#novissa

Because Marissa Meyer already has both a lesbian couple and a gay couple (The deuteragonist’s adopted dads! And they’re good characters! And they’re even relevant to the plot!), it isn’t too far-fetched to believe some of this coding might have actually been intentional.

Most of Nova’s bi moments relate to Narcissa Cronin, the Librarian’s granddaughter—WHO, allow me to add, ends up in an implied canon wlw relationship with Danna in the epilogue! I like the endgame ships so this isn’t a pro-Nova-x-Narcissa post in particular, but feel free to use this info for your own headcanons!

Now I like actual to see actual examples I can draw my own conclusions from, so I went through the whole book and took poorly lit pictures of all the scenes I felt Nova’s bi was showing. You’re welcome. 😉 I put the page numbers and my own commentary below their respective text.

Page 90-91. “Had always liked her,” “tender feelings” that are “not reciprocated.” These words have strong romantic connotations. This was where I initially went “wait, what?”

Page 156. The wording seems a little fruity idk. It isn’t much but if this were a straight pair I would definitely think there was some attraction there so.

Page 245. She’s really dwelling on Narcissa and how she looks/feels.

Page 297. Need I elaborate? Irrational emotional attachment coming from our mistrustful little spy. And unless she hasn’t figured out her queer side yet, she definitely does know why.

Page 377. Ik this one is a bit of a stretch but I‘m already taking pics so why not. If the lighting is dim, Nova was probably already looking at Narcissa to notice her going pale. She could just as easily be looking at Millie or anyone else she knew.

Page 378. Why was she looking at Narcissa here?

Page 405. This one definitely comes off as a bit queer. “Protective,” Nova being glad Narcissa doesn’t hate her. After this scene there aren’t really any more, mainly because Adrian shows up and the Danna/Narcissa ship gets its first moments.

Narcissa was playing music through the speakers, volume turned down to a background hum.  She was curled into a ball on the couch, rereading a book, occasionally pausing to scribble a note in the margins.  Nova couldn’t help but continue to glance over every few minutes, remind herself that Narcissa existed, that Narcissa was here, next to her, in her life.  

Nova was trying to do a crossword, most of the clues already completed, only the hardest ones left.  (Which was unfortunate, because she needed to finish soon, otherwise Adrian might finally beat her in their ongoing competition, and she couldn’t have that)  

“Nova,” Narcissa said softly.  She stood up, crossing the room, walking towards Nova.  

“Hm?”  Nova set down the crossword.  

“Dance with me?”  Narcissa extended her hand, half hidden in the enormous sweater she insisted on wearing.  Heat Waves, by Glass Animals had just come on.  

Nova giggled slightly.  (If Oscar ever found out Nova had giggled, she might actually die.)  “Dance?   My love, I’m many things, but a dancer is not one of them.”  

Narcissa pulled Nova to her feet, and turned the speaker's volume up.  “You have to.  It’s the rules. This is my favorite song.”  

“What rules?”  Nova allowed Narcissa to pull her close, and sway in a circle around the small room.  

Narcissa rolled her eyes.  “You know.  The ones that we made when we first started dating.”

“Funny, I don’t seem to remember this.”

“It definitely happened.  You just forgot.”  

“Right.”  Nova rolled her eyes, but gave up resisting, and let Narcissa guide her across the floor.  “Remind me, what was the rule?”  

“Whenever your girlfriend's favorite song comes on, you have to dance with her as long as she wants.”  Narcissa grinned, her eyes lighting up.  

“You are ridiculous.”

“And you are a terrible dancer.”  

“I don’t dance!  You know that!”  Nova stuck her tongue out at Narcissa.  

“That’s not what I meant. You’re a fine dancer, you’re just being too cautious.  Come on.  This isn’t a slow dance, we’re supposed to be dancing, not swaying awkwardly.  This isn’t a middle school dance.”  

Nova scoffed.  “Fine.  You lead.”

Narcissa grinned.  “Happily.”  She brought her hands to Nova’s waist, and started to step forwards, then backwards, to the side, and then back.  (Nova copied, without the elegance Narcissa had.)  

“Is this a waltz?”

