#nuclear spring

So, this starts with the local currency of Laroth (Laroth is not a single country, and does not have a unified currency, but that’s for another post- I’ll just treat it as such here) which originally consisted of Chinese-style silver coins with holes in the middle. These holes meant that you could string them up on a piece of cord and carry large amounts of them easily that way. (This also served as a standardised unit, but again that’s for a future post about currency.)

People start wearing these strings on their belts, since pockets aren’t really a thing yet. Rich people, to show off, start wearing large amounts of them, all around their waists. Not only does this show off that they have that much money, it also shows that they can walk around in public with that much money without worrying about thieves and robbers, whether that is because they can afford to hire bodyguards or for some other reason. This still isn’t enough flaunting for some though, so they start using fancier materials, replacing the plain cord with gold/silver chains, or intricately patterned ribbons.

This currency stays around for a fairly long amount of time (how long exactly I haven’t decided yet) and this trend becomes pretty well-established in Larothan culture as a way for the rich to show off. It starts seeping into the fashion of the lower classes as well, as a set of plain ribbons or tassels attached to the belt.

Eventually, Laroth switches to coins without holes in them (again, Laroth has multiple currencies and not all of them did) and people started carrying their money in pockets (the medieval kind not the modern kind), purses, wallets, etc. The ribbons now end up entirely useless for carrying money, but by this point they’ve been a part of Larothan fashion for a long time and so they stick around, except since they can’t carry money it becomes entirely about the ribbons themselves.

Since they no longer have to serve a practical purpose, these evolve into many styles. Some are plain, just dyed with more expensive dyes (reds, blues, greens, purples). These are mostly worn by peasants and such. Then they get fancier with patterns and tassels and so on. Some incorporate bits of gold, silver, lumin, and other precious materials. Some have beads or glass or other decoration. Some have elements evoking the coins they once held, while others completely ignore the history of the garment and are made in ways that could never hold a coin.

“Um.” You turn your head, rather mechanically. Aether is looking at you, brows drawn together. “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” you say, and it’s only when your voice breaks that you realize that you’re crying. You bring your hand up to your cheek and it comes away wet.

“Do you want to sit down for a bit?” Seersha asks from your other side.

“No. I’m okay. Just, uh.” You bring your sleeve up to your face, then hesitate, unwilling to dirty your fancy clothes with snot and saliva. “Um.”

“Oh, hold on.” Aether pats around at his clothes before retrieving a cloth. “Here, turn toward me.”

He dabs at your face, careful not to be rough. It’s such a delicate, comforting touch that you have to fight not to break down into a fountain of tears once more.

“Feeling better?” Seersha asks.

“Yeah,” you mumble. “Sorry. I didn’t realize that was going to happen.” You sniff. “I’ll try not to do that again.”

“It’s okay,” Aether says, immediately frantic to soothe you. “Don’t worry about it. This is all a lot for you and you didn’t sleep well last night-”

“We’re still on a diplomatic mission,” Seersha says. “It’s not good for part of the entourage to start sobbing.” Aether glares at her and mutters something about her being insensitive, but you wave him off.

“I’m fine. She’s right. I think I just got overwhelmed. I’ll be okay from now on.” You give your eyes one final wipe. “Where exactly are we going?”

“This way,” Aether says, striding confidently down the middle of the street. You and Seersha follow after him. It takes some effort to keep up with him, mostly because you keep getting distracted and stopping to take in the sights.

The city has a lot to distract you with. The people are a sight in and of themselves. There are the ones you’ve grown used to seeing- harpies and teiflings and the occasional sea folk, like Aether. But there are more that you’ve never seen. People with digitigrade legs and long ears like rabbits. People fluttering along with butterfly wings. People with scaled tails and horns who snort sparks and smoke. People who have leaved branches growing out of their heads and skin with a woody texture. You can’t stop staring. Eventually, Seersha grabs your arms and starts dragging you along.

“You know if you stare at people, they’re going to stare back,” she mumbles out of the corner of her mouth.

“I thought I was disguised,” you mumble back. The formal robes you’re wearing have a bit of padding around the back, to make it look like you have extra musculature built up on your shoulders and chest. There’s no way to completely disguise you as something nonhuman. Well, technically, there’s magic, but no one who knows about you also knows the sort of magic required to convincingly make you look like another species. Unfortunately, most people look distinct enough from humans that there’s no easy way to disguise yourself without magic. You have to settle for pretending to be a harpy without wings, and even then, you can’t remove your overcloak without showing that you lack the muscle and bone structure to be one of those. It’s an awkward situation to be in, especially because your cloak is a little awkwardly weighted and you have to hold onto some of the fabric to keep it in position.

“You’re disguised enough,” Seersha mutters back, drawing you back to the present. “You’re not disguised well enough to stand up to that much scrutiny.”

You cast a nervous glance at the passers-by who are giving you curious looks. Some ignore you altogether, but you can tell that some, especially harpies, are giving you outright stares. Admittedly, they’re sympathetic stares, but that’s not making you feel much more comfortable.

“Is it going to hold up?” you whisper back.

“Probably. But it’s still not a good idea to call that much attention to yourself.” She looks ahead and gives a tiny smirk. “Luckily, Aether seems to be bearing the brunt of that for us.”

It’s true- people may be looking at you a little bit, but most of the stares you’re getting are directed entirely at Aether. His entire demeanor seems to have changed, too. Usually, he slouches a little bit, acts shy and nervous. His expression is usually full of tentative curiosity and sweetness. Now, he’s drawn himself up, back stiff and arms folded placidly in front of him. His expression is heavy-lidded and remote. Combine that with the fine clothes he’s wearing, and he looks every bit the part of the haughty noble.

The walk through the city isn’t long before you come to the central government building. It looks like some kind of combination between a castle and a church. There are multiple conical spires, including a central one that holds a bell inside. The walls are covered with stained glass portraits depicting events that you can barely make sense of. Through the massive, arching double doors, you can see that the inside is an enormous hall with people milling about around desks, sitting areas, and what appears to be a small library.

Aether sweeps into the hall and stops dead. You stop as well, mostly to prevent yourself from walking straight into his back. Seersha steps around him with practiced ease and heads toward the closest desk, where a bored-looking tiefling is sorting through papers. Seersha taps on the counter to draw their attention and they exchange a few words. The tiefling gestures broadly a few times, then rifles around the desk before handing Seersha a frankly enormous stack of paper. She waves for you and Aether to follow her, then heads toward the back of the hall.

