2013 was without a doubt the worst year of my entire 25 years. I have never been through so much heartache, anxiety and mourning. It, of course, did have some ups but nothing I care to really talk about. My dad was mine, my fajh, my rock, my first love (as every daddy should be for a daughter- I am blessed I had my daddy since the day I came into the world, as some little girls didn't). He knew me so well and I knew him, we always had each others backs. As I am left here now to just remember him, our memories together (good and bad).. I cry and I smile a little but not much. I think back to last new years and I fell asleep early. I didn't get to say "Happy New Year" to him or anyone else for that matter when the clock struck midnight. He called me though and left me a voice message, he sounds tired but just sweetly says "Well, Happy New Year, I thought I would hear from you by now but anyway I love you, bye." I regret not being able to say it back to him until that morning.. but like everyone has told me and been telling me.. I can't think this way and keep hurting myself with all the things I should have done and didn't or wish I could have done differently. My dad not being here has definitely changed me and the way I look at life. Everything now is an opportunity and I make choices everyday that I may look back on and regret and wish I would have done things differently. I am going into 2014 with a heavy and still broken heart and new perspectives on life. Love your loved ones so very much and make the best of their time here.
Happy New Year Fajh, continue watching over me like you always have. I love you always. -your little girl, your princess Rocky, your daughter.
