#oa writes

You wake up in the usual hole.

The stench of alcohol and grime surrounds you.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

You look over texts from Uika, desperately asking where you are, if you are safe.

A reminder of a better place. Of someone you love.

You ignore her.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

At school, you overhear your classmates talk about your favorite band.

You don't even bat an eye.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

Leaving school, you find yet another sticky note from Tomori inside your locker.

A reminder of a better time. Of someone you love.

You read it then crumple it up.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

At work, you overhear your coworkers talking behind your back.

"Isn't she the Togawa heiress?"

"Isn't that Oblivionis of Mujica?"

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

The way home is covered with familiar faces.

Mutsumi covers every billboard and Nyamu every screen.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

Your father cries at you "why would you give it up for me? Why do you waste your time? Is it so I suffer?!"

He throws another beer can.

He misses.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

Your mother's doll watches over you, as always.

You feel nothing. It doesn't matter anymore.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You feel nothing.

You keep telling yourself that.

You have blocked Uika, but you read every message she sent every morning.

You'd hum Morfonica songs if you thought no one was listening.

You keep every one of Tomori's sticky notes, arranged neatly in a beloved notebook.

You wince in frustration at work.

You look away so the images of Mortis and Amoris can't see you.

You still recoil when your father tries to hit you.

You turn your mother's doll away, as if ashamed of it seeing you like this.

You are in pain.

Everything reminds you that you are still human, that you still feel and still love.

And it hurts too much.

It hurts until your heart goes numb.

In the end, it only reminds you how much you hate yourself.

It doesn't matter anymore.

A lost cause.

You wish Uika and Tomori would realize that.

You wake up in the usual hole.

It is now a sterile prison for dolls.

Your grandfather greets you instead of your father.

But nothing else has changed.