#nisalsanalyzing

Like all he really is is a pile of sad goo that’s full of happiness on the inside, he loves to love, he loves to be loved and he is awkward about how he cares, he shows it twisted because his dad was presumably absent for most of the time and when he wasn’t he was slightly drunk, the closest thing he had to a friend was a rival and the closest thing he had to a crush was a senpai he played against for 2 years that broke down on him; left him with a huge pile of responsibility that admittedly he was ready for and the others (COUGH COUGH tanba COUGH miyauchi COUGH specifically WHEEZE) weren’t and because he was rejected by his old team and he took care of an entire two layer household.

My favorite moments of him are when pouts and whines and sulks with the people he feels okay to be vulnerable with, he can handle pain but when he is with people he trusts he’d rather not and just whine a mile long, when he talks too much because he is a yapper and cant stop talking once he starts and vehemently denies it when stated that he is happy, when he is grinning softly and goofily with eijun on the mound because they are of the same mind and he is about to call one hell of a game. (And he is a jam making nerd i mean come onmnn he is so gooffyyyy, stupid little nerd)

Like he is happy, he isn’t as scared of vulnerability as he used to be, he is still sad, it never leaves him of course thats but a part of him and he still tries to manage everything on his own and dodges subjects he doesnt want to talk about with teasings but thats all natural to him, he grew. My baby im so proud of him

I can see the hint of possessiveness he has the jealousy he can harbor especially when he was injured and dejected but really he isnt a boy musken in the scent of sorrow without a trace of saving him from it unless a sunshine child comes into play, he is a sociable, amicable guy that is somewhat of a teasing bully to his friends and or everyone. He is able to save himself from sorrow and sadness with his thoughts, a rather hard earned skill.

Of course if left alone without people he can consider family for long enough he would fall back into his old self scared of vulnerability and unable to engage with nuance on human nature.

He gets there of course, his entire captaincy arc makes him softer, soothes his edges. Makes him understand the value of humans rather than just baseball itself.

GOSSHHH like his pout after their fight with zono was so cuuttteeee my little boy is msturinnggg he is becoming aware of human connection and is actively engaging with empathy on a more consciously cognitive level than he was before!!/?-₺/!!!!! MY BABBBYYYYY

Or the way his eyes shined when he realized he couldnt simply relax and rest easy because he is already good at baseball, he cant let anyone beat him (COUGH COUGH sawa WHEEZE HOHG mura COUGH) like it made him realize i think that baseball is a lot more than what it was to him at the time.

Him playing with his injury was a way for him to reconnect with baseball and the team, being the captain making him forget how much fun he has playing the sport that carved him.

Then eijun comes in and i cant talk enough about how they are perfect for each other!!!! Like its their bonf and connection aside. Eijun‘s arsenal is what leads miyuki’s belief of calling a perfect game closer to possible rather than barely feasible; Miyuki’s knowledge and love for the game is what turns Eijun into the monster of an ace he is today, his guidance his never ending supply of trust that Eijun will be fine. That he can manage to come back and that he will FORCE him to come back because he expects a lot from him.

They never fail to surpass their expectations of each other (and its so😭😭🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤 MY MYYSWWWWWW u cannot twll me terajima-sensei did not intend for this.) and GAH!!!!! GGGGSAAHAHAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

My happy and vulneravke miyuki in the comfort pf his baseball family☹️☹️😕😕🙁🙁🙁🙁😔😔😔😭😭😞😞😞 I lovr him so bad. His growth is so important to me

Like the moment when tanba(same goes for miyauchi) acknowledges him is so important, his expressions are slight in the beginning of the story, he doesn’t show them outwardly that much but he is so happy, he is the happiest he ever has been in the story up until that point and in the moment its obvious but when i look back at a post i made abt it it looks normal, like an everyday smile (and GOOODDDDD terajima yuuji sensei u r insane.) but later in the story as eijun and him get closer, as he and nabe become strategy buddies, as the captains grow closer together he is so much more expressive, he is so much more open to physical touch, he is far less mean too, it’s obvious that he is joking now rather than slightly meaning whatever mean thing he is saying😭😭😭🙁🙁🙁🙃☹️☹️😕😕😕😞😞😔😔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

He is when i look at him from a certain angle, and tbh the angle we see a lot of him of, the fandom focuses on the most (such as i) but from where i look at it it’s deeply mischaracterized and misunderstood.