There’s a lot of weaving around people to keep her in sight, and you can physically feel their stares on your back. People keep brushing against you. You have to cling to the inside of your cloak to prevent it from slipping.

Luckily, Seersha leads you to a much-less-crowded hallway and up a tight staircase. You already knew your muscle tone was absolutely shot, but it must be even worse than you thought, because after one flight of stairs, you’re wheezing like an asthmatic in a coal mine.

“Seersha,” Aether says. “Hold on.” He turns back to you, one of his hands splaying nervously over your back. “Are you all right?”

You wheeze again. “I don’t think… I’m used… to stairs.” You double over, hands on your knees. “Give me a second.”

Seersha frowns. “Are you sure you’re feeling well? I didn’t think this would be that physically exhausting for you. You managed to cellar stairs all right at home.”

“Those were shorter,” you pant. “And I don’t think the weighted clothes are helping.” You adjust your cloak again and straighten up. “Okay. Good to keep going.”

Both Seersha and Aether slow down quite a bit as they continue up the staircase, which you appreciate. Still, you’re starting to feel straight up dizzy when you stop at the top of the staircase. Aether and Seersha take another pause to allow you to collect yourself before heading toward another large set of arched double doors.

Seersha pushes them open and a warm breeze ruffles your clothes. The doors lead to what appears to be some kind of enormous balcony. There’s a cloth awning stretched over part of it, and that seems to be where the majority of the desks and workspace is. But further away from the door, there’s just blue sky and sun. A group of people stand near the balcony’s edge, clearly having some sort of animated discussion.

As you walk out from under the awning, you find yourself staring almost directly up in amazement. There are people flying above you, close enough that you can make out their facial features. A short distance away, there’s an older man leading what appears to be a class full of flying children through the sky. And as you watch, you realize you can actually see people manipulating the weather. A uniformed group is systemically moving through the sky, actually grabbing and moving clouds toward specific locations or dispersing them with fan-like objects. It makes the sky look a bit unnatural, with the clouds kept in specific locations instead of being spread over the sky like a blanket.

“Our weather system is impressive, isn’t it?” You barely resist the urge to jump out of your skin. There’s an older woman standing near you, wearing some kind of richly embroidered robe. “It’s one of the more organized ones in the city. It’s based on a grid system- different grids can request different weathers, which makes it possible to attend to all our citizen’s needs at the same time.”

“Uh.” You nod a little awkwardly. “I, uh. Haven’t been somewhere with a system like this before.”

“New recruit,” Seersha says. “From the country. Not a lot of weather management out there.” She claps a hand on your shoulder. “First time in a city like this one, so forgive any staring.”

“Of course,” the older woman says. She turns toward Aether and dips her head into a brief bow. “We’re happy to accept your envoy, master of the sea.”

Aether nods back. “Your respect is appreciated, Lady Octania. Should we begin?”

Octania led us over to a table covered in maps and diagrams, settled right at the edge of the balcony so you can overlook the sea. Aether takes a seat at the head of the table. You and Seersha stand on either side of him while Octania sits at the other end of the table. She’s similarly flanked by guards. You try to mimic their posture, though standing with your back so straight and your arms folded behind you is exhausting after only a few minutes.

The conversation between Aether and Octania is not one you follow very well. A lot of what they discuss seems to be some political minutia that makes no sense to you. They spend at least half an hour discussing exactly how some specific clay imports to the city are going to be affected by the regime change. You try to pay attention, but much more of your brain is focused on trying to find a position that doesn’t make your shoulders and feet hurt.

You only tune back in when the voices start escalating. Neither of them are yelling, exactly, but both of them are speaking more forcefully than they were a minute ago.

“Our city is growing, and allowances to fishing rights in your territory would enable us to feed more people. Without it, our food allowances may grow dangerously thin,” Octania says. Aether shakes his head.

“My sibling has been clear on their position on this subject matter. Your fishing methods can be damaging to our lands. You can purchase food from us so that we can continue to use our own fishing methods.”

“Purchasing from you is more expensive, which is the purpose of being allowed to hunt on our own! We would pay for the usage of the area, but we need to be allowed to do so.”

Ugh. There’s a rising tension in the air. It takes all your strength to fight back the surge of tense-nervous-sickness that surges through your body. It reminds you of what things were like Before. The escalating fights that kept going on and on, while you watched helplessly, sick and terrified, until-

Somewhere in the depths of the city, something makes an incredibly loud BANG!

There’s a confusing fifteen seconds where you’re not entirely sure what’s happening. You think maybe you scream, but it’s hard to be sure. All you know for sure is that you come back to full awareness crouched on the ground, hands over your head.

“There’s some demolition going on. Usually magic dampeners are placed up, but if something manages to rupture the dampeners, then the noise carries some distance,” Octania is saying. The implication of her words slowly sinks into your brain. It’s demolition. Planned. You’re not under attack. It’s fine. Your body doesn’t seem to be registering that, though. Your heart is hammering, your breathing is rapid and shaky, and you can’t seem to unlock your limbs. “Is your guard all right?” Octania’s voice is closer and you get the feeling you’re being studied. “I understand it may have been startling, but-”

“It’s an adverse reaction. Old accident, you know how it is.” Seersha’s voice is sharp and casual in the same tone, brushing it off while also leaving no room for argument. From the direction her voice is coming from, you can tell she’s standing between you and Octania.

“I think we should take a brief recess,” Aether says. He’s trying to sound casual, but there’s no mistaking the anxiety in his voice. He already seems to be edging toward you. “Give us a few minutes to recollect. It’s probably better to think things over anyway, look at our options again since we’re having difficulty coming to an agreement.”

“Yes, all right. There’s an unused room if you go back into the building and then take the second door on your left. You can take some time in there.” It’s hard to tell what she’s thinking from her voice, but you’ve recovered enough to feel blisteringly embarrassed. You hope she doesn’t sound as annoyed as you think she does.

“Come on. You can stand, right? I’ll help you up.” Seersha braces an arm over your back, half pulling you upright. Her touch is confusing. You want to lean into it, but it also feels like too much and you want to lean away. You have to focus on the soft sound of her voice to ground you. Aether sweeps in on your other side, speaking in similarly soft, encouraging tones.

You’re dimly aware of the door to the building opening, of going inside, and entering the empty room. The second you’re through the doorway, you start scrambling with the heavy robes around your shoulders.

“Get it off, get it off,” you moan. Aether gets it before Seersha does, and he helps strip the robe from your body. As soon as the weight is off you, you can breathe easier. “Sorry,” you mumble, covering your face with your hands. “Sorry, I’m sorry, it’s stupid, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Seersha says. “Breathe, okay? Breathe. You can just breathe for me, right?”

Breathe. Yes. You know how to do that. You take in a massive, gulping breath, then let it out gently. Seersha pats your shoulder. “Good. Keep going, just like that.”

“Sorry,” you mumble again. “I am, I’m sorry-”

“You’re okay, you don’t need to apologize.” Aether is stroking your head now, while Seersha trails a hand up and down your back. “Keep breathing until you feel better, okay?”

It takes only a few minutes for your breathing to become steady again. Aether and Seersha help ground you and eventually, the panic fades. “I think I’m okay,” you say. “I didn’t mean for that to happen, I know it was dumb, I don’t know what came over me, I just panicked and-”

“Okay, okay, you don’t need to apologize!” Seersha says, waving her hands to cut you off. “It’s not your fault. You don’t control that kind of thing. I’m glad you’re feeling better, though.”

“What set it off?” Aether asks, his voice soft. His hand is still smoothing along your head, fingers tracing little patterns at the base of your skull. “Was it just the noise?”

“It was the noise and I think it was the arguing beforehand,” you say. “It just reminded me of everything that happened before… and then the noise and I was already so stressed that I think it just made me spiral.” You sniff. You’re not exactly crying, but the emotions are making your eyes watery. “I think I’m okay now. We can go back.”

Aether and Seersha look at each other and you can tell what they’re going to say even before they speak. “How about we take a little bit of a longer break?” Seesha suggests. “I think we could use a mini conference on how things are going so far anyway.”

It’s clear that they’re just trying to give you a break, but the pretense saves your dignity and you agree. Mostly, you just sit on the ground and breathe while Seersha and Aether debate back and forth about potential solutions to the land problem.

“What about you?” Seersha asks abruptly. You look up. “Have any opinions on the topic?”

“Uh,” you say. Politics was never your strong suit, even when you were back home and in a world that you fundamentally understood better than this one. “This thing is about, uh. Fishing rights?”

“Something like that. The city wants rights to fish in some of the waters at the edge of our territory. They would have to set up a small fishing outpost, since the city isn’t close by, but it would allow for more variety of food and it would be beneficial for the growing city. The issue is that landfolk often don’t have a lot of care for the places they fish in, moreso when it’s not near where they live and unlikely to affect them. It will, however, affect us. We’re more than willing to trade using our fishing and farming methods, but neither my sibling nor I are really willing to trust that they won’t screw things up for us if we give them free reign.”

You rub your forehead and try to keep your eyelids from drooping. The burst of panic really feels like it took a lot out of you. “Can you only allow fishing rights if they fish using your methods?”

“That’s the most likely solution,” Aether sighs. He massages at the junction between his shoulder and neck and rolls his head. He actually doesn’t look much better than you do. Politics must be exhausting, especially for someone who is generally as quiet as he is. “But it also means that we need to set up a new patrol unit to watch the area and we’ll have to decide on punishments for people who violate the rules and we have to set up a registration system so only people who actually have training in our methods can be allowed to fish and-” He breaks off and lets out a deep sigh. “Ugh. It’s the best solution, but that doesn’t make it any less tedious.”

Not for the first time since you’ve come here, you feel a wave of helplessness. You can’t do anything. You don’t know enough about the political situation to offer even marginally helpful advice, you dragged him out of a stressful meeting to take care of you while you had a breakdown, and you can barely even keep up with them physically. Tears start to sting at your eyes and you bite the inside of your lip, hard. No. No way. You’re not going to fall apart and make them take care of you again.

Once the tears have faded enough that you’re sure your voice will be steady, you clear your throat. “I’m ready to go back out there.”

Seersha gives you a critical look. You stare resolutely back at her. “Okay,” she says. “Do you want to sit, though? You look a little shaky.”

“No,” you say. The idea of having to go out and sit behind Aether while everyone else stands makes hot humiliation burn through you. “I’ll be all right.” You give Aether a pat on the back. “It’s not me that has the actually tough job anyway, right?”

He gives you a weak smile. “Well, it’s not an easy job, but I have been trained for it. I’ll manage.”

“I’ll be rooting for you,” you say, which makes Aether’s smile go wide and genuine.

“Here.” Seersha drapes your outer robe back around you. She removed it when you started panicking. The weight around your back and shoulders is awkward and heavy and only reminds you more of how bone-tired you feel now. Taking a deep breath, you square your shoulders and stiffen your spine. It’s fine. You can manage for a couple more hours, no problem. You just panicked a little. No reason to go collapsing into bed already.

The meeting picks up precisely where it left off. You stare resolutely ahead, trying to look as stern and focused as Seersha does. It’s not exactly working, at least in part because you’re swaying a little in place. One of the guards on the other side of the table keeps giving you a look that you can only interpret as skeptical.

The meeting eventually, mercifully, ends. You’ve mostly been focusing on standing up straight, so you’re not entirely sure what they decided on. Aether and Octania exchange some pleasantries before Aether leads you back into the building.

As soon as you’re out of sight of anyone else Aether practically rounds on you. Seersha doesn’t quite get so up close and personal, but you can tell she’s looking at you. “Do you need to sit down?” Aether asks. “You look quite…” He stops and looks over at Seersha like he’s not sure what to say next. “Er. Not in a bad way, but you seem very tired.”

“Nothing happened,” you say, though you do sort of feel like your limbs are made of jelly. “I shouldn’t be that tired.”

“You did have a bit of a panic attack,” Seersha says. “Those are exhausting.”

“We shouldn’t have anywhere else to be for a few hours,” Aether adds. “We can take a break for a little while.” He stretches and flicks his tail back and forth. “I would like to get out of these stupid robes.”

“I agree,” Seersha says. She gives you a stern look. “If you want to sit for a few minutes, you should tell us.”

“I’m fine,” you say. “Let’s go home.”

You stagger and stumble a few times on your way back to the house, but the reward of lying down in a soft, warm bed keeps you going. Once you get through the door, you make a beeline for the bedroom and collapse face-first onto the pillows.

