#nonbinary feminism

I can’t seem to align myself with the woman or man boxes, and even in queer/trans spaces & discussions, it’s exceedingly rare that more than lip service is paid to nonbinary identities. I go to a transmasc meetup and I feel just a little out of place. I read and reflect on trans/feminist writing and find little purchase to understand my own experiences. I look for fictional characters who are like me and find almost none.

I feel like I’m missing this vast sense of identification, solidarity, and cultural understanding that are available to men and women. Nonbinary people seem so few, so varied, and so scattered that I doubt we will ever really have that. At best we can pick bits and pieces of others’ stories that resonate, knowing none of it is really *for* us. At worst we tear ourselves apart trying to make ourselves fit into those gendered boxes, questioning whether our sense of self really matters that much anyway.

I don’t really have a conclusion or a solution here. I think people are more afraid to be themselves in the present political climate, which certainly doesn’t help the matter. I just wish we could create space to move beyond affirmations of “validity” to more fully understand and articulate how nonbinary people move through the world.

What sort of thoughts are you looking for? If you are asking whether I see it as a thing that exists, then yes. Misandry as the "oppression of a man because they are a man" is always intersectional as the patriarchy is a bourgeois tool of control to favour a particular person to hold capital, to work, to organise the family unit, to organise society. The gender binary reinforces this by making one type of man or woman the "correct type" that every other type must try to attain to. That type presents conformingly binary, is not poor, is white, cisgender, perisex, heterosexual, able bodied and productive, law abiding (and therefore moral), fertile, sane and mentally "healthy", from the global north and west, amongst other things. These people are the people deemed the best workers, who will produce the best workers. These people are entrusted to hold capital, and so are posited as the archetype. The man is favoured between the woman and the man because of the dichotomous nature of the binary; "one must be better." Equality is not possible with such a system in place.

So if someone doesn't fit into this, they will be subjugated in the context of their binary gender. Black men are subjugated in this way, trans women are, lesbians are, disabled men are, so I don't see why trans men would be exempt from this. The women of any class (particularly intersectional women) will always get the shorter end of the stick so to speak in terms of systemic oppression as the least favoured in the dichotomy, but intersectional manhood will too be subjugated.

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I'm in my early 30s, I'm non-binary, and I'm trans masculine. Two or three years ago, I was sure that I was a woman. That equals about 30 years of my life living as a different gender than I actually was, never understanding why I was so uncomfortable while doing so. I had no way to describe the pain that I was feeling, and often enough didn't think that it was something that could be called pain. I just assumed it was normal to feel awful most of the time in your life.

That isn't to say I do not value the time that I spent thinking I was a woman. I do not think that it is bad to be a woman. I just know that I am not a woman. Do I think that the experience itself makes me a woman? No, but I do think it means that I experienced life as close to how a woman experiences it that you can get without actually being a woman. (Being, not presenting as, and not knowing that you are. If simply existing as a woman didn't feel a certain way, then how would trans women know what they are? If it didn't take a special feeling of being a woman to feel that one is a woman, I could just happily stay in this body as it is, identifying as the gender that strangers in public assume I have.) Everyone experiences misogyny in western society; it’s a plague upon the world. I’ve directly experienced anti-woman abuse while not even being a woman.

If you think that this is the reason why am a feminist, you're wrong. Experiencing misogyny does not make you become a feminist. For many people, it serves as a form of abuse which restrains them from joining causes such as feminism. That is, in its essence, the goal of misogyny. To disempower women. If it happens to disempower other people as a case of mistaken identity, that's just collateral damage. In fact, if those people were disempowered by misogyny, there is something wrong with them anyway. They either need to stick closer to the gender binary, or just stop being victims. That's just how the world works. Or at least, that’s what misogynists have tried to teach me. I've been a poor learner.

I am a feminist because I have to be. Because of what it is, feminism must inherently fight the gender binary to achieve its goal: equality for women. It is my belief that equality for women cannot happen unless all genders have equality, and this cannot happen without breaking the control the gender binary has over our societies. As a non-binary person, I am actively or passively forced into the gender binary everyday. I do not want to live like this, and I am tired of seeing those that I love hurt by this. So I have no choice but to be a feminist. Women cannot be equal with the other genders unless all genders, including non-binary genders, are given equal respect and consideration in our societies.

hi there. this is related to a topic that weighs heavily on my mind. for nonbinary folks - afab and amab alike - inclusion in gendered spaces is such a fraught concept, especially when those spaces are actually constructed as safer spaces/supportive environments. as nonbinary folks, how do we relate to feminism and feminist spaces? how do we relate to women’s only spaces, or spaces that are primarily advertised as being for women?

i’ve never heard of groups specifically for nonbinary people in STEM fields - but clearly, there’s a need for that kind of space and those conversations. there are, however, groups more broadly advertised towards LGBTQ+ folks in STEM fields, and that might be a place to start. however, if you’re at a small college or in a smaller town, that sort of group is unlikely to exist (yet). you might want to check out this list of oSTEM (out in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) chapters, and think about starting one at your school.

i think that, if you feel you could benefit from and give back to “women in STEM” spaces, you should be able to participate in those spaces. this is my personal opinion on the subject; other folks may disagree. from my point of view, the real question is whether or not you would feel comfortable participating in those spaces, and what ways could you maintain your nonbinary identity in those spaces without detracting from the solidarity they offer. i think that’s entirely possible. for starters, you might want to talk to the folks who organize or sponsor that group at your school and share with them your concerns. tell them that you know you will be facing many of the same challenges that other members of this group will as they pursue their careers, and ask the organizers to work with you to identify ways to make this space more inclusive and less binary-oriented.

Someone posted a question that led me to looking into essays/webpages pertaining to the relationship between nonbinary gender identities and feminism. When it comes to this subject there are a lot of unique and complex questions that come up, so I decided to see what other people have written about it instead of dive into it headfirst myself. Below I’ve linked to some essays and webpages I found that are about or seem relevant to nonbinary gender identities and feminism:

"Where Do We Belong? Gender and Privilege"

"Beyond the Binary: Where Do I Fit In?"

"Genderqueer Feminism: Transcript From A Panel On Trans*"

"Why It’s Not Okay to Give Forum To Transcritical Debate"

"We Are Committed To Trans* Inclusive Feminism"

"Question: Feminism and Androgyny"

"A Trip to Woman City"

I hope these are as interesting reads for others as they were for me. I don't necessarily agree with everything said in all of these, I just thought that these are good for providing different perspectives to look at the topic in depth.