#no anger

Lately, I’ve been sitting with the question of love. What it really is. Who deserves it. How I want to give it - fully, deeply, without begging for scraps or shrinking myself to fit into someone’s cold comfort zone.

I keep thinking about the kind of love I longed for - the kind I kept offering even when it wasn’t held with care. I kept showing up with open hands, communication, and promises I meant. But what I gave wasn’t protected.

So now, I’m asking harder questions. What do I need to learn to be the kind of love that doesn’t break itself trying to be enough? Who do I need to become to be the kind of love that holds, that shelters, that stays?

I want love that doesn’t come with suspicion in its eyes or judgment on its tongue. Love that doesn’t crumble under assumptions. Love that doesn’t weaponize my truth. I want love built on trust. On safety. On presence. Love where I can breathe without being questioned. Where I can exist without defending myself. Where I am not punished for needing connection or misunderstood for being human.

And when I strip it all down, when I let the ache speak for me, it sounds like this:

I don't often watch his videos; especially the ones involving Jack (my sonnn). Not helped that there isn't a completed playlist with all of his episodes.

ненавижу когда…..люди…..убивают мир грибов….зачем????

It’s been a year since this gem, and I’m still waiting:

a. for any explanation about the-reunion-that-wasn’t (especially now that we know that Bughead were still in contact ... oops!)

b. for any kind of fallout for what “cut [Jughead] really deep” (so far he’s been Archie’s bro, Betty’s sleuthing partner and has had no problem about post-time jump b*rchie twice ... )