#nonbinary labels

[pt: theyfab slur reclamation flag]

A nonbinary person who was afab or has been perceived as “female”

This slur has been used against nonbinary people who are open about the oppression they face for these things

Theyfab reclamation is about being open about how exorsexism and misogyny intersect

[pt: Theyfab reclamation is about being open about how exorsexism and misogyny intersect]

Flag without symbol

Sorry for the slow reply.  I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t had much time for Tumblr lately.  But my blog will probably get more active around the new year.

I’ve talked about my opinions on labels in a few posts already, but usually in passing.  I’m supportive of labels, even the kind that are usually called microlabels.  Having more language to describe our experiences is always a good thing.  Not having enough labels can lead to an inability to identify our own experiences, or an inability to recognize that our experiences are actually shared experiences with other humans.  Personally, I was not able to come out until my 30s because I had literally never met anyone like me or anyone who had heard of anyone else like me, despite my involvement in queer communities in my teens and 20s.  The words “nonbinary” and “aromantic” weren’t widely used then, and even though it was obvious to me that I was queer, other queer people were skeptical because their labels didn’t fit me.  Having more labels helps a wider variety of queer people be accepted, and helps us understand ourselves.

Conversely, queer people who are critical of microlabels are gatekeeping in a way that seems harmless, but it isn’t.  A big part of oppression is eliminating the language used to talk about oppression, so being opposed to microlabels or identity-specific jargon is doing the oppressors’ work for them.  We deserve to have a robust language to talk about our experiences.  “Making the community look like a joke” should not be our concern.  That’s assimilationist politics, which I’m opposed to.  If bigots are mocking us, then we’re doing something right, because we’ve gotten their attention.  Like the saying in activist circles goes, “first they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”  If they’re mocking us, then we’re already on the path to acceptance.  We should be accepted for who we are, living as our authentic selves.  If we cater to mainstream sensibilities, then we are conceding to our oppressors by demonstrating our willingness to compromise the terms of our existence, and they will use that against us forever.  Our right to exist should be unconditional.  If there are conditions on our acceptance into society, then we haven’t really been accepted into society at all.

That said, a nuanced understanding of the purpose and function of labels and jargon is helpful.  Think about how jargon is used in professional circles.  People don’t assume that outsiders are going to understand all their jargon.  Similarly, we shouldn’t expect everyone to understand the jargon specific to our queer identities, and it’s not necessary for them to understand it all.  First and foremost, we need to be able to talk about our identities and experiences with each other and with other queer people.  Beyond that, our acceptance into society doesn’t require a comprehensive understanding of our theory and labels, just the basics.  Also, labels aren’t absolutes or ideals or blueprints.  Labels are just tools, and they aren’t universally useful to everyone.  They help us communicate, and if a particular label isn’t useful to a particular individual, then they don’t need to use it.

the flags are really goddamn pretty, btw (trixic is of course my favorite) ;w;

the last one is bothering me because the m/f symbols are on top of the wrong flags but i couldn't find a fixed version 💔

edit: YOOOOOO I FOUND A COMBO FLAG THAT NOT ONLY LOOKS NICE, BUT HAS THE SYMBOLS POINTING TO THE RIGHT HALF!! the lgbta wiki calls it "tiric" (it should be called "toxic" because haha funny and it's me), and even though i hate that site and community as a source with a passion, every once in a while they come up with something good. so i'll take it.