#nonbinary rage

It was teeth and claws and it digs them both into my skin.

My muscles and bones are not safe from it's rage.

It bites and it tears as if trying to get out.

It screams, and it howls, trying to make me act.

It makes all my nerves be in constant watch.

This thing in my chest is ugly and it's wrong,

It tries to kill my love for anything and everything

with no reason at all to do so.

Makes my blood bubble up in heat

My vision turns red and I want it out of me.

I try to shout it out, dance it out, kick it out

Anything to make it leave me alone

But it always comes back in the same form.

I think its like a mamma bear,

Protecting her cub from all harm out there.

Something cuddles itself to her,

Clinging with soft paws asking for attention and care

Wallowing with sadness for whatever it can get.

Sometimes i have this thing in my chest.

It asks me to kiss you and hit you straight on the face.

It asks me to punch the wall at school

To break every drawing and poem I have of you.

I dont like that thing cause its not rational

I dont want you or need you like i did when it first came.

My heart has repaired itself,

Its looking for someone else,

And both soul and brain agree its for the best.

But then,

Why do i still have that thing?

That horrible, scary, powerful thing,

Why is it still stuck to me?

I sometimes have this thing in my chest.