Todd and Neil on their first date (yes, this is totally canon, you cannot tell me otherwise)
this is my first fic so please don't judge :)
The coffee shop was loud. Much louder than Todd expected such a place to be. He’d imagined quiet. Maybe the clink of mugs, maybe soft jazz humming out of the radio. A place where his thoughts would not be disturbed. But it was alive with chatter, and his hands wouldn’t stop shaking long enough for him to stir the sugar into his coffee. He didn’t particularly like coffee, but the boy sitting across from him did.
Neil was leaning back in his chair, taking a small sip from his cup. The steam curled around his face, a twinkle in his eye as he watched Todd. Todd was envious of how Neil was perfectly calm. Or at least pretending to be. As he placed the cup back down, Todd watched as Neil’s thumb found its way to the edge of his napkin, playing with a corner of the paper until it frayed.
“You, okay?” Neil asked, voice low.
“Yeah,” Todd said quickly. Giving Neil a quick glance before staring at the window. “Just – uh… warm in here.”
Neil gave a soft chuckle, moving his head to try and be in Todd’s eyeline, grinning. “It’s October.”
Todd tried not to smile back, now staring at his lap. It was ridiculous, really, how one look form Neil could untie the knots in his chest and make him forget how to breathe at the same time.
They talked for a while, about nothing, about everything. Classes, poetry, and a new play Neil wanted to try and audition for. How the leaves on campus had turned the colour of rust and gold. Todd listened more than he spoke, but Neil didn’t seem to mind filling the silence. He always had that way of making quiet feel like something shared, not something empty.
“So, you’re really going to do it?” Todd asked after a moment, his fingers tracing the rim of his cup. “Audition, I mean. Like after everything. You’re not… scared?”
Neil smiled faintly, as if amused by the question. “Of course I’m scared.”
Todd blinked, surprised. “You don’t seem like it.”
Neil shrugged. “Being scared doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.”
Todd tilted his head, studying him. “I don’t think I could. Stand up there and… say things. In front of people.”
“You could if you wanted to,” Neil said simply, eyes soft. “You think too much before you leap.”
Todd’s lips parted to respond, but no words came. He looked down instead, a small frown tugging at his mouth. “It’s not that easy. You make it sound so…”
“Brave?” Neil offered.
“Yeah,” Todd said quietly. “You’re brave, Neil. You always have been.”
Neil’s smile faltered – just a little – but he didn’t look away. “Maybe. Or maybe I just learned to act like it.”
Something about that made Todd’s chest ache. He wanted to tell Neil that acting brave was still a kind of bravery. But before he could, Neil reached out for his cup again, the moment drifting away like the steam between them.
Soft pit-pats started as a gentle shower of rain took over the sunny afternoon. It was a soothing sound against the windows. Neil leaned across the table, closer to Todd’s face, his voice soft, low. “We could walk back in it. Be all poetic about it.”
Todd was caught off guard before a warmth bubbled in his chest as a laugh split out of his mouth. The sound surprised both Neil and him. “You’d catch a cold, Neil.”
Neil shrugged, his eyes tracing Todd’s face. “Sorry, did you say something?”
Todd laughed again, and Neil grinned victoriously. How did he keep doing this? How did one boy somehow manage to make him completely full of joy? There was a pause. The kind of pause that felt too full, like the air itself was waiting. Neil’s moved his hand onto the table, between them, his palm open, trying to be casual. Todd stared at it. A wave of nausea rose in his stomach. No, that wasn’t the right word. It was something else. It made him want to smile, to cry, maybe even scream. Then it made him want to shrink away, turn back into the quiet comfort of his room, where only he could feel himself. His own fingers fiddle in his lap. He looked up at Neil to find him already staring at him. His eyes were soft, longing even, proud in some sought of way. Todd thought brown was a cruel word for something so alive. They were sunlit honey, the calm between storms, the warmth that stays when everything else goes cold. Outside, the rain fell in sheets, but the sun was still there, shining quietly in Neil’s eyes.
Todd’s finally found the strength in his fingers, as his hand inched closer to Neil's open palm, trembling like they might change their mind. His fingers brushed clumsily against the warmth of Neil's hand, and the heat of embarrassment crawled across his cheeks. But Neil didn’t pull away.
“See?” Neil said softly. “You’re brave, too.”
Todd didn’t realise he’d been holding his breath until Neil’s thumb brushed against his. And for a second, the world went quiet, just the way he’d imagined it.
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Hi, I did this before - but I guess I'll do it in a bit more detail? Anyways my friend from Uni had a complaint about what purpose the cave scene with Tina, Gloria...Cause all it did was reveal Charlie's plot against Welton and Cameron's distaste of the matter...But she goes onto say something like this
"what other purpose is there than to prove that these two are clearly uninterested in women" - Great point actually. I mean Neil and Todd could care less.
Now this friend of mine's an English Student and when we first met I asked her if she'd watched it and she jumped in and said that she has. However, we had also discussed Maurice at some point and she immediately skipped over a lot of things to tell me that 'they're in love'. Also not the last person to tell me this. I talked to like a few other people who pointed out this...
Here's my little grain of the argument...Just to add to what my friend said...Charlie's reading the poem and they look at each other - they're smiling and there's a mirror scene almost...Like Todd looks at Neil and Neil returns the gesture...
Anyhow - Point two is how they mirror these two with every other pairing *cough cough cough Chris and Knox cough cough* There about the only other pair we see similiar scenes from.
Like they both have these scenes set in the night. Knox can be with Chris cause that is what's normal and he can be in a crowd but then there's Neil and Todd's scene - they're all by themselves in their bubble
Like there's no reason why this should otherwise happen? Also cinematic parallels - You get it...
And last but certainly not least the way they look at each other when they shoot for the stars.
