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I am now scared to love. Afraid to open up.
Yet with anything else I would jump in a second at the chance of taking a risk but with you it's hard because when I love, I love hard because I know how much I needed that love.
You see I was always in the shadows, always second never first. Competing to be seen so maybe it's more then just being scared maybe I'm just used to not being seen. Maybe that's why I can't jump.
-everythingididntsay
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So I found her number saved on the back of a gas station receipt. Insecure and confused I just stared at the crumbled up piece of paper wondering if this is where it should end. I cant make you love me. I will never be her..but she will also never be me.
I am beautiful.
I am the definition of patience.
I am funny.
I am kind.
I am honest.
I am bright.
I am sweet.
I am thoughtful.
I am selfless.
I am loveable.
I am intelligent.
I am smooth.
I am me.
I deserve all the love.
I deserve all the care.
I deserve to be treated right.
I desereve to be told the truth.
I deserve to be at the center of your world.
I deserve to be fought for.
I deserve to be chosen. Every god damn second of every god damn day.
Do not do things to make me second guess these statements because at the end of the day I will somehow convince myself again that I. AM. WHAT. I. SAY.I AM. And your pathetic, unthoughtful decisions will NOT intervine with what I am and what I deserve. If YOU will not treat me the way i demand to be treated...then like a gentle fawn I shall leave this meadow.
I've finally realized, that I'll always be second choice. I'll always be when its convenient or they need something. Ill never be the best friend, or someone's first choice. And I've also realized that people I thought were and called my best friend weren't .. I wasn't ever as important to them as they were to me...
I just want to be someone’s first choice. 😔
There are people who settle for second best; because they think they’re not good enough.
second best. (@broken-excerpts)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Why can't I
Be a priority? For once.
My mood
Me: fuck yesterday
Me: fuck today
Me: fuck tomorrow
Me: fuck every single day that ever happens
Me: *screams in frustration*
My English teacher used to say "When you say 'I love you' and he doesn't say 'I love you too' there's no relationship." Even simple lessons from English mean a lot, but I don't to you. "P.S. I love you." that's what I'll ever be, 'Postscript'; because loving me will just always be your last thought.
