I would have reacted, and I wouldn't be manipulating anyone. I'd just be a decent person. And besides, even if it was, people in the service industry catch shit all day long for no other reason than people want to be dicks to them, because people like you think you’re better than people like them. So when someone comes along who’s not a giant asshole over the tiniest mistake, they will do anything to accommodate that person, not just to keep them happy, but for treating them like they’re people and not indentured servants.” You pulled the two hundreds from the table and put them in your pocket. “You can go now.”

“What?” Brian said, appalled.

“The date’s over. Bye.” You picked up you tea and sipped it, leaning back in your seat.

With a stunned look on his face and a self-conscious laugh of disbelief, he stood roughly from the chair and stormed off.

Amanda returned with your new order. “What happened to your date?”

“I told him to hit the bricks,” You said with a grin.

Amanda grinned back. “Good call, if you ask me. He was kind of an ass.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, he was. Hey, can you call the manager over again?”

“Is there something else wrong?” She asked.

“No, no, nothing like that, I just want to thank him again for being so accommodating.”

“Sure thing, honey,” Amanda said, taking away Brian’s plate.

“Thank you.”

You picked up your fork and tucked into your pasta. After a few bites, Duffy walked up.

“Everything alright?” He asked. For the second time, you found yourself thinking how musical his voice was.

“Oh, yes, thank you so much,” You said. You gestured at the seat opposite you. “Would you humor me for a moment and sit down?”

“Uh…” He eyed the chair. “I’m not really supposed to, but…” He took the chair and pulled it out. “I’ve been on my feet for hours.” He sighed with relief as he eased down.

“I have to admit something to you,” You said, pulling out one of the hundred dollar bills. “I kind of played you. I bet the guy I was on a date with that you get more out of being kind than you do being a jerk. I won, but at your expense, and I wanted to apologize and pay for the meal. It’s only fair.” You held out the bill for him to take.

Duffy smiled. “You know what? Keep it. It’s worth it for you to have taught him a lesson like that. You’ve been a sweetheart. That’s so rare.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” You looked him up and down, considering him. “How about this? I’ll take you out for a date with the hundred I won from him. If you’re single and interested, that is.”

He looked immensely surprised. “I… am interested. To be honest, I was kinda thinking you were too good for that guy, anyway. I’d love a date, but maybe not here.” He laughed.

“I do have to point out the irony of a minotaur working at a steakhouse,” You said, laughing.

He chuckled. “I am a walking contradiction.”

“I came for the Italian, anyway. I don’t eat red meat,” you said.

“Really? That’s a shame,” He said suggestively, and you flushed.

“Tch. Bad boy,” You said, and he grinned wickedly.

Then he sighed. “I need to get back to work.” He pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to you. “Put your number in there. I look forward to putting that dickhead’s money to good use.”

“Me too,” you replied, typing in your name and number and handing his phone back. He smiled widely at you and stood, bowing again, and returned to work.

You finished your dinner in peace, and ordered a slice of caramel pie to go with it. When you were finished, Amanda came by to wish you a good night.

“Here, honey,” You said, handing her the second hundred dollar bill, the one you had bet.

“Oh, sweetie, your meal was comped. You don’t have to pay,” She said.

“No, this is your tip,” You told her, motioning for her to take it.

He jaw dropped and she tentatively reached out to take it. “Are you sure?”

“Absolutely sure. Please.”

She laughed shakily and thanked you over and over, even giving you a little side hug. You chuckled and headed for the exit.

As you did, you got a buzz from an unknown number and stopped at the door to look at it.

>I hope you wear that outfit on our date. You look great in it.

You turned and saw Duffy standing in the kitchen doorway, smiling at you with his phone in his hand. He saluted you with it, and you laughed.

Standing where he could see you, you wrote back: >I look better out of it.

His phone pinged, and he looked at it and choked. Triumphant, you opened the door and walked out into the brisk night air.

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