#ofwickedlight

Sansa Stark and her Hound always made Theon want to walk. He’d see them in the halls, hand in hand, Sansa’s smile as slight as bird wings, the dog’s scowl a still, peaceful line, and Theon would nod, give them the quickest greetings, turn, leave.

And here they were again. They didn’t see him. But he saw them.

Sansa Stark and her Hound always made Theon want to walk. No, run. And he knew where. That was why he never stood, when he found them. Just fled.

But this time, Theon sat. Kept watching. Kept letting the sight fill him with what he needed to see.

Little Sansa was not so little anymore—tall for a woman, lean and strong and beautiful, yet Sandor Clegane still towered over her. A dog for the Lannisters, not fit for a Wolf Princess, yet here they were, in the open, in the snow. His massive hands had never been so gentle as when they found her waist, or her hair, and Sansa’s haunted Tully eyes were never more blue and calm than when she saw him. Theon knew what they’d looked like, before Clegane’s crossed Winterfell’s gate. Sky colored rivers, bled in grey, peddled with rain that never faded. Little drops of hurt, but millions of them, endless. Theon knew that pain. It rained inside him, too. 

And Clegane. A hulking, hideous, scarred, brutish thing. He had children’s blood on his hands, too, Theon knew. Arya’s friend, the butcher’s boy. And a traitor, as well. An understandable traitor, but a traitor like him, like him, broken like him, ugly like him, done. His eyes locked on a woman’s though, and, gods—even in all of his wretchedness, Sandor Clegane had less of it than Theon Greyjoy.

But still.

Still.

Theon watched them until he saw it all. He watched until the snows graced him in a sheet. He watched until his tears dried. He watched until they were gone. 

Then he walked.

The solar was dark save for the faint sighs of light, yet somehow King Robb Stark glowed more than he always had. I can see him now, Theon knew. I can watch without hiding.

Robb looked up from his papers, auburn hair gleaming copper in the grey winter light. “Is everything all right?” he asked. His eyes met Theon’s, briefly, darting. Not letting himself see, like always. 

Theon walked to him. He was limping, because his toes were still missing, but that was all right. The fingers he had left kissed Robb’s shaking, sweating fist, held him.

Robb’s hiding eyes fluttered, watered, blinked, but he didn’t pull away. Waited.

Theon grinned at him. His teeth were missing, but his smile was brighter than it had ever been, he knew.

And it was all right.

“Not yet,” Theon said. He cupped his king’s perfect face.

Robb closed his haunted Tully eyes, leaned into the touch. Blue rivers peddled with rain, but calm now, and Theon found that it did not rain inside him so much anymore now, either.

Sansa Stark and her Hound made Theon want to run, and Theon knew where. So he did. And you caught me.

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SDKLJJKLGGKLJJKGGDJKSLSDGJKLDGSJKLKJL I’M CRYING THIS IS BEAUTIFUL T___T DSJGJDJKLS ALSO I’M DYING THAT YOU WENT THERE OH MY FUCKING GOD SDLKJGJKLSKJDGJK THIS IS SO PRECIOUS also if you ever feel like writing more of either I’m not gonna stop you quality is needed u__u awwwww slkjgjlslgjklgd THEY’RE ALL SO PRECIOUS I’M DYING HERE OKAY???? this absolutely suffices I’m T_______T well I mean if I get a+ fic out of this mess i AM ENTIRELY FINE WITH IT SDJGJKDSJGLKGDJKSL

I’m so sorry that it’s taken me so long to answer this… I had to get through a mountain of grading in a hurry because I have stupid grading anxiety so I procrastinate, which makes everything worse because I have to do it all at once instead of spreading it out.

I found the post where I talk about how benevolent racism is part of the reason people aren’t allowed to criticize Ragnarok or Taika Waititi. Even if there are genuine, serious problems with the work of a POC—not just the characterization mess or the complete unlikability of the main characters (I gotta majorly side-eye the people who find Ragnarok!Thor “relatable”), but the Social Justice-y problems that you would think they would take seriously (the stereotypically queer-coded villains; the implicit slut-shaming of Loki; the toxic masculinity all over the place; the one-line dismissal of Jane Foster, a brilliant female scientist, to be replaced by a woman who is considered more powerful and therefore “more Thor’s equal” because she can beat people up)—you’re not allowed to point them out, especially if you’re white, because all criticism of a POC constitutes racism.