You don’t fall asleep right away, so you hear Seersha and Aether shuffle into the room behind you, speaking quietly to each other. The conversation is hard to follow, since your mind keeps drifting and losing the thread, but you catch your name a few times. Part of you wishes you had enough energy to stay awake and eavesdrop, but the pillows are really soft and your head is spinning a little and you can’t resist the urge to bury yourself down into the bedsheets and sleep.

You wake up to someone shaking you. Automatically, you try to bury yourself further into the sheets- maybe they’ll go away if they see you’re still asleep. But they shake you again, and this time it’s accompanied by someone else poking at your leg. You groan and try to shake them off, but they come back again as soon as you stop moving. Exhausted of options, you crack open an eye.

Seersha’s face comes into focus first. She’s wearing makeup, which catches you a little off guard. She doesn’t usually wear makeup, does she? Her eyes are lined with black and dusted with gold powder. She’s wearing some sort of ornament in her hair, too, a gold clip decorated with little flowers.

“You’ve been asleep for most of the day,” she says. You turn your head toward the window and notice the reddening of the sky. Huh. Your body does have the heaviness and stiffness you associate with being asleep and unmoving for a long period of time. “Feeling better?”

“Uh.” You sit up slowly, flexing your arms and legs. “I think so. Still tired.”

“You’ve been dead to the world for the entire afternoon,” Aether says. “We actually tried to wake you earlier, but you weren’t having it.” That tickles a vague memory somewhere in your mind, the hazy idea of being woken up at some point and almost immediately rolling back over into sleep.

“Sorry,” you mumble, making the effort to push yourself upright.

“Don’t apologize for needing to sleep,” Seersha says. “But you should get yourself up for at least the end of the day. Might not be able to sleep tonight otherwise.”

“And we need to get dinner,” Aether says.

“Thought we had rations,” you mumble, still a little sleep-addled.

Aether’s face screws up. “We’re in a city! There’s no reason to eat trail rations.”

“They’re supposed to hold us over when we’re on the road, so there’s no reason to eat them when we have fresh food,” Seersha says. “And it’s a good way to learn about the city.”

“She says it all professional,” Aether mutters to you, “but she loves eating different kinds of food. I bet she’s more excited about this than I am.”

“What’s that?” Seersha says.

“Nothing,” Aether says cheerfully, then winked at you. A surprised giggle bubbles up in your chest.

Your clothes are rumpled, so Seersha gives you a different overcloak. You roll your shoulders as the heavy fabric settles back down on them. “I know it’s uncomfortable,” she says.

“It’s okay,” you say. “I just need to get used to it.” The weight is at least evenly distributed about that the cloak doesn’t slide about on your shoulders. Seersha fusses around with the fabric, smoothing her hands along your shoulders and back and your stomach does something very weird, though not unpleasant.

“Oh, I was thinking about that when I was out earlier!” Aether says. He rummages through some of his things for a moment before emerging with a little cloth bag. “Here!”

You carefully unwrap the little package. Within it are four little… buttons? Or brooches. They’re gold circles with little polished stones set in them. The stones are a pale pink color and so cold and smooth they feel wet to the touch.

“What… are they?” you ask after a moment, because they’re quite beautiful, but you can’t see how they’re going to be helpful in making your cloak less heavy.

“Oh!” Aether takes the pins back and gestures for you to spin around. “Usually these are used for luggage, if you’re really fancy, but I thought they might help you, too. And they go nice with your complexion, too, I think.” You can feel him tugging at your back, pinning each little brooch into place. “I just need to sync these up.” He does something, adjusting the pins a little bit more. “There we go.”

There’s a tingle, a little bit like static electricity, and suddenly the weight of the cloak vanishes from your shoulders. You automatically jerk your hands up to resecure it, but the cloak hasn’t shifted. You can feel the fabric beneath your hands, but the oppressive heaviness is gone.

“Like I said, mostly used so luggage doesn’t weigh so much,” Aether says, absently smoothing the cloak back into place. “It’s technically harder to use them on something like this because all the weight needs to be distributed evenly, but I thought they might come in handy. Should be easier for you to walk around like this.”

You take a deep breath. Without the weight on your shoulders, it feels so much easier to inhale. “Thank you. You really didn’t need to do this for me, but I really appreciate it.”

Aether ducks his head a little, and you catch a strange, purplish tint to his cheeks. Is he blushing? “I just thought it would be helpful for you.” He fusses with his hair for a few moments, his tail fin swishing across the floor. You catch Seersha’s eye and she gives a fond smirk.

“Let’s get going. I’m sure we’re all starving.” You and Aether fall into line behind her as she leads you out of the building.

By this point, it’s night, and you can’t help but stare at how gorgeous the city looks. It was pretty during the day, but at night, everything is covered in tiny, colored lights. People mill about on the street, visiting little illuminated stalls that sell all sorts of little trinkets.

“It’s the Night Market,” Aether explains. “The city’s well known for it, since it has a thriving nocturnal population. A lot of artists and artisans will sell their wares now, while the streets are busiest.”

You look around, taking in the sights of the city. There are people milling everywhere, the streets even more thickly crowded than previously. Seersha still seems to know the way, though, leading you through the city as easily as if she’d lived here her whole life.

“She’s got amazing directional instincts,” Aether explains to your questioning look. “I can do it too, technically, but only when we’re on water.”

“I can’t navigate my way out of a paper bag,” you mumble. Aether bursts into abrupt laughter so hard that he needs to stop walking and lean against a wall. Seersha pauses in her walking and looks back at you with a fond expression that makes something in your chest flutter. Aether claps his hand on your shoulder and that sends another shock of affection through you.

Okay. That’s something you’re going to have to process. They’re definitely making you feel things. You’ve never been particularly interested in romantic relationships- back on Earth, you were always either too busy or stressed to really bother with it. But you’re pretty sure the feelings they’re giving you are romantic.

It makes sense, doesn’t it? They’ve been nice to you. Sweet and kind and good at taking care of you. Feeling romantic toward them sounds reasonable. There’s a name for that, isn’t there? Nightingale syndrome?

But what do they feel toward you? They’re nice, of course, but they’re also trying to take care of you. It’s not like you’ve been doing anything for them. They’ve been hauling around your dead weight despite it definitely being a huge inconvenience to them. And… well. You’ve caught the way Aether looks at Seersha sometimes, and the way she relaxes in his presence. You’re not going to mess that up for them.