“I think so?” Narcissa shrugged.  “When I was little, I watched videos of people dancing, and copied the movements, but never learned the names of the dances.”

“I remember that!  I walked in on you practicing in the back of the library, when we were younger. You were so embarrassed.”

“Was not!”  (But her face was flushed a brilliant red, so maybe Nova was right)

“Sure, love.  And I don't think this song is really a typical waltz.”  

Narcissa hummed.  “Any song is a waltzy song if you try hard enough.”  (It was most decidedly not a waltzy song)

They continued, exchanging light hearted bickers, and slowly, Nova felt her feet move to the music, and lost herself to the music.  

But all things end.

“The song’s over,” Nova whispered.  “You said the rule was just your favorite song.”  

“Just one more,” Narcissa pleaded.  (Nova was all too easily convinced.)

---

Nova couldn’t tell how long they spent dancing.  Everything faded into each other, and it was just her and Narcissa.  Narcissa and her.  

They went from doing a waltz, to flailing their arms around wildly, to some dance Narcissa insisted she knew (she didn’t, it was a mess).  One song, they just took turns spinning each other in circles, their hair flying out around their head like halos.  

Now, they stood, swaying slightly, holding each other close,  heads buried in the others shoulder.  

The music had faded away, completely irrelevant.  (The only thing that mattered was them.)

“I thought you said we weren’t allowed to sway awkwardly,” Nova whispered, not daring to raise her voice any higher.  

“Shh,” Narcissa murmured.  “Don’t ruin the moment.”  Her arms were warm and soft and heavy on Nova, wrapping her up, keeping her safe.  

Nova smiled.  (She hoped Narcissa could feel it through the layers of fabric separating them.)  

“I love you,” Nova whispered.  She hadn’t said it before.  Never knew how to put it into words, never knew how to express the immense mountain of emotion trapped inside her.  But she understood it now.  She didn’t need to prove it, she didn’t need to show just how enormous it all really was.

Narcissa already knew.  

Sometimes you just needed to say those short three words, and understand that the other person knew just how much they meant.  

How could Nova explain it?  She loved Narcissa in a way that was so uniquely hers, Narcissa wouldn’t comprehend it.  (Like how Nova wouldn’t be able to comprehend Narcissa’s love for her)  They’d just be speaking different languages to each other.  

But they shared three words.  Three words that bridged the gap, three words that made all the difference. 

Nova, fifteen and eager to help, immediately responded yes and grabbed her flimsy coat. She had outgrown being cold long ago. Now she skipped straight to numb. They had never had enough money to go buy a real coat anyway. 

The streets of Gatlon had a new air about them. There were decorations, for Christmas she assumed, and everyone seemed happy. Why were they all out and around? Didn’t these people have to train? It was so easy for her to see why everyone was so incompetent. The Renegades only existed because people were too lazy to help themselves, and to be honest, the Renegades were a dictatorship. They made idiotic rules that they just expected everyone to follow. No one would ever even bother to help themselves because they had the Renegades. What would happen to the poor souls of Gatlon when the Renegades didn’t come? She knew there would be a day. It had happened to her, and she was sure it had happened to others. 

If she were to compare the cheer from the Cloven Cross Library to the cheer of the streets of Gatlon, the competition would be non-existent. There was a huge wreath on the door, and the small pine trees that were in front of the Library had been decorated more than Nova thought the little trees could handle. The white Christmas lights were in just enough areas to really make the aesthetic, but they didn’t overdo it. The whole area just had a cozy feeling that living in the subway tunnels had always lacked. Frankly, it seemed even more inviting than the cathedral had been. Then again, maybe that wasn’t saying much. 

The only thing that didn’t seem to be inviting was the large closed sign that hung over the antique door. 

There was absolutely no way that she could go back to Ingrid without those bombshells, and there had to be other alternatives. If Leroy were here, he could easily concoct a serum that would break the lock, but she was by herself. Normally, she carried a bobby pin on hand, which was very helpful for picking locks, but she had forgotten one in her haste. Her only hope was that maybe The Librarian had left one of his backdoors open before leaving for Christmas. Though it was very unlikely, she went to check the front door too. 

One of the things she had always admired about the Cloven Cross Library were the small windows that surrounded the door in the shape of an arch. From the inside, you could see the dangerous weather and know you were safe. From the outside, you could see friends reading, couples cuddling, and the fire roaring. 

Today, as she peered through, only one figure was pleasant from her cozy fantasy. Narcissa Cronin, the librarian’s granddaughter. She was a sweet-looking girl who was probably a year older than Nova herself. Her speckled, gray eyes were perfectly framed by her flaming red hair that shone under the light of the fire. Her lips looked effortlessly soft unlike Nova’s which were always chapped.

Even though she had initially had plans to try the back doors, Nova suddenly felt compelled to talk to Narcissa. She was curled up reading a book with a mug in her hand and Nova didn’t think she had ever seen anyone look prettier. Slowly, Nova raised her hand to the door and knocked. 

Narcissa looked up and started to shake her head no, but after a moment, Nova could see the realization in her eyes that Narcissa recognized her. She could see the small smile in Narcissa’s eye, the kind of thing that seemed like a dream and a perfect reality all at once. Or maybe she was just imagining it. 

As Narcissa walked to the door, Nova felt her breath hitch and for a moment, she couldn’t breathe. Narcissa started to get closer and she tried to compose herself. She was here for bombshells, not to look at pretty girls. 

“Hey, Nova,” Narcissa opened the door to the library and gestured for her to come inside. 

“Ingrid needed a few bombshells,” Nova replied lamely, unable to fully comprehend everything happening around her. 

“No-can-do,” Narcissa grinned, “Grandpa and I closed the library and the side-hustle yesterday.”

“Christmas?” Nova responded. Why would anyone close a shop for Christmas? To her, it was simply an overly-glorified day of the year and nothing else. 

“Yeah, Christmas.”

Nova watched as a look of something near pity spread onto Narcissa’s face. At first, she was a little offended. She didn’t need anyone to pity her or have feelings for her in general. It was just the Anarchists vs. Renegades and nothing more. Then, she realized Narcissa cared, something she had never felt before either. Sure, the Anarchists cared for her, but not in a way like this. The look on Narcissa’s face was so purely genuine that it nearly made her heart melt. 

Nearly.

“Well,” Narcissa spoke slowly and Nova turned her attention over, wanting to hear her voice, “I was going to do some fun Christmas-themed things before I meet up with Grandpa for Christmas Eve Dinner. Do you want to come?” 

It sounded fun. Fun. It was something the Anarchists would never approve of, but for once, just once in her life, she wanted to do something fun. Something that would piss them off. Something that would show them they didn’t own her, and that she could do anything and everything she pleased. 

“Sure,” she said firmly, though she could feel her face heating up. She had a feeling that this could be one of her best Christmases yet. 

***

Narcissa had taken her to a grimy mall on the South Side of Gatlon. The neighborhoods around here were mostly abandoned, and she felt the Anarchists would fit right in. 

The two of them had been in comfortable silence for a while when Narcissa spoke up. “So all I really came here for was a fluffy blanket, but if you want, we can go to some more stores. Do you have a favorite?”

Nova shook her head no. The only places she had ever really liked to go were hardware stores, and that was strictly for tools. She had never been allowed to buy real clothes of her own, mainly because the Anarchists had never had any real money. They had only ever had just enough to buy basic necessities like food or an occasional outfit. Things like fluffy blankets had always been out of the question, considering they could barely supply themselves with basic needs. 

“Wait!” Narcissa blurted out, suddenly struck with a new idea, “Not to be rude, but this mall sucks. Let’s go to my favorite 24/7 diner and get funnel cakes with hot cocoa or maybe egg nog. I mean, if you’ve never had either before hot chocolate is definitely the way to go. It’s like warm chocolate with whipped cream, and you can get it with peppermint if you like that.” She sounded so excited, and it warmed Nova’s heart. For the first time in fifteen years, she felt good enough to let her guard down. Even with Mama, Papa, and Evie, things had never been that way. She had always fought for survival. 

“That sounds really fun,” Nova felt herself blushing. Slowly but surely, her walls were crumpling and she knew the only reason for that was this girl, Narcissa Cronin. 

