#off night

I had a horrible balance night. I couldn’t get my ass to engage for the life of me. So my balance point was nowhere in sight. We did mainly wall strengthening drills, so my shoulders are a little beat. A year ago I would have felt and expressed at least a moderate amount of self resentment while talking to my coach afterwards. I would have had a lot of regret for having an unproductive night.

Instead I said “my balance was shit today, but that’s fine. I’ll just make sure to do my basic drills tomorrow night. And they may be shit again. But it’s fine. It’ll come back”.

And for once I didn’t feel that self loathing that I normally get when I fuck up. I feel good. I worked my ass off on the earlier classes and did a crazy amount of back and shoulder conditioning. I’m probably tired and I did a run of my routine last night. Not to mention, my clavicle is acting up a smidge. I’m definitely pushing a lot of training hours this week, so I can’t expect every evening to be magical or have a break through. Some evenings will feel like a regression. And it will come back eventually. I had fun in class and I feel like I worked, even if I didn’t have anything to show for it. Life and training are about the journey and I’m going to get the most enjoyment out of them as possible.

Handstands are about falling and getting back up immediately. Because you have to fall a fuck ton of times to get better and even when you’re good enough to perform, you’ll still fall. It’s on the individual to get back up and keep trying.

OFF oc 2/3: Carmen

another one 

I did these at like 3pm last night aaaaaa drawing this lill bab makes me happy tho 

This is Carmen! I dunno what job she has bc aaaa Probably something to do with credits, shes pretty dang good with numbers. Mostly reserved, and tries to not show how excited as she is over something, but it’s hard when your tail is a big load of floof that moves with most of your emotional states. She’s accidentally sent Elsen flying with that thing on way to many occasions. Everyone watches her tail because she forgets to. She’s a pretty toll bab as well! I probs messed up the heights bc i was super tired but she actually comes to Dedan’s height, which I think is pretty tall. Towers over most Elsen. Don’t be fooled though!! She gives the softest hugs ever. Its just a shame not many seem up for hugs though... She’s... A lot smarter than many give her credit for. A bit of a hopeless romantic and is very verY vERY easy to fluster. She won’t read subtle flirts though, it has to be direct and intimate, or she’ll just assume you’re being friendly. She doesn’t really think people would want to flirt with her so she never expects it?? also cRAVESS attention dude.. She talks about how she use to apart of a hUGE family a lot. No one ever seems to get past to the question of what happened to them though... Pretty quiet wolf bab over all who just wants hugs. as you an see I have shipped her as well bc aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA