you🤝me
purple hawke's personality is actually a mask to how depressed they actually are
It just makes sense to me!!! Like I dunno maybe it's just a me thing, maybe it's because my favorite characters have always been the ones that are cheerful and silly and frequently very unserious 'just a silly little guy!' jokesters who use that, and having that kind of reputation, being known for being 'the funny one' as a mask, and a shield, and a way to make sure that nobody ever thinks to check in with them. Or at least that if people ever do they get tired of or distracted by the bits and jokey deflections before they actually punch through the mask to get to the vulnerable core of the person that hides behind it.
Like there is no way in hell(to me, at least) that a Purple Hawke was able to grow up in the circumstances they did, and come out of it a person that's actually just a sort of shallow, sarcastic, jokey asshole. Especially with everything that's going on in the game, like the entirety of Act 1 is just them desperately trying to earn enough money to afford the buy in for an extremely dangerous last-ditch effort to get enough money to support their family. They've constantly been in survival mode their entire life, whether they're a mage who was taught by Malcolm that their magic is something that puts the whole family at risk and they have to be careful and keep everyone safe, or they're a rogue/warrior, who was taught by Malcolm that their whole like... purpose... was to protect their family and especially their vulnerable mage younger sibling.
They are someone who is so aware of the vulnerability of their position/the position of their family in Kirkwall, and has to keep that mask in place in order to keep things running smoothly. If they let that mask slip- if Leandra or Carver or Bethany is able to see how stressed or unsure or whatever they really are beneath all of that then that risks destabilizing everything. Shit is bad enough as is! They don't need their mother even more anxious than she already is on top of all of that. A Purple Hawke has to keep that mask up at all costs or everything they've built will crumble around them. They've worked so hard to present this facade of some silly guy who's confident and cocky and has it all together and has everything under control, and it reassures the people around them, and those people feel better because yeah, of course, Hawke's got it. Hawke's always got it. Hawke will take care of things, that's what Hawke does, that's what Hawke always does. Even if Hawke, themself, is just winging it constantly and crossing their fingers and hoping that things turn out for the better, because what else can they do? What other options do they have?