***

Walking into the diner, Nova’s senses were flooded with all different sensations. By a normal person’s terms, it might have been considered crappy, fast food. But this was the first real restaurant she had ever gone to and suddenly, she was starving. She hadn’t eaten in over twenty-four hours and she hadn’t intended to eat again until tomorrow. Narcissa walked over to a booth that was relatively far away from where they were standing, so Nova assumed it was a favorite of hers. She gestured for Nova to take a seat, so she slipped in, feeling the comfort and somehow homey feeling of the diner. 

She had expected Narcissa to slide in on the other side of the booth, but surprisingly, she slid in right next to her. Instantly, their shoulders brushed and they were close. Very close. She had never been this close to anyone before, especially people she wasn’t related to. She could practically feel the heat radiating from Narcissa’s body, and she had the urge to move closer. 

“Hey, Narcissa!” An excited waitress approached their table. In a way, the women reminded her of Ingrid, with eyes that could pierce her soul, but the energy was very different. She had an excited air about her, like she wanted everyone to be happy. To Nova, she looked like a huge Renegades supporter. 

“What can I get for you two today? Our Christmas-related specials are on that side menu. Should I go ahead and mark you two down for some of our special hot cocoa? You look pretty chilly.” 

She went to grab the small menu sitting near the wall of their tight booth, but Narcissa was too fast. 

“We’ll have two cinnamon funnel cakes and two hot cocoas with extra whipped cream and add some chocolate drizzle on hers,” Narcissa gestured over to Nova. She nodded in return to Narcissa, seeing that she was doing all the talking. Plus, being around Narcissa had taken away most of her ability to think. All of her thoughts had been mushed, and she hadn’t even taken her normal precautions like counting possible exits or looking for security cameras. 

“Oh wait!” Narcissa added before the waitress left, “Can we get it to go? I want to show Nova town square.” By the way she was grinning, Nova knew that she was in for a treat. 

***

Boy, had she been right. Town square was sparkling. There was a huge Christmas tree, decorated with more types of ornaments than she could ever imagine. The hot cocoa in her hands warmed her whole body, practically making up for the flimsy coat. And having Narcissa near her was the icing on top of the cake. She felt giddy, something that she had never experienced. Narcissa Cronin was the best thing that had ever happened to her. 

“So, what do you think?” Narcissa grinned, curious. 

“This is definitely the prettiest I’ve ever seen it. I don’t really get to come out often, and when I do, it’s with the Anarchists. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. I mean, they’re the only family I have. But sometimes, I want to do things on my own. So thank you Narcissa. You’ve given me an experience I would have never gotten.” 

It gave her a small joy to see Narcissa start to fluster. She looked like she was about to say something, but it ended up just coming out as a small “Thanks” and then her changing the topic. 

“So, is there anything else you want to do before I have to leave? I don’t want to keep Grandpa waiting.” 

Nova racked her mind. “No, I think I’m good.”

“Well,” Narcissa took a step closer to her, “There is one thing I want to do.” 

Suddenly, her heart rate sped up, and her pulse started to flutter. She wasn’t completely oblivious. She knew Narcissa wanted to kiss her. The Anarchists would never approve, but at the same time that was exactly the reason she wanted to kiss her back. 

“I think it’s the same thing I want to do,” She replied, her breath shaking, taking a step closer to Narcissa. 

They were barely inches apart now. As she gazed into Narcissa’s gray eyes, her breath hitched, and whatever knowledge she had left was no longer functioning. All she wanted to do was kiss Narcissa Cronin, and never go back. 

Narcissa breathed slowly. “Can I kiss you?” She asked quietly, her tone sending thousands of butterflies into Nova’s stomach. 

She nodded, but didn’t give Narcissa time to respond before she kissed her. It was a soft, dreamy kiss that sent Nova breathless. Narcissa’s lips were so soft, and they tasted like the hot cocoa they had been drinking. She could briefly taste the cinnamon from their funnel cakes too, a scent that made her stomachs do flip-flops just thinking about it. 

---

Outside, everywhere was plastered with rainbows, and signs, and flags.

Rainbows gleamed in every shop window.

And Hugh Everhart, and Simon Westwoods stupid, perfect, superhero faces were everywhere.

Pride month was good, Nova actually enjoyed it. She and the Anarchists celebrated it every year.

