Both by nature and by society standards. Can't even get a purse for fucks sake.

i wish people never started saying “nonbinary isn’t a gender” because that’s essentially saying “gay isn’t a sexuality”

they are both umbrella terms that could be a sexuality/gender on their own but could also mean a vast array of other things that fall under that umbrella.

nonbinary is as much of a gender to some and an umbrella for others as gay is a sexuality to some and an umbrella for others.

this oversimplified generalization that nonbinary isn’t a gender has caused more harm than good as it was basically used to drill into people that enbies all fall under diet man or diet woman categories. it has caused nonbinary as a gender category to be taken less seriously because the people using it were doing so to make the point that enbies can be gaylm/lesbian (which is true) but it’s had the consequence of now everyone mentally puts enbies in the mental category of “this nonbinary dates this women so that means they’re a nb sapphic which means i should treat them like a girl probably” which makes me so…. fududndndnf /neg

it also just makes people confused about what bisexuality is too because they categorize all nonbinary people under “man” and “woman” attraction even if they are nonbinary, causing many people who fall under the bi umbrella to get mislabeled as lesbians/gaylm because they’re attracted to multiple genders just excluding one of the binary genders because no one thinks being attracted to enbies “counts” as a separate gender category because everyone is mentally telling themselves “enbies aren’t separate from man and woman” when they tell themselves “nonbinary isn’t a gender”

i am nonbinary and that is my gender. it is not the only word i use to describe my gender but it is my gender category. i am not adjacent to man or womanhood. i can not be restricted to this masc/fem binary people keep trying to put me in to make their view of gender more simple. if i dont fit your binary then make a fucking trinary idc just include me without mentally putting me into a category that erases my gender identity. stop looking at me as a diet man/woman. stop telling me my gender isn’t my gender because you don’t want to consider my gender is outside the scope of the gender binary.

You’re not less transphobic just because you say AMAB or AFAB nonbinary instead of man-lite or woman-lite which is how you obviously see us

one kid in my program (we are in 6 sections, shes in section E im in F), she had an interview idea based around “what its like inside the mind of a NB/Trans person...” and every time someone brings that topic up I have to explain as to why i was against being interviewed. 

Every. Single. Fucking. Time. I am outing myself as NB. I hate it. Like yes im NB, but leave me alone? I’m just like you just not defining myself as one gender or the other. I feel so awkward - even scared when I mention that im NB. It scares me! I’ve gotten bad reactions to telling people im not cis, telling people im not straight.

i am Nonbinary - Asexual Panromantic. I have gotten reactions that range from “oh.... okay....” to  “Asexual? Im sure your just confused, Maybe you need to be on some medication to induce the need for sex hmm?” 

1) I feel like after about 3 years of living as a nonbinary person I am kind of done being preachy about how I am a “boy, girl, whatever”. That was a necessary phase after years of ignoring my inherit rejection of my assigned gender, but I am done with that (except occasionally, maybe when I am drunk lol). It just is what it is, you’ve seen it a bunch by now from me and I have fully accepted that this is how I experience life in my skin. You can talk to me about it if you yourself are going through it, but don’t try to dig into my own feelings regarding my gender. I am not always down for expressing my struggle with gender identity or talking about yours, so maybe also ask for my consent before you drop all that on me. Those conversations are very draining to me because I have already gone through all that or maybe I’m just having a bad fucking day with it. I don’t need constant reminders that I am not cis.

2) I am not here to use my gender or lack thereof as a statement against traditional gender roles and have myself mistaken by just a feminist or a tomboy or whatever the fuck else, who is just confused by internalized misogyny. Yes, I am a feminist but rejecting the gender that had been assigned to me and the roles that come with it is not an aspect of it; that’s another side of me that has nothing to do with being a feminist OR a woman. I speak on feminism as a person who was assigned girl at birth and has experienced those struggles, but now lives outside of the category of “woman” because nothing about it is makes sense to me, yet still supports those who want to claim the label of woman and rid themselves of stupid gender roles forced upon them because guess what, those roles are still forced on me. You don’t have to be a woman to recognize that those roles can be dumb. When it comes to feminism, leave my biological traits out of it (looking at you, TERF’s).

3) You don’t think non-binary people qualify as transgender? That’s cool bro, I still have the Dysphoria but sure. Just know when cishets look at me and see I’m not one of them, they’re gonna think I’m one of you. They will treat us the same way. Actually, they will treat me with even more disrespect, because there are “actual transpeople” (aka binary transpeople who have medically transitioned) out there telling them I don’t exist. Is this really that productive?

My gender is not open for debate, negotiation, discussion or outside opinions. If you do not live in this skin, you don't get to have a say in my gender identity, period, and the ONLY thing your negative opinion can do is alienate me.

If I share with you the name I am considering changing my name to, feel honored that I trusted you with it, and don't tell me what you think of it, I don't care if you don't like it, but if you say something negative I'll think less of you for it.

My pronouns are they/them. I will start correcting people on this if they don't correct themselves.

My sister calls me sibling. My kids still call me Mom*. I refer to myself as my husband's spouse. I'm still my niece's aunt*. I do not use woman, girl, she, her, wife or sister much anymore.

I DO understand that it takes time to adapt to change and that no one will be 100% on this stuff immediately, and if you slip I'm not going to be mad, but if you don't even try, I probably won't trust you very much.

This is not new. I've been struggling with the gender binary since childhood, I simply didn't have the language to describe myself and my experience until the past few years. I came out as nonbinary about 3 years ago, give or take.