Hey, everyone. Just leaving this note here so nobody knows what happened to me. I want to say before anything else that this is NOT a suicide note.
I'm gone. Leaving the account up for people who wanna still see what I've posted. Same with my twitter of the same name. Most of my resources are over there.
The harassment and lies have gotten to be too much. It's gotten to a point where there are *conspiracy theories* about me, I'm seeing my username mentioned on sites like reddit and in youtube comment threads, etc., and the "receipts" people have are me reacting to and/or defending my friends from abuse, and in some cases cropped and edited screenshots (only one person has admitted to doing this, but there have been several cases).
I'm getting called slurs and suicide-baited almost daily. People are making alternate accounts to harass me with, and others to spy and keep tabs on me so they can report to their friends. My abusers.
Honestly, I have been suicidal since August. I didn't want to say anything, because I don't WANT to make anyone feel guilty, or have them start accusing me of faking or anything like that, because I know they will (especially since one of my abusers recently did that very thing to somebody else, only a few months after doing so to me and my friends). I don't want to weaponize my pain, and I don't intend to do so.
It did get better, then in October worse again. It's better now, in March, but seeing what people are saying to and about me and those I'm close to is making me slip again. It's made me physically ill, and I've barely eaten a thing in weeks. I just can't handle it anymore.
Much of the abuse I'm facing is from fellow proshippers, not even antis. I just want it to go away. But nobody has been content to leave me alone, or to stop lying about me, or hurting the people who are close to me. So, if I'm gone, maybe it will stop.
I'm safe for now, this is NOT a suicide note. I would not burden anyone with the knowledge if that's what I wanted to do. But I feel like it's going to become one if the abuse doesn't end, so I'm leaving in the hope that things will get better in my absence.
I don't expect to come back. Peace.
