!!TW!! Themes of breakups, self hatred, and loneliness
Not being liked is not so great.
Itâs pretty black and white, really.
Well, thatâs depending on the person. Maybe there are people who donât like being liked. And maybe there are people who arenât liked and are satisfied or fine with it.
Percy Jackson wasnât that kind of person.
He wanted people to like him.
In an ideal world, everyone liked him. He knew that wasnât possible, but hey.
And when he learnt that Annabeth Chase didnât like him anymore, it basically felt like his world was caving in on him.
Dramatic, he knew, but he couldnât believe it. One second, his life and relationships felt perfect, the next, he was single, lying on his floor, ugly crying while eating ice cream.
That word scared him. Being alone was like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the jelly. Like a⊠yin without its yang.
He couldnât be alone. He just couldnât.
He was Percy Jackson for god sakes. Heâd saved the world, what, like ten thousand times? Heâd been to tartarus and back, swam in the river styx, and dealt with puberty.
There he was, staring up at the ceiling of cabin three, the Poseidon cabin, blinking sleep from his eyes while the morning sun shone through the cracks of his blinds.
I mean, really, he understood. Sometimes, you just⊠fall out of love. And start talking to someone else. And realize youâre hella gay and dump your boyfriend.
Percy didnât understand being gay obviously, but he understood that sometimes it just doesnât work.
He didnât blame Annabeth.
If only heâd just been⊠better.
He sighed, blowing hair out of his eyes only to have them fall back down and tickle his forehead instead.
But hey! Why be a pity party? Maybe being single wouldnât be so bad. Lots of people had done it for years and theyâre all fine, right?
It was just that everyone had someone.
So was he weird? Would he feel like an outcast, hanging out with happy couples? This fall theyâd all be sharing hot chocolates and Percy would be staring at his feet wishing the ground would swallow him whole.
âStop, Percyâ, He chided himself. âYouâre being over dramatic. Youâre fine. Now get your lazy ass out of bedâ.
No matter how many times he tried to push himself up or roll over, his body disobeyed.
âUrghfâ Percy managed slurring at the door, muffled by his octonauts comforter.
The door swung open with a bang, revealing a beaming Jason Grace.
âGoooood morning bro! Howâd you sleep, manâ? He asked, strolling in and ruffling Percyâs raven black hair.
Percy let out an indignant âmurmphâ in response.
Jason rolled his eyes and glared down at him.
âYou told me youâd start trying to get out of bed in the mornings, and there has been zero improvementâ.
âGet off my case. Youâre not my momâ Percy said pushing the blankets off of himself and sitting up.
Jason scowled, then smirked.
âNice shortsâ he nodded towards his torso.
âHey, man, I donât care what you think. Spongebob is a classicâ Percy said, though he felt his face get rather warm.
âWhatever. Anyway, weâre all having breakfast together by the water. Chiron said it was okayâ.
âEveryoneâ? Percy asked.
Jason shrugged. âYeah, you, me, Leo, Nico, Piper, Annabeth-â
âNope. Not happeningâ Percy grumbled, shuffling towards his closet stiffly.
Jason sighed, and Percy didnât have to see his face to know he was obviously already pissed with Percy.
Though it had been⊠Percy glanced at the clock.
Only three minutes since Jason had came to wake him up. This was probably almost a record.
âLook, Percy, I know itâs awkward with Annabeth, but if you donât come, sheâs going to blame herself and think youâre like⊠ghosting her, man. And thatâs not coolâ.
Percy turned to face Jason to give him a falsely sweet smile.
âOh gee, thanks, Jason! What great insight, I totally didnât think of that at all. Youâve made me change my mind! Of course Iâll come, and itâll all be fine and dandy,â he said sarcastically, batting his eyelashes.
Jason scruched his nose and narrowed his eyes but didnât say anything.
There was an awkward silence as Percy searched through his drawers to pull out his camp half blood shirt and a pair of blue ripped jeans.
âLook. Iâm sorry, okay? I just donât think I can do itâ, Percy said turning to face Jason.
Maybe if he played up a kicked puppy act Jason would let him go.
Jason laughed. A good, long, hard laugh.
âOh, I see! You thought I was giving you an option. Thatâs funny. Youâre coming to breakfast, Jackson. Get dressed, and if youâre not ready in ten minutes I will barge in here and pull you by the ear.â
âWhatever, Dad,â Percy mumbled.
âWhat was thatâ? Jason asked, turning back to look at him as he opened the door to leave.
âNothin, just said okay.â
âHmâ Jason replied mutely as he shut the door.
The truth was, Annabeth wasnât the only reason he didnât really want to go.
He didnât have a problem with Nico, per se.
Especially after Nico had to confessed to Percy about his prior feelings, and his whole coming out thing.
It wasnât that Percy found that weird, or anything. Heâd been confessed to many times ( though he didnât really know why ).
He didnât have a homophobic inch in his body, and he definitely wasnât uncomfortable with a guy liking him. If anything, he was flattered.
There was⊠tension? Thatâs the right word. And the tension had thickened progressively after Annabeth had broken up with Percy.
And at first, he thought maybe it felt weird, cuz maybe Nicoâs feelings were coming back, but then Percy remembered Nicoâs whole ânot his typeâ statement ( in which Percy was still incredibly bitter over ).
So when Percy had thought about it more, he realizedâŠ
Maybe, just maybe⊠it was the opposite.
( if anyone feels like theyâve seen this before, you might have! This is my writing, but I posted it a while ago on my main account, @mackonfire. This is the new, edited version. )
