#offc

Harley Quinn busting in out of nowhere: "Put him down! That's my emotional support billionaire!"

Bruce wakes up to find himself tied to a chair at a restaurant he used to frequent quite often, he takes it in and finds Two-Face sitting across the table from him: "Harvey."

Two-Face, who had obviously been waiting for Bruce to wake up: "Bruce."

Bruce, honestly just curious as to why he was kidnapped this time and by Harvey no less: "So...any particular reason why you kidnapped me? I mean if you wanted ransom you would have taken one of my kids, you're smart Harv. You don't need to make a name for yourself like some low entry crook, you're well known "Two-Face." So, why?"

Two-Face suddenly looking away and crossing his arms before turning to look at Bruce abruptly: "You've been spending a lot of time with Quinn and Crow. Word is You've become...chums."

Bruce blinking slowly before looking around before looking back at Two-Face: "Are you....Harvey are you jealous?"

Two-Face, huffing: "Is that so hard to believe?"

"We used to be friends Wayne! Why are you spending so much time with those small time rogues!"

Bruce, taken aback by the other side of Harvey piping up, but also by the admitted jealousy: "Harvey...we are friends. Or were my visits in Arkham nothing?"

Two-Face now blushing (on one side of his face mind you): "No. I mean, yes! I always enjoy your visits, but..."

"But you don't spend time with us outside of Arkham! Nooooo, that time is spent with the Jester and Corndoll!"

"So WE decided to have dinner like we used to!"

Bruce, jaw dropped, before he composes himself and looks down at the food that has been brought out to them by one terrified server: "Harv, why do I have two entrees?"

Two-Face: "I remembered you were fond of a good steak."

"And I thought you would appreciate something exciting! New! I had the chefs make you a catfish po' boy."

Bruce after trying both dishes to appease both sides of his friend sets aside his silver ware: "Not that I don't appreciate this Harvey, but you didn't have to kidnap me for us to go out for dinner."

Two-Face, petulantly: "Quinn and Crow kidnap you and you don't seem to mind."

Bruce, shocked once more: "I...well, it's kind of more in name than anything. For our club. It started with them "kidnapping" me and it's just turned into a tradition for our meetings."

Two-Face: "... You...are in a club with those two? With them? What...what kind of club?"

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Harley: "Sooooo Two-ey wants to join the club?"

Bruce: "He really does. So can you order another custom shirt?"

Damian doesn't like to share his title but he will make exceptions. Harley’s and Joker's twisted anniversary is one of them. He is mad that she supposedly had a uniform already at the ready to use but he let's it pass because he absolutely sees this as a wonderful opportunity to spite Joker.

Curb stomp.

Jk XD but they are tempted. Harley just kind of yells that Strange wants to fuck his parents. Bruce eggs this on...a lot. They give Strange a lot of new nicknames. Motherf*cker TM, Oedipus, Freud Fan Boy, etc.

The Fuck Freud Club may or may not have put flyers up all around Gotham with Strange's face on it saying, 'What do Sigmund Freud and I have in common? Mommy issues." He uh, he wasn't pleased.

They continuously get into heated debates about Freud, which can and do get physical if Harley has anything to say about it.

Once when Strange kidnapped both Harley and Scarecrow to try and "talk some sense into them" about the "greatness" of Freud (he couldn't find Bruce), Batman showed up to save them and Strange threw a fit and started acting his usual 'I'm superior' way with the bat.

Harley, not even trying to be quiet said to Crane rather loudly, "I think Strange has pen*s envy toward the Bat. Look at how he's acting!"

Crane, absolutely delighted to shit talk Strange and Freud at the same time egged this on. "Oh definitely. Look at the way he stands taller and tries to puff out his chest! Total pen*s envy."

Strange was furious and went on a rant about Freud's beliefs and why he did not in fact have pen*s envy for the Bat. Literally threw a tantrum, it was an easy fight for the Bat. When Strange was ranting about how much he hated Batman, Harley and Crane lost it when Bman asked in a completely serious voice, "Is it because of the pen*s envy?"

Strange went absolutely ballistic.