⌗ nla incorrect quotes
𖹭 Know why I called you in here?
𖹭 Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
𖹭 (Stops pouring two glasses of wine) Accidentally?
𖹭 (Kiss)
𖹭 ...!
𖹭 ...Did you steal my chapstick?
𖹭 Did- did I what?
𖹭 My chapstick, Hershel. Did you steal it?
𖹭 Asa, for the love of God, not this again.
𖹭 I- No, I didn't steal your chapstick. We use the same chapstick.
𖹭 No, there is absolutely no way we use the same chapstick, because it was only sold on one Etsy shop two years ago and they discontinued it, and I loved it so much that I bought the last of their stock, and I keep it in my freezer so it doesn't go bad. It's been discontinued for three years. No one uses the same chapstick for three years. So unless you've been eating a whole fuck ton of something that's flavored like chocolate and popcorn, you absolutely stole my fucking chapstick.
𖹭 Chocolate and popcorn?
𖹭 Why do you think it got discontinued?
𖹭 Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine?
𖹭 ...What did you do?
𖹭 Take a guess, Hersh.
𖹭 sapnu puaS.
𖹭 What??
𖹭 What language is that?
𖹭 Turn your phone 180 degrees. ♡
𖹭 Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
𖹭 Is it because l said 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
𖹭 THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL.
𖹭 H-how do you ask someone out?
𖹭 Well, first-
𖹭 Don't ask him, he asked me out in a McDonald's parking lot.
𖹭 ...And you said yes?
𖹭 So, Nolan. Asmodeus.
𖹭 According to this, you two are being accused of: Armed Robbery, Vandalism, Drug Abuse, Grand Theft Auto…
𖹭 We had a bad day.
𖹭 And… murder?
𖹭 It was a pretty bad day…
