#communication methods

Day 10: What method(s) do you usually use to contact your deity? (Tarot, godphone, etc.) Why do you like using that method?

With Oðin, combination godphone, meditation, trance- or journey-work, tarot, some shufflemancy, dreams, signs and omens.... The shufflemancy is usually humorous and used to tease back and forth though sometimes gets rather more pointed -- as for example if He’s got some choice commentary on my current choices or actions or is just being grabby. Tarot is generally freeform and for more in-depth conversations where I need to be able to track the flow of it after. Dreams are for shadow- or subconscious work or for teasing or sex; omens are typically a check-in if I’ve been feeling insecure or could really use some reassurance. 

Meditation is something I’m fairly practiced at and use as a tool for godphone, trance, and journey stuff. It’s not so much a method of communication as it is an enhancer of whatever’s being communicated or a preparation for trance/doubled sensation/journeying. “Godphone,” for me, is actually rarely auditory or visual; I’m more likely to wind up with tactile, interoceptive, proprioceptive, or empathic input, or some combination of the above. Scent sometimes. Taste and sight are the least likely (though I do get them sometimes) and sound is rare, though I do wind up with written or verbal communication that feels fairly distinct from the rest of my head; it just doesn’t generally come with actual sound attached. 

Oðin’s got a fairly distinct … feel? signature? scent? not!sound? I’m not super sure how to describe it other than to say that I do not have trouble telling Him apart from any of the others I currently talk to.* Trouble telling if it’s Him or my own head, sometimes, but not trouble with knowing that it’s Him and not Freyr. If I’m uncertain I’ll poke around a bit more or ask for some other form of confirmation, which is where Very Sarcastic shufflemancy and omens come in because, let’s be real, I’m almost always trying to find a loophole to avoid an unpleasant area of work that I know damn well needs doing, and which He seems to find amusing. This is probably at least 70% of my communication with Him, just because I talk at Him all the time if He’s around. 

I distinguish -- for myself, and I’m new at this part, y’all, so do not take me as any sort of expert -- between trance, where I’m still in my body and can still perceive the space around me but am also getting other forms of sensory input, and journey, where I am definitely embodied but am very definitely not on my couch or bed or whatever or for that matter necessarily human. These may be differences of type or degree, I’m not really sure, shit is still new and only recently in my wheelhouse. Wouldn’t be doing it at all if the Two-Man Con weren’t so damn pushy and persuasive** about it.

Anyway. Trance and journey stuff is maybe like -- 15-20% of communication depending on day or week or whatever. Sviðrir pushes those sometimes if I’ve gone to Him asking for calming,*** Old Wolf gets pretty insistent about at least getting my toes wet at least once a week or thereabouts; it really just depends. Sensory input is much stronger and more immediate like that, it’s about the only time I might get any visual data at all, though even then it’s really only if I’m in a different shape that strongly prioritizes eyes over other senses. Sometimes this is really just to calm me down or give me something to focus on, sometimes it’s to deal with nervous energy, sometimes it feels more like a lesson than anything else, sometimes it’s for VERY kinky sex Because the Old Pervert. I tend to enjoy it once I’ve gotten past the reflexive sour-grapes-face, but it definitely requires more focus and seems to take more out of me.

*Caveat: I have a sort of wryly amused suspicion that Oðin and Loki swap faces every so often for shits and giggles very serious and inscrutable purposes. This does not bother me so long as They don’t do it to my discomfort or detriment, which I have told Them, and which They have so far been good about. 

**Informing me with that particular bastard grin that sex is great but kissing isn’t happening until I get better at trance and journey stuff is a violation of the fucKING GENEVA CONVENTIONS get back here You BASTARDS!

If you scroll through a list of current and former ICs, you’ll find most of them are usually some kind of structured communication system. Non-Violent Communication (NVC) is one of the most widely used, but there are a few others that are popular. It’s true that you need communication skills in order to live and work with others, and trying to develop a shared system with rules is an admirable goal. However, people with lots of experience in learning and living with these systems point out that they’re very open to manipulation from skilled individuals who realize how to “work the system”. When you bring this up to the designers and teachers of these systems, you tend to get “No True Scotsman” responses in the form of “Those people aren’t really using the system, just kick them out/ignore them”. So it seems like it’s better to develop a set of less structured guidelines and techniques for strong communication rather than using a complete system that has backdoors and loopholes that the creators won’t address. One list of communication principles I found somewhere listed on some community’s website included:

We commit to speaking to others respectfully both in meetings and outside of them. When others tell us what feels respectful or disrespectful to them, we listen and do our best to adjust our speech.

