Why I say I love you...
Someone mentioned to me recently that I tell them I love them and they weren't sure what to say back. I thought about it and realized that I say this to quite a few people and I want to try to make sure no one else is stuck like that. When I say I love you it means that you are special to me. I see the sparkle in your soul, some good and some bad (I can't really love someone until I see that they are flawed and therefore human and not their social mask). When I love you, you have become important to me and your presence enriches my life, makes me a better person and often makes me happier. Now, my saying I love you to someone simply means that I want them to know they are loved. I have had times in my life where I didn't know if I was going to get to see tomorrow, lost friends that I had no idea I wasn't going to get to see again. And each time the thoughts of "did I tell everyone I loved them?" "do they know they really made a difference in my life?" "did they know I cared for them?" went through me. Some years ago I decided that I don't ever want to have those regrets, and that I would try to make it a part of me to tell those I care about that I love them. So this is what it is. If I love you, I tell you. Should anything happen, it's been said, and the person will know that I have seen and valued their contribution to my life. That it was better just having them in it, that they matter to me. I know everyone's definition of love is different, and that's okay. You don't need to say it back, and I'd actually prefer you didn't unless you want to on your own and feel it, not because you feel obligated just because I said it. You've already given me the "return" I need. You're hearing it because you are someone who is wonderful to me. Having you in my life and having you know you are valued by me is all the return I could ever want. You don't need to say it back, I won't get upset, I won't be wondering what's wrong, I probably won't even really notice. Everyone has their own way of doing things, and this is just mine. It's simply an expression of my own thoughts and feelings, and there's no obligation of anything in return.
