#never stop!

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Ghost glaring at them as he watches Soap and this new sergeant laugh together, bent at the knees as they joke around even more. Ghost had to walk away because it all came to a head when Johnny clapped his hand on this new sergeants shoulder just like he used to do with Simon and Ghost just feels his heart break. That was supposed to be him. Not this new sergeant.

Gaz gazing at them both with his arms crossed, he feels horrible as he watches them both spar. They are scoffing at each other and making remarks but still are grinning through it all, when particular hard punches or kicks land, they’re both so close to each other checking on the other. Just like how Gaz and Soap used too. And when Soap accidentally throws the new sergeant forcefully down on the ground, a pathetic wheeze knocked out of him, Gaz’s guilt tenfolds as he smiles at the unfortunate state of the new sergeant, he shouldn’t be feeling happy about that. Gaz’s heart stops and shatters when he sees Johnny bend down, faces almost touching as he hauls the new sergeant up and carries him oh so gently to the Medic. Gaz feels like he’s about to throw up.

And don’t get me started on Price..Sure he had to talk to the new sergeant but it was strictly professional. No joking about football, blowing up things and scolding him for tormenting ghost, none of that. (Well the sergeant never tormented ghost but oh well)

Price sighs, standing outside Soaps door and instead of knocking and checking in with him like he used to do, he just stands and listens as Soap and the new sergeant are talking deeply about things and conversing about their past, life in the military and so and so. Price feeling his heart sink as his place is taken, this new sergeant comforting Soap through his nightmares which Price used to do, would have Johnny come to his office and have a chat. Maybe some tea. But no, this new sergeant swept in and stole his place. Took one of his boys. Price feels unaccomplished, he failed at recognising the damage that LT2 did and now he’s paying for it. They all are.

I think this invisible thread of just observing the new sergeant and Soap breaks when Soap and the new sergeant are sparring and Gaz, Ghost, and Price are training together, sparing spiteful glances at the two on the sparring mat when they hear the new seargent call Soap, Johnny. And Soap doesn’t correct him, just grins

Gaz whips his head around so fast that his neck protests violently for the next few days. He ignores the pain, it’s a punishment. A punishment for not being able to acknowledge Johnny’s torment and ignoring his off standish behaviour throughout it. If Johnny replaced him, he deserved it. He thought, though it shattered him to realise.

Ghost stops mid workout to just stare hard at the ground, his back is bent which does a good job at hiding the solemn sadness in his eyes. His back aches for the rest of the day and he basks in this feeling. He tells himself that he’s ready to go through so much pain just to feel an ounce of loneliness that Johnny did with LT2, if it helped Johnny he’d do it.

Prices eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, he recovers first though his eyes are deep in thought for the rest of training. He has to erase and restart paperwork as he keeps getting distracted by the thought of being replaced, his eyes hurt from lack of sleep and he tries to finish all the paperwork, for Johnny, he repeats like a mantra.

Another thing is that Soap isn’t even avoiding any of those three, they are avoiding him and Soap guesses it’s probably out of guilt so instead of talking to them head to head he just writes letters, redoing them over and over to reassure them it’s not their fault and they couldn’t have done anything (well they could have but they didn’t know). Except the letter starts looking like a different type of letter..if you know what I mean..And when Johnny slips the letters under their doors and it just happens to be the night when he won’t be in his room as he gives his goodbyes to the new seargent outside. Ghost breaks down Soaps door and surveys the room before his heart leaps which was rapidly beating in his chest leaps up to his throat at the absence of Johnny. Gaz is rapidly sprinting up and down the corridors and out every exit and in every entrance, trying to figure out where Soap could be. Price is in his office, doesn’t know about any of this until Ghost and Gaz is wildly throwing open the door, panting and exhausted as they try to explain through teary eyes that Soap might have killed himself.

Price felt his heart fall down to his feet, nausea building up on him as his mouth started to salivate at the mere thought of one of his boys taking his own life because of something Price only realised too late, and even then it wasn’t Price, it was Ghost. Price is shaking although not like how Ghost was, he was twitching like crazy or how Gaz’s eyes were darting around the room, but somehow through it all Price asked them how they knew, what happened. And of course to see the letters.

Soap is giving a hug to the new sergeant, waving him off, patting his back and telling him to keep in touch as his new friend boards the helicopter to go back to his own task force. Soap watching the helicopter leave and then making his way back to the base, albeit at a slow pace as he enjoys the breeze of the wind on his face and he reminisces about his nice time with the new sergeant. Soap being oblivious to the mental breakdown going on at the base, so he just walks even slower. Back at base, once Gaz and Ghost actually manage to fucking speak a word, Price looks as white as paper though his mind races with possibilities before he looks down at the paper he was currently filling out and had to tell Gaz and Ghost that Soap was actually out sending farewells to the new sergeant who is leaving. Price has to reiterate it a few times for Gaz and Ghost and also for his own sake. Then Price observes Ghost and Gaz’s trembling forms, stinking of sweat and shaking and he states that this really isn’t healthy for them and they all need to talk. Once they find Soap of course, who just got back to base and is bombarded by Ghost and Gaz.

Also imagine the new sergeant being the same age LT2, maybe acting the same like being friendly, trustworthy (if LT2 managed to get Ghosts trust, he must’ve been trustable) except this new sergeant isn’t anything like LT2 in the negative way, and he helps Soap heal from all this stuff.

I just realised how much i’ve written i’m so so sorry - (Can I be 🫀⚡️ anon?) Also Idk why but this whole LT2 thing reminds me of Winter by Edwin Morgan. Especially the last stanza. about ice that sees nothing and nothing that sees.

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