In the poem scene - They don't do a group reaction - I mean they totally could but it's mostly Neil and everyone else is in the background and they blurred but that's it.
I mean just the way they bloody look at each other and mirror each other a lot - Case and Point...these scenes
Okay but seriously I want to know this - What are your thoughts on Anderperry...Cause I've read the tiktok and tumblr and pinterest comments and we've kind of come to this inherent understanding that these boys were probably in love and are soulmates - But as for me - There is definitely love there.
Todd and Knox became psychiatrists so they could help kids like Neil. And every day they do their best to make sure history never repeats itself with anyone who is suffering so much.
The dorm was quiet that night. Most of the boys were in the main room, studying away or doing something stupid. Todd was just where he wanted to be, in the midst of his own quiet. Even the wind outside was giving him peace, falling into a small kind of hush. The silence felt layered, heavy yet peaceful. Todd’s very own blanket, he couldn’t pull it any tighter around himself. He sat by the window, knees drawn up, his newest read open but forgotten in his lap. The light glowed faintly against his skin, turning his breath into a silver mist against the glass.
Snow had started falling just after sunset. Thick, lazy flakes that drifted down in slow spirals, each on catching the light before melting against the windowpane. The world outside was so much softer, blurred at the edges, as if someone had erased every sharp line until only light and shadow remained. The fingers of the bare branches danced out across the fresh carpet glowing in the lamplight. He didn’t hear Neil come in until that floorboard creaked beneath him. Soft like the snow falling, but familiar, for it always gave him away.
“You’re going to freeze sitting there,” Neil said. His voice was muffled, a scarf still around his neck, his curls dusted white, his cheeks flushed a bright pink from the cold.
Todd smiled faintly without turning around. “It’s quiet. I like it.”
Neil stepped closer, brushing snow from his shoulders, little flecks scattering like powdered sugar onto the floor. “I like it too,” he said softly. “The snow makes everything sound… gentler. Like the world’s trying to whisper.”
Todd looked away from the window and at Neil. The over hanging light bathed him in a golden glow, his eyes wide and alive. Even with the scarf covering most of his lower face, he could see Neil’s grin powering through. He looked impossibly vivid. A dash of warmth in the pale cold of the winter quiet. The sight of him made Todd’s chest tighten in that darn, familiar aching way.
“Did you go outside again?” Todd asked.
“No, I just sprinkled myself in flour from the kitchen.”
“You know what I mean, Neil.”
Neil grinned at the sound of his name, tugging off his gloves one finger at a time. “You should’ve come.”
“I didn’t want to disturb your peace,” Todd murmured, smiling a little.
Neil grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “You don’t disturb anything, Todd. You’re part of it.”
Todd turned fully then, the bench creaking softly beneath him as he set his book aside. “That’s not true.”
“It is.” Neil’s tone softened, something honest and steady underneath. “Without you, my peace is disturbed.”
Todd didn’t know what to say to that, so he looked back out the window instead. He hated Neil and his stupid words and his stupid grin and his stupid eyes sometimes. Why couldn’t he come up with things like that? Well, he could. But saying them out loud, to his face, was a whole different story. Being distant, watching from the sidelines was much more… simpler. It was almost second nature, and he was fine with that. The snow was falling harder now, turning the night into a world of white and silver. Every sound - every breath - felt softened, swallowed by the storm.
“Come on,” Neil said suddenly, reaching out his gloved hand. “You have to see it properly.”
“Neil-”
“No excuses.”
Before Todd could protest, Neil was tugging him toward the door, his hand warm even through the chill of his glove. The contact sent a jolt through him, sharp and electric, but Neil only laughed that bright, breathless laugh that filled the whole hallway as they slipped outside. He didn’t even stop to put his other glove on; it watched them leave from its spot on the floor.
The cold met them instantly, crisp and biting, but the air smelled clean, full of pine and frost and the faint trace of woodsmoke drifting from the dormitory chimneys. Snow fell in sheets now, soft as feathers, clinging to their hair and lashes, dissolving on their skin. The world was white and endless. Todd tipped his head back, eyes half-closed, watching the flakes drift down like tiny stars.
“It’s so quiet,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.
“Yeah,” Neil breathed. “It’s like the world’s holding its breath.”
They stood there for a long moment, side by side, their shoulders almost touching. Todd could hear Neil’s breath – quick and warm in the cold air – could feel the faint tremor of it against his arm.
“You’re shivering,” Neil said suddenly.
“I’m fine,” Todd lied.
Neil rolled his eyes, stepping closer until Todd could see the faint frost glittering in his curls. “Here,” he said, unwinding his scarf. He looped it around Todd’s neck, fingers brushing the skin just below his jaw, light, careful, but enough to make Todd’s breath catch.
The scarf smelled faintly of pine and ink and something else. Something indefinably Neil.
“Better?” Neil asked.
Todd swallowed. “Better.”
Neil smiled, hands still resting against the edge of Todd’s collar. “You look good in my scarf.”
Todd could feel his heartbeat in his throat - fast, uneven. He didn’t know if it was the cold or Neil or both. “Neil,” he started, his voice too soft to hold steady.
But Neil only tilted his head, eyes bright as glass, snowflakes melting against his lashes. For a second, one perfect, fragile second Todd thought Neil might lean in. Instead, Neil grinned, voice low. “Let’s make footprints before anyone else does.”
He took Todd’s hand again and pulled him gently down the steps into the untouched snow. Their footprints trailed behind them, side by side, winding through the white. The wind rose again, brushing snow against their coats, but Todd barely felt the cold. The world was quiet, the night endless, and somewhere beneath it all, warmth bloomed in his chest steady, certain, impossible to hide. This kind of quiet was better.
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