AS IT JUST SO HAPPENS I’M STILL ALIVE

Getting back in the habit of writing is a hard one. I hear it’s like riding a bike, but I’m not screaming down the street with a pen and pad in my hands on my way to the grocery store so fuck you bike people!

Kidding.

Anyway, I’m trying to get used to it. At least until I work it back into my regular jams, I’ve made an alternate blog to post non-wow related writing things to get these other stories out of my head and get the practice on the road.

Feel free to read if you like, though it’ll serve more as a blank board for me to throw ideas at than an anthology of my greatest works. There won’t be a lot of common themes, but at least some of them line up!

I have one little thing up now to start me off, and should add more soon.

If you like, check it out!

https://squatchworks.tumblr.com/

WHY REY IS NOT A SKYWALKER OR A KENOBI THEORY

As most of you probably have heard by now the many crazy theories out there as to who Rey’s parents are; two of which stand out the most as likely possibilities: 1) Rey Skywalker and 2) Rey Kenobi. But just in case you don’t know what these theories are, here is a quick summary before I get into my theory:

1) The Force Is Strong In My Family - Rey is a Skywalker Bitches!

This theory suggests that, at some point between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens, Luke Skywalker met a woman and either a) fell in love with her and had a child or b) had a one night stand with her and a child was the result of him not using a damn condom. Bad Luke!

(A likely candidate for Luke’s significant other would be his childhood friend:  Camie Marstrap. Although she was dating Laze at the time, this does not mean that these two could not have hooked up later on, especially after Luke has become a hero of the New Republic. Funny enough, the actress who plays her slightly resembles Rey.)

Now this theory is supported by a great deal of evidence provided by the movie, from Rey’s not-so-coincidental location on Jakku to Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber induced Force vision. So lets take a look at each of the pieces of evidence that suggests she is a Skywalker.

The movie starts on Jakku where Poe Dameron is trying to find Luke Skywalker and he obtains a mysterious map piece from Lor San Tekka that will lead him to Luke Skywalker’s location. 

Also on Jakku is Rey, a scavanger who was abandoned by her parent(s) when she was a little child. We learn this tidbit in the Force vision later on. It shows her she was in the care of someone that Rey trusted. Any parent knows how a child will react to being handed over to a total stranger. Not only do they want the parent to come back, but they also attempt to get away from the stranger. Rey stays with the person while trying to beg her parent(s) back. There is also the fact that the hand is male and leads me to the next point:

Lor San Tekka is Rey’s caretaker. Not only did he know Luke and the Old Jedi, he also helped Luke on a regular basis in recovering Jedi lore. He would have been known to Rey and trusted by her. He is also on Jakku and she is abandoned on the same planet. Coincidence? Maybe, but not likely.

There is also the matter of Rey knowing about Luke Skywalker as a story. She had to have heard it from somewhere. Certainly she could have learned it from passing space travelers, but the most likely candidate would be Tekka and his Church of the Force. You probably ask, if Tekka told her about Luke why didn’t he say she is his daughter? Simple, the First Order is hunting Luke and you’re tasked to protect his only child whom he sent into exile to protect her from harm. You don’t go around telling her she is related to Luke. The First Order gets wind of it, captures her and coerces Luke out of hiding. Ya know? So he tells her about Luke through the Church of the Force so she knows of him, but not that he is her father.

Of course there is the issue that Rey would have remembered her father if she really is Luke’s child. But that is not always true. Rey was young enough to have forgotten the name and face of her father, especially if she has nothing to remind her of him. Childhood memories are the oldest memories you will have and they fade and become obscure the older they become. Don’t believe me? Try and remember your 1st grade teacher’s name and face. Can’t can you? Its the out of sight, out of mind phenomenon when it comes to long term memory that old. Unless you have something to remind you of the memory, you are less likely to recall it in any depth of detail. 

Moving on, we learn that Rey has this uncanny understanding of machines and is apparently a very damn good pilot. Who else do we know that have these abilities? Anakin Skywalker. From the moment we first meet him in The Phantom Menace, we discover that he has a deep understanding--an almost autistic fascination--for machinery. He is nine years old and had built a pod racer, a protocol droid, and repairs machines for a junkyard owner to resell. He is also considered by Obi-wan Kenboi, the best starfighter pilot in the Clone Wars. This talent for flying is passed on to Luke Skywalker by the way.

This is when Han Solo starts to notice Rey and starts to question who she is. 

Shortly after an old spacer by the name of Maz takes interest in her. Maz is old enough, far old enough, to have lived through the Clone Wars. In fact she even claims that she knew the Jedi. As soon as Rey comes into sight, Maz recognizes something about her and off-screen talks to Han Solo about the girl.

Rey then is called to Anakin’s lightsaber through the Force and touches the weapon. Suddenly she is flooded with past visions that start on Cloud City and ending with her abandonment on Jakku. These visions are not random, they have a chronological order to them detailing the events that led from Luke’s parentage, the destruction of his Jedi by Kylo and then Rey’s abandonment. 

Maz then tries to give the lightsaber to Rey, saying it belonged to Luke and his father before she found it, and that it was calling to Rey. Not Kylo. Not Snoke. Not some other Force-sensitive that could be in the castle, but to Rey. Rey rejects out of fear.

After the Resistance saves the gang’s bacon, Han Solo quietly talks to Leia about Rey when Leia hinted at recognizing the girl. Two strangers meet and one suddenly becomes friendly to the other after she discusses things with her husband. A real military leader would not trust Rey unless she knew who she was.

Everyone but Finn and Rey, and the audience, seems to know who Rey is. Hell even Kylo seems to know with the way he reacts to the girl every time he encounters her and questions her.

