#newscycle

I feel helpless with this weeks news cycle. Race is not something that touch’s my life. For the first time I live in an international group. We we moved into this complex we met people of every shade, to me it made no difference I say good morning to everyone. When the little boys on the first floor called me Mrs.Nice White Lady I laughed each time thinking of their sweetness. Like everyone I keep up with daily news and this story horrified me. I keep thinking Mr. Floyd’s family will have such a hard time grieving. This video will stay in a constant loop until the next news cycle, it will circle back as the trial proceeds and later as the news channels do their in-depth investigations. They will watch this man they loved die an unfathomable amount of times. I have said nothing at all because of the shame that people who look like me did this. Someone I follow on twitter pointed out that other white mothers haven’t supported this family. When I tweeted back how shocked and awful this is that it caused me to feel I shouldn’t be vocal as it may insult people of other colors, I learned many things mostly that this topic is scary and hard to talk about. Now I am worried at my ignorance of how much passion people carry silently each day. Is my cheerful good morning causing other people stress? I honestly do not care what shade anyone is. I enjoy knowing my neighbors. I enjoy giving push pops to a kiddo learning to ride a bike or toy cars to those cuties on the first floor but am I forcing myself on them because I am pale and they might be darker? Is it wrong to be less cheerful to protect a feeling I know nothing about? This is such a hard topic how would I even begin to assess areas where I need to learn? When problems in life come up I try to start from kindness, I seek out PBS documentaries and speak to people I know who have experience in this area. This may be the beginning of new ideas for me.

Anyone getting tired of the Catholic School kids story yet? I am.