We commit to giving and receiving constructive criticism that affects the well-being of the community and its members.

We commit when something isn’t going well for us to ask for help or try to talk about our experience and needs rather than the wrongness or rightness of someone else or their actions.

We commit to actively address conflict and resolve issues through discussion, mediation, intervention if necessary, and creative problem-solving.

I’ve seen a lot of good information cut and paste or screenshotted from books written for the children of neglectful or abusive parents discussing building communication skills that would be great for an IC setting. I’m hoping to mine some of those resources later to put together a more general “learn to communicate and deal with conflict” free guide PDF that isn’t just based around “Only ever use I statements” or “Control your emotions perfectly at all times”.

In today’s digital age, many of us have become accustomed to communicating through text messages, emails, and social media. While these methods of communication certainly have their advantages, there are also significant benefits to picking up the phone and having a conversation with someone. Here are some reasons why talking on the phone can be more beneficial than texting. Subscribe and let’s…

Stay Close: Tips for Parents During Camp Season

Summer camp is an exciting time for children, offering them a chance to explore, learn new skills, and make lifelong friends. However, for parents, the separation can be bittersweet, stirring up feelings of worry and nostalgia. It’s important to maintain a balance between staying connected with your child and giving them the space to grow and enjoy their camp experience. This blog provides practical tips for parents on how to stay close to their children during camp season, ensuring a positive experience for both.

Introduction: The Importance of Staying Connected

Maintaining a connection with your child while they’re at summer camp has emotional benefits for both the parent and the child. It can ease the transition for children adjusting to being away from home and provide parents with peace of mind. However, it’s crucial to strike a balance between staying in touch and allowing your child the independence to immerse themselves fully in the camp experience.

Choosing the Right Communication Method

Before camp starts, familiarize yourself with the camp’s policies on communication. Some camps may allow phone calls, while others might restrict communication to emails and letters. Understanding these policies will help you choose the most suitable communication method.

Digital vs. Traditional Communication – **Pros of Digital**: Instant delivery, easier for quick updates. – **Cons of Digital**: Less personal, might not be allowed by all camps. – **Pros of Traditional (Letters)**: Personal touch, excitement of receiving mail. – **Cons of Traditional**: Delay in delivery, requires more effort.

## Crafting the Perfect Letter or Email

When writing to your child, aim to encourage and comfort them. Share family news but keep the tone upbeat. Ask open-ended questions about their activities, friends, and what they’re learning, to encourage more than a one-word response. For example, “What was the most exciting thing you did today?” instead of “Did you have fun today?”

## Care Packages: A Touch of Home

Sending a care package can be a wonderful way to remind your child of home. Consider including: – Favorite snacks (that comply with camp rules). – A small game or book. – Personalized items like photos or a handwritten note.

Be mindful of the camp’s rules regarding packages and aim to send them at a time when your child might be needing a boost, such as halfway through their stay.

Encouraging Independence While Staying Connected

Use your communications to boost your child’s confidence. Remind them of their strengths and encourage them to try new things. For parents, it’s also essential to find strategies to cope with feelings of separation. Engaging in your hobbies or planning a project can be a constructive way to manage your anxiety.

Embracing the Camp Experience Together

When your child returns from camp, take the time to listen to their stories and learn about their experiences. Plan activities that allow them to share their camp life with you, such as a photo slideshow or a camp-themed dinner where they can recreate their favorite camp meal. This not only strengthens your bond but also shows your child that you value their independence and adventures.

Post-Camp Activities – **Photo Slideshow Night**: Gather around and let your child show off their camp photos, explaining each memory. – **Camp-Themed Dinner**: Prepare a meal together based on a camp favorite, encouraging stories about camp life.

Summer camp is more than just a break for kids; it’s a journey of self-discovery and independence. By staying connected in thoughtful ways, you can support your child’s adventure while nurturing your relationship, ensuring that the camp experience is enriching for everyone involved.

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