#nicelydoesitnathan

Merry Christmas everybody!

... hello *waves*

So I know this may seem a little out of the blue, since the last post I made was back in September, but I can honestly say there hasn't been a day since I left that I haven't thought about tumblr and everyone on here, and since it's Christmas, I thought I would save some time to come and tell you all!

So anyway, now I'm here, I don't really know what to say.

First off, I'm so, so incredibly sorry that I left so suddenly. Things got a little out of control and, as a consequence, with everything going on in my life at the time, tumblr was the first thing to go. Basically, I lost someone very close to me and nearly lost myself. Things have been tough. Tougher than they have ever been. It was hard enough just trying to get up in the mornings for college to try and keep ploughing through everyday, soldiering on through each minute of college even though I wanted to breakdown, living for the weekend when I would finally get to RADA and let everything out. I was just keeping myself busy so I wouldn't have to deal with the emotions nagging at the back of my mind. So I am really, truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart for leaving you all. And now I understand that some of my closest and oldest friends on here are no longer running their blogs or logging on very often and I feel so bad for not keeping in touch with you all. It's all my fault and I hope that at this time of year especially, you can all forgive me. I have a few coursework assignments to finish and pieces of work I need to amend before I start college again next year, but I promise I will take some time out of my festive holidays to get back onto tumblr and try and make things the way they were again.

I want to fix everything I made wrong.

So... yeah. How have you all been? What have you been up to? What went down on tumblr while I've been gone? God! I feel like I've missed so much! And I have! Christ! TW's new album, world tour, Siveesha's engagement, Max and Nathan's girlfriend's, rumours about Nariana, rumours about Scooter dropping the lads from his label, cancelling the European leg of the tour, Max's personal problems forcing him to go back to Manchester, Nathan losing his granddad... everything! Bloody hell, I'm so sorry I haven't been here to go through it all with you! I have literally had some of the best experiences on here since I started my blog, and I was sat in bed the other night thinking everything through, and honestly, all the best things about tumblr out-weight the bad stuff ten-to-one! I've missed everyone so, so much, and I just wish I could make it better and come back and fill the slot I left... if there's still space for me, that is?

God I've got so much to say! SOOOO much has happened in my life since I left! It feels like I have been dragged through an entire intensive term at college with not even room to breathe, I've been through the best time of my life at RADA, I've had some of the lowest moments I've ever had the displeasure of living through, I've kneed someone in the groin in the middle of Enbankment tube station, I've been in and out of hospital for a little while, I'm at the brink of finally telling my parents all about my problems, I've got some pretty bad news from the doctors that made me rethink and re-evaluate everything in my life, I've laughed and cried more and had more mood swings since September than I ever thought possible in a human life, I've met a boy (heheh!), I've been the awkward third wheel on two dates and counting, I've been through some of the craziest shit imaginable... and more! I wish I could have one massive Skype call with every single one of you and just ramble on for about 7 hours straight! PHEW!

And if there's any chance that you will accept me back onto the world of tumblr, then hopefully I will finally be able to fill you in on everything that has happened in the last 4 months, and we can go back to the way things were and pretend I was never gone...?

So I guess I should probably wrap this one up now and let you lot decide. I just wanted you to know that at my most favourite time of the year, I was having a wonderful time with my family and I wanted to share it all with you, so I thought I should start making some amends. Either way, I hope you all have had the most amazing time and I hope I can keep in touch and catch up with you all!

So here's to everyone, to Trina, to Jo, to Maria, to Mollie, to Angel, to Erica, to Larissa, and to everyone who has ever shown me love or even sent me a little message once in a while. I'm sorry I put you through what I did and I want to make it better.

And to the followers who stuck with me this long, through everything: Thank you. You all mean the world to me, you really do.

I really hope that you have all had a wonderful day and that you've all made some incredible memories with your family and loved ones. Let's spare a thought for those who can't be with us today.

Sending my love to all of you.

Take care,

Izzy

For some reason, my BOTM poll isn't showing up on my blog. I've checked both the hosting website and the HTML on my blog and I really can't explain why it isn't showing up. It was available this morning, but since I came back from the gym it's not popping up.

But you can still vote! Click this link and it will take you direct to the same poll! You have roughly 1 hour and 15 minutes to vote (VOTES CLOSE 9PM GMT TIME), so keep going!