I'm okay! (Trust me) (I'm not okay)

If there was a world record for getting stuck in mentally exhausting internships, Id probably be one of the top candidates.

Look, I had high hopes for this one, but dear god it just keeps getting worse. Even my parents don't put this much pressure on me, and my parents are very asian!

Anyways, to keep it short: I basically got stuck solving an impossible problem in a currently unexplored research area. Like the 100% not feasible kinda problem. Which by the way wasn't even my idea! My supervisor (who doesn't know shit about this field fyi) just kept on telling me to do it anyways. Despite explaining multiple times that the problem she wants me to solve is not feasible AND it was a problem completely unrelated to the domain. She was basically creating a problem which isn't really a problem.

I've had multiple breakdowns over this, because we have a 6 week deadline and I'm supposed to implement a MVP, run evaluation tests AND write a research paper on it within the time period, and if chinese PhD students with years of research couldn't do it, how tf am i supposed to do this shit in a month? I'm just an idiot undergrad and this is an unpaid internship.

Anyways she's changed my requirements and scope multiple times instead of removing the impossible bit, so I would have to start from scratch again every time I went to her for help and she told me to "try" something. And what infuriates me the most is that she doesn't even understand that her little "change" that she told me to try changes the project methodology entirely. And she's changed objectives so many times, I can't even explain the project to my peers any more.

Oops this turned into a rant. But I still have 3 weeks left of this hell and now she wants the paper tomorrow and I haven't written fuck all. I very desperately want to leave but I've come too far to give up now. This has occupied my brain so much that i couldn't even do my daily leetcode and work on my own projects for my resume that I promised myself I'd do. And it hurts because those projects would add so much to my skills and knowledge, more than crying over this impossible internship would ever do. And it also hurts because all this time is gone and won't come back.

So I text him till 2 am and explain my entire theory, blaming it on the staff's negligence in making seating arrangements, and how there's actually a whole room of people with missing papers, not just me. All at the risk of sounding like an absolute madwoman and being the central topic of his standup comedy session in the next class. Which i cannot skip again because he has gone from chill guy mode to Mr. ruthless marks-cuts-a-lot and has basically started threatening us all. (We do not fear him but we do fear failing so we'll have to attend)

Why do I get informed about this stuff at the literal last day I'm sobbing and there are bed bugs on my bed and I have a test tomorrow and I'm still recovering from today's exam I just can't do this anymore I'm not prepared for the test and then I'm gonna get yelled at for not doing the screening test and get interrogated in front of the whole class