#nm gumpa

Chapters: 2/?

Fandom: เขา...ไม่ใช่ผม | Not Me (TV 2021) Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Relationships: Gumpa/Yok (Not Me TV 2021), Sean/White (Not Me TV 2021), Black/Gram (Not Me TV 2021)

Characters: Gumpa (Not Me TV 2021), Yok (Not Me TV 2021), Sean (Not Me TV 2021), White (Not Me TV 2021), Black (Not Me TV 2021), Gram (Not Me TV 2021), Yok's Mother (Not Me TV 2021), Techit (Not Me TV 2021)

Additional Tags: Time Loop, Grief/Mourning, loss of friendship, Self-Hatred, Self-Sacrifice, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Blood and Injury, author desperately tries to understand how time loops work, Hospitals

Summary:

Gumpa was fairly certain the breadth of his ineptitude would haunt him for the rest of his life and he knew he deserved nothing less. He’d put Yok in that position, listened to his weak smile and whispered “I’m fine, hia,” despite the nagging in the back of his head that there could be no way Yok was fine, that he needed to get him back to the hospital immediately. It’d taken too long for the ambulance to reach the protest, taken too long to get back to the hospital, just taken too long. Once they’d reached the hospital it had only taken a matter of hours.

He couldn’t understand how someone so full of vibrant life and incandescent love could exit the world without even a whisper. Everything Yok did he did with a bang, and yet he had crept silently into death.

--

FIRSTKANAPHANS FLUFF PROMPTS 🧡

[H]uddling for Warmth

There wasn't supposed to be rain tonight. Gumpa had been so careful to check, he knew the boys wouldn't, and he'd planned everything perfectly so they'd launch their plan on a clear night. Fate had a funny way of getting in the way. The plan still went fine, perfect even, but his boys returned to the garage drenched and shivering as they pulled their masks down their faces.

Once they'd checked in and given a clumsy report of the events they mostly separated - White and Sean to Sean's room, Gram and Black back to Grams, but Yok hesitated in the center of the garage.

Of course he was wearing one of his sleeveless shirts, arms wrapped around himself as if that could stave off the cold that trembled over his thin form. His teeth chattered quietly and Gumpa could see from his spot on the couch that his skin was still damp and pebbled. He couldn't send him home like this (never mind that he'd sent the rest home in this exact state.) "Yok, follow me." He stood once they were alone, leading him through the back of the garage and into his bedroom. He grabbed a fluffy towel from his dresser and turned in one fluid movement, draping it around Yok's head and shoulders. Carefully, he began drying Yok's hair despite his soft protests. "Hia, seriously, it's fine." Yok sighed, but he could almost feel the warmth radiating off of Gumpa like a furnace and he couldn't help but half-step forward. He suppressed a soft gasp at the feeling of Gumpa's warm hand on the back of his neck, his palm feeling like a brand that had him shudder down to his toes.

"How does your scar feel?" Gumpa asked, ignoring Yok entirely and offering only a lopsided smile in response to his glare. He dropped the towel down around his shoulders, mopping up what he could before letting it hang there. He returned his attention to his dresser, fishing out a sweater and sweatpants that he knew would be far too big on Yok, but would get him out of his soaking wet clothes (and why didn't he just send him home?) "It aches a little but it's fine." Yok tugged on the ends of the towel, watching Gumpa's back as he bent to grab the clothes from the dresser. He knew he could go home, take a hot shower, nestle in his bed, but something kept him here. It was like the safety of the garage was all the warmth he needed.

"Here, get changed and you can sleep here tonight. I'll take the couch." Gumpa stepped away and Yok let him go, though something twisted low in his stomach.

Once he was alone he shed his wet clothes and kicked them into a corner to deal with later. He only just resisted pulling the clothes to his nose to smell them. He knew they'd smell like Gumpa - like motor oil, the cigarettes he thought they didn't know about, and the slightly floral but cheap laundry detergent he kept around the garage.

Yok poked his head out the door as he finished dressing, watching as Gumpa tried in vain to get comfortable on the couch. "Hia?" "Mm? Everything okay?" Gumpa looked over the arm of the couch, brows lifted in concern. His throat bobbed as he took in the sight of Yok in his clothes, sweater practically hanging off one of his shoulders. Fuck. "I'm still cold. Why don't we share the bed?" Yok had that look about him; that undeniably flirty smile and 'don't I look innocent' eyes that Gumpa had seen lead men to his bed like a Siren's song. He just never thought the Siren would sing for him.

"I don't think-"

"Please, Hia?" Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Fine." Gumpa made a solemn vow that they would only sleep. This was Yok, one of his boys, his family. This was a line he would not and could not cross. He was supposed to be safety for them and he'd rather cut his own hand off than jeopardize that security.

Silently, he padded back into the bedroom and to his usual side of the bed. He slipped beneath the covers just as Yok slid in across from him and Yok hadn't been lying, he could feel the chill still lingering on his skin.

Yok, however, sighed at the radiating heat coming from the other side of the bed. He'd never realized before how hot Gumpa ran and he was drawn to it now like a very, very cold moth to a very, very warm flame. He turned to face Gumpa and pressed his cold toes to his calf, cackling in delight when Gumpa jumped. "Shit! Yok, your feet are freezing!"

"I told you I was cold. I just can't seem to get warm," He sighed, all previous playfulness gone. He really was tired of the chill and the ache in his side. It brought back memories he'd rather leave buried deep. "Can I scoot closer?"

The question was so soft, so earnest, Gumpa had no choice but to nod his head. He held himself perfectly still as Yok scuttled forward and made himself comfortable against his chest. He didn't pull away but didn't help as Yok lifted his arm and draped it over himself, essentially cocooning himself in the warmth he had to offer.

"Better?" Gumpa wondered, allowing himself to shift slightly and mold himself from shoulder to ankle against Yok, feeling the cold slowly creep away.

"Mm. Great." Yok yawned as he leaned his head against Gumpa's chest and listened to the rhythmic thump there. "You should listen to your heart sometime, Hia."

I always like to answer outside the main pair bc I feel like we're meant to love them, you know?

So outside of Sean and White it's really a tie for Gumpa or Yok.

Yok is so endearing and he's such a ray of sunshine and he has so much hope and optimism while still being realistic about society. He also has so much emotional intelligence and insight for someone so young - what particularly sold me on him is when he's urging Dan NOT to tell Sean about killing his father. It seems kind of fucked up, but all Dan is trying to do in that moment is make himself feel better and Yok realizes telling Sean isn't going to help at all, it's just going to alleviate Dan's guilt and make everyone else feel worse. I just love that he realizes that and while he's not the "honest" way to do things, imo I would've advised the same.

Gumpa is daddy.