“Hey.” You start out of your thoughts. Seersha has a hand on your arm. You didn’t even feel her touch you, which you suppose means your jumpiness has been getting better. “Are you all right? You stopped walking.”

Aether gives you a worried look. “If you need to go back to the house, we can.”

“Oh, no, I was just thinking about something.” You fidget your cloak a little bit on your shoulders, feeling suddenly self-conscious. How expensive were the pins Aether got you? you hadn’t even thought about it. A surge of embarrassment makes you look at the ground. “We can keep going.”

Seersha gives you an odd look, but she shrugs. You follow her, keeping your eyes firmly fixated on her back. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Aether looking at you.

The restaurant you’re heading for is only a few blocks away, but all of you keep getting distracted. Aether pauses for nearly ten minutes in front of a booth with a bunch of intricately-crafted bracelets made of gold and patterned after the waves of the sea. Seersha is better at casually glancing at things, but she eventually get stopped by a booth selling wing blades. It doesn’t take her long to decide to buy them, but then she spends another ten minutes haggling. Aether offers to buy them for her about three times, probably to get her to move on, but she insists on wrangling the price down.

“You need to learn how to haggle,” she tells him as you walk away from the booth. “It’s a skill.”

“I don’t need to know how to haggle. I have enough money,” Aether responds.

“It’s not about having enough money, it’s about getting a fair price and not having to pay as much.”

“I like to trust that the seller knows what a fair price is for their wares,” Aether says, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips. Seersha bops him gently with a wing and he staggers for a second, pretending to be injured before slumping back over her and insisting she carry him.

You laugh with them, but it does give you a sharp stinging feeling in your chest. They’ve been friends with each other for far longer than you’ve known them. They have such ease with each other. They’re nice to you, but it’s not quite the same.

Your stomach twists in on itself as a sour sensation builds up in your throat. It’s almost funny. You’re jealous. Of both of them. At the same time. It’s funny, kind of. It just also hurts.

Someone brushes past you on the street and you realize that you’ve stopped moving. You look up, blinking away the wetness that kind of blurs your vision. A bit of a crowd has formed, and the generally dim lighting is not helping you make out the people around you. Nor is the variation in silhouettes- some people are enormously tall, some have extra limbs and some have branching horns. There’s a confusion of movement around you, and, in the midst of it, you have lost Seersha and Aether.

For a minute, it feels exactly like the time you lost your mom in a shopping mall. There’s a cold shock of terror that makes your mind run blank. Where did they go? Can you see them? You can’t make them out in the crowd. They could be a few feet away or half a block. People are still moving past you, some muttering in irritation at your stillness.

You move forward, because it seems like as good a direction as any other. About a third of your brain wants to run through the crowd, calling for Seersha and Aether, but the other two thirds insist it’s a bad idea. It makes you look vulnerable, not to mention that it would be hideously embarrassing.

Sick worry churns through you and your fingers tingle. It’s hard to breathe- you can feel that you’re taking little sips of air, but you can’t seem to stop doing it either. You’re not a child, you remind yourself. You’re an adult. There’s no need to panic. Just turn around and go back to the house. They’ll meet you there.

You turn and walk, trying not to look like you’re about to collapse or throw up or both. The panic is surging in the back of your mind, and it’s taking all your focus to remain put together. Okay. There were a few turns, but maybe you can use the booths as a sort of breadcrumb trail. You remember most of the ones you stopped at-

Fire. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see a burst of fire rise up from one of the booths. If you’d been calmer, you probably would have noticed that it’s small, contained fire, and probably done to give the passersby a bit of a show while cooking their food.

Unfortunately, you are not calm. You are one tiny trigger from falling into full-blown panic and a burst of unexpected fire is exactly what your brain needs to fall into shrieking terror.

Your thoughts cease. You run without direction, without care for any of the people around you. Some distant, barely-functioning part of your mind registers that there are people yelling at you- you’re pretty sure you actually bowl over a child at one point- but you don’t care. All you care about is get-away, get-away, get-away!

Adrenaline can only carry you so far, and eventually you’re exhausted enough that you stagger to a stop. The street is dimmer here, far away from the main portion of the city. There are a few people here, casting you odd looks as you stagger along. You can still hear the clamor of the city, but it’s distant and vague.

The last of the panic fades and takes its adrenaline with it. You manage to make it to a secluded area in the shadow of a building before you collapse. The ground is grimy, and you can already tell it’s staining your clothes, but you can’t get up again. Your legs refuse.

The reality of the situation is slowly sinking in. You’re alone, cowering in some dark corner of the city. If you weren’t lost before, you definitely are now. You could maybe make it back to the populated area of the city, but it would be blind wandering until you find something familiar. It could take hours, and you’ve already collapsed from exhaustion.

Fuck. This was supposed to be a nice night out with Aether and Seersha and you fucked it. They’re probably looking for you instead of enjoying their time in the city. How are they even going to find you? At least when you were nearby, you had a chance of wandering into them.

Slowly, you heave yourself to your feet. Your legs wobble. You feel sort of like you’re going to throw up, or pass out. But you stay standing and, after a moment, you collect yourself enough to stagger back toward the main portion of the city.

You make it about one block before you have to collapse again. Your legs just refuse to hold you. A growling from your stomach reminds you that you haven’t eaten in a while, which isn’t helping things.

Misery wells up in you, strong enough to make your limbs leaden and your mind foggy. This is all your fault. All your fault. Your own fault you’re out here, alone. Your own fault you’re lost. If you hadn’t panicked- If you hadn’t lost them in the first place-

You really are fucking helpless, aren’t you? Back home, you could just use your phone to navigate back to your hotel. Or use it to call for help. Or, hell, worst case scenario, you could always grab a bus or find a subway and figure your way home from there.

But here, you’re useless. Worse than useless, really. You recall the panic attack earlier and feel the heavy press of shame. Seersha and Aether take care of you almost constantly, and the first time they take you out anywhere, you get yourself lost.

Why would they feel anything toward you like you feel toward them? All you’ve done is be about the worst nuisance they could ask for.

You curl in on yourself, shivering in the cool night air. You can stay here. Maybe that’s better-

“There you are!”

You jump at the sudden voice and whip around. Aether is full-on sprinting at you, making a noise that’s either gasping for air or sobbing. He doesn’t so much as slow down before he barrels into you.