Honestly, this kind of reminds me of the standard Leftist line that westerners are not allowed to condemn human rights abuses in non-western countries, especially formerly colonized countries, because (A) western countries aren’t perfect (duh) and (B) everything that’s wrong in formerly colonized countries is to be blamed on European colonialism. It seems to me that (B) is extraordinarily patronizing: it’s like they’re saying that victims of colonialism (always people of color) can’t be held responsible for anything because they can’t be expected to know better, almost as if they’re children whose wrongdoing is always to be blamed on the adults’ bad parenting.

I also found the post where I discussed how Loki’s story could (and should) have fit in with the (purported) anti-colonialism message. And there’s another post from someone else that’s been in my drafts folder for a while because I wanted to say something about it but I never seem to have time, which is very relevant. The OP is gushing about how Ragnarok is this groundbreaking, subversive critique of colonialism… but then someone with American indigenous heritage reblogs to add that Loki is also a victim of colonialism and makes the comparison with Native American/ First Nations children who were taken from their parents and adopted out to white parents or indoctrinated in abusive boarding schools. That essay was presented not as a criticism of Ragnarok—which the reblogger seemed to think had sufficiently dealt with Loki’s trauma in the “fictional retelling of his relationship with Odin” presented in Loki’s play about himself—but as a rebuttal to the claim in a “literary review” of Ragnarok (which falls all over itself to hail TR as “the coolest, slickest, funniest indictment of white supremacy that you’re likely to see for a long, long time”) that Loki has no relationship to Asgard’s imperialist past and is just “a character who doesn’t care as long as he gets his.”

Interestingly, the reviewer added a note in response to criticism of that characterization saying that he “personally really like[s] the character” and acknowledges “his complicated, and often tragic, backstory of otherness and biculturalism,” but insists that that “do[es] not make him NOT fundamentally power hungry.” Which… kind of wasn’t the point of the criticism? It was that in a rundown of how the various characters were related to the history of imperialism, all he said about Loki was that he “doesn’t care as long as he gets his.” Whether or not Loki can rightly be characterized as “fundamentally power-hungry” is a complicated question and depends on how sincere you think his “I never wanted the throne” protestation was and how much you think conquering Earth was his idea as opposed to Thanos’s.

But the fact that the reviewer had to be reminded of Loki’s connection with Asgardian imperialism—as a victim of it, not just as a beneficiary—points to a basic problem with Loki’s depiction in Ragnarok, which is obviously what was freshest in the writer’s mind (and I doubt he had rewatched the other movies recently): that despite its claims to provide a comprehensive critique of colonialism (and no, it wasn’t being subtle), it was so intent on ridiculing Loki and minimizing all of his problems that it had to downplay or dismiss any respect in which he could be considered a victim of colonialism. That would have made Loki sympathetic, which the movie wanted to avoid at all costs.

Thanks! Yeah it just continues to bum me out so much that people – including fans of BOOK-Sansa – think that this was a great, triumphant ending for her??? Like, sure, yeah, this is probably the best possible outcome for show-Sansa that D&D would allow, but even then, I found it wholly depressing and NOT consistent with GRRM’s Sansa at all. 

“She is thriving in spite of her abusers!!!” Um NO, fam, she literally said herself that she is thriving BECAUSE of her abusers. And the same people lauding the fact that she was wearing Northern imagery at her coronation, which was just as willfully dishonest, when the show has made it clear REPEATEDLY that Sansa’s true teachers and influences are Cersei, Littlefinger, and Ramsay, NOT Ned or Catelyn. 

@chillyravenart​ Drogon, having recently acquired his master's degree in political science / philosophy, spends most of his time spreading his anti-feudalism wisdom to those who need it. He is woke now, and as such, has changed his name to Wokon. Here are some of his adventures: https://ofwickedlight.tumblr.com/tagged/the-adventures-of-wokon