He is lonely, in the way that how a gay person loves a straight one, it’s unattainable and dangerous. Like it’s literally impossible to understand his loneliness without understanding his queerness, i do think he is gay, (that he leans closer to boys if i hc him as bi) and i also think TY planned this to an extent, because important parts of characters only become truly understood when viewed with this specific lens, how miyuki is small and poor and raised by a single father but their relationship is alright, slightly more strained than their younger selves maybe but a classic family dynamic, and how once you realize his responsibilities are crushing him and how he feels the need to protect his effortless, genius catcher persona yet is angry when it’s said that their efforts are a simple point of motivation, how he is also seemingly queer. Its minute things but once you manage to stack them and look into them

Like for eijun, id say these things are how his relationship to his friends have small insecurities to them, how his confidence and social endurance is sky high but other things affect him, distance for one, we dont see him insecure over a lot of things in his other relationships but mainly ones involving platonic emotions, for miyuki, in this analysis who i will assume eijun has romantic feelings to, the need to be trusted with everything, and the hatred of secrecy,

Thats one of the main things, he wants to be depended on, he wants to be trusted he wants to be a wall for all of his friends and teammates and coaching staff alike, he wants to be there, whenever possible, right where they need him. Its the biggest core of a sports player, they want to be needed, but for eijun this raging motion is stronger, dare i say the strongest in the manga, he wants to be needed, not wanted or required, for him being a need is a must to any place he belongs to.

He must become someone that’s like water, he must be the foundation yo any building, the brick that makes the wall stand up. Yet at the same time this driving factor of his battles with his awareness that anywhere he belongs to is a team, that he cannot ever be always essential or inherent to any place he once called home.

Eijun learns this from the first chapter, that people will want him even if he is not needed. But inherentness, a forever safe place, one he can always become formidable of, eijun learns that this also doesn’t exist, that this ideal cannot hold and will only break him through his first summer tournament, seidous loss against inashiro, in the form of yips, in the form of the third year class graduating, first from baseball, second from high school. His learning period ends with chris’ final lesson, its his finally moving on moment, its the moment that sinks everything in,

Its also a merhem for his sense of responsibility, as a being that must be needed, he bears the responsibility of the foundation, water, the brick, if he fails at being those the team wavers. I think also why miyuki kazuya and eijun hit it so well, a captain is essentially what ace eijun is, what he wants to be, which is why sawamura and miyuki always and always improve each other and keep on challenging each other.

(This foreverness was something he learned in his hometown how everything with them was constant, how the town life was probably slower than tokyo, how his friends and their dreams alligned. I dont think he wouldve been able to show this much character development if he hadnt gone to seidou, hadnt met miyuki and every single one of his teammates. TY yıu absolute god oh how everyone manages to affect eijun and each other ohhh)

It also teaches him the importance of time. How its a thing that runs out and also the importance of strength. How an ace must be unshakable just like the captain. The reason why they are 1 and 2 is exactly that, if the ace is the start of the entire machine, the captain (or mainly captain catchers) is the locomotion, if one doesnt work the other fails immediately and sudden.

It’s all of these things making him lonely, but not alone, the pitcher is always by their lonesome on that mound after all, only an ace can understand the prowess of the shoulders and the back of another ace, that mounting responsibility that doesnt lessen even when shared, and a catcher understands it from the other angle of pressure, their weight is equal and thats why great batteries must be great teammates.

But you see, eijun is an ace, he is number 1, and from his one he expects the tantamount trust and respect. Basically when it comes to miyuki, eijun unlearns all the hard drilled lessons of his and acts on whims, manages to reign them in but still acts on those raring emotions. He is number one, and he wants to be acted upon by that status, but miyuki does not give him that, miyuki never gives him that, despite being 2, they are separated by both seniority, age and inter-team dynamics, for eijun there is also society a pressure he does not yet realize. (Also as you may have noticed, furusawa treat each other as number 1, but eijun only gets jealous when miyuki treats monster rookie with that status, dangling the unattainable right in front of him, provoking him to come and get it.)

When it comes to miyuki, eijun wants to be his number 1, his inhibitions all the lessons learned all the things he is managed to carve into his bones about teammates and matches and baseball, puff! Gone in an instant because even if he knows that he can never be something foundational something fundamental something so basically a part of him like baseball that if eijun leaves miyuki will never be the same again, miyuki does not give him that. Because miyuki does not love him back this way, eijun forgets any and all things because to him miyuki has forgone being a teammate, he has become someone essential.

Its also about how eijun takes after miyuki, idolizes him, takes in miyukis queerness. Its subtle but its there in his growth, he learned all he could from him and he carries it with distinct marks.

He is lonely because this entire experience is supposed to be lonely. Its this quiet suffering because even he doesnt know it yet and its obvious in the narrative, its obvious in everywhere of the narrative involving miyuki for sawamura is unknown, its shrouded in mysterryyyy, SAWAMURA DOESNT KNOW YET HE HAS FALLEN DEEP FOR THIS DUMBASS YAKYUU SHOUNEN AND IS SUFFERING FROM IT.

eijun’s biggest enemy right now is the future, yet also his greatest comrade. Future has always been a concept that both scares and eludes eijun, he started out fearing its weight to not understanding its weight to now again fearing it, but not the same fear, you know the fear an experienced artist has when they pick up a pen, or an author with a blank page, its the fear of an unknown familiar, its the fear that choice gives you, the same fear that stops people from becoming an actual chooser. Its the determining point of wether whenever you choose anything, is it an illusion or is it a choice?