“Uff!” You nearly slam your head into the ground when Aether bowls you over, but one of his hands cradles it just in time. He squeezes you against him, burying his face in your shoulder.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” His voice is muffled, but its proximity to your ear means you can hear him just fine. “I’m so sorry, I should have noticed-”

“We should have noticed.” You move just enough in Aether’s grip to see Seersha swoop down. “Thank the divines Aether paid for the warranty on those pins he bought you. We were about five minutes from calling on the royal guards before he remembered the tracking feature.”

“They were small,” Aether mumbles from where he’s nestled himself in your shoulder. “I didn’t want you to lose them.” He lifts his face just enough to shoot a smug look at Seersha. “And you say warranties are useless.”

You try to take a breath, but it turns into a bit of a sob. Aether pulls back, taking your face in his hands and peering intently at you. “Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“I’m sorry,” you mumble. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Your sobs build in your throat until it feels like they’re strangling you. Aether sort of pats frantically at you, looking at Seersha in panic.

“Hey,” Seersha says, crouching next to you. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

Her voice is almost pitying, and you clench your teeth to force back the next sob. The effort makes you shudder all over, but you manage to choke off your crying altogether. “I’m fine,” you say, forcing your voice to be steady. “I’m okay. I just- really freaked me out for a minute there." You scrub hurriedly at your face. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to get lost, it just happened and then I panicked, and I’m sorry-” You can tell that you’re starting to ramp into panic again, so you click your jaw shut and press your lips together.

Aether and Seersha exchange looks so fast that you can’t get a read on what they’re thinking. “It’s okay,” Seersha says. She takes hold of your upper arm and gives it a little tug. “Can you stand?"

Your knees feel a little weak, but you can get up easily enough with her help. Aether stands close on your other side, his hands hovering like he’s ready to catch you at any moment. “Let’s get you home.”

“W-wait.” That sort of nebulous panic builds in the back of your throat like bile. “We’re going out, I thought-”

Seersha looks at you like you started speaking ancient Greek. “You’re covered in dirt and you look like you’re going to pass out. We’re not dragging you to a restaurant.”

“But you wanted to go,” you say. “Aether said you would enjoy it.”            “We can go another time,” Seersha says. Her voice has that slightly exaggerated patience you associate with a parent trying to calm their wailing child. A swarm of humiliation crawls over your skin. Is that how they think of you? Aether’s slightly pitying glance doesn’t dissuade that notion. They’ve been doing this the entire time, haven’t they? They’ve had to treat you like a child, put you down for naps, manage your ignorance, and protect you.

God, you’re an idiot. Why would they be romantically interested in you? There’s no reason to be. At best, you’re a hinderance to them. At worst… they think of you like some annoying child they need to take care of.

Your chest aches at that realization. Tears swell in your eyes and throat until your head hurts, but you don’t cry. It feels like it would take more energy to cry than you feel like you have.

Seersha and Aether help you back to your house. You try not to lean on them too much, though you keep stumbling. Every inch of your body feels weighted.

Once you’re back home, you carefully slip off the cloak and fold it on your bed. Your fingers trace over the pins Aether got you. They’re still beautiful. But they make your chest hurt now. You place the cloak under some of your other clothes.

“Are you all right?” Aether’s voice comes from behind you. He’s hovering in the doorway, Seersha a few feet away, and trying to look busy by fiddling with her feathers.

“Yes.” Your voice comes out crackling and shaky. Aether looks alarmed, and Seersha drops the pretense of preening in favor of staring at you. “Uh. I’m not hurt. Just tired. I’ll just, uh. Get ready for bed.”

You move toward the bathroom and Aether gives a slightly panicked, “Wait!” He glances at Seersha for help, then looks hurriedly back at you. “Um. Uh. You, uh. Do you need… help?” He blanches as soon as the words leave his mouth. Seersha stares at him. “I mean…”

“I don’t need help getting changed,” you say. “Thanks, though. I guess.”

As soon as you enter the bathroom, you hear Seersha’s voice. The words are indistinguishable, but you get the sense she’s scolding Aether. After a few moments, they quiet down again. You can still hear the murmur of voices, but you can’t even hope to make out any words.

You sit on the floor for a while. Long enough that Seersha and Aether stop talking. You could move. But you just feel tired. You’ve been an idiot. They’ve been humoring you. Obviously. They’ve been patient and kind, but you’ve just been fooling yourself if you think they actually like you.

That stinging feeling comes back into your eyes, but you can’t cry. The tears won’t come. Numbly, you change into your nightclothes. What do you do now? Stay with them? The idea hurts, but you can’t think of anything else you can do. But the idea of them pitying you… it makes your skin crawl to think about dealing with that every day.

When you emerge from the bathroom, Seersha and Aether both look at you. “Hey,” Aether says a little awkwardly. “Uh. Went okay?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I’m going to sleep.”

Seersha watches you as you get into bed. “Did something happen when you got lost?”

“Aside from getting lost? No.” You roll over, deliberately putting your back toward them.

“But you’re upset,” Aether says.

“I said that I’m fine.”

“Oh, bullshit,” Seersha says. That surprises you enough that you roll back over. She’s moved closer to you, arms folded over her chest and wings fluffed with agitation. “Something’s bothering you.”

“It’s okay if you’re upset,” Aether says. “We were upset too. But can you just talk to us? You’re acting… strange.”

You rub your forehead. “It was just- tiring. I’m tired, okay?” Your voice catches, embarrassingly, and you turn your head away from them. If they push you on this, you’re going to cry. You can feel the shuddering in your chest and the involuntary downward pull of your lips. If you cry, they’re never going to let it go.

The bed sinks at one end and you look up to see Aether sitting next to you. His hand rests just inches away from your leg. “It’s okay.” His voice is soft, his expression hesitant but gentle. “You’re safe now.” His own expression twitches, catches like he’s struggling not to cry. “I’m sorry. I know you’re mad, but we can talk about it, right?”

His apologizing blindsides you. You glance over at Seersha, but she’s staring at the floor, shamefaced. “Wh- you’re- why are you apologizing?”

“I should have been paying more attention,” Aether says. He swallows. “I didn’t even notice when you get separated and you should be mad at me, I deserve it-

“Aether,” Seersha says. “It wasn’t your fault.” She settles on the bed on your other side. “I should have been paying more attention. My job is to protect people and I wasn’t doing my job.”

“It’s not your job to take care of me!” you protest. “I was being stupid, it was my fault and I should have been paying better attention and I’m sorry, I keep making your take care of me and I know I’m annoying and I keep ruining things for you and I’m sorry!”