But they didn’t celebrate by putting the face of the most famous gay couple in the city everywhere, and call it support.

Nova felt sick to her stomach. Though that may just be nerves from the anticipation of seeing Narcissa.

“Nova!”

Her heart skipped a bear, and her mouth was suddenly completely dry.

Narcissa was running towards her, a large tote bag slung over her shoulder, her red braid swinging around.

Nova forced her useless lips into a smile. “Hey Narcissa!”

The girl reached her, face red from exertion. “Give me.. Give me a sec,” she panted.

“Coffee!” Nova blurted out. Honey had said something about coffee, right?

“...coffee?” Narcissa echoed.

Nova flushed red. “Do you want to get coffee now?”

“Oh!” Narcissa nodded. “I’d love to.”

“Great.” Nova exhaled. She could do this. She had to do something about this stupid fucking crush. “I like coffee.”

Narcissa laughed slightly. “Yeah, me too. There’s a good cafe this way, if you want.”

Nova nodded, probably a bit too enthusiastically. “That sounds great.”

Narcissa led their way through Gatlon.

The warm blue eyes of Captain Chromium smiled down at her from every corner. Most were paired with tacky phrases, like, “Real heroes support LGBT rights” and “Be like the heroes protecting this city, and wear your true colors with PRIDE!”

Nova snorted.

“What?” Narcissa asked.

“It’s just..” Nova burst out laughing, and pointed at the most outrageous poster yet. Hugh Everhart stood in all his heroic glory, decked in a rainbow version of his iconic suit, his chest puffed out. We are HUGHe advocates for LGBT+ rights! read out, in bright rainbow letters underneath his feet. “Look at this shit! It’s ridiculous! And everywhere.” Nova struggled to contain her laughter. “Honestly, when I’m not too busy laughing at it all, it’s sickening.”

Narcissa’s eyes were bright wide. “What do you mean?” Her words were cautious, almost harsh. No more smiles, now her lips showed a hint of a frown.

“All this ‘Rainbow pride’, and sweet rot, Captain Chromium, and the Dread Warden are everywhere. Decked in complete rainbows no less.”

“Honestly Nova, I didn’t expect this from you.” Narcissa turned her head away, and stormed off.

Nova’s laughter died off. “Narcissa?” The red head ignored her. “Narcissa! Where are you going?” Nova sprinted towards her, and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to turn around.

“Let go of me Nova!” Narcissa wrenched her hand away.

“What did I do?” Nova demanded.

Narcissa scoffed. “What did I do? Please. Stop pretending you aren’t just another bigoted asshole.”

“Bigoted asshole? What the fuck are you talking about ‘Cissa?”

“You're just another homophobe. I thought you would have been better than that, but I guess not.”

Nova’s mouth fell open. “I’m not homophobic!”

“You were literally just making fun of pride.” Narcissa crossed her arms, and glared at Nova.

“Not of pride! I was laughing at how infuriating it is how companies are using our struggles and hardships to make money. How the fucking supercop gay powercouple are the only ones that ever get any publicity and support. I don’t see anyone else whose queer get acknowledged.”

“...our struggles?” Narcissa wasn’t glaring at Nova anymore.

Nova cursed. “This wasn’t how this was supposed to go?”

“How what was supposed to go?”

“I’m bi. I’m bi, and I really like you, and I didn’t know how to tell you, but, fuck, I just did, and crap im rambling, and I just-”

“Nova.” Narcissa smiled gently. “Shut up.”

Nova nodded, and shut her mouth tight.

“I’m sorry,” Narcissa mumbled. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. And, thinking you were homophobic. I shouldn’t have immediately thought that. It’s just… I really like you too. And I was… disappointed, I guess when I thought you were homophobic.”

Nova’s eyes widened. “You like me? You’re queer?”

“Look at me! Do I fucking look straight?” Narcissa gestured to her outfit. She wore a pair of worn overalls, and a graphic tee, an old cartoon character peeking out. Over it, she wore a paint splattered flannel. “I’m like the most stereotypical lesbian you can get!”

Nova blushed bright red. “In that case, would you want to make this a date?”

Narcissa rolled her eyes. “I suppose. But I had been planning on asking first. Just to be clear.”