#notdating

As I shut the door I put my key in to lock it. Jingling the keys around since my body and my brain are not quite as one.

I decided to leave my dog in the room so he could know I was out for the hunt. I took a deep breathe , deciding to leave the rest of the night at the door.

That's when I turned to head out. Breathing in the crisp , humid air, with hints of cigar. 

I was too shy , so I walked right past the incognito flame. Then took 3 steps back, turned my body , while working up some courage to say.  “You must be the guy from new York he was telling me about.” 

Talking about my landlord, since he has a way of telling me everyones business.

his answer was straight to the point “yeah.”

I think I worked up too much courage at this point , because I felt I was rambling nonsense. seems like everything just went black, with words shooting out of my mouth into thin air. But maybe Im just explaining to you what anxiety feels like. 

Anyway. I reply with, “so you’re  the one who got my room. They moved me here .” as  i pointed from his place to mine, right diagonal all a whole 10 feet apart from each other .

We began to chat for a brief but, seemly long while .I guess time seems to fade when you're  thinking of who you are, who they are, and who you are willing to be.

We talked about things, some things one might take as personal, like my cop run in, accompanied by reasons why I despise the system. We communicate for a while, with our words, our eyes, and most importantly our smiles.

Telling me what part of New York he's from, and I tell him which part of New York I frequently reside.

I ask him about work. He tells me he's a teacher, I guess that's something we have in common. But failed to notice. 

I go on with a simple, it was nice to meet you, and wait for a moment so he can tell me his name. Then I reply with mine, as I say bye walking backwards, turn and exit the house.

Going for my walk I start conversing with myself about what went wrong.  Why did you say that, what were you thinking! followed by well if he doesn't like me then fuck it, his loss.

Im walking down the street talking to my self, and making a lot of faces I’m sure.

approaching the local market since I haven't been there for a few days, everyone says hello and asks about me.

I find some dog food, some water, and a bunch of other snacks since I have such the sweet spot for chocolate goodness.

I check out , debit... put my things into a bag ,and walk back to my so called home.

The night is old . My dog is excitedly waiting for me inside, I just can't get in fast enough.shit! I dropped the keys, I pick them up looking left, then right.  Unlock the door with a warm welcoming from my dog happy to see me. Like I just got back from battle.

I feed him ,and apologize to him for being a bad mom. I think he knows what I mean. I peek out the window, but the air is still.

I can see his door from mine, and he can see me from his. Although we are not looking at each other.

His blinds are closed, and I am sure he is not one to be bothered.

after all he's just my neighbor.