sisters who HATED each other growing up. sisters who were mean to each other, who stole and fought, said awful things, did awful things, and hurt each other in ways that went deeper than scratches or bruises. sisters who ruined each others projects, who ruined makeup and tore clothes. sisters who screamed and yelled till their lungs gave out. who said things about each other that can’t ever be taken back.
sisters who talk, finally, years later. sisters who desperately want to apologize to the other, and just doesn’t know how. how does somebody apologize for torment, for making someones life harder, for making her life worse, just by being around.
sisters who open up. over weeks, about things the other would have no idea about, about things the other should have known. passions, friendships, past partners, work and issues and therapy and all the rest. sisters who laugh about it all, who cry for each other, who venture even to hug and hold and be there for the other.
sisters who can’t help but wonder just how much they still don’t know. does she still let dishes pile up in her room? does she still sing in the shower, or talk through movies? does she still get grumpy in the mornings? sisters who ache to ask. sisters who keep wondering. sisters who never let themselves wonder why they’re thinking about the other so much lately.
sisters who can’t ignore all the little things anymore. sisters who have committed the look of their lips to memory. who find themselves admiring the other, their hair or their eyes, who burn the image of curves and moles and peach fuzz into the back of their minds. sisters who, lately, see so much of the little girls they once were in eachother.
sisters who, one night, so far away from each other, both realize that it’s more than what they thought. sisters who feel this tug in their chest when they’re apart, who burn and ache and want, and can’t stand it anymore.
sisters who realize they’re fucked. so, so fucked. she would never. she’d hate me. it’d go back to being just like how it was before.
sisters who resolve to meet in cafes, restaurants, bars and gardens, to hold on to whatever they can until it falls apart.
i’ll spend my life with her, even if it’s not the way i want. i’ll love her from far away they both think, as they sit together, at a cramped little table.