The last piece of evidence is Rey and Luke’s reactions toward each other. Rey is crying. Why would she be crying unless she had finally been told who Luke is to her by Leia or remembers him finally? Luke looks surprised and remorseful toward Rey.

Conclusion: Luke Skywalker is Rey’s father and despite all attempts to keep her safe from Kylo Ren and the First Order, she ends up involved in the Skywalker family feud with the Darkside anyway and rediscovers her heritage and father.

2) From A Certain Point of View - Rey is a Kenobi You Pathetic Lifeform!

Now this theory is a little more far-fetched and is based more on circumstantial evidence than actual, solid evidence that the Skywalker theory provides. This theory suggests that Obi-wan Kenobi is her grand-father and implies that Kenobi had sired a child with a mystery woman between Revenge of the Sith and A New Hope who later sired Rey between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens.

It is possible, but not likely, if you take into consideration the The Clone Wars cartoon series and Kenobi’s affair with Duchess Satine of Mandalore. The Duchess is the only woman whom Kenobi ever had anything close to a romantic relationship with anyone. A child between them would be of the same age as Luke Skywalker by A New Hope who then could have had Rey some time between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens.

But lets begin with what the fans of this theory believe confirms Rey as a descendant of Kenobi starting with the “obvious” connections:

Fans like to point out that Rey is the only good character with a British accent. It is this accent that theorists believe makes Rey a Kenobi because his actors were British (Ewan is actually Scottish).

Theorists also believe that because Rey can potently use Jedi Mind Trick on JB-007 (Daniel Craig), a trade-mark ability of Obi-wan Kenobi, it automatically makes her related to Kenobi. 

Rey’s sneaking around Starkiller Base is supposedly a tribute to Kenobi sneaking around the Death Star.

Kenobi’s dialogue from A New Hope being used in Rey’s vision upon touching Anakin’s lightsaber.

Kenobi having been in possession of said lightsaber for just as long as the Skywalker’s combined, which in turn gives him a link to Rey through the weapon.

And Rey’s actress stating that her loneliness is a clue as to her origins, coupled with her being abandoned on a desert planet just like Kenobi self-exiling himself on Tattooine. (This one would be the strongest evidence supporting the theory and I would more likely be convinced with).

Similar costumes between Rey and Kenobi, though with that in mind she could pretty much be related to any Jedi that survived Order 66.

Ben Solo being the only in-movie reference to Obi-wan Kenobi.

Now there are more tiny “clues” supporters of the Kenobi theory use to back up their hypothesis but they are so minute and even more circumstancial that they can go in so many directions that even Qui-Gon Jinn could be the great-grandfather of Rey!

However, there are narrative pieces of evidence that the theorists use also to support theory. Tropes, parallels, themes, and so on:

The mentor/student reversal where a Kenobi trained a Skywalker flipping to a Skywalker training a Kenobi.

Rey vs Kylo duel paralleling the Kenobi vs Skywalker duel.

Rey being the real “Chosen One” who brings Balance to the Force, something that Anakin obvious really was not and Kenobi seemed more apt at the job.

PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY!

Although the evidence dug up by the fans gives the theory some support, it is all circumstantial and wishful thinking. It would leave Luke childless and make him the better Skywalker of the family because he sticks to his training far better than his father. It also makes Rey a lot more interesting character and would generate interest for a Kenobi spin-off movie if it were true. It also changes the main story of the entire Star Wars franchise, that it is not a story about the Skywalkers but about Kenobi.

You can admit that the theory is interesting. Very interesting.

3) Your Eyes Can Deceive You, Don’t Trust Them - Rey is a Skywalker-Kenobi Trust This You Will 

But I’m not done yet, now that we have these two theories fresh in your mind lets take into consideration of the possibility that Rey is actually a Skywalker-Kenobi. Sounds even more far-fetched doesn’t it? Not really if you think about it. Taking into consideration all the evidence stated previously and add in the following:

Obi-wan Kenobi was shown to be as human as the rest of us in The Clone Wars series when Duchess Satine was reveled to be a romantic love interest for him. Although he had chosen to remain with the Jedi Order instead of leaving to be with Satine, his feelings for her had not gone away. He later rediscovers his love for Satine during the war on a diplomatic mission to Mandalore with Anakin Skywalker, and goes so far as faking his own death to defy the Council so he can help her episodes later. 

As we know for narrative sake, not every single moment is portrayed in a story either on paper or film simply because most of the details are mundane and unnecessary. This leaves a lot of time in between scenes that characters could do something and allows plenty of room for authors to come back later and add in a new scene/detail that they later thought of later on. 

Duchess Satine is the only canonically accepted character that Kenobi has a relationship with. A child between them would have been born during the Clone Wars some time before Satine’s death. That child would be at the most two years older than Luke Skywalker.

Some time between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens Luke and Kenobi’s daughter would have met and either a) became romantically involved or b) had a one night stand and Rey is the result of that union.

Luke is given custody or asked to train her when Rey exhibits Force-sensitivity.

The Clone Wars and Rebels are suppose to eventually be linked to The Force Awakens somehow.

This theory is out there, I know, but it would not be above JJ Abrams to create such a left-field plot twist that makes both theories wrong and true. The evidence provided by the movie strongly supports Rey Skywalker, while lesser circumstantial evidence supports Rey Kenobi and makes the Rey Skywalker theory a red herring (something not beyond JJ Abrams capabilities). 

This theory makes them both true and both red herrings at the same time and would really bring balance to the Force by uniting the two strongest families together. Rey would possess the Force strength of Skywalker and the wisdom and peace of Kenobi.