At some point, tears started falling. You scrub at your face, trying to calm your stuttering breathing. “Sorry, I’m sorry, I know I’m screwing this up, you can go, it’s okay, I’m so sorry-”

“Shhhh.” Aether pulls you against his chest, rocking slowly back and forth. “Shhhh, shhh. It’s okay.” He presses his cheek to the top of your head and rubs a hand up and down along your back. He smells sort of salty and you can feel the soft, minute details of his body. “It’s not your fault. You don’t need to apologize.”

You’re not wailing, but you’re barely preventing yourself from doing so. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-”

“Breathe,” Aether says. “Just breathe slowly. Slowly. You got it.” Seersha presses closer to your other side, forming a sort of warm cocoon around you. You hide your face in Aether’s chest, burrowing away from the world. He pats your back and murmurs soothingly to you.

Eventually, you pull your face out of his chest. It’s pretty wet and a little sticky, which is embarrassing, but Aether seems unconcerned. He cups your cheek with his hand, thumb tracing your cheekbone. “Do you feel a little calmer now?”

You nod, scrubbing at your face with your wrist. “I’m sorr-”

“Enough,” Seersha says. “I think you’ve apologized enough for the next several years of your life.” She smiles slightly, enough to let you know she’s not serious. “You know we’re not mad at you, right?”

You sniff again and cough to shake the gunk that’s lodged in your throat. “You should be.”

Aether clutches at you tighter. His tail loops around your waist. “Why would you say that?”

Your voice wobbles, but you force the words out. “I fucking ruined your night! I got completely lost, I made you come looking for me, then you had to come home-”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Seersha says. Her gaze is steady, stern, like she’s trying to impress this upon you. “It was an accident. We should have been paying attention to you, too.”

“I don’t want you to have to pay attention to me! I feel like you guys have just been taking care of me this whole time. Even earlier, when I freaked out, you had to take a break just to take care of me. I should be able to handle this.”

There’s a pause. You sneak a look up at their faces. Seersha looks sad, but Aether looks almost stricken.

“That’s not- you’re- that’s not even-” He looks between you and Seersha, sputtering helplessly. "That isn't- why would you think-” He gives a convulsive swallow and lifts your face so you’re looking into his eyes. “You know we’re not mad at you, right? We don’t think you did anything wrong. We care about you.”

“Aether’s right,” Seersha says before you can respond. “We’re not upset with you. We were worried, but we don’t blame you for any of that.”

“But you should! I know it’s frustrating to deal with me, I know it is, and I know you didn’t want to bring me along in the first place. I’m just in the way. I just want to fix this so I can actually… I don’t know, be useful. Help out.” You rub at your face again, smearing away the few tears that spring up again.

“It wasn’t that we didn’t want to bring you along,” Seersha says. “We were worried about your health. I mean, you’ve actually been doing better than I expected.”

Aether smushes you against his chest. It feels a little like he’s attempting to merge your body with his. “See? You’re doing well.”

You sniff. It’s a little hard to breathe when you’re smushed into Aether like this, but it’s also pretty nice. Aether strokes the back of your head. Vaguely, you can hear Seersha shuffling behind you. A moment later, you feel feathers tickle against your back. Shuffling your head a little sideways, you see that she’s leaning against Aether, her wings extended to wrap both of you in them.

There’s an aching in your chest, but a reliving one. Like ripping off a bandage. Inside you, there’s still something raw and stinging, not fully healed, but exposed and ready to be treated. You curl further into Aether’s arms. It’s cozy there, and Seersha’s wings rest protectively over your back. It’s warm. Safe. After the terror earlier in the night, it’s a welcome relief.

Aether’s grip loosens. “Are you feeling better?”

“I think so.” You lift your head. “I do still feel bad about the night.”

“If Seersha started throwing up because she ate pufferfish, would you blame her for ruining your night?” Aether says, petting your head again. “No, right?”

“That was once,” Seersha huffed. “But it’s a good point. Anyway, it’s not like this is solely your fault. I think if we’re assigning blame, there is plenty to go around. We should have been paying more attention to you.”

“You don’t have to,” you mumble.

“No,” Seersha agreed. “But it’ll make you feel better. So, we want to.” Aether nods with such vigor that you’re a little worried about his neck.

You struggle with words for a moment before finally settling on, “Thank you.” There’s a part of you that wants to argue, to protest that they shouldn’t feel this way. But you can push it away. Instead, you collapse back onto your pillow.

Aether slumps over next to you, his tail lying across your body. You glance at him. “Uh. You’re not going to go to bed?”

“I’m staying here,” he says. He snuggles flush against you and sighs happily. “You need hugs.”

Before you can say anything, Aether’s eyes pop open and he turns his head. “Seeeeersha!” he calls. “I can hear your hesitation. Come over here.”

There’s a huff and the bed bounces a little as Sersha crawls over to your other side. Her wing extends over your back, feathers tickling a little.

Your eyes drift shut to the feeling of two warm bodies pressed against yours.

When you wake, Aether is still wrapped around you, in nearly the exact same position he’d been in when you fell asleep. Seersha is in the bathroom, if the running water is any indication. You sit up a little, as much as you can with Aether hanging off you, and groan. Sprinting through the city must have been a little too much for you.

“G’morning,” Aether mumbles into your spine. You jump a little- his breath is warm against your back.

“Morning,” you say. “Are you going to let go?”

“Hmmmm.” Aether stretches and sighs. “Eventually. Not now.”

“I have to pee,” you try.

“Seersha’s in the bathroom,” he mumbles. “You can’t go in there anyway.” You roll your eyes and move to get up anyway.

It takes some effort to wriggle over to the edge of the bed and stand. The instant you do, your legs burn in protest. Aether finally sits up, taking some of his weight off you. “Don’t we have to get up soon anyway?” you ask.

“Day off,” Aether sighs.

“Wh- because of last night?” you ask.

“No.” Aether scrubs at his eyes and stretches again. “It’s… a sort of governmental thing? They’re conferencing internally, so we don’t need to go back until tomorrow.”

“Oh.” You sit back down on the bed. Aether takes the opportunity to scramble into your lap. “You’re cuddly today,” you note. He nods absently and pushes his face into your stomach.

