āBeen a lot of places And none of them were home Always told myself that I'd be Better off alone Float up from my body Been longing for the moon
If I left the world Would anybody miss me while I look down on this city thinkin' "Should I have loved you more?" And maybe you'd be with me, darlinā If I hadn't gone, and left the world ā
Do you remember my Ventrue Vasilisa I painted a few weeks ago? This is her second half, her younger brother & Childe Anton. If it was up to him, he would not even be here anymore. But he is still here, because of her...
Anton is blood bonded to Vasilisa, and he knows that she does all of the things that she does for him, because she believes that it is what he needs to finally embrace this existence. Somehow, she thinks that he needs the influence and power.And that putting him in the position of being the Ventrue Primogen and making everyone think that he is a man that was born to lead will somehow make all of his doubts and melancholy go away.
Anton knows she loves him, and he loves her too, she is his sister, and she has always tried to protect him, but deep in his heart he feels like a lifeless puppet that only exists because she canāt let go of him.
He hates this existence, and feels like he shouldnāt have ever been allowed into this life, he was supposed to die and after years of dealing with his declining health he found solace in the idea of death.
Yet now he was stuck in a life where he was neither alive nor truly dead, feeling like a ghost yet still having to pretend, to feel and to dream.
He never shares these deep thoughts of emptiness and sadness with anyone anymore, he used to share them with Vasilisa, but after a while he realized that she just cannot comprehend it and only gets upset at him and his inability to enjoy the new chance he got at life.
And of course, it had crossed his mind more than a few times to wait for the sun to see it for the last time, but he canāt bring himself to disappoint Vasilisa like this, after all that she had done and is still doing for him.
Instead, he pretends and acts as she wishes him to, fulfilling her expectations of his unlife, while his mind often drifts away...
There was a time in his unlife when he was quite content and even thought he might find a purpose and some joy in this existence. When he gradually fell in love with one of the daughters of their ghoul family that they raised and employed in various positions around their estate. He had seen her grow up, content and even happy with her life, never realizing that she was never really free. He wished he was living in such obliviousness.
Josephine made him feel a bit more connected to the present, he loved to watch her dance and often took her to the social events, because she was so charming and graceful with her black hair and big, blue eyes, he enjoyed showing her off.
There was a lot that he couldnāt talk to her about, but even despite that she made him want to feel more alive. He even told her he wanted to marry and even Embrace her if it was what she desired.
Unfortunately, that never happened, not long after he expressed his desires for Josephine to join him and Vasilisa, he was manipulated into trading Josephineās life for a valuable information with the Nosferatu.
He didnāt want to do it, but he was pressured by Vasilisa and he regrets it to this day. He believes Josephine was either murdered or thrown somewhere in the depth of the sewers to be a part of a herd for Nosferatu.
He doesnāt know it, but the truth is Vasilisa was the one who set everything with the Nosferatu, so she could get rid of Josephine. At first she was happy that Anton found himself some occupation, after all it was just a ghoul, a beautiful woman, but still just a property. But when Anton told her that he wants not to only marry her, but also ask Prince for the Embrace permit, Vasilisa kept calm, but inside she was livid.
S She couldnāt let him waste such great opportunity on a ghoul, she would never allow him to Embrace anyone who was not of their blood. They were a family and she intended to keep it that way, even if it meant disposing of a woman her brother have loved.
She didnāt feel guilty, because she felt she was doing it for him, but she knew he wouldnāt understand, so she had to make it seem as it was a Nosferatu demand and she had nothing to with it.
Everyone knew how much of a pride trophy Josephine was to Anton, so it wasnāt hard to convince him that the Nosferatu would want to take it away from him to teach him a lesson or just to make him feel as bitter as they are. While he believes she is gone forever, Lazarus actually decided not to kill her, because he grew fond of her and decided to Embrace her instead. But no one except him knows that Mirabelle is actually Josephine, Antonās former ghoul lover.
Dominate abilities never came naturally to Anton and he avoids using them on people whenever possible and only resorts to Dominate if there isnāt any other choice. It always leaves him confused and with a horrible headache as if each time he does it, he lost a part of himself. There is also the moral aspect of invading privacy of one place, everyone has a right to feel safe and alone with their thoughtsā¦
To other Kindred he might come off as quite cold and distant, always straight on the topic and unapproachable, but the more perceptive Kindred might pick up on him hiding a fragile, pained man who couldnāt care less about Kindred society or power.
Anton Ā© me/doloresdraws lyrics Ā© If I left the world by Gryffin, feat. Marina & Model child












