I’m so happy today, it’s insane.  I’m almost afraid to say it out loud, but so far, none of the little dumb shit that usually bothers me has fazed me today.  I must have slept well, because I’m good and awake, and I only drank my green tea for the benefits besides caffeine.

I’m really pleased with my new hairstyle.  It’s so easy, and pretty, and shows off my new earrings really well.  Pics are all over the place, so if you follow me, you’ve seen them…  Or just check my actual blog, they’re there.  I’m going to keep it like this through the summer, I think.

So I mentioned on my Instagram that I’ll be talking about something that made me feel better about myself.  I know that the things I’ve been putting myself through spiritually have opened me up enough to be ready for this, and I wouldn’t have been ready otherwise.

My face has been explained.  Okay, so I know this is probably weird, and a little too much into my personal stuff for some of you, but I’ve been told that I’m ugly my whole life by my peers, and it’s been really crushing.  There’s nothing I can do about the way I look besides cover myself in make-up, and I don’t believe in that.  So, it’s either get over my face, or get over my aversion to make-up.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if other people use it, I just don’t think it’s good for me, knowing my physiology.  So, I was scrolling through my Facebook, and I noticed a post from The rH Negative Club, which I belong to because I’m type O-.  They just opened a website, and they’re posting new member photos. Well, what struck me was that the girl in the photo had my face.  I mean, not mine, exactly, but almost all of the same features, and I was stunned.  I also thought she was quite beautiful.  I responded about the face shape and features, and was told by the mod that all of my features are common to the blood type.  Not only is this true, but another rH- crusader has informed me that many children who are not rH-, and have different features see our features as different, and call us “ugly” because we’re different.  

I don’t know why this struck me so hard, but I almost cried.  I’m exactly who and what I’m supposed to be, and I don’t hate it anymore.  This is big.  I’m holding back tears just typing about it.  I know it might seem stupid to be hung up on something so superficial, but it’s been a constant battle in my life, and I finally feel like it’s over, and I can be okay with myself.  I’m not ugly. I’m different, and among my community, I’m just another oval-shaped face with sunken cheekbones and almond eyes that are just a little farther apart than normal.  

I’m okay.  For once in my life, I’m okay.  I’m not even going to say some shit like “we’ll see how long it lasts,” because I don’t want to think that way anymore; I refuse.  I know what I want, and where I’m comfortable, and how to live, and how to be, and I’m there.  If I’m not really “there,” I’m so close, I can taste it, and it tastes damn good.