#odin problems

me, a couple years ago: well oKAY then I guess, um, gods. still not interested in the magic stuff and also seidr looks super intimidating.

(cut to me getting interested in spinning. and then dying. and then knitting. I blame @systlin)

me, a year and a half ago: no Old Man I am not going to try that seidr stuff. this fiber stuff is fun though! maybe if I like... add a particular sort of focus almost like meditation while making certain things? and do that from initial spinning to final product...?

(joke is, of course, on me)

Day 10: What method(s) do you usually use to contact your deity? (Tarot, godphone, etc.) Why do you like using that method?

With Oðin, combination godphone, meditation, trance- or journey-work, tarot, some shufflemancy, dreams, signs and omens.... The shufflemancy is usually humorous and used to tease back and forth though sometimes gets rather more pointed -- as for example if He’s got some choice commentary on my current choices or actions or is just being grabby. Tarot is generally freeform and for more in-depth conversations where I need to be able to track the flow of it after. Dreams are for shadow- or subconscious work or for teasing or sex; omens are typically a check-in if I’ve been feeling insecure or could really use some reassurance. 

Meditation is something I’m fairly practiced at and use as a tool for godphone, trance, and journey stuff. It’s not so much a method of communication as it is an enhancer of whatever’s being communicated or a preparation for trance/doubled sensation/journeying. “Godphone,” for me, is actually rarely auditory or visual; I’m more likely to wind up with tactile, interoceptive, proprioceptive, or empathic input, or some combination of the above. Scent sometimes. Taste and sight are the least likely (though I do get them sometimes) and sound is rare, though I do wind up with written or verbal communication that feels fairly distinct from the rest of my head; it just doesn’t generally come with actual sound attached. 

Oðin’s got a fairly distinct … feel? signature? scent? not!sound? I’m not super sure how to describe it other than to say that I do not have trouble telling Him apart from any of the others I currently talk to.* Trouble telling if it’s Him or my own head, sometimes, but not trouble with knowing that it’s Him and not Freyr. If I’m uncertain I’ll poke around a bit more or ask for some other form of confirmation, which is where Very Sarcastic shufflemancy and omens come in because, let’s be real, I’m almost always trying to find a loophole to avoid an unpleasant area of work that I know damn well needs doing, and which He seems to find amusing. This is probably at least 70% of my communication with Him, just because I talk at Him all the time if He’s around. 

I distinguish -- for myself, and I’m new at this part, y’all, so do not take me as any sort of expert -- between trance, where I’m still in my body and can still perceive the space around me but am also getting other forms of sensory input, and journey, where I am definitely embodied but am very definitely not on my couch or bed or whatever or for that matter necessarily human. These may be differences of type or degree, I’m not really sure, shit is still new and only recently in my wheelhouse. Wouldn’t be doing it at all if the Two-Man Con weren’t so damn pushy and persuasive** about it.

Anyway. Trance and journey stuff is maybe like -- 15-20% of communication depending on day or week or whatever. Sviðrir pushes those sometimes if I’ve gone to Him asking for calming,*** Old Wolf gets pretty insistent about at least getting my toes wet at least once a week or thereabouts; it really just depends. Sensory input is much stronger and more immediate like that, it’s about the only time I might get any visual data at all, though even then it’s really only if I’m in a different shape that strongly prioritizes eyes over other senses. Sometimes this is really just to calm me down or give me something to focus on, sometimes it’s to deal with nervous energy, sometimes it feels more like a lesson than anything else, sometimes it’s for VERY kinky sex Because the Old Pervert. I tend to enjoy it once I’ve gotten past the reflexive sour-grapes-face, but it definitely requires more focus and seems to take more out of me.

*Caveat: I have a sort of wryly amused suspicion that Oðin and Loki swap faces every so often for shits and giggles very serious and inscrutable purposes. This does not bother me so long as They don’t do it to my discomfort or detriment, which I have told Them, and which They have so far been good about. 

**Informing me with that particular bastard grin that sex is great but kissing isn’t happening until I get better at trance and journey stuff is a violation of the fucKING GENEVA CONVENTIONS get back here You BASTARDS!