#nyxpov

I wanted to explore Nyx's side of the story so here it is!

Warnings: slight angst

All characters belong to SJM

Link to A03 Part 1 Part 2

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My feet carried me to the chamber that was occupied by my mother. After the long day of celebrations, I wanted to spend my time in quiet. I wanted to spend time with her.

Opening the large doors, I stepped into her room. It was the same as it always was. Bare, clean, and … quiet.

On the bed before me, laid my sleeping mother. She looked beautiful as ever.

She had been asleep my entire life. I wouldn’t have had a single memory of her if my father didn’t have the abilities he possesses. He used them whenever I asked him to show me her, even if it pained him.

I know my father came here more than he cared to admit. I visited her fairly often too.

At every major milestone, I would come here and tell her, hoping she could hear.

I sat on the bed next to her, placed her hand in mine, and pressed a soft kiss to her hand.

“Hi mum,” I whispered, tears already threatening to spill, “It’s my birthday. I just turned 100.”

“We had a whole celebration. Aunt Mor planned all of it. She invited so many people, I couldn’t even tell you a single name I remember.”

I chuckled remembering all the introductions while I was trying and failing to remember just a single name. Especially when she tried playing matchmaker, along with Uncle Cass. Thankfully my father had my back. I don’t know what I would do without him.

The smile on my face fell.

“I wish you could have been there,” my voice cracked and the tears I was holding back fell, “I miss you so much, mum. You are the only thing I ever wish for.”

I thought back to the moment I blew out my candles. Aunt Elain had made a massive cake, decorated with the night sky and 100 shining stars. 100 perfectly arranged candles flickered in front of my face and while everyone was singing happy birthday, I decided what I would wish for. Blowing them out I held onto that wish, hoping it would come true.

I sat off her bed, brushing the hair from her face, just watching her endless sleep.

A soft breeze floated in through a window and my wings began to twitch.

I brought her hand to my mouth again and pressed a soft kiss on top.

“I love you mum. Even if I’ve never met you, you mean so much to me. I will be back soon,” I paused to calm my rising sadness, then repeated again just to make sure she knows, “I love you.”

I stood from the bed and took one last look at a mother I’ve never met yet means so much to me.

Begrudgingly I left the room and walked toward the open balcony. The wind ruffled my wings, sending a thrill through me. But tonight would be a solemn flight.

I unfurled my wings and took off into the night sky. I left wisps of my power float around and tangle in my legs, arms, and hair. It lifted a weight off my chest, one I hadn’t realised I was carrying.

I flew and flew and flew, until my wings could no more.

I landed softly, looking around at the frosted grass. I laid down on the grass, ignoring the chill.

Watching the stars was my favourite thing to do. The stars and I have a lot in common. We’re both lonely, trying to find ourselves in a never-ending darkness. Looking at them made me feel whole, feel complete. They were home and no matter what, they would always be here.

The twinkling lights above brought a story to mind that my father showed me of mother,

I watched as Feyre poured herself a drink and then refilled mine before she met my gaze. So many emotions burned so fiercely in her. But an unending amount of empathy shone through. She understood me and reassured I wasn’t the only one to dream.

She lifted her glass and toasted, “To the people who look at the stars and wish, Rhys.”

I clicked my glass against hers, my former emotions drifting away until they were nothing but specks surrounded by the hollow darkness that I am. I toasted back, “To the stars who listen - and the dreams that are answered.”

It seems being a lonely dreamer runs in the family. I have one gift from my mother and it will always burn as brightly as her … hope.

And so I followed in my mother's footsteps, continuing to look up at the stars and wish.