#noircreature

dear you,

I'm trying to listen to your words, But I can't feel my head and it's unravelling - Beach Fossils, Sleep Apnea -

“あなたはいつも前だけ見てた 私はというと、そんなあなたを見てた”  • Feelings, are something invisible. Ironically, if you are clumsy at hiding them, sooner or later they will all be exposed. • Human beings, are ridiculously predictable. Don't believe me? Let me tell you one example. There will be times when your mind is occupied by images of another homo sapien. Your thoughts and feelings will start piling up. Your imagination and expectations will then run wild. After that, your expressions and behaviors will become unnatural, if it’s not weird, when you guys are within a 5m radius from each other.  • The person either will leave you breathless, or suffocated.  • Bad things happen to you when you decide to keep every damn thing one-sided. Apparently, it is not easy to stable a warm heart and a cool head. As your feelings grow stronger (mostly because of your imagination and assumptions toward that person), all of the things running in your head will start to consume you. And it pains you when the person doesn't even know about this. Or worse, they know (because you have been clumsy), and decide to do nothing about it. The moment you realize your feelings are no way will be returned, all the fantasy can become misery real quick.   • “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional” It is hard to suppress feelings. Extremely hard, because it is human nature. Be it happiness, sappiness, sentiment, or resentment. Therefore, about this pathetic misery, I’m telling you, you have to make every effort to find ways to kill it. Whatever works for you, kill your feelings, kill your darlings, whatsoever works. You have to, if you want to get out of this with somewhat-decent damage control.  • “さよならバカな人”

When you go Would you even turn to say I don't love you Like I did yesterday

people only get scars if their wounds are healing

muse

“The past is something he could see, but not touch And everything he sees is blurred and indistinct”

I can talk philosophy with you all day. You can do the same thing with me, in fact, with anyone. Human are the original hypocrites. We can say sophisticated shit and sound like we got all our life values and beliefs figured out. Truth is, I am as clueless and lost and broken as you are.  • Can’t you see? This is why we are fucked. • We all try so hard to protect our hermit safe house. It’s kay, you can fake all you want, but at least, let’s try being honest with your own soul. Lately i’ve been trying to reflect on myself, trying to be mindful of myself. Just to know that i’m breathing in breathing out so that I can focus on regulating it. Or just to know that i’m walking so that I can focus on walking a straight line and not impeding other people on the street. I just need to know that I should exist as I am.  One day, I want to be able to realize my state of mind at an exact moment. In stead of living on like an empty shell, I want to know if I am sad, or I am stressed, or I am just blank. One day, I want to even be able to tell why or how or what causes the triggers. • I think that if I can learn to accept myself, I can tolerate me in stead of thinking “I am to blame for that, I do deserve that”. • “Pain is inevitable, misery is optional”