I was talking to my therapist about the combination of having OCD and ADHD when it comes to doing chores or other things you need to do and she was like
OCD often makes you need to do things in a very particular way, while ADHD gets overwhelmed by the extra number of steps and precision needed and often makes you unable to do the thing, which just has your OCD screaming in the back of your head at all times.
As an example:
There are a lot of dishes in the sink. My ADHD caused me to forget that dishes need to be done, because "I'll do them later" turned into "oh god it's been a week." But here I am, finally getting ready to do them!
But! My OCD can't handle me touching the gross dishes or having water splash on me, so I have to put on gloves and an apron. Did my ADHD ass remember where I put those? Do I have to go look for them?
Assuming I have them, I start washing, but there is one spot on a glass I can't get out. I know that it's probably nothing, just a stain on the glass I won't be able to get out, but I will have to go through every dish scrubbing utensil I have to try to get it out until I finally accept I can't. So that could easily be several minutes spent on one dish. My ADHD's ability to focus isn't going to last much longer.
But okay, I did some dishes and they need to dry. If I'm drying them with a towel, my OCD can easily get caught up in making sure it's 100% completely dry, which isn't too bad for plates, but things like water bottle lids have way more nooks and crannies.
Well, I have a dish drainer, so I can just set those in there and put them up later. Let's focus on the dishes that I was able to dry. I need to put them up.
My OCD has a very particular way the dishes need to be in the cabinets. Unfortunately, it's not a way I always know until I start putting them up. Maybe I do know it, but the space doesn't allow it, so I have to figure out a new way that works. And maybe some of the dishes clink together in ways that trigger my sensory sensitivity (OCD and ADHD combo) or otherwise stress me out (what if the dishes break), so I might have to rearrange with that in mind, or put those dishes away more carefully to prevent the clinking.
So now I'm taking everything out of the cabinets and putting them back up and taking some of them back down and putting them back up and rearranging them and at the end of it all, I have put one plate up. But at least I know where the other dishes go!
What's that?
A dish that isn't the same size of any of the other dishes that are already in the cabinet and can't fit easily into the designated space?
Let's do it all again!
But wait! What about the dishes on the drying rack? Now I have to fight my ADHD to actually remember and have the energy to put them up, and then my OCD to not want to rearrange each time I put up a new dish, and knowing that will be a struggle makes it even harder to not have my ADHD to feel too overwhelmed to start putting them up in the first place.
And this is ignoring any fatigue issues or other disabilities I or anyone else may have, or any other factors at play.
Thankfully for me, my roommate is the one doing the cooking and usually the one doing the dishes, so I am able to leave the organization of the kitchen to her. This hasn't prevented me from having a panic attack and needing to rearrange the whole kitchen, or having issues when I'm putting up the dishes, but it's easier for me if I can have that bit of decision making on someone else. I'm doing it how she wants it since this is her space. But that obviously can't help everywhere, and is just a temporary coping mechanism.