Seersha emerges from the bathroom, wings fluffy with mostly-dried water. Her eyes fall on you, with Aether still lying across you, and you feel a sudden urge to shove him to one side. That flush of shame, the feeling that you’re intruding upon them, rushes over your whole body.

And then Seersha gives a fond smile. “Good luck getting out of bed this morning. He’s clingy.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Aether says, still pressed as close to you as he can get. You squirm as the motion tickles your stomach.

“If he doesn’t want to get up, run your finger along his gills. He’ll bolt,” Seersha says. Aether flinches before you can get your hand within an inch of him.

“You’re just jealous,” he huffs, sitting up and wrapping his arms around you. Seersha arches an eyebrow.

“Jealous?”

“You want to cuddle too, don’t you?” You can only see his face out of the corner of your eye, but what you can make out looks exceedingly smug.

Seersha looks at him flatly for about five seconds, then marches over and jabs her fingers toward his gills. Aether shrieks like a seagull and flinches back so hard to ends up on the floor. By the time he’s sitting back up, Seersha is next to you, wings and arms engulfing your body.

“Hey!” Aether protests. Seersha grins.

“Jealous?”

Aether responds by lunging at you and pressing his whole body against your side like a friendly cat. His chest is quite close to your head. In fact, his weight on you is actually pushing you into Seersha’s chest.

You’re going to die squished between them. For the first time in a while, you wonder if you did actually die in the nuclear wasteland and woke up in some strange version of heaven.

“You’ve gone a bit limp.” Seersha puts her face close to yours. Everything seems very hot. A bead of sweat rolls down your back. Are you having a heart attack? Your chest feels tight. “Everything all right?”

She’s so close. You move to back up a little, but Aether is literally right up against you, blocking off any exit. He sighs, his breath tickling slightly at your ear.

“Back up a bit, Seersha, before our human faints,” Aether says. Seersha pulls back and Aether leans you away from him, giving you some more breathing room.

“Sorry for teasing,” she says, her wings fluttering in a small shrug. “I just wanted to confirm a theory.”

“A theory?” Your voice does a funny wavering thing. You clear your throat.

“How long have you been crushing on us?” Seersha asks, jerking her chin to indicate Aether.

You freeze. There’s a plunging feeling in your stomach, like you’ve just dropped off a building. She knows? Actually, they both must, since Aether’s not surprised at all by her revelation. How long has she..?

“Not long. I had a suspicion for a while, but I didn’t think much about it until Aether brought it up last night,” Seersha says, and you realize you mumbled that last bit out loud.

“Don’t look so panicked,” Aether says. He gives your shoulder a squeeze and you realize that you’ve tightened your muscles to much that they’re trembling. “We like you, too!”

For a split second, it feels like the floor dropped out of the world. Your stomach does a weird swoop and your mouth opens and closes a few times. “Uh- Y-you what?”

“It’s not that surprising, is it?” Aether asks. He nestles against you, giving you a big, doe-eyed look.

“Wh- yes, of course it is! I’m not- I’m, like, messed up and broken and I keep making trouble for you-”

Seersha puts a hand over your mouth and it takes effort to stop yourself from biting her. Aether sort of pats frantically at you, a bit clumsy, but endearing nonetheless. “No, no! That’s not true at all! You have no idea how impressive you are, do you?”

That surprises you enough to stop squirming against Seersha. After a moment, she drops her hand, allowing you to say, “Impressive? What are you talking about?”

“You literally survived an apocalypse,” Seersha says. “That’s impressive.”

“W-well. I just stumbled across some magical phenomena that got me here, I was going to die eventually.”

“You survived for weeks in a desolate wasteland,” Aether says. “That’s still impressive.”

You shrug. “It didn’t feel impressive while it was happening. It was just… the only thing I could do.”

“That you were able to do that is impressive,” Seersha said. “After that- I mean I think it’s impressive that you’re even as okay as you are right now.” Aether nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall off.

“I’m not exactly impressive now,” you say. Aether gives a long, drawn-out groan and flops against you.

“No, right now, you’re frustrating.” You give him a little shove and he shoves back.

“It’s not necessary to be impressive.” Seersha tucks her wing around you and Aether. “Do we impress you?”

“Yes! You can fly and you’re basically a fucking prince!” you say, gesturing to Seersha and Aether in turn. “You’re kind of incredible!”

“A lot of people can fly,” Seersha murmurs.

“And prince is… a very fancy title for what I am,” Aether says. “You’re a human, which I’ve never even heard of before, you’ve got crazy endurance, you survived an apocalypse and came here full of some crazy poison and you lived and that’s really cool!”

“It sounds a lot more impressive when you put it like that,” you mumble. Seersha laughs.

“Perhaps everyone is more impressive to other people,” she says. “Maybe we’re all super impressive and super unimpressive at the same time. It doesn’t matter. We love you, and you love us. We should all be together.”

“It sounds really simple when you put it like that,” you say.

“It is simple,” Aether says. “Trust us. This is a lot less scary than an apocalypse, isn’t it?”

It really should be, but your heart is pounding anyway. Tentatively, you move your hands until you’re clutching theirs.

“I do trust you,” you say.

Aether promptly attempts to kiss you with such force that your heads crack together. Seersha has to carefully wrangle you apart.

“Are you feeling better?” she asks you. You nod, a little sheepish. “Good. Now. It’s morning. I think we should go out and get something to celebrate.”

“Yes!” Aether agrees. “Are you okay with that?”

His hand settles on your shoulder, thumb tracing the skin around the crook of your neck. The touch is unexpectedly tender and your chest swells like a balloon. A lump wells into your throat. “Yes?”

“Are you really?” Seersha presses, brows creasing. You give a wobbly smile.

“Yes. Sorry. Just… happy.” You sniff. “Um. Might need a little bit more time to get ready.”

Aether laughs a little. “We can wait.” His expression grows sly. “Or help-”

Seersha gently elbows him. “We’ll be right outside.”

They vanish and you take a moment to compose yourself. It feels like a dream. It feels almost too good to be a dream. Not for the first time, you wonder if you really did die and this is heaven, or some kind of strange hallucination.

The bedsheets cling to your legs a little as you stand. Outside, you can hear Seersha and Aether talking softly. Beyond the window, you can hear the sounds of the city. A warm breeze drifts through the room. It has that warm tinge you associate with the first days of spring.

Newness. Beginnings. The start of something good.

Maybe it really is okay to accept that part of your life is over. Maybe things really can be good. Maybe something this